Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7409. page
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Happy Birthday...to me.
Happy Birthday...to me.
>>25121350
From good friends and true,
From old friends and new,
May good luck go with you,
And happiness too.
Happy Birthday... to me.
>>25121350
Happy Birthday to you, fellow robot. How old are you? Talk a bit about yourself.
Can you like, die already?
No one cares
Soon you'll end up paralyzed because stacy is behind the wheel.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3366958/Dutch-instructors-barter-tuition-sex.html?ito=social-facebook
"Degeneracy isn't real" they said.
"Go back to /pol/" they said.
I look forward to Islam putting an end to Western decadence. We deserve it at this point.
Allahu akbar.
NETHERLANDS YES
I can't believe that's real.
/r9k/ was right /r9k/ is always right
Hey guys, I haven't been on this forum since Spring, so it's nice to be back (however brief it will be). Basically, I went to a Christmas prom last night. It was a disaster.
>Be me
>18 years old
>Bit fat, but well proportioned
>Never had a girlfriend
>In a small friend group (about 12 people)
>3 guys, rest girls
>Only one who is not in a relationship of some kind
>Really like this particular girl in the group
>We get on so well, like the chemistry between us is so great. It's effortless
>Few weeks before Christmas ball
>Me and her are alone in the 'sixth form lounge'
>We start talking about prom
>She is hinting that she'd like to go with me
>I ask her to be my date
>She says yes
>Unbelievably happy, I couldn't wipe the grin off my face for like a week
>I had never been so happy in my life, like I genuinely thought to myself "wow, looks like things are finally starting to pick up for me"
>Extremely excited for prom
>Fast forward to the night
>I go to her house, all nervous and shit with a bottle of prosecco in my hand- all whilst still being excited
>Have a nice time at her house, eventually go to prom
>We sit at a table, have a few drinks, as you do
>She starts moving away from me- sits opposite end of table
>At this point I felt like shit. I felt she didn't want to spend time with me at all
>Go to bar and buy a drink
>Sit back at the table, really upset
>Everybody in friend group asking if I'm okay
>Start breaking down crying
>"Why doesn't my date want to spend time with me?" I say to myself several times
>Friends don't know how to respond so just leave me
>Date is very drunk at this point, way too drunk
>I stop crying, focus on looking after her (I'm drunk too)
>I sit next to her, lean against her and say stuff like 'I like you so much, would you go to prom with me?' (I don't remember what she responded)
>Eventually ask her 'Hey, can I kiss you?' (I know. Most beta thing I could have done)
>She responds "I'm a lesbian"
>I go "That's what they always say"
She goes off somewhere
>I move back to the table we were originally at
>About half an hour later she comes back
>Starts sitting on my lap and bouncing on it
>Feels good, but too upset to really live in the moment
>She gets off and stands up
>6'7", huge guy (quite fat, but he has never had the ladies)
>My date thinks this guy is a huge creep and doesn't like him whatsoever
>She goes in to lean to kiss him
>I lunge out of my sit and push him back, shouting "No! No! Please don't! No! Back off! She's my date!" (I am 5'10")
>He goes off somewhere
>She sits back down at the table
>I'm there having a panic attack
>Breathing heavily so rapidly, I thought I was going to have a heart attack
>Security takes me outside since people were saying that I wanted to fight him
>Try to explain my situation
>Get back in
>Find out my friends phoned her parents to take her home
>Upset at this point, but relieved at the same time
>Drunken me then tries to get her sober and stuff
>I made sure she couldn't go off somewhere, so whilst this was all happening I was venting to her about the night
>She drops "I'm so sorry" a few times
>Eventually her mum comes and takes her home
>Sorted
>I'm still very upset as she spent virtually no time with me
>A few friends come up to me later in the evening
>"She made out with him about 20 minutes before you broke up the kiss in front of you"
>"She told me that part of the reason she agreed to go with you was because she felt a bit sorry for you"
>Literally devastated, I really wanted to kill myself at this point
>Extremely confused as well, because she had been very flirty with me for a while as well (and exclusively with me)
>Can't get over her without ditching my friend group
Do you want to know the worst part of it all? I still love her and I am still hopeful something will happen in the future. Blindly optimistic? Yes. But that's the only way I can cope at the moment.
>Love
Get yourself the fuck together, Opie. You're in highschool. The things that happen there only matter if you dwell on them too much; it's time to stop giving a fuck about these people.
pic related is closer to the truth than your pic OP
>omegle
>r9k tag
>guy says he's having a panic attack and asks for me to distract him
>i try to help him
>he ends up making me cry
here it is: http://logs.omegle.com/a7d0d53
I'm socially retarded. What was he feeling? I can't tell and I want to be less socially retarded.
>>25120874
Should of posted tits for him.
>>25120874
/r/cringepics desu
Holy shit you're autistic as fuck OP. Hope you're good looking, because it would be a crime to make someone like you have to rely on their personality.
http://www.antiquesnavigator.com/d-1715307/sexy-nude-stocking-glasses-photo-print-girl-model-image-woman-boobs-big-butt-j91.html
>>25120870
That's no woman...
>>25120881
No it is a vintage pin-up poster girl, I'm serious.
why didn't you just post the image instead of the reaction animu, shitcorn?
Does anyone else like butts?
are you some kind of retard or something?
>>25120875
Im not sure, but do you like butts?
>>25120869
>Does anyone else like butts?
No, you are literally the only person living on the entire earth that likes butts. Enjoy your uniqueness.
P-please draw me your erect penis, senpai
>>25120763
I'm shit at drawing.
>>25120763
How about I draw it out of you when I'm finished.
I don't have a big enough piece of paper
Post a pic of your oneitis and others rate her
That's a pretty fkin cute girl if I do say so myself.
>>25120780
she's lovely, too bad she has a bf
Bretty guud taste OP.How tall is she?
going to the dealership to buy a car tomorrow
I got 20k
What should I get
>>25120657
BMW 5 Series
an HP Pavillion
What do you plan on using the car for?
What kind of roads do you expect to drive on? City, freeway, twisty mountain roads, long road trips? Do you expect to drive in the snow or off-road?
Do you want a fun car, something cushy, something bland and low-key?
Do you expect to drive mostly alone or have people in it a lot? (Probably not worth asking this on /r9k/ lol.)
Damn.......
she is..........
literally.......
perfect.........
second album when?
pure heroine is a banger
>>25120648
'Cept when she dresses in her extra goth clothes, that stuff makes anyone look bad
>>25120677
it's cute senpai
Daily reminder that if you're at least 5'10 (178 cm) you're living life on easy mode and have literally no reason to complain about life or "tfw no GF."
Prove me wrong. You can't.
>>25120634
>about an inch above average height
>easy mode
>>25120634
there are an immense number of short girls out there you fuck unless youre 5'4 stop making excuses
>>25120673
>there are an immense number of short girls
And how does that change anything?
>3 days of tinder
>used up all my likes again
>only got two matches
>both are fat
i just want to end it.
>>25120523
atleast you got a match. Stop being a picky little bitch. fat girls are hot.
>>25120587
why cant i get a girl like this to be my gf?
>>25120587
No they aren't? Fat is an antonym of hot...
>Select all images with street signs
enough with dis
>>25120522
>Select all images with street signs
>Every fucking image is a street sign
>Select all images with milkshakes
>answers are all obviously smoothies surrounded by fruit
Whatever google machine all this feedback is creating is going to sound like a russian immigrant
>"I'm not a robot"
>But I am a robot
Why don't you become an online poker professional? The lifestyle is pretty comparable to NEET lifestyle and being a autist is actually an advantage in this field.
Pic related, its my results for this year
risky profession with more losers than winners
>>25120513
>more losers than winners
absolutely the case. However, I'm assuming most here are shut-in tards like myself and have the time to study poker theory, if they felt like it. All of the money to be made in online poker comes from drunken chads popping on $50 at a time trying to spin it up, while studious dorks like myself pick up the easy cash.
The opportunity is there for those willing to put in the time
>>25120623
How long did it take you to git gud? What does poker theory involve? Math? Did you do well at school? What's your IQ?
I'm 27 and a virgin. When do I get my free bf?
Are you a girl?
>bloxbloxblox original blox
honestly as a sadly non virgin male (long story, lost our virginities to each other and were going to marry but she left me out of nowhere), my only requirement for a life partner is virginity.
Maybe you should stop being so mean to all of the boys, Flavia
