Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7407. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7407. page
NORMIES THINK I'M INSANE BECAUSE I'M FROWNING ALL THE TIME
Same. The corners of my mouth just naturally form a frown in their resting state.
>>25124038
ALL DAY LONG I THINK OF THINGS BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO SATISFY
>>25124038
MY NAME IS LUCIFER
PLEASE TAKE MY HAND
What a great crowd tonight! How's everyone doing?
Me? I'm doing great. How could I not? The life of a femNEET is the best life you can live!
If reincarnation exists, just set my soul to autorenew for femNEET every time! We got any NEET boys in the audience? Good, I need some new orbiters to spend their neetbux on my lavish lifestyle! But don't think you'll get this PUSS-AYYYYY!
Don't think I forgot about you, wagefellas.
Wanna go get dinner? I'm paying. Well, I'm not paying, my neetbeta's mom is technically doing the paying. I promise him the occasion hug and "I really like you" and he's shelling all his allowance to me!
Save your money, wagechad. Spend it on condoms and wet wipes (for when you cum on my face!) Although recently one of my neetbeta orbiters cut me off. Well, cut himself off. I rejected him and he slit his wrists! I know, right?!?
Anyway, that's my time. Wagechads, call me! Neetbetas spoil me! Wagefems, don't worry, I'll keep your bf busy while you're at work... us femNEETs have the freedom to do that! And SOOOO MUCH MORE! Goodnight everyone!
WAITER MORE WINE PLEASE
>"BOO GET THAT ROASTIE OFF THE STAGE, WE WANT TO SEE REAL NEETs!"
>>25124006
>implying you're anything else than a roastie AND a chestlet
If you were anything else you'd be on your knees sucking Chad's thundercock.
Too bad he doesn't want you.
>look out your window
>see this
What do?
>>25123930
Quickly hide all the juice.
Join the Wehrmacht
>>25123960
Acceptable answer, not siding with the cause should lead to extermination
Good morning wageslave #2359104852, just a friendly reminder from [CORPORATION NAME HERE] that your designated time off is coming to an end. Please spend it wisely as you have a great week of work coming up and we wouldnt like to see you come in late! Remember if you show great work and attitude we will reward you with a christmas bonus!* *Taxes and fees still apply. Monetary rewards are under company fixed fees. Rewards are not mandatory.
Who /bravenewworld/ here?
tfw actually enjoy job
>>25124476
what do you work as?
original commentttttttt
>finally, a girl is interested in me
>she's a typical "I'm deep because i used to cut myself across the wrist and my parents don't love each other" whore with a mediocre tattoo and takes anti-depressive medication
Is this shit even worth it?
What, do you think women are capable of having good or interesting personalities?
Do you seriously think there's much better out there? That's pretty much all of them.
>shes a progressive" because she sheepishly follows the trends of media tastemakers and fears having an opinion that isn't kosher
Iktf, the only girls I ever seem to attract are batshit crazy. They always end up getting bored of you and only being interested in themselves in the end so it's not even worth pretending to care about them.
>black
>manlet
>no bbc
>introvert
>no hops
>cant dance
>not funny
>iq only the average for whites
>cant rap
You should become a sandwich artist senpai.
>>25123554
Do you think your life was harder than normally because you're black
Also what do you think of white people
Stop breathing the white man's air.
>tfw browsing /r9k/
/r9k/ - meta discussion
alot more trap threads lately ?
>filter all profanity and stale memes
>browsing quality improves dramatically
thinking about figuring out how to hide images too
>tfw I got banned for telling roasties to get out
I was telling "fembot" attention whores to stop making "fembot feels" threads, and I got banned for it.
This board has gone to shit.
>>25123376
>there are two fembot feels threads with tripfagging girls on the front page RIGHT NOW
>I can't say anything about it or I will be banned
I won't lie, this makes me irrationally angry.
>ask girl out that you know
>"sorry I don't want to ruin our friendship"
>ask girl out you don't know
>"umm I don't even know you so no??"
HOW THE FUCK ARE/WERE YOU MEANT TO DO THIS? IF YOU KNOW THEM, THERE'S NO CHANCE, IF YOU DON'T, THERE'S NO CHANCE EITHER.
They're coming up with excuses on why they don't want to date you because they are only interested in chad.
>get drunk with oneitis one night
>she jams her tounge down my throat
>decide not to take advantage of her while drunk because I didn't want to be that guy
>confess feelings the next day
>she freaks out and complains to our mutual friend that she hates when male friends get feelings for her and she can't handle it
This was actually right after I gave up on anything happening between us. I didn't want to take advantage of her and ruin our friendship since I liked hanging out with her but I dropped that bitch so fast after that and I still looked like the bad guy. No winning senpai. At least I'm just a hv instead of a khv.
I also heard the boyfriend she got a few months after hated me because she had feelings for me or something.
>>25123308
>asked a girl out in college that I knew
>"sure, let's go out"
>asked a girl out a few years later that I didn't know
>"sure, let's go out"
I'm not sure I see the problem, OP!
Why do normies get so agressive when you say you will only date a virgin? I want to wait until the right person, what's the big deal with only wanting a girl who's waiting too. They get all defensive and go from acting like I'm a nice guy to treating me like I just murdered a puppy.
>>25123285
Because, and I'm just playing the devil's advocate here, it doesn't make sense that a loser virgin has such high standards. Also saying you'll only date a virgin implies there is something wrong with "hook up culture" which dominates the normies social environment.
Also it's kind of a creepy thing to say.
>>25123285
>waiting too
ah right right right
Idk there's no reason a virgin girl would want you when you're so undesirable tbqh
Watching roasties getting blackmailed is the only reason I haven't killed myself. How do you like that cunts? I guess feminism can't save you now
Gib key plz
I loved trollan camwhores. Best days spent on this board. But I just hate camwhores and /soc/ refuse, idc if girls post here :^))
Someone have a mirror? Shit got deleted!
>you choose to be sad and depressed, it is a choice
>>25122989
Would really like to have Wojak version of that, not normie-frog.
> Oh, gosh! You're just not trying hard enough!
>Just be happy instead man :)
Who else here has unironically been given this "advice" when trying to open up to people
Why can't I have a normally functioning brain, and why can't I have a normal social life?
>>25122875
>Why can't I have a normally functioning brain
Because you lost genetic lottery, mate.
>why can't I have a normal social life
See 1 question.
And yes, I know how you feel.
>given one chance at life
>born with shitty genes
Why even try?
>>25122923
You given no one chance then.
I bet you thought, in the weeks and days and minutes before you hung yourself, about how sad we'd all be. About how we'd all be thinking about what more we could have done to keep you here. Guess what, Nick. You were wrong.
The night you died, we gathered at the apartment you shared with Melanie, and drank in celebration. Toasted to your memory, but not to you. Not to the person you really were. We drank to the memory of "Nick," the person we knew before you really became you.
We talked about our memories of all the good times we had with you before you changed. The nights spent drinking in food courts, knocking over trash cans in your Jeep, blissing out on acid to Aphex Twin.
We talked about pretty much every moment that predated the moment when your face sunk in, and you stopped laughing, and every brunch and party and gathering became a struggle to accommodate you. Or rather, the person you became.
How could you be so fucking selfish? To think we would sacrifice our own happiness to join you in the depths of your ugly, hateful problem. You became so angry, and bitter, and self-absorbed, that even someone else's birthday party had to become about you, and your stupid fucking disease. My birthday party, in fact. You ruined my 21st birthday with your narcissistic bullshit, Nick. An ambulance called to the bar, that I ended up paying for. You worthless piece of shit.
In a way, I guess I am a little bit upset that you died. Because I feel like you owe me part of my life back. The 4 years that were consumed with talking about you, and worrying about you. I never got that back from you. I never got back the money I loaned you, and the time I spent by your side while you vomited and wept. And now I never will.
But, to be honest, that little vengeful impulse is nothing compared to the wave of relief I felt when Melanie texted me that she had found you, blue and bloated, in the attic of the apartment the two of you shared. Do you know how much you hurt her? Do you know how much she suffered for you, hoping you would get better, rejecting other men who were healthy, and had some fucking willpower?
Do you know that for the last 4 months of your life, on a regular basis, I was fucking Melanie's throat in the moments when you were comatose, breathing heavily, with your body straining just to stay alive? After we put you to sleep on the sofa, with chicken soup and a blanket, shaking and weeping and begging us to stay with you?
Were you ever awakened, some Sunday morning, shaken from your stupor on the couch, just for a moment, by the sound of her in the bed that you shared, choking on my cock? Was that why you did this? If so, I'm glad. And proud.
Melanie sent me a Snapchat of your body before she called the cops. I bet you thought you would look cool, like you went out with style. Nope. Your pants were leaking shit and piss, and your tongue was sticking out, just this greyish purple protrusion, and your eyes were bugged out and bloodshot. And most importantly, your fingers were dug into the noose.
Even in that last moment, after you finally made a good decision, you went back on it. Because you wanted more. More support, more love, more time. Time to sap off our life energy, to demand our acknowledgment, to attach yourself like a parasite to happiness you didn't earn.
You always craved our attention. The leukemia was like a blessing to you. I could see it in the way you smiled. You loved every minute you spent in that hospital bed, surrounded in flowers, and out in public with us propping you up. You even loved vomiting in front of us, Nick. You would look me right in the eye while you did it.
You consumed our pity like you thought it would heal you. Honestly, I was surprised when you rejected that fourth round of chemotherapy. I felt sure you would stick around forever, haunting us. Like a goddamn ghost. A pale, sickly thing, consuming every free moment with his needy fucking needs.
But now you're gone. And guess what? You don't haunt me at all. It's been a week since you strung yourself up from the rafters, and this is the first time I've thought of you since the day it happened. Today I woke up, made coffee, and went through my phone. I deleted your number, and all the pictures of you that I felt obligated to take, and the long, idiotic messages you sent me, when you were freaking out about the possibility of your death. And it felt good, sitting on my porch, scrolling through and erasing you. It felt cleansing.
You know the funny thing? When I think of you, I still think of the Nick I met on the playground in 4th grade, piling up woodchips so you could kick them over. I refuse to remember you as the weak husk of a person you were when you died.
Melanie and I look through your Facebook pictures together sometimes, in bed, but we stick to the ones before you got sick. So many good memories that we shared. Before it became all about you, and your selfish, stupid illness. I'm glad you're dead, because now, I realize that you were dead to me long ago.
I just made this sick flowchart and I want to know if I missed anything.
Note:
For our purposes, smelling bad counts as a physical defect.
Issues with an ex count toward "emotional baggage".
The item "Are you insecure enough to have made this flowchart?" has been omitted.
This contains semi-humorous language but is not intended to be satire.
Seems pretty solid lad.
ple respond 0896968775876437
>>25122851
thanks for the feedback m8
I'm missing most of the required items at the moment.
What is your favourite part of 'My Twisted World'
Mine is where he first goes to a shooting range, and starts to accept the possibility that the day of retribution may one day occur, although the chance of it happening is only 5% or so.
i like it when he fills the supersoaker with orange juice and hoses down some roasties
my favourite part is where he kills the normies
>>25122738
>>25122786
OP actually happens about a week after the super soaker incident
![1429508416023[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/TnQOrho.png "1429508416023[1]")
