Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1125. page
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>ITT post stupid and autistic stuff you did or thought when you were kids
I'll start:
>masturbating in public
>used to think that I will get a girlfriend if I pray enough
>back at kindergarden i found a needle and sticked it in a girl's back for no actual reason
>was at relatives and the bathroom was occupied so i pooped on the floor
I used to masturbate daily while sitting by grinding my dick between my ass and my hand on the seat which gave me a downwards curved dick that I don't think will be able to penetrate a woman comfortably
I used to masturbate in public toilets a lot. Now I don't even feel the need to do so anymore.
>>29528053
>masturbate
>IN PUBLIC TOILETS
You sir are the absolute madman
So, penis extenders really works.
One study: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/03/090305080516.htm
Wikipedia: Traction is a nonsurgical method to lengthen the penis is by employing devices that pull at the glans of the penis for extended periods of time. As of 2013, the majority of research investigates the use of penile traction focuses on treating the curvature and shrinkage of the penis as a result of Peyronie's disease, although some literature exists on the impact on men with short penises [12]
Traction as a penis-enlargement method stems from the observation that issues under continuous tension will undergo cellular multiplication. The result is tissue expansion, resulting in a permanent increase of the tissue.
I don't even have small penis (7"), but I'm going to buy this shit right now.
>No significant increase in penile girth, which averaged 10.4cm (4.09 inches) at baseline, was reported.
>High satisfaction levels were reported in all categories except penile girth.
>Flaccid penile length scored 2.31 on a scale of zero to three, where three represents significant improvement. Penile length during erection scored 2.37 out of three and sex life 2.3. Penile girth scored 1.1.
It's fucking useless. Enjoy your noodle dicks.
First it was all about length
>If you're over 6" you're fine!
tfw I'm5"
Then they switched to girth!
>Girth is more important! If you're at least 5" you're fine!
tfw I'm4"
I'm eagerly awaiting my wizard status. Just mere 2 years to go!
>treating the curvature
sounds like a mistake unless it's extremely curved
>32% increase
So I could have an 8 and a half incher if used this?
>chad makes a joke
>its not funny
>its not even meant to be funny
>its just a random off handed comment
>all the normies die laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world
>you try to do the same thing
>everyone is dead silent
>the best you can hope for is no-one thought you were trying to make a joke
>all the normies die laughing like it's the funniest thing in the world
This really pisses me off. Fucking sheep.
Sense of humor is just social skills and looks. Oh and also social skills are pretty much just looks. So once again, looks determine something completely. Welcome to life.
Now remember to hate Chad and anyone superior to you.
You have no idea anon.
It pisses me off senpai. I can get people to laugh with seemingly unfunny actions myself though, and not in a way they're laughing at me.
Whoa anon, you left your room, that's great
>>29527860
I was just... out of tissues...
I-I didn't mean too, sorry.
>>29527860
nice titzits, I know what's up with the dress
nice rolls, try cutting out sugar
any early birds here? how do you do it? i want to be one of those people who wakes up at 6.
they generally have something worth getting up for
I have fuvked up my sleep pattern to the point of waking back up at normal times now. Feels good not waking up to depressing darkness.
>>29527840
I have to go to work at 4 or 5 am every morning, so I'm up at 3 or 4 every day. Go to bed around 9PM every night, sometimes earlier. The key is consistency. At first I fucking hated life because all my life I've stayed up all night and slept all day, but after a couple of weeks it started to feel great. Now I feel like utter fucking garbage if I stay up late, and automatically wake up pretty early. Get a lot more done during the day, too.
==/depression&suicide/ central== post pictures and songs related, no positive garbage allowed here.
Nothing is original
>>29527814
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXuvbDdjeh8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1n45LA0OBg
so there's only normies today?
Lets see how long this stays up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsnG3zOCxdk&feature=youtu.be
>>29527799
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=32&v=AtaBcwiQAPY
There are loads of porn on youtube, you don't even need to look.
>breastfeeding tutorials
>vagina shaving tutorials
>rap music videos
>nude video game scenes
>footage from a nude beach
>the movie "Caligula" (which is 2 hours of overglorified porn with an artsy plot and some rape)
>>29527799
There's a lot of videos of hot guys showing how to put on condoms.
I'm sure no one is watching it for educational purposes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P6nfhPSvng
>them thighs
How did you react when that weird kid from school tried to befriend you?
Told him to fuck off because he is weird and I don't hang out with people like him.
I either acted nice and civil if he was a legit autist and i would get yelled at for being mean to a handicapped person, or if he was just weird or i didnt like him i would be an asshole who would tell him to fuck off.
Im not a good person desu
>>29527668
>implying most robots weren't that kid
>be at a family party
>youngest sibling of 4
>can't relate to anyone at the party
>isolate myself on a balcony
>7yo daughter of some invitee comes out to talk to me
>spend an hour talking to her about adulthood, math, and how the body is made of cells
>tfw she's actually interested and curious
>tfw actual pleasant conversation
>tfw the most relatable person at the party is a kid
Her mother came and took her away. Now I'm back to my solitude on the balcony.
Who else here can't relate to normies their age?
bump
mootblox
most robots probably make friends outside their age group. I used to talk to yard duties at break. then I get older and have friends younger than me.
Its because you can obviously take the alpha role in the situation
In every other situation you are inferior and not to be heard
I feel it every day
Anyone have the female version of pic related? I'll share some rare feels (or "Wojaks" as the kids call them) in the meantime.
Feel History Month
I have like 200 pics in my feels folder.
women have no feels.
>you will never Save Elsa from making a life long bad decision
you do realize that you just want her for yourself, right?
there's no evidence, that I know of at least, that she is unhappy doing porn.
>>29527566
Don't try to claim porn doesn't do bad stuff to girls, this is /r9k/, anything sexual related that includes a guy that is not themselves is deemed unworthy.
Elsa is a literal retard. Look at her social media presences for proof. She is happy and stupid, like a child. She doesn't need to be saved and there is nothing about her that any sane robot should be drawn to.
>tfw im having breakdowns and crying and cutting cuz i know im a monster and im going to die alone
>tfw i come back on here so the memes will bring back my fuck the world attitude and keep me going for another day
>cutting
>attentionwhoring
Woman detected.
Please be my gf
>tfw i come back on here so the memes will bring back my fuck the world attitude and keep me going for another day
same. as long as we tell ourselves it's all one big kek it makes it a little more bearable.
>>29527511
have a nice video to cheer up, friend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5Ub55qx2wQ
>Mother, 42, is killed by police after shooting dead her two daughters, aged 22 and 17, in 'family dispute' that spilled onto a residential street in Texas
>Police received multiple calls and arrived to find Taylor Sheats, 22, and Madison Sheats, 17, lying in the street
>Mother Christy Sheats refused to drop her pistol and was killed by a Fulshear, Texas, police officer
>Madison was dead on the scene, and Taylor died in hospital after she was airlifted in critical condition
>Sheriff said shots were fired after a family dispute; investigation is ongoing
>Authorities have previously been called to the home but it's not known why
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3659694/Mother-42-killed-police-fatally-shot-two-daughters-aged-22-17-family-dispute-spilled-residential-street-Houston.html
Imagine the riots the US media would incite if it had been a family of naggers
>>29527546
>Implying the country wouldn't go crazy if she was killed by a black officer.
>>29527546
Niggers kill niggers every single day in this country; nig-on-nig makes up the vast majority of violent crime.
Do you ever think about how much cum the average cutie has swallowed?
Must be at least several gallons, right?
Every cell in her body is probably partially composed of the very same molecules that were once part of Chad's load.
>>29527508
True of everything you eat. We're all part cow, pig, raccoon (if you eat hot dogs and the like), etc.
>>29527446
If she stills blows me, then no. No jealousy.
>>29527446
I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years, she was a virgin when we met and she's tiny and tight as fuck so she prefers to blow me, I've gotten approximately 250 blow jobs so that's like .6 of a gallon
Confidence is easy
Insecurities are what kills
Being insecure is rational if you actually have things to be insecure about.
>>29527441
Yeah no shit.
Now how do you get rid of them is the question.
>>29527441
>nothing to be confident about
>nothing to be insecure about
wake me up (cant wake up)
![$_57[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/rWn0Fw8.jpg "$ 57[1]")
