Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 561. page
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>I have many friends, so many I can't remember most of their names, but I know their stories and faces
>I'm on the honor's/president's list at college, born with genetics that make me intelligent
>be white male with no physical disabilities
>have been /fit/ for almost three years
>handsome Mediterranean face, proportional body with olive skin, larger than average dingus
>studying for doctorate's of pharmacy
>practicing Christian
So you might be wondering what's wrong with "chad?" In fact, you probably think I'm trolling. Please don't.
If you give a shit about a story, stick around. Or if you want to troll or something, that's fine with me.
I just need my story to be told
Pic not really related
>family is Armenian, escaped a war in Azerbaijan where they were mass murdering a bunch of Armenians
>they escaped to a refugee camp in Moscow, and then one in Armenia, and then settled in the US permanently
>family immigrated here in 1989; not too long before the soviet union completely collapsed
>family gives birth to my sister and I some time in the early 90s
>grew up in a poor townhouse neighborhood
>I spent my childhood days alone with my granny and sister.
>I can still remember sitting on Bobby's porch (bobby was my nickname for my "babushka") eating grapes, watermelon, and drinking Kefir
>Mama and Papa were always gone working, but whenever my mom was home, I was being yelled at and being called a liar.
>Mama literally yelled at me everyday as loud as she could
>to this day, I don't know why she was screaming at me
>used to tell me I was a bad kid, made me stand in corners all the time for things I wasn't sure what I did
>sister had childhood depression and early symptoms of schizophrenia but Mama just used to neglect her and tell her "she's just being a baby"
>my papa was my first hero: One day, when my mother was taking her day out on me, he told her to leave me alone and he hugged me. At that moment, I realized it wasn't my fault she treated me that way
>around age 6, Moma and Popa were arguing and yelling daily
>around this age, my sister started physically/verbally abusing me
>around age 7, papa started getting these weird headaches, but mama just called him a pussy and told him to stop complaining all the time
>eventually papa couldn't get off the couch because of his "headaches"
>mama calls him a liar, and tells us to not believe him
>a couple months later, finally, he gets to the hospital
>gets diagnosed with terminal brain cancer
>I stop trying at school, and teachers keep yelling at me and telling me I'm a bad kid for not trying
>kids physically/emotionally bullied me for being short and what not
>teachers basically convinced me I was retarded
>I would go to school and get called a failure, and then go home and see my mother sobbing, and my father dying/on chemotherapy
>mother convinced father to go to University of Michigan and participate in an experiment
>doctor assholes took interest in my father, because he had a rare form of brain cancer they only heard about in their textbooks during their drunken college days
>he gets signed up for this "experimental treatment"
>he starts hallucinating daily
>he became mentally retarded after a while
>a combination of the brain tumors and "experimental treatment" made him really violent from time to time
>sometimes, he would be in a near-catontic, calm state; then he would stand up screaming and start strangling someone
>this man was a 6 foot 1 body builder before his cancer, so it was terrifying
>once he chased me around the house, and I had to run for dear life
>I tripped over the divider strip on the floor in the doorway, and I stub my tow and I'm bleeding
>I see him standing over me, like an animal was about murder me
>he's screaming
Hello fembots and femanons. I am looking for a GF to marry and have a child with after many failed attempts. I figured perhaps here I could find someone decent. I am willing to judge people on paper for now with no looks so do not bother with pictures. I wish to know about you.
My qualifications include but are not limited to:
>Experience in 2D animation
>Bilingual
>CS major and minor in storytelling
>Worked as an editor for a Mexican publisher for 8 years
>Practice Krav Maga and Yoga
Personal info:
>White
>26 year old
>6'1 height/185cm
>176 pounds/80 kilos
>6.5 inch penis when erect(17cm)
Misc info:
>Own 2 dogs(will not get rid of them so allergic prospects are discarded from the get go)
>Drive a 2012 ecosport
>Renting a 2500/m apt for now due to work but plan to start working on buying a house now
>Perfect credit, no debt
>120k USD a year income
>Have a small library of books, board/miniature/video games, will not get rid of them
>I am not outgoing but I do not tolerate it when people try to decide who I hang out with. If I have female acquaintances, you do not have the permission to criticize our relationship or question my fidelity on stupid paranoia alone.
>I like lesbians and anime sometimes.
What I am looking for:
>Someone who is not loud
>Someone who will look after my child and dogs when I'm working or traveling
>Work optional but attention to housework and cooking are a must
>Ideally someone who enjoys reading, traveling and possibly video games though I never enjoyed multiplayer much
You may leave a message here with some basic information about yourself if and you seem interesting, I will reply to your post.
>>29778295
H-has Chris Chan returned?
>>29778295
>my child
>>29778388
Once we have it, obviously.
I WANT AN AUTISTIC ASPIE GF REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>29778282
NO YOU FUCKING DONT YOU IDIOT
>>29778282
You really don't though. Although, it is kind of fucking awesome when she wants you to choke her and order her around since she doesn't know how to life. Aside from that, they're extremely fucking crazy and you can't take them out in public... ever.
>>29778282
no.
if that webm is any indication, you want a "quirky" stacy who tries really hard to not fit in.
this was the strangest human interaction i have ever had and I don't know how to feel
>be me
>today
>taking train home, minding my own business
>grill sits in the seat that faces me, but she's not directly in front of me, diagonally. thank god
>she pulls out a dollar, and nods at me
>"before you get up, I have a dollar for your thoughts. a penny is dumb. would you rather kill a normie chad who always succeeds, or a potential roastie because women are terrible?"
>i lost it on the inside, but gotta seem cool
>i grin and say roastie
>she seems satisfied and gives me the dollar
>bros i am panicking so hard by this point, i can feel my hands getting sweaty already
>can't make eye contact with her
>look up at her once, she's looking out the window in the other direction
>i ask why she's on my board and how she knew I was a robot
>"i don't really know, I was just kind of taking a leap of faith here"
>she says she has hard time understanding and connecting with people, comes to r9k to talk to people sometimes but she mostly lurks
>we talk for a while about current situations
>i kinda start to feel bad for her because her friend just died in hospice care
>tfw i can relate with my mom
>try to tell her to move on without sounding like a dick
>my stop is next
>UH OH
>when the train stops she gives me this small green notebook
>we don't say bye or anything
>train leaves and i am standing on platform like an absolute idiot
>look inside notebook
>no name or anything just a bunch of doodles and words and poems
??????? why are grills so weird what the fuck is happening how am I supposed to feel about this what the absolute FUCK
nice fake story, give proof
post pics of notebook
this story is fake as fuck
Got the "I have a boyfriend" treatment from this skeletal qt after months of being her friend. Everyone thought we were dating already.
I'm a 20 year old virgin and all my friend make fun of me for it. I've never met a passable woman who hasn't blown me off. There is literally no point in trying anymore. I want to hurt myself.
>>29778261
>after months of being her friend
There's your problem, you have to dick them quick. Don't give them time to think.
Fuck and chuck
Pump and dump
Carpe diem, my faggottino friendo
>taking months to ask them out
There's your fucking problem OP. If you're interested in someone express it. They're not going to wait for you.
>>29778261
>I've never met a passable woman
>passable woman
getting creative with ways to say "8+ /10 stacey", aren't we?
How many times have you masturbated today?
I can't even keep track, these days.
Onve. Yesterday was three.
While masturbating, I know that this isn't true, but I think that if I do it long enough, I would pull my dick to enormous size. Even if it did happen, I have shit girth.
Zero, I'm ill.
>at sizzlers restaurant
>get seated next to full family of Mexicans
>2 old people
>a couple of 2
>couple's relatives
>couples kids
>they're extremely loud and disgusting
>talking with mouths full while food drips out
>they ordered water but get soda refills
>kids standing on chairs screaming for food
>old guy starts coughing without covering his mouth
>rude to nice waitress giving remarkable service
>when they're finished their table looks like a pig ran across it eatting different portions of random food
>they leave 2 dollar tip
>as the female cleans their table with a sigh I jokingly say "hey that's 25 cents per person"
>when I finish my food I organize my plates into one corner, get some food to go and hand her a 10 dollar tip
>she blushes, gives me a bear hug (she's skinny but busty as hell) and says thank you
>I reply y-you too
>smile and walk out
How bad did I fuck up, do you think she wanted the d
>>29778173
>ITT: Things that never happened
og
No she went into the kitchen and said "that creepy guy who came to a restaurant alone wants more food to go, fat fuck"
>>29778239
Then why would she hug me
yo, hotpocket who deleted the gay thread, how about you leave the activist moderation to 420chan and twitter
>>29778159
well I think he did the right thing. "based" mods /msg nickserv identify yetsturbob iamafaggot_ FUCK WRONG WINDOW
>>29778159
maybe he deleted a gay thread because... it would have fit better on /lgbt/? just guessing
>>29778188
Nice impression of David Spade circa 1994, but /lgbt/ is a blue board. If you want to enforce unwritten and selectively applied rules, why don't you go the fuck back to either Twitter or Reddit?
are we united by anything more than hate and sadness?
Yeah, there's boipussy and dicks!
do memes count or are they subsumed under hate and/or sadness
>>29778217
those are pretty sad though
>tfw that 30 second intense drive of motivation to turn you life around and fuck shit up
>minute later it's like it never happened
how 2 sustain motivation?
I don't know, but I'll keep your thread bumped.
i would say its due to some sort of chemical imbalance. sounds like it.
Something that helps me is building a small plan. Also focus on working towards your goal everyday even if it's 15 minutes or 60 minutes or longer.
Often once you start being productive it's hard to stop.
>tfw no kalayaan fighting, isda skinning, pelikula watching, diyaryo reading, mata straining, kawal honoring, tubig drinking, salamin shattering, eleksyon voting, kape brewing, mukha cleaning, daliri fracturing, kuko biting, tsinelas snapping, lamesa wiping, sapatos breaking, kotse fixing, itlog cracking, ilong blowing, ube chopping, puso racing, damit wearing, kumot weaving, puwit slapping, paa rubbing, buhok combing, ulo scratching, simbahan attending, parol hanging, kamay washing, tuko calling, jeepney driving, kanin picking, manok chasing, tinikling dancing, tiyanak finding, aswang hunting, kabayo riding, carabao herding, baboy wrestling, duwende stomping, lechon roasting, lumpia cooking, pancit making, sinigang eating, forest loving, /r9k/ posting, qtp2t filipina gf
>>29777960
I have a friend (male) who looks like that girl but fatter and uglier
I was just thinking it has been awhile since I seen this thread
>>29778066
I've always said that girl looks like a boy. OP is a fag
How many of you wish you had a qt 3.14 daughter?
im not having kids. too many evil men in this world.
It is your child, not your wife
>>29777934
should have introduced the kissing when she was young and considered you her hero, senpai
hey robots,
I keep getting ditched by my friends, I am not that social and I don't understand why I am that way.
anyone /doesnotknowwhy/ here ?
come discuss
I know I should get out more to socialize but getting rejected really hurt me.
jeez, do we need to create controversy to get responses nowadays ?
>>29778477
Pretty much, but how can we know what the issue is with the info you posted?
>>29778531
I try to find people that feel the same way and then start a discussion actually
The same part over 100 times, restarting again and again. Going to smash the PS4
lord of cinder?
>>29777918
if you play dark souls 3 i would enjoy jolly coop sometime
>>29777918
OCD feels thread?
In '87, Huey released ... Fore!, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to Be Square," a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself!
OFF BY ONE
oregano
>>29777777
Just checking something
ore
why is his power amp on top of his pre amp and his eq on top of them all
he makes a shitload of cash but he couldn't even buy a matching cd player
