Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3050. page
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Robots, please: don't ever, EVER fall for the gf meme. You just THINK you need one, but it's your dick thinking for you. Go get a hooker, buy an onahole, etc. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES SO THAT THE URGES TO GET A GF DISAPPEAR. ROBOTS, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF THE GOD(S) YOU BELIEVE IN! THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER, YOU'LL END UP EVEN MORE FUCKED THAN YOU ALREADY ARE! I LOVE YOU ALL AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET HURT BY THOSE EVIL BEINGS!
>>28490179
>got gf
>depression went away
>stopped being bored
>still together after 6 years
im a human so human interaction was good for me. but i guess people can decide for themselves if they like being loved.
>>28490360
She's probably banging the neighborhood, buddy. 6 years? She cured your depression? She would've sensed your need of her in less than a year in and fucked a Chad.
I don't even care about the sex, I just want human interaction with someone who wants to be near me.
How to get qt fat nerdy gf /r9k/
HOW
>>28490113
>yogscast on cbbc
>childrens bbc
>all that swearing they do in every video
Just why.
Also
>3d
>qt
hehehehe
BE CHAD
E
C
H
A
D
>>28490113
If only I knew anon, If only I knew
>>28490130
Daily reminder that 2d thus you can't touch it
>tfw on a family trip and can't fap
Just do it in the shower. You'll have no material, but.
On trip with family
Staying in tent with brother and his friend
Showers are a communal shows block
Toilets are fucking gross
Spend 90% of time on the beach
Sexy girls in bikinis everywhere
Brother and his friend in swimming briefs with no issues, even though they are older
I just sit around in cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt trying to hide my little woodie
i once flicked the bean in the backseat on a road trip with family
horny as fuck ddriving 12 hours a day
How come normies will shun you if you mastrubate to anime, but if a black person posts shit like this on twitter its seen as ok?
Because everyone watched spongebob senpai
Black twitter is on point tbqh
Because no one thinks he is actaully literally jacking off to spongebob. He is just making a joke but your autism prevents you from understanding this.
>College will be the best years of your life! It's not like high school at all, you'll meet plenty of friends just like you!
>mfw I've made tons of new friends, had several hook ups, and lost my virginity in my first year
I'm about to go off to college how do i make friends
Oragami pastrami
>>28490126
This pretty much. What did you do wrong OP? Anyway don't worry about it, soon you'll start working. Your coworkers will be professional and nice to you in the workplace, but they'll become your friends and you'll hang out and drink beer after work as well. Just hang in there and you'll discover how much better life becomes when you get a job.
THE MADMAN HAS RETURNED
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tatk8g6Zctg
WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING THIS TRIPFAGS VIDEOS?
skelly pls reply
>why aren't you watching his videos?
He's an inconsistent underage normie with le depression XDD
This is just depressing.
>tfw skelly is one of your favourite tripfags
>tfw you were pretty excited to see this video
>you are jumped out of nowhere by a tv game host
>he proposes you a deal
>you have 20% chance to win 1 million dollars on the spot
>you have 80% chance to get 1 million dollars in debt
What do you do? Do you accemt the deal?
Accept.
If I get in debt I'll kill him on live TV then myself.
>>28490057
This
I'm neet anyway, good luck stealing my money
Be black shoot him go to jail
Tell them I didin du nuffin
Sew they give me 2 mil
The guy I shot goes to jail
For being racist
Mfw
What was the best year of your life robots?
Still waiting for it.
>>28490008
Before college.
Found out I was in loser, became depressed and I think about suicide everyday. Pretty sure I'm going psychotic from the lonliness.
>>28490008
2011
>kissed a girl
>almost got laid (Chad cousin organized a 4-some but I fucked it up)
>went out with friends on a regular basis
>started every game in varsity lacrosse
>quit pre-law/model un clubs
>some 6/10 girl started following me around all the time
>Chicago sports hadn't fallen off a cliff yet
>got my learner's permit
Not great, but it was still good.
There's a similar thread already up, but fuck it.
I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFE THREAD
Any advice from people who have changed their lives significantly, cyborgs who stared into the abyss and lived to tell the tale.
Any motivation and tips welcome
>>28490006
If you think of a diet change as radical then you're most likely gonna fail
Diet changes are most effective when they're subtle and incremental. cut out soda one week, then more clean meat the next.
Getting my teeth fixed starting tomorrow. Five dentist appointments. Improvement, but still ugly as fuck.
Any tips for whitening badly yellowed teeth or clearing up bacne+scars?
That thread yesterday about the white Knight that got shot in the face and died reminded me of pic related. Do you think she still talks to him? Would robots risk their lifes to save another person. At that exact moment of life and death surely the natural instinct to help would kick in. If it was some roastie or bully that fun of you what would you do. Personally I would let them die.
>>28489868
>best friend for the rest of my life
>best friend
>rest of my life
>friend
>>28489868
Post traumatic stress + near death experience = aphrodisiac for women. They definitely fucked I'm sure
>>28489868
Sure I'd save them, getting a little of harassment is part life, a human life is worth saving, even if it was a horrible person, unless its a serial killer or something.
Am i the only one who faps and just cums in his hands/pants and leaves it at that? Seriously, what the fuck is up with all this fap sock shit?
That's disgusting and lazy at an extreme level so I wouldn't be surprised if you were the only one currently on this board who does it.
>>28489852
i feel you op. let your pubes to the work!
pubes are nature's sponge, every time i fap i wipe it all on my undies/pubes and forget about it. 20 mninutes later it's completely dry.
>>28489852
Honestly I just do it in my pants and then leave it, usually wear black pants so stains aren't visible
My name is chad and i have social anxiety
>I haven't been laid for 3 months because I've been busy wagecucking
>chad acquaintance calls you on skype
>'damn dude life sucks i havent had sex in 2 months cos i work full time'
>>28490933
I haven't been laid since I got a job a couple years ago.
Why haven't you moved to Japan yet and got a qt Japanese gf?
hello gaijin i know u think posting this is funny but....well find you
Moving to japan in actually an awful idea if you aren't Japanese.
>>28489818
do japanese girls like latinos? race mixing is the future anyway, everyone should start breeding with pure jap women
>tfw chad would just look average it it wasnt for his hair and beard
>>2848980 how fucking pitifull is this thread
>>28489806
>and his fit body
>and his wonderful jawline
>and his skeletal structure
>and his...
Yeah. I feel sorry for him. :^D
>>28489806
Wow that guys sexy as fuck. 10/10 Would let rape me
Leave r9k forever. It's a brainwashing program and not worth your time and pain. Just go.
>>28489799
what did they brainwash me to do, be a worthless person?
i was already many years before i discovered this place
>>28489799
>he doesn't know r9k brainwashed him to leave
>>28489799
I wish I could follow this advice.
