Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 681. page
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ITT we encourage each other to strive towards our goals!
>Me
>24
>live at home still
>kicked out of Military because retard
>be neet for 2 years
>get back into Uni
>Study to get my GPA above 2.0
>2.84 now
>Studying Software with 2 years left!
>>29723762
Keep up the good work Anon (capitalized your name, you're important :)) you'll get to wherever it is you're going. Doing Allah's work, you a real nigga.
>Me
>Don't do shit
>Not worth shit
>6 years going on 7 NEET prick
>I beat the Gatekeeper in Oblivion though
>>29723762
Have you done an internship yet? Had any personal projects? It is very important that you do or else no company will care where you graduated from. What kind of developer do you want to be?
>I'll be 21 in September
>doing CompSci at a state university
>should be going into my senior year
>program is lackluster and half assed by professors and students alike
>thinking about transferring to another university which has an excellent computer engineering program
>need a 3.0 GPA to even get in, then have to do another two years
>had a 2.49 overall, brought it up to a 2.79 with the past semester
>military training is going to make me miss first three weeks of the fall semester coming up
>afraid that will affect my GPA and thus my acceptance into the engineering university
>probably going to have to graduate 2 years later than all of my peers from high school
>if I don't make the solid effort into reading up on my classes now so that I'm not behind I could never transfer out
>be me
>24
>live at home still
>kicked out of college because retard
>be neet for 2 years
>finally caught them all
Don't fool yourselves, it doesn't get better.
>be me
>enjoy programming as a young boy
>parents push me to monetize it as soon as physically possible
>my hobby becomes my job at the age of 13
>work extremely hard my entire childhood to build a good resume while i'm still young
>never develop social skills due to extreme work ethic and lack of free time
>never develop any other hobbies due to a lack of free time
>continue into adulthood
>able to work at a fledgling business as its only employee as soon as i get out of high school
>work even harder than before
>48+ hour work days often
>no weekends
>no holidays
>no time to even get a thought about myself in edgewise
>parents are so proud of me for my accomplishments
>don't feel anything
>somewhere along the line a friend manages to hook me up with some girl that's really naive due to her wealthy upbringing
>dumb as a bag of rocks but loyal
>dates are extremely rare due to work
>try to convince myself this is a good thing but it makes me feel emptier inside
>the sex makes me feel even emptier
>eventually stop having sexual urges altogether
>try to pursue christianity in an attempt to give me a reason to keep going
>it works for a while
>i meet some genuine people
>feel something other than apathy for once
>the illusion fades the more i think about my situation
>seems like a vain attempt to try and cover up the meaninglessness with hopeful anecdotes
>nothing anyone has told me about happiness has been true before
>why would this be true
>abandon the church
>return to the grind
>get married
>get a house
>have a kid on the way
>be 26
>have christian morals with no faith
>a job that's still sucking you dry but not as much
>a wife that loves you but is dumb as dirt
>tfw you have everything you were told you should want but you're still a walking corpse
Just end it all before you manage to convince yourself suicide is a sin. It will save you a life of meaningless pain and isolation.
This is why you stop giving a fuck and do whatever the fuck you want. Everyone expects everything of you, so give them nothing.
Thats what you get for falling for the Christcuck meme.
>2016
>believing in a fairy sky man
>>29723813
I don't even know what I want to do with myself anymore. I have no interest. I have no hobbies. Everything I try to do on my own accord just bores me. The only thing I know how to do is attempt to satisfy others with my actions.
I'm too far down this shithole to try it anyways, why bother.
>>29723830
The christcucking was only fuel to the fire, the issue is deeper than that.
I really fucked up yesterday.
>decide that I'm going to try smoking weed because I'm an incredibly bored neet
>manage to get a hookup from soc
>he actually shows up at the local gas station and sells me a gram and a half of weed for $20
>get excited to smoke it because parents have been gone all day at a funeral
>bike home and run upstairs to my room to smoke (inb4 underage. I'm 20.)
>make a makeshift pipe out of an empty soda can with holes poked in it
>put a little weed on the can and take a hit, getting ready to blow the smoke out the window
>immediately starting coughing violently and drop the burning weed ember on the carpet
>only realize my mistake once I stop coughing
>oh shit. I burned the carpet pretty bad and my room reeks of weed
>I've never smoked weed, so I'm already Confused as fuck
>hear the garage door start to open
>panic and eat the rest of the weed as quickly as possible
>still need to cover up the smell, and we don't own any air fresheners
>biggest mistake of my life inbound
>decide the only way to cover up the smell is to shit my pants in my room on the area of the burnt carpet
>blast liquid feces down my pantleg and onto the carpet
>just stand there and wait
>"hi anon! We skipped the dinner so we could eat here with you tonight. What is that-"
>they see me just standing there with shit still leaking down my leg
My parents forced me to see a psychiatrist after that. I successfully covered up my drug use though.
please god be real and not pasta
>>29723740
one of the first times I smoked weed I had a similar thing happen.
>family out for couple of days
>aluminum foil pipe
>why this shit won't light omfg
>inhale
>why am i not high omfg
>guess i'll make brownies
>start process for weed butter
>high hits
>every pot, pan, utensil in kitchen is out
>family calls, they're coming home early
>rush to fucking PUT EVERYTHING UP, HOUSE SMELLS OF WEED BCUZ COOKING IT
>DRINK WEED BUTTER BECAUSE NOWHERE TO PUT IT
>LEAVE DOORS OPEN TO VENT SMELL
>TIME HAS COME. THEY SHOULD BE HOME IN 10 MINS.
>SENSE OF SMELL FUCKED BUT CLOSE DOORS CUZ NO SAVING SELF
>moths have entered the whole house
>lay down, pretend to be asleep
Dude, eating raw weed or drinking weed in a butter mixture was awful. I swear to FUCK I almost choked to death. It feels barbed and gets caught in your throat, right? In retrospect it's funny as fuck.
gg on shitting yourself though. I would have rather got caught.
>>29723965
Yep. It's real. I was diagnosed with aspergers for it.
>it's the "Reborn as a Japanese schoolgirl" fantasy again
>>29723699
why are their legs so fucking thick. this isn't like me animu at all.
>it's the anon buys 4chan and wins the userbase's respect and admiration fantasy
>>29723728
fuck you. they are cute and perfect and probably plotting to drive their romantic rival to suicide through anonymous bullying
>ywn be an hero japanese schoolgirl ghost
Why is it that most youtube "pranksters" are spergs?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZLnl6cSQZ8
>steal $2 worth of goods
>better get out of here before the cops come!
>>29723648
lol
this virgin autistic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBYLHyk8tkM
>>29723648
That was epic he was pumped. However the one time I stole I got a rush but it wasn't fun.
>>29723960
Basically pranking himself here
>it's a dream where you have to pretend to be dead or else they'll get you
>it's a dream that retarts when you give up running away from them.
>it's a guilt inducing dream that questions your life decisions
>It's a dream where you can't read.
I've been considering to get this done. Problem is that no surgeon does it. Everyone seem to do it themselves. The risks of an infection are way too high. How do I stop being afraid and just do it?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penile_subincision
http://www.xvideos.com/video274932/split_penis.mov
>>29723633
why in the fuck would anyone ever do that?
holy shit, i think you just won this board. really man, you just won this board.
>>29723653
To create marvels, like sculpting or tending to a garden.
http://the-toast.net/2015/04/14/things-ive-learned-about-heterosexual-female-desire-from-decades-of-reading/
>A woman can forgive a man for anything except for having freckles or a WEAK CHIN
Is this true? Am I fucked?
>>29723624
you're fucked, but it's not because of your weak chin, it's because of your weak soul.
>>29723976
how do I workout my soul then nigger?
>>29724289
stop reading articles about which facial features are least attractive to women. go climb a mountain, kill a wild animal for your dinner and when you have done both of these, resist the urge to seek attention by telling people what you accomplished. become a man of the earth, free yourself of the need for validation from other people.
>"Hey anon, it's 4th of July! Are you getting turnt tonight?"
>>29723451
Mods can you delete this i have a better idea for the image
I'm gonna walk 2 miles to sit in the middle of a field and watch fireworks and hope someone shooting guns in the air shoots me
Well actually, I was just about to head to the liquor store :3
Hey robots post what you're eating ITT.
>>29723444
Well, I'm eating your moms pussy so i dont think i can post that ;)
>>29723444
only meat anon. I am on a keto diet.
>>29723444
I fucking love buckwheat.
I need advice guys. I'm thinking about selling my body.
I am young, small frame, in-shape, and fairly attractive. I have been hit on alot by old guys, and offered money for sex twice (which I declined). I really think I could have some success in selling my body. I am fairly desperate for cash and will sleep with nearly anyone that would pay me. They could do literally anything they want to me.
Older men would probably be the majority of my clientele.
How would I go about this?
>>29723355
>How would I go about this?
Kys
>hey guys I'm conflicted with something and I need advice
>>29723355
Depends where you are.
US:
>Find your favourite corner and stand there late at night
Most other places:
>Sign up to a legit "escort" service for your local area
>mfw my sister has shitty skin, is ugly, is fat and STILL managed to get married to a 6'2+ chad with wealth parents
>Not realising that girls have it easy.
kek
>>29723284
We're aware how easy it is for women. She actually probably just stood outside and waited 5 minutes and then that guy came along.
>>29723284
wealthy parents*
anyway, women have it so fucking easy lol.
Does anyone else have weird nights?
Last night I had about 3-4 very vivid dreams, the weirdest of which I was an instructor at an ISIS training camp in Poland. We were shipping people into the camp in trailers but they kept putting too many people in the trailers, so they kept arriving all diseased and stuff.
When I woke up I was wearing 2 pairs of underwear and there was a glass of orange juice on my desk.
>>29723281
Odd, last night I had a dream that I was in the Hitler youth but at the end they turned on us and sent us all to concentration camps. Except I somehow ended up in a nazi fairground fun house where everything in there was designed to kill.
I once dreamed about this girl, called Lilleth, who was an orphan.
>Living in dilapidated cottage in 1800s England.
>Father died when she was born, mother died several years ago.
>Enter Mary Poppins.
>Mary Poppins offers to bring Lilleth's mother back.
>Lilleth is really happy.
>Has to make a wish.
>Closes eyes and wishes that she can be with her mummy forever.
>Mary Poppin's tells her to open her eyes.
>Lilleth starts screaming.
>Mary Poppins reanimated the rotting corpse of the dead mother, which is now floating in front of this 7 year old child.
>"It's your mummy! Isn't this great?"
>Reanimated corpse starts to fuse with Lilleth while Mary Poppins reminds her that she was born for nothing and will spend eternity burning in hell with her whore mother.
I woke up making a noise that was somewhere halfway between laughing at Lilleth and screaming my lungs out.
tl;dr my brain put a jumpscare into an uplifting dream.
>>29723281
>tfw stay up so long you can see your dreems when you're awake
>Retail World of Warcraft (Sorry)
>Emerald Dream (RPPVP Realm)
That's pretty much all we have so far. Any other suggestions? I really want to fucking play World of Warcraft with Robots, just like we played Advance Wars, Terraria, Tabletop Simulator, etcetera.
>>29723183
will there be erp?
>you will never be a futa draenei busting nuts in night elf sluts
I play on Moon Guard
I'm actually leveling right now
Tons of ERP guilds here for the degenerates.
>>29723462
Sure, if you want. I'm playing as a Blood Elf Rogue, but I'm also playing for free, so I may start from scratch, or bite the bullet and pay for a couple months.
Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related is me
0/10 wrong board wrong image
>>29723169
Ah, yes. Simpler times..
>>29723169
People think it's all about misery and desperation and death and all that shit which is not to be ignored, but what they forget is the pleasure of it. Otherwise we wouldn't do it. After all, we're not fucking stupid. At least, we're not THAT fucking stupid.
