Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 691. page
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so a girl is coming over the next day
How should i act? Should i hide my anime wallpaper?
>>29718944
i'd take the wallpaper down, and just don't act like a sperg.
>>29718956
she likes me because of this
I was once drunk and told her i am goodamn KHV sperg
she hangs out with me since
>>29718944
Hide anime wallpaper
download bunch of EDM song
act like a jerk fag
this should work
I jerked of onto a ouija board and a ghost gave me a handie later that night but then she got all clingy and I told her i was gay and experimenting
I've heard of people making tulpa gfs but it just seems weird and probably isn't a good idea in the long run.
>Summon tulpa gf
>She leaves me for chad
>>29718934
This seems like a good idea. I will look into summoning demons and spirits. Hope one of them might be willing to have some kinky supernatrual sex
>you were born too early to die in the war for space colonization
Can we get a rare feels thread, none of the standard boring stuff
> tfw you won't live in an post apocalyptic world with your robot protector and a qt gf
>you'll never be a mech pilot fighting for an independent mars against an oppressive earth government
>tfw you will never live on an 1200 acre plot herding cattle
>be me a few years ago
>seeing this guy with mommy issues
>uses anime lingo and makes retarded squeaky noises
>make it clear to him that I'm not interested in sex
>one day we're both at a friend's house
>he takes me to a room alone while smiling and making retarded squeaking noises
>I once again tell him no sex
>he still tries. gets naked anyway
>his naked chubby legs almost make me vomit
>pencil dick
>I try to just cuddle him and be nice but he keeps demanding sex
>threatens me that he's going home (lol)
>I refuse
>starts crying in front of me
>telling me he loves me
>even mentions his mom
why do people this pathetic exist? is this what most of you women haters are actually like?
>>29718841
>I try to just cuddle him and be nice
>cuddling naked men and saying you don't want sex
>>29718857
I'm very selective with my partners, I'm not gonna sacrifice my low number for some weaboo with a small dick
the cuddling didn't happen anyway cause he kept getting angry at me for not fucking
>>29718964
Roastie getting mad toastie.
>Punching and hitting myself in the head a few days ago
>Teeth and jaw won't stop hurting
That's the price you pay for autism, OP.
>>29718824
>tfw I smack myself or bang my head against the wall repeatedly
>tfw I'm pretty sure I got a minor concussion once
I never did this kind of stuff as a kid, why is this happening to me now?
>>29718870
It's called tourettes my friend.
What do normies do when they walk past each other?
>>29718822
They briefly discuss the latest planes to make life worse for us robots.
telepathically conspire to purge all autists
Use subtle gesturing in order to discuss robot job applicant names and deny them
I know this sounds petty but I am genuinely bothered by the fact that during my lifetime, the chances of Paul Nutall picking up a glass from my head are basically nil. Just look at this picture and imagine the shear banter they must be having. I tried to balance a glass on my head earlier like I was Nige and waited for Paul Nutall to come pick it up but it fucking just spilled over me. I can't cope.
Nigel Farage is pure fucking gold. I don't know anything about Brit political systems but is there any way for him to run for PM now that Cameron stepped down?
I've been binge watching this guy wreck the EU Parliament all of yesterday and I just can't get enough.
>>29718836
Nigel stepped down this morning saying that hes done what he wanted to do, however there has been speculation that he has been offered a cabinet job with the conservative party.
>>29718836
It's about as likely as Gary Johnson becoming president. In fact less likely now because he just stepped down as party leader
>i will never be a roman
>i will never have wacky adventures with my roman bro
>>29718803
You'd probably just be a slave
>you will never be a nouveau rich Roman
>you will never live a life of pure degeneracy in the later times of the empire
>you will never fuck your cute girl (male) servant in the boipussy every day
>you will never shitpost on the city wall
>Tfw no daily homosexual orgies with other Romanbros
who was the most autistic person you've met in your school life?
heres mine
>be around 5 years younger me
>australian, go into 7th grade (which is high school in australia, at least in the state I live in)
>talking to a friend who was in y6 while i was in y5, so im glad to talk to him because i hadn't seen him in a year
>we talked about music and other cool shit
>he has to go, but tells me something before he leaves
>"oh also, don't become friends with barney, dudes fucking weird"
>have no fucking idea who barney is, but thank him and start to take caution
>term 2
>walking upstairs because my maths classroom was upstairs
>oh god what the fuck is that stench
>smells like a mixture of expired milk and a rotten roadkilled cats asshole
>very short kid walks past me, pretty obvious its where the stench is coming from
>he has a large bulge sticking through the ass side of his pants, either from him shitting himself or because he's wearing a diaper
>goes up to a group of really popular girls with this retarded shiteating grin on his face
>i already know what the result is gonna be but i decide to torture myself enough to look at what happens anyways
>he literally says this in the fucking voice of Goofy ( the disney character)
>"HUEHUEHUE HI GIRLS WANNA BE BUDS?!?"
>he says all of that while doing this retarded head bobbing motion
>all the fucking girls bolt in the opposite direction
>cant think about it without cringing
i really struggled to write all of that
>>29718738
jesus christ anon.
oc pizza
>work at the disabilities department at university
>obnoxious, tubby autistic guy hangs around there all the time
>openly farts around people
>asked one of the female interns if she ever had sex
>if you have a conversation with him about something that isn't anime or video games, he starts to moan and groan and shake his head around in annoyance
Not the worst but I always wanted to punch the shit out of that guy.
>>29718772
i know, its terrible.
he shit his pants A LOT. he actually didnt pass year 10 (the school had a rule that if you got more than 5 E's (essentially the australian "F") on assignments or tests you wouldn't pass year 10) because he would shit his pants during tests all the time, i dunno if it's true or not, i'm just vaguely recalling rumours that were spread around.
https://www.dubtrack.fm/join/r9k-the-musical
Are you lonely? Are you brooding over the planar hell you endure? Are you loathing beyond the sparkle specked horizon? Queue some music and chat. Inquire inside.
imminent
b a n
HEY
Been tryyyiin to meetcha
MMMMMMMM
normie room
dont go in
I just want to get away and live a simple wholesome life
I'm done with the unnecessary static noise
>>29718678
Enjoy dying in the wilderness
>>29718678
Same, are you also moving to the woods?
>>29718678
Bigger invest in bitcoin
To hack log in to fb
I don't understand why anyone would genuinely be worried if the end of humanity is actually upon us
What's the big deal, everyone would be dead and so what ? who cares ? obviously this was meant to happen, it's not like anyones going to shake their head in disappointment post fucking apocalypse?
Wtf are your thoughts robos?
pic unrelated, kate upton from fappening
>>29718627
JESUS wants your semen for breakfast in heaven.
This is something to look forward to.
The BALLS of GOD will slap gently upon your chin forever.
Amen.
post more kate upton pics
Theirs a whole folder of just sexy kate upton pics, pretty sure you can download them online. google the fappening>>29718753
Prepare to fireFire
CQC moving in
I'M PINNED DOWN! NORMIE SECOND FLOOR!
pew! pew! eat pulsriflefire spacemarine!
>>29718599
Laying down covering fire!! *Bang bang pew pew bbabababang*
chads from the north incoming!!
>tfw no profligate bf
>>29718584
what the fuck is a profligate?
what are you a shitty roman heretic
>>29718584
What about a rapist bf? Would you like to have one of those?
>>29718584
Thanks, Doc.
I'm utterly and shamelessly immoral and dissipated.
Lately I've been feeling really bad, constant crying and finally realized I should get help. Anyone have any experience with these guys? I think that maybe I would have false expectations for a psychologist to magically help me overcome sadness.
I've heard it said that not all of them are terrible.
I have yet to met one who wasn't at least a bit shit though.
The clincher is a psychologist can't make you do anything against your will; they can convince you to try, but you may have to "let" them, which sorta works, but also sorta doesn't, especially when you just end up rolling your eyes and going along with whatever they suggest as a form of lip-service whilst subconsciously chanting the mantra "This is stupid This is stupid This is stupid This is stupid This is stupid This is stupid This is stupid This is stupid"
>>29718543
I like them, they gave me meds that fixed me
>>29718543
Well, I have been in contact with them for the past year and a half and it has helped me a bit.
The biggest benefit was getting an actual diagnosis for my problems and they helped me get into some special school that focusses on IT because I have autism.
I had many talks, which did shed some light on the whole situation and things I can do to improve myself but overall the talks itself don't bring much change and since there is no cure I was told that the best thing I can do is learn to adept as best as possible, talking about possible solutions help a bit but not as much as I would like to.
Anyway, healthcare at least kept it affordable.
