Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1952. page
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>tfw no prophylactic bf
>tfw no 40-Ounce Malt Liquor bf
>>29113745
according to your tumblr you had a bf a week ago what happened
>>29113985
That's not my tumblr.
You are given the following offer:
Stacy (pic related) will give you the best blowjob of your life; she will deep throat, swallow and suck you dry.
However, Stacy's boyfriend Chad (also pic related) is bi. He wants to pound that virgin boipucci of yours into submission. His 8" thundercock will penetrate you with the force of a thousand suns; he will make your rectum bleed, it will be extremely painful and he will cum buckets inside of you.
Stacy says if Chad can fuck your ass, she will blow you. You get the blowjob first and if you try to run away afterwards, Chad will run after you and rape you.
>>29113695
My anal virginity is not worth a good blowjob.
Sounds like a win win to me.
But that guy is not a Chad and I wouldn't let him into my bumbum
>>29113695
Hmm...What's the catch?
Whats the most famous youve ever been? Tfw made the front page of the newspaper driving the wrong way down interstate 10
>>29113620
I was in a commercial for a children's hospital when I was like 9
>>29113668
Pussy nigha
>>29113620
Couple of things, sadly they mean nothing. Also idc if you fags don't believe me shits true
>broke a couple lifting records in highschool: bench and squat
>broke several baseball records: highest homerun record 2 years in a row in hs ball (14-15), highest batting avg for 2 years, threw out most people stealing bases (played catcher) 1 year
>was ridiculous at O-line in football and was pushed up to jv freshman year. School published several articles about me for all the above
Also
>born with cleft palate
>had 25 surgeries (not all directly related to cleft palate but still)
>wrote paper in 8th grade about it, got published in schools literary magazine which ended up being mentioned in the chicago tribune
So I guess being in a couple magazine and being in my prime in my early high-school years... pretty pathetic but it's all I got
Too bad drugs ruined it all
Haircuts are such a pain in the ass. I don't know what to tell them besides "short". Sometimes they do competent work and sometimes I end up looking like this dipshit.
I need a hair style that will look OK, still look OK when it grows out, and how to direct them to do it.
Also, I'm American, how the hell do I tip them without making it awkward and weird? "Here's $20 for the haircut, and this $5 is for you. 25% is a bit much for a tip but I can't really ask for change on the tip now can I?"
>>29113281
If you tell them short and not something specific like "3 on top, 2 on the sides" or some stupid shit they'll just cut what they think short means. I always just get a 2 all around buzz cut.
Can't tell you how to style your hair cause I don't know what it looks like
Generally I tip pretty generously. Get my hair cut at great clips before noon for the early bird special, generally comes out to like $11 something. I'll usually just tip $5 if I get the early bird special, if not I'll just give them the full $20 and tell them to keep the change (ends up workin out to like ~$16-18 if I don't, and a $2-4 tip is still a lot). But tip how you want. They do a shit job, give a shit tip. Do a good job, give a good tip.
>>29113281
Just get a buzz cut every 4 months like a normal robot.
SON YOU NEED A GOT DANG MULLET. THAT HOE GONE NEVER LET YOU DOWN BOY
I am a 25 year old robot who is only now finishing university getting my life on track from being a highschool loser, NEET, WoW addict, obese loser. I am currently no Chad, But I have now had myself 2 girlfriends since 23.
I would like to give some advice to those younger then me because there was some small things in my life which have caused big problems later as I aged which caused other problems to snowball.
Can others please give advice so younger robots can avoid making our same mistakes. Being alone, a loser and a NEET is a depressing miserable life that is not something you want to be stuck living.
>Get your drivers licence as soon as possible.
Depending on your city and country of course but this is very important. This gives you the ability to be an adult. You can go where you want and do what you want. I am 26 now and a lot of my friends STILL can't drive and they are still stuck with their moms driving them around. They have missed many job offers and other life experiences because they just can't go anywhere.
>Get your degree as soon as possible.
You might think that changing degrees, failing a couple classes or taking your time won't matter because you are young. But I assure you most of the time (I understand some exceptions and outliers) this will matter. You will be turned away once graduated for jobs due to age and you will be left behind others because you are still a student. Others around you will be earning money, buying homes and preparing for a career yet you are still basically a kid.
I am on the edge of experiencing this first hand. I am the last of my social group to graduate and they all have left me behind as an adult.
>Girls are over rated
The moment I had my first girlfriend I was very disappointed. They are just dead weight. Sex is alright but r9k hypes it up to much.
I was naive and devoted myself to this girl and everything in my life suffered because they will leech everything out of you financially and emotionally.
>>29113269
More on girls
They do not do anything for you besides really hold you back. They will cause you to worry, stress and are really only good for sex.
As soon as you understand that you are more important then they are, then you can handle a girlfriend.
Right now I have never been happier with my girlfriend because I understand she is just a woman. She is not some special mystic being. I don't have to put up with any of her shit or any of her emotional mindgames.
Devote yourself to learning your career and trade.
>Get a job
Get a dam job. Money will change everything for you. The first week I got my first pay from washing dishes while at university I went out and bought new clothes.
This helped me feel more confident out in public and less of a loser. You can literally buy your way into happiness if you have enough of it.
>>29113269
Do they really turn people away because of age?
I was told they were more inclined to hiring people in their late 20s.
>>29113501
>I was told they were more inclined to hiring people in their late 20s.
Of course this will depend on how skilled your degree is.
But if you are expect a no experience typical degree job you will not be picked over a recent graduate.
There is no reason to hire person in their late 20s as they are seen as failures. I have heard this first hand by many people who have hiring power for their jobs.
I am 25 now and I have only landed my entry job due to insane ass kicking with my teachers and my good grades. I have been turned away by many interviews due to age and one interviewer even told me they do not want someone my age.
One even asked me what my entry score into university was and I was speechless because I had no clue anymore because I had been in university for nearly 7 years longer then my whole time at highschool.
I work in construction project management and have a skilled degree in it and I believe this was the only reason why I was even hired after the ass kissing. I was able to contribute on day one.
Is there such thing as an attractive girl who has alternative interests
>likes aphex twin
>watches a lot of anime
>enjoyed david lynch films
>loves playing super mario world on the snes
>total manic pixie dream girl vibe
is she real? if not what do you make of girls like this? i mean why would she wanna impress chad with all of this if he doesn't care about these things
>>29113106
well those are pretty normie qualities so im quite sure there should be at least a few
>>29113106
there are girls like that, they're fucking crazy the sex is ok
>>29113106
Yeah but they're usually pretty fucked in the head
source: one ruined my life
I realized why feminists annoy the shit out of me so much.
My Mom and sister both have typical feminist views when it comes to sex. They're on the progressive train of LGBT and all of that, they think that it's a good thing that men have it harder in the dating market than women these days, they support affirmative action for women and all that shit.
Now, as a man, I can forgive them for that. And because they're family, I wish them the best in getting the best mates they can. If my (divorced) mother met some hot guy with lots of money who seems out her league, I'd be very happy for her. Same with my sister.
But I thought to myself; if I did well in the dating market, would they be happy for me? Say I nabbed a high school senior or college freshman (or freshgirl rather if you know what I mean :^) ). Would they be happy for me?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized the answer would be "no". They wouldn't be able to suspend their distaste for anything that smacks of "patriarchy" or "sexism" long enough to be happy for their own son or brother being with a beautiful girl who makes him happy.
The more I think about this, the more it bothers me. I'm almost motivated to make it just so I can test this hypothesis. But sadly I'm already almost 100% sure I'm correct.
>>29113080
Women are self-absorbed narcissists incapable of thinking about things from others' perspectives
News
at
11
>>29113211
I don't expect them not to be selfish, so am I. I want what's best for me and my family. I would watch 100000000 dudes I don't know go hang if it would help me AND my family.
What bothers me is that I don't think my sister and Mom would suspend their feminist bullshit for me the way I'd suspend my ideological baggage for them. Like I feel sorry for my sister's fiance a bit (he's actually really popular and could do better than her I think) but honestly I don't give a shit at the end of the day because he's as good as my sister can get, so I count it as a victory for us, for my family.
But if I nabbed some young cute high school senior, my sister and Mom wouldn't be proud of me for being a strong, successful man who can pull that shit off, they'd probably call me a creep and have an argument with me or something.
If you were sexually attractive your mother and sister would face the dilemma of being attracted to you while being related to you. It would threaten their feelings of independence and power, in essence you would have power over them.
Stoicism: the endurance of pain or hardship without a display of feelings and without complaint.
It's a philosophy of how to deal with a shitty situation
Ask an aspiring stoic sage anything about the philosophy
>>29112936
Can we ask about your personal life?
>>29112956
I don't see why not, as long as it relates to the philosophy some how
>>29112936
is there anything worse than someone taking pity on you? like when someone says they feel sorry for me i just fucking despise it.
Is anyone here actually improving, or are you all stuck in the spiral of resentment and fear?
I am wielding my philosophy with more courage, and am feeling more alive than I ever have been. The setbacks are nominal. They simply exist because I choose to do wrong, that is; to go against what I know to be right for myself, by myself.
You'd be surprised by how much you'd change in two weeks merely by earnestly sincere to an principle of conduct.
Anyone else think like this?
I don't mean to say that I'm some kind of superior being, you all know full well I'm not. But even small convictions lived by earnestly can very easily change your life. Of course you need to actually DO it first, which requires what we can practically call courage. The little things too, require courage. And so I call attention to the OP..
Always been a self improvement fan but I want to work especially hard to save money in the next few weeks with extreme discipline.
nice hat w2c
Guys, it's official.
Asians are now overvalued. You can no longer get the 8/10's easily like back in 2007 or 2008.
We are now competing with Chads in order to get our Asians and we will loose.
What is our next race to go after? What do we stand a chance with? I believe Indians or Mexicans might be a smart choice. They are very undesired by Chads and thus are undervalued. We could grab a 7 or an 8 without competing with Chads but if we were to pick Mexicans we would have to compete with Tyrone and Martinez.
Thoughts Anons? I am leaning towards Indians.
>>29112899
lmfao indians girls? mexicans girls?
You'd be lucky to get a trap. The world is so competitive you'd be lucky to land a faggot bf
>>29112899
I'll stick with chocolate goddesses
>>29113221
This. You're gonna have to settle for darkies, OP. Don't fight it. Just embrace it.
Lets try this again, im bored what say???
"are you a feminist?"
ask that plox
>>29112922
Here you go my du
>>29112922
>>29112963
If that makes sense
>exactly ONE (1) chance at life
>born with garbage-tier beard genetics
Go to Jeffs beard board. Most folks there will recommend you grow your beard out for 13 weeks, by then the length will cover up your patchy spots, faggot.
>>29112855
Better than what some people can grow.
If you're desperate, you can splash some Rogaine on your face and get some beard gains (I don't condone this, it has been shown to potentially cause heart damage).
Anyway, I used to be upset about my inferior beard genes until I realized no one would like me or see me as more manly even if I had the thickest, most luscious beard in the world.
>tfw asked chad to come over and watch GoT yesterday
>he gave some shitty excuse not to show up
How can you virgins complain about how it's so easy to be a woman? Pic related, its me just so you know that I'm not even that bad looking.
did he find out you were fucking someone else?
>>29112740
probably your shit personality
>>29112740
Maybe because you're only going for Chad and ignoring the other 80% of men you roastie cunt
![tumblr_o5zz0cocKw1v5fgfao1_500[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/XhPV3DK.jpg "tumblr o5zz0cocKw1v5fgfao1 500[1]")
Girls with bellies are so cute
femanon from the last thread. Would love to see and touch more of her
I agree op
>tfw made a thread and got only one reply
It wasn't a belly gf thread though
Eeeew fat fat fat
>making your children pay rent
Is there anything more Jewish than this?
>>29112631
>expecting to live rent free with your parents indefinitely
Is there anything more Jewish than this?
>mfw lived with parents free of any charge for 35 years now
Sucks. My parents wouldn't expect me to pay rent. Especially because their mortage is more than I make in a year.
![1465261611548[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/lOFFZB3.jpg "1465261611548[1]")
