Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 689. page
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>Be a feminine looking shy guy in highschool
>Everyone mocks me and calls me a faggot
>Girls sometimes tease me because they think i am gay
>One day i decide to rat the assholes to the principle
>Tell him they mock me calling me a fag etc, he thinks i am actually a homo and a few people get expelled from school
>Everyone including my parents think i am 100% homosexual now
>I keep denying it but they just think i am ashamed
>Get to see a psychiatrist because i am a "repressed" homosexual
A few years later and everyone in my small town thinks that i am a repressed homosexuals. Women pity me and guys hit on me.
>>29719878
maybe you just give off that vibe op. sometimes it's posture, mannerism or speech patterns.
>>29719878
pay some hoes to walk with you in town, when you see someone you know just grab the hoe's butt, you don't even need to fuck that rotten meat
that will work for sure
>>29721383
Yeah this might work. Also consider getting a haircut.
>be in the shower and pooped a little by accident
>tfw I picked it up and ate it
So what was the most degenerate moments of your lives, arcanines?
Mine wasn't even that, it was whenit turned me on.
That's pretty bad desu, but there are probably some really bad stories. What did it taste like?
Shut up op
Your full of shit.
>>29719861
Internet was down in my neighborhood for a couple days because of a storm and I was dumb enough back in 10th grade not to save any "research". I was horny as fuck so what I did to solve it was go to the library after school when no one was there, go to a computer near a printer and where no teacher can just look up and see what I'm doing, and printed up pics off inflation porn.
I am now accepting applications to date me. They can be submitted to either of the following email addresses
[email protected]
[email protected]
I am:
>6'
>white
>blue eyes
>muscular
>educated
>employed
Please respond
Looks like somebody's pupper has separation anxiety. Mine does stuff like that when it starts to rain and thunder. I had to spend all the money my enablers gave me for christmas on sheetwood, lacquer, and bolts to make him a crate so he wouldn't hurt himself or destroy the house.
>>29719838
>be a a fat 40 year old manlet virgin neckbeard with a 2 inch chode
>cant find a date because i'm too fat and ugly
>post on r9k pretending I have chad traits
>tfw no girls go on r9k
>tfw i'm going to be lonely forever
>>29719838
>american doors.jpg
Buy a proper door that you can't punch through. Also, stop building wooden houses.
Who else here /krusty krab/
>have to make hamburgers all day
>boss underpays me
>tfw i'm a wagecuck
>>29719805
>tfw I laughed at this as a kid
>tfw this is my life now
>>29719805
spogengar, rawr >:(
Where do you work and how old are you? I worked at all these places..
-McDonald's
-KFC
-Pizza Hut
-Papa Johns
-Regina Pizzeria
-Starbucks
-A fancier version of Starbucks
-A few relatively nice restaurants, cooking burgers, pasta dishes, etc
ITT: things that terrified you as a kid
>Go to a Christmas pageant as a 4 year old
>they have these fucking things but even creepier looking
>bolt the fuck away and start crying my eyes out
>start having these vivid recurring nightmares as a 4 year old where these things would bend down and peer through my fucking window and watch me sleep
>would constantly wake up and run to my parents room while screaming "THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME"
The meatballs in spaghettios.
I used to look through my brothers D&D Monster Manual and I always thought the meatballs looked like Beholders.
>>29719794
King Ramses, The Man in Gauze. He's no Santa Claus.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p13yZAjhU0M
The wipeout laugh.
That fucking noise made me want to shit my pants as a kid.
Who is literally doomed by life here ?
>i always had a big forehead
>started balding 2 years ago
>this is how i look at 21
>yes bro be yourself, smoke weed dude lmaooo, everybody can get laid
>>29719792
shave your fucking head, problem solved. now stop whining faggot.
>>29719813
You're a fucking idiot. I would look even worse with a buzz cut, i have no jaw line, it's a fucking triangle. I am literally wearing a cap everyday.
>>29719792
You're a massive insecure pussy. Your current ahir looks fine. It may just stabalize. You may go bald. Whatever. Receding hair is normal for males.
>>29719813
Don't do that.
>ordered a medium pepperoni pizza with two orders of breadsticks.
JUST
on the edge of ordering something now desu
if no girl is even going to love me anyway why not get fat?
I'm not seeing many benefits to trying to remain thin besides slight self-confidence and it's not worth feeling hungry every day because my true self knows it should be a fat lardass
>>29719732
Damn! How many friends have you got over? That order could feed an african village, bro.
>>29719789
ebin flame-provoking post, bro
>21 years old
>already have career but go back to college part time for fun
>first week
>think this girl a few desks away keeps staring at me
>probably jelly of my coffee
>a week passes
>go to my coffee shop
>see same girl from corner of my eye sitting at table with laptop
>she bolts up when she sees me
>I pretend not to notice
>she lines up behind me then pokes me
>I turn around and she says we're in the same class
>introduce each other
>small talk
>she asks if I want to sit at the table and wait with her until class
>agree
>get along alright; lots of conversation though I felt uncomfortable a few times
>we go to class and sit together
>she and I are now inseparable
>months later she admits that she thought I looked interesting and wanted to get to know me so when she noticed my coffee cup, she decided she'd creep around that coffee shop and pretend to bump into me
Can you guess what happened next?
>>29719724
>Can you guess what happened next?
You continue to lie about your life on a Japanese image board?
Op woke up.
Original comment
>>29719748
This story doesn't have a happy ending, friend.
Lets share some stories from the psychiatric ward, I'll start:
>about 2 months ago
>heroin habit at its worst
>woke up that day sick and fiending hardcore
>doctors appointment that day as well
>mom and sister are out of the house running errands
>start looking around house to find something of value to pawn
>upon my searches I find a jar of $1 coins in moms room
>joyfuljunkie.jpg
>load up the coins and my gear into my car
>mom and sister pull up as im leaving
>"going to doctors mum I'll be back soon"
>driving down the road to my dealer
>phone rings, its mummy
>"ANON BRING MY COINS BACK OR IM CALLING THE COPS"
>apparently I left the empty jar on my desk like the retarded faggot I am
>go back to house, give mom the coins
>"anon that is so scummy wtf is wrong with you"
>explain that I dont care, I want to die and I hope I overdose today
>proceed to take my computer from my room to pawn in a final act of desperation
>mom and sister beg me to go to the doctor first, telling me how badly I need my sleep meds
>weird how they want me to go to the doctors so bad
>I decide to go to the doctors first, pawn shop after
>waiting in the doctors office for suspicious amount of time
>calm down in that time, realize how retarded I just acted
>doctor comes in looking angry
>"anon what going on, your family is calling me saying your going to hurt yourself"
>explain that I wasnt thinking clearly and said some things out of anger that I did not mean
>he asks if I want to hurt myself or anyone else
>no
>he leaves room again
>>29719703
Sorry for the wall of text, I'll try to shorten the rest of the story in hopes someone will read
>>29719703
>doctor comes back in after what felt like 2 hours
>violently pushes me to the ground
>it's a female doctor this time
>TIME FOR YOUR MEDS FAGGOT
>doctor rapes my anus
>got out a week ago
>officially clean and still anally devastated
pls continue, it's pretty interesting
Jaded, where are you.
>>29719702
I have come to ruin your thread
>>29719702
hello there...
Are you the anon form the other thread?
Apparently my trip has been banned until tomorrow
>Error: Ban evasion. Your original ban was for violating Global 3 - Garbage Outside of /b/, and expires on July 5th, 2016 at 09:45 ET.
That's alright I guess. I don't mind. I don't know how to prove to you I'm Jaded though
>>29719863
It's alright, I trust you, don't worry about it.
I don't even have the motivation to get a job, even for things like money. I'm satisfied with what I have and buying something would just mean it would end up on a pile with other useless junk. I also can't really get some joy out of anything, that's also the reason why I usually sleep, atleast it is a way to kill some time in a good way.
I also feel like never eating, which is the problem. Forcing myself is the hardest and I usually just end up feeling like puking. I thought that working out would help me with it, but it sadly didn't. I'm 6'7 and currently around 145lbs.
It's already 4pm here, which is pretty late for me, when do you usually go to sleep? I really like to wake up during the night because it is so quiet. Going really early to sleep to wake up during it is usually my sleeping schedule.
Why do normies steal our memes?
>>29719666
>666
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THIS ORGINAL COMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENT SYSTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEM
>>29719666
Nice trips Satan. Make sure to punish the normies in hell for culturally appropriating our memes.
>>29719666
nice trips
and because normies don't have time for creating memes. They are too busy being normies.
Has anyone noticed that girls with bigger tits are more confident? Unless they are fat, it seems like the bigger the tits the more confident a woman is. Why is that?
>>29719636
>Girls who look better are more confident
Wow holy shit bro
if men's dicks were on their chest, those with big bulges sticking out of their shirts would have the most confidence
not like little willy over there is gunna be walking large when it's clear to everyone he has poor genetics
>>29719645
>>29719657
Nailed it, this is a pointless thread, just post big tiddies already like I know you want to.
>mfw normies actually think humanity is any less barbarous than it was 1000 years ago and ACTUALLY believe things like war, intolerance, violence, etc, will be eradicated in the future
>>29719628
>mfw normies actually think humanity is any less barbarous than it was 1000 years ago
It is, at least in Europe
>>29719628
>posted from the Western world
>>29719648
Normie detected
Oreganooooopop
remembr to eahte anoon
make tum tum full, so yohu wont be kranki
>>29719609
Thanks mr food helper
Thank you, fellow anon. I nearly forgot.
My body needs fuel to burn in its big powerhouse, so it can move all these muscles.
put pissa helpings in the ooven just yees guud fuud
Is a pretty face enough to be chad or do i need to work out?
Pretty face and charisma will get you everything you need in life.
Gym is only an option if you need to make up for an ugly face.
You don't need to work out as long as you're not fat. If you're chub, you can always starve yourself for a few weeks.
>>29719654
>If you're chub, you can always starve yourself for a few weeks.
>skinnyfat 101
![lloyd[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/MHDELTe.jpg "lloyd[1]")
