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My only goal in life is to have sex with a beautiful, incredibly sexy woman.
I will not die happy unless this happens.
Just proposition as many women as possible until one says yes. You'll probably find one within a year if you ask at least one per day.
Too bad. Unless you have a button that kills all chads, your only option is to pay for a hooker.
>>28492196
The only way this can happen is with a prostitute. $1,000 - $2,000 range. It's the same for anyone who isn't a 10/10 male or rich
>have beehive under porch
The bees keep slamming into my window.
>>28492115
Gas the kikes-- I mean bees.. Heh heh..
>>28492115
Dude I'm envious. I have had some flies or bees buzzing around my house for months. Never see any bugs. Can't tell if blind, beehive in attic, or going insane.
>>28492115
Perfect, if you leave some hive containers around you can ensure that no one bothers you ever again.
>fuck a fatty
or
>remain virgin
What would you choose, r9k?
>>28492089
I've made my choice, that's why I'm only 3 years away from wizard status.
>>28492089
How fat are we talking about?
>>28492089
Depends on what you mean by 'fat', if she's busty I'd fuck her but if she's like above that I wouldn't even consider.
Prom (Disaster) Stories thread
I'll start with mine:
>Be 14 year old robot
>People are searching for prom partners
>Due to some height limitations for partners and various other things that went in my favor I get to go with a 9.5/10 that was superior to me in every aspect(intellect, looks)
>I can see that she doesn't want to go with me but the pity she has for me can be sensed easily
>I decide to ask her to be my girlfriend during the dance
>Spend the upcoming month on my looks, fix my nails(even though I a male), get rid of the acne on my face, start paying attention to my meals, buy an expensive cologne.
>Deep down I know that I just couldn't be with her
>The day comes and we start dancing.
>As the dance gets close to finishing I say:
>"Do you know the biggest lie I have ever told? That I could be with you. I told it to myself. If I had one wish I would use it to go back in time and make up for the times that I didn't have the courage to talk with you."
>She laughs
>Her friends laugh afterwards
>I stop caring about my looks
>I completely abandon my social life
>And that's how I became a robot
>>28492064
>14
>prom
Proms for juniors and seniors only
>>28492105
Our country stole the idea of proms from the US.
Not everything is the same here.
>going to prom
GET THE FUCK OFF MY BOARD
>mfw getting (You)s is the only thing that keeps me alive
How many (You)s did you got today?
A lot. I make like 10 threads a day and most of them get tons of replys. I dunno why. I'm not even a fembot or claim to b.e
>>28492057
Literally zero, OP.
Please kill me.
>>28492091
here is a friendly (you) now kill yourself
H-he'll come back eventually, right?
>>28492004
OP, the only character from all chapters of this story that is going to survive, is going to be, ironically, the midget.
Sorry to break your dreams, but R.R. Martin doesn't like survivors.
>>28492004
he dead famalam. I think not showing it was intentional misdirection.
>>28492004
He was a robot, so sadly no.
All robots end up bad sooner or later, the normie writers killed him off quickly because of his autism.
>don't have schizo
>wish I had it so I'd get attention from others
Am I mentally ill?
No just an attention whore.
But you wouldn't be able to tell who's really giving you attention and who's actually a spy working for the government so they can find out what you look at online.
Everyone avoids you if you have schizophrenia
>Family had a shrimp/crawfish boil for mother's day
>They bought the seafood fresh from some guy in Mississippi, and ended up with way too much Crawfish
>Now we have a pile of shit-filled crawfish sitting in the fridge
Who the fuck thought it'd be a good idea to eat Crawfish? Crabs, Lobsters, and shrimp I can understand, but Crawfish? Why on earth would you dig these shit-eating mud roaches up out of some groody backwater river, let alone boil them up to serve for human consumption with far better foods like Corn, Potatoes, and Sausage?
Hate to say it but I feel bad for them
>boiled alive
That's gotta suck
How about you try one you flamming faggot. Although it is easy to mess them up it all depends on the seasoning
>>28491965
I'm eating a huge pile of them right now, the actual meat is pretty good, but there's so little of it.
Also is it normal for them to be filled with literal shit? there's a bit of some light brown, mushy substance that smells awful inside their midsection and the base of the tail. Very unappealing, if you ask me.
I...I'm in love.
Is that mystery? She got pregnant?
>>28491848
MOLE MOLE MOLE
>>28491875
i wish mystery.jpg was that cute to be honest
instead she's just an ugly potato
I WISH I WAS STACEY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>28491810
Maybe in the next life, familia
>>28491810
Why? What do you think you'll get out of it?
>>28491928
i'M FIVE SECONDS AWAY FROM KILLING MYSELF
KNOWING MY LUCK I'LL BE REBORN AS YET ANOTHER UGLY MUTANT
FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
>tfw no gf who looks exactly like this
who is thisfembot
>>28491781
i remember seeing this picture years ago. someone posted more recent photos of her, and she has gotten really fat and unnatractive, sorry to break it to you. shes turned in to some overweight babooshka looking bitch
She has extremely nice looking skin, but she looks like a total cunt
>>28491869
I remember seeing the same pictures, she's ugly as fuck now.
What are some tell-tale signs a girl has slept with a few black men and should be avoided like the plague?
>white
>blonde hair
>tattoos, piercings
>smokes weed
>athletic
>wears yoga pants and tank tops
>actually does yoga
>has a white husband
There are no signs. I've seen extremely innocent looking quiet girls with groids
She's jewish
She associates with jews
She says anything that sounds jewy
>>28491947
Her body looks just like Sara Silverman's
>muh pride for preservation of the white race
>>28491723
/pol/ is stupid, everyone should be race-mixing with asian women to increase the average IQ of the human species and make superior mixed babies
>>28491764
Close, but actually blasians are the future.
>>28491723
I don't even go to /pol/ but man they really must have embarrassed you for you to put in the effort of making this post.
What's the worst thing a bully has ever done to you /r9k/?
One time about 10 people got together, ambushed me, took my backpack, ripped it open and threw my textbooks out the window. Another time this stereotypical Stacy got two of her orbiters to push me down the stairs. Can't decide which is worse.
Both of these instances were in the 4th grade.
>>28491812
That's terrible. I got picked on by girls a lot in grade school and middle school. High school, guys started picking on me.
One of them groped me too in the hallwayim male
>>28491697
>make a gun and shoot yourself
btfo
Can we have another GF begging thread? Post about yourself and Male Anons Post what you want in a girl. Femanons Post what you want in a guy. Reply to each othergays are ok i guess
>>28491672
o-okay I guess nobody wants a gf sorry
>>28491672
Name of anime yes yes?
Must have small feets and 5'8 or under
