Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2623. page
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Can someone please photoshop a nice haircut on my picture - I'm trying to decide how to grow my hair out. Thanks.
>>28730397
You look like a lesbian or a FtM tranny
>>28730397
sorry im pretty bad at this
this one is with long hair
You find a magic lamp with a genie that will grant you any one wish. What do you wish for?She'll accept your wish for a million wishes, but you won't be able to use any one them because she'll only GRANT you one. Checkmate atheists.
>>28730375
Marry exgf
>I wish for immortality
>I wish for immortality 1
>I wish for immortality 2
...
>I wish for immortality 999,999
Checkmate.
I wish for the genie to grant me a million wishes.
Checkmate op
Why aren't you fucking a fat chick right now?
>>28730352
Because they're awful in bed, clumsy, and usually smell godawful.
>>28730352
Because it's not that great.
>>28730352
Because I have standards
orrigginal
Our consciousness is just a passenger, an observer on a ride we can't control. I believe we don't have free will
I want off this ride
We have to shut this ride down sooner or later
#shutdownride
SDNE REVEN EDIR EHT
>tfw not INTP genius
>not INTJ mastermind or INFP dreaming individualist
only a shitty INFJ how can i be a better person r9k
>>28730251
>tfw INFP/ENFP
>mfw
All feels, all the time
>>28730251
>tfw you are the leader personality, ENTJ
>no friends so i have no one to lead
why am i alive again?
>tfw ESTJ
Feels good, man
Okay robots, who's mother did I eavesdrop on earlier?
>go to the store
>choosing cereal when I hear some moms talking
>"oh hey Debra, how's your son doing? "
>"he's good, still living at home with me"
>"oh isn't he moving out soon? how old is he now?"
>"27"
>Debra has the most defeated look on her face
>follow her around a little and sees that she buys 3 boxes of Hot Pockets
Pic related is pretty close to her face when she realized how much of a failure her son is
>>28730223
Fuckin lol. My cousin is living with my mother and and she has a hard time because the dude bought a brand new mustang and doesnt help pay the bills at all. Its like 350 a month just for the car. Dudes like 36. At least he mows the lawn for her so I dont have to drive 30 mins to her house and mow a 1/4 acre
Should have tried to fuck her, could have been some r9k users step daddy for a day
Tfw when my mom is named debra and i ate hot pockets a few days ago
>tfw ding-a-ling is tiny when soft
>tfw can't use public urinals
>tfw pokes against the edge of my pants because not long enough to go down leg
> tfw every time I stand up people know I have a small wee-wee
Anyone else know this feel?
>>28730193
Somehow mine is like half an inch long when soft even though it can hit six or so when fully hard.
>>28730193
>Anyone else know this feel?
I do. My dick is really tiny when it's soft. It gets surprisingly big though.
dude how did you get a picture of my dick do you work for the nsa
Are these the robot's cereal?
Pebbles is Fred's daughter.
>>28730219
Thats nice desu
i will never forget... the fragrance of fruity pebbles
I'm the biggest asshole. I feel awful.
>uni
>someone i know dad died
>the kid is/was always very nice to me
>talking to someone
>being edgy
>in large room
>friend says "did you die on the game?"
>i said "yeah I died like X's dad"
>started laughing
>X was right next to me
>he hears
>my heart drops
>I awkwardly try to play it off
I feel like such an asshole
Bruh that shit isn't even funny da fuck nigga
why didn't you apologize you fucking dummy
>>28730048
I was in a similar situation.
>the kid (Jon) had a brother who became paralyzed from a car accident
>walking next to big breasted femlet
>see jon jumping off of the first balcony trying to do sum sik parkour moves
>make a comment along the lines of "he better be careful, he doesn't need another cripple in the family"
>I guess the bitch thought it was the funniest thing in the world
>she starts telling people the joke I made, somehow it gets back to Jon
>gets all sad when he sees me
>me: hey Jon, what's up bud
>Jon: heh, h-hey
>then he just walked off with his head down
Felt like shit, but in my defense he was acting like a reckless sperg.
Robots, whatever you fucking do, do not join the military. Holy fuck what cunts everyone is, especially the women.
>>28730032
Hey friend. Im in the AF right now. Currently deployed in the sand and it's not that bad. The trick is to not be a fag. Carry on.
>choosing an MOS open to women
>>28730084
Every MOS is open to women now except for 18 series
this is a thread for cute boys and cute boy admirers!
talk about your ideal partner, post pics, and do other cute boy things!
im a cute boy whos currently accepting bf/gf applications, email me [email protected]
>tfw not cute enough for anyone with standards
>tfw trying to improve but it will probably be useless because of your awful, awful waist
my ideal partner would be the one i could trust and feel at peace with.
Who /FailedNormie/ here?
I am above average looking, not fat, appear charasmatic and normal, but I only have one or two people I'd consider actual friends that I can actually talk to without putting on a facade. I have no interests or hobbies. I wake up. I go on my computer. I go on 4chan. Then when I have a uni assignment due that day, I do it. That's been my life now. If a girl actually gives me the time of day I go super autistic and message her constantly until I scare her off. I have the means to do something with my life but absolutely no motivation to. All I want to do is smoke weed to forget about the fact that I want to fucking die. Who else is in the same boat as me?
>>28730021
Almost the same as you.
Not autismo with girls. Don't do drugs. Have three "real" friends. I play video games too not just 4chan
Life sucks in lebanon. Girls are either goblins or supermodels. Can't relate to either.
I love you bro. I wish you didn't have to live this in-between life. Only reason I'm alive is because I'm afraid of hell.
>>28730021
ITS SO FUCKING DARK IN HERE
COME COME FUCK APART IN HERE
>>28730120
Yeah I used to be afraid of hell. The deeper I dug into philosophy and theology made me realise there's nothing to be scared of. I don't want to kill myself because of my brother
>High school student, 15, is caught on Snapchat having sex with 25 boys in campus restroom
why are white girls such whores? (pic related)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3600521/High-school-girl-caught-camera-having-sex-multiple-boys-girls-bathroom-campus-school-hours.html
>this and I'm still a virgin
>no PTP
>
fucking kill me
white women are filth.
how old were you when you realized brown/tanned women are vastly superior?
>>28730015
Is this a fucking joke? Investigation? Shocking? Grow the fuck up. People have sex. So the 15 year old consented to sex with 25 guys. She's a slut. The only problem was that it was done in school. Why do they feel bad for the slut? Nobody forced her.
Jesus.
Clearly she was the culprit here and yet they're making the horny dudes look worse. The guys are fucking retarded and the girl is a whore.
http://m.liveleak.com/view?i=570_1463784934
What did you eat today robots?
>apple
>orange
>strawberries
>burrito
>chicken soup
>ice cream
>handfull of chips
>>28730003
Breakfast I had couple of pieces of chicken and wheat bread with peanut butter
dinner was a piece of chicken breast with spicy seasoning and a baked potatoe.
I also work overnights and don't eat anything until I get home for breakfast, than sleep til dinner and than chill before work. So I only eat 2 meals.
shared a can of tuna and some water with my cat earlier and just had pic related for lunch.
McDonalds, fish & chips and KFC.
Guess my weight.
as a person living in Canada, what's the fastest way to kill myself
No bitch options like pills and what not
>pic unrelated
If you're white just go out into the street.
>>28729945
I did today, what next
>>28729945
Isn't Canada one of the safest places in the world?
