Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 557. page
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What do I need to do to get chemically castrated so I never think about women again.
>>29780144
inject marijuana into your penis
>>29780144
You can volunteer for that supposedly. Some people have done it. I often consider doing it desu...
I guess just start talking to a doctor about it. It might take some convincing. Maybe argue that you're worried you could rape someone because you're "hypersexual"?
Taking it a little too far, huh?
Just literally get a chastity cage if that's the deal.
It's a lot cheaper and reversable.
>you pay for her dates
>Chad cums on her face
joke's on you I've never gone on a date haha
>she texts you good luck for your magic the gathering tournament
>chad pounds her ass despite residual excrement
>>29780122
>cumshot video
>woman looks pissed off
oh boy it's so hard to wash a few drips of cum off your face in the shower. you're fucking disgusting if you don't shower after sex anyways.
I NEED A FUCKING CIGARETTE
AAAAA@AAAAAAAAAHH)H)HHHHHHBHHHHHHHHHHH
You can do it anon. Ciggarettes are bad :)
>>29780107
smoke one, nerd.
I love nice Amaretto tobacco rolled into my spliffs.
>>29780107
I vape to keep that feel at bay
>No phone
>poorfag
>Need to verify an account
Someone please give me your number so craigslist can text you the code then tell me what the code is.
I'm out of options robots.
shameless bumperoo
If you post your cell number it will only take a minute.
No one is going to help me are they?
Well the thing is, its the internet friendo, even though i implicitly trust you as a human, just not any other anons on the internet. Sorry meng
>internet is fucked up
>have to call Comcast and have them fix it
>mfw trying to make a phone call
>tfw work for tech support for an ISP
>everyone loves me on the phone, begs for my personal number and hopes to get me every time because I always fix their shit so quick
>partly due to my technical prowess but also due to me being there for 3 years while everyone else works for 2 weeks and quits because they can't take it
>tfw might get a dope paying job at Time Warner Cable soon
>>29780118
oh, btw that ISP is like middle-of-bumfuck-nowhere DSL
>customer is mad that we aren't getting someone out there in 5 SECONDS to lick their anus
>mentions how Comcast is offering a good deal
>ask them why they switched to us in the first place
>"you guys actually answer the damn phone!"
So I understand a bit, OP.
>>29780118
What's the magic word to make you do your job instead of smugging me over the phone, Patel?
Who /paranoia/ here?
I'm starting to think everyone is trying to set me up. I can feel it coming. They are planning something, I know it.
>>29780081
Yes little roachy. Dance around, try to untangle all the strings.
Yet no matter how hard you try, you'll always walk straight into my trap.
>>29780081
>Iktf
Every time I stop talking to online friends I start hoping I didn't say anything autistic and I worry they actually despise me. I have literally no basis for this.
i literally carry around scissors because i always think im gonna be attacked. shit sucks bro
Why do teenagers bate being told what to do so much?
>teenage roommate in bathtub for an hour
>ask him to wash it out and he's mad about it
>wait another 30 minutes and ask him to wash it out again and he explodes. Cursing, wishing death upon me etc
I live in a house full of teenagers and it's filthy because if I ask them to clean anything up they get mad because they hate being told what to do. I've pretty much given up on keeping the apartment clean because we always end up having the "you're too bossy" argument.
>t. guy who just turned 20
>>29780133
>t. guy who just turned 21
You have to gain respect. The concept of age = authority is dead.
If they respect you and understand why you are an authority figure then you will not have any issues.
>be 35 year old robot excited about pokemon go
>install apk and start playing
>play for solid 3 hours
>a wild pokemon appears just pass the parking lot my apartment
>Throw shoes and shirt on
>as I am leaving, stacy i have had a crush on since i watched her move in is leaving as well, phone in hand.
>awkwardly say hi but she doesn't seem to notice because she is stuck on her phone.
>It looks like she is playing pokemon go too!
>Stacy is in front of me be a couple steps...that bitch its trying to get the wild pokemon!
>get super competitive but think im being cute and silly and yell goofingly "HEY THATS MY POKEMON!!!" and run full sprint by her
>Stacy shrieks
>as I go by, I notice her phone is on a facebook profile of chad
>I sprint a few more steps then realize I should apologize for freaking her out
>Turn around, Im a good 10 steps away from her now so I yell out "Oh Im sorry, I thought you were playing pokemon too!!!!
>Stacy makes...THE face....quickly gets in her car, tires squealing out of the parking lot
>I catch my pokemon
>On way back, I see some other Stacys on their balcony porch staring in aw at me
>Fuck it. Gotta catch em all
fucking kek OP. I might even have a good weekend laughing about this story (assuming anything on the internet is real)
>tfw they put the rarest pokemon in ghettos
Which pokemon did you get, OP?
I just want to stop being a NEET
I am literally less employable than a 16 year old single mother.
But why? Did you drop out or something?
>>29780279
No school in summer right now. Been applying like crazy to jobs, everything from stuff in my field to stuff like assisting at the library and stocking walmart.
I am sitting in my moms basement as we speak considering suicide. I hate having no money.
>work at a call center that was hiring literally anyone that walked in
>everyone in my training class dropped like flies within a month
>I stay
>call centers are known to have high turnover rates
>the work doesn't bother me one bit
>this valuable experience + time spent gets me an open door to any other call center job I want if I were to lose my current one
feels secure desu
So if """FEMBOTS""" exist, how come none of them are taking a robot bf?
I think the idea of a "fembot" defeats itself.
If they took a robot bf they are normies and the robot is a normie.
Because """fembots""" think they're robots just because they can't get Chads. They reject robots all day.
>>29780033
Being a normie with a gf that browses 4chan wouldn't be so bad.
Think about how many normans browse this board with a girl sucking on their dick.
Why do people even spare a thought to women? Women will never declare their love for you to the world, they will never conquer cities for you, they are parasites who can only take. They are weak, pathetic creatures who actually enjoy being treated like scum.
you have hiariously idealized notions of what it means to love. Yes, most women (and most men!!!) treat the people in their lives like easily discarded objects, but not all.
>>29779986
>(and most men!!!)
can you guys at least learn how to post without looking like newfags?
>>29780072
I've been here for three years. It's stupid to presume anything like that based off one's style of typing
Why do I struggle so much to form meaningful social contact? Everyone around me seems to do it so effortlessly, it seems even most people on this board have at least one friend or a gf/bf, but whenever I seek out some sort of social interaction or relationship it's like trying to touch opposite ends of a magnet. It's a painful feeling.
It's not that hard anon! Just BZZZZZZ
It's not that hard, but if you're completely clueless it'll take time.
I learned how to do it researching through the net, then applying what I learned to everyday social interactions. Since I don't have many "everyday social interactions" it took a good while.
When you've been alone for too long you're kinda fucked in the sense that you may be able to behave a certain way after finding the formula for social interaction, but it's not genuine, so the people who genuinely consider you a friend/lover, are just a tool you use for your own satisfaction by behaving a certain way. Which means that, in the end, you'd just rather be alone.
>>29779944
I'm the same way OP.
I literally don't understand friendship. It makes absolutely zero sense to me.
>tfw broke up with online gf
H-hold me robots
>>29779870
>online gf
lmao how do you have feelings for something that isn't real?
tell us what happened man
>>29779870
>Smoke a bunch of weed
>Put on old country music
>Come here
>See guy who lost gf crying
Try having no gf ever. Then maybe you wont be such a winy bitch and will noit mess with roasts on the itnern et
Later Im going to drive around smoking a joint and listen to the drive soudtrack and youre onna keep crying
asdfjasdfk you
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1v9zfslfK7n
>>29779866
That was a little gay to listen to.
You sound like an italian mouse
>>29779866
i can tell you are fat but i still love these threads
Get in here bros. I'll start.
>10 girls on dates in the past 2 years
>never made it past a 2nd date with any of them
>mom keeps asking me when I plan to find someone special
>honestly just feel like buying a tiny house and checking out of society.
>I feel so unwanted.
>>29779854
things women are attracted to
1- good looks
2- social status
3- financial security
work on improving those and turn the game around
stop chasing that special someone. focus on yourself, become the special someone an you'll never have to chase again
>>29779968
Well desu anon, I have average looks, and I make over 100k a year. I don't know what social status means. But girls still don't seem to stick around long enough.
>>29779854
THIS LOOKS SHOPPED
I CAN TELL FROM SOME OF THE PIXELS AND FROM SEEING QUITE A FEW SHOPS IN MY TIME.
