Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3853. page
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Oompa loompa oompa de doo
I have another puzzle for you
Oompa loompa oompa de dee
Hear me out before you REEEE
What do you do when you get in a rage?
Embarrassing yourself like a clown on stage
Why don't you be more like those you hate?
Then you just might get. a. Date.
Please just check your privilege.
Oompa loompa oompa dee da
To impress the ladies just learn the guitar
Or you can keep doing pee pee poo poo
But that will then mean...no girlfriend for YOU!
>>27965343
You suck.
oragaline
>>27965525
No I don't
Original
>>27965343
kek, also Peter Dinklage has been in movies for a while man, fuck.
>be me
>walking out of class
>finally done with the day
>now I can jack off and play vidya
>see something
>some students advertising for a club
>they've got m&m's
>they've even got some qt's
>walk up
>autism mode engaging
>doesn't matter though
>they're the ones doing the talking
>I just have to not sperg out and listen
>feelsgoodman.jiff
>they finish saying what their club is
>it's my turn to speak
>panic.empeefor
>it's some kind of biology club
>start laughing
>"Hehehe... Well I'd join but unfortunately I majored in a real major that will actually get me a job. It's called comp sci. Heard of it?"
>the guy talking talking to me looks confused
>he says something in confusion
>"Umm... Okay?..."
>of fuck, my fucking autism is at it again
>try to recover
>remember eye contact is good
>try that a bit
>try laughing a bit too
>the guy looks a bit at ease, thinking I just made a shitty joke
>wewlad.jaypeg
>but I still want some m&m's and to talk to that qt
>walk off from the guy I just talked to
>touch the qt's shoulder thus getting her attention
>start trying to say something but tummy gets knotty
>"H-hey... I uh.. I uh.. wanted to know if I could have some m&m's?"
>she looks at me like I'm stupid
>fucking hell, I've already creeped her out
>she says something
>"Yeah, there for anyone. Just take a few."
>she goes back to talking to the girl she was talking to before I got her attention
>try for her attention again
>"Yeah... I REALLY like m&m's. Hehehe..."
>at least I didn't stutter this time
>she looks at me
>I make eye contact as I go for some sweet ass m&m's
(continued)
>>27965329
>make contact with them m&m's
>fuck
>my hand went all the way in their bowl
>she looks at me like I'm disgusting
>panic
>try take hand out with as many as I can
>that way it's not like touched all of them, only the ones I take out
>use other hand to try to cradle as many as I can
>I'm getting stared at by everyone
>start getting shaky from the pressure
>drop all the m&m's back in the bowl
>god damn it
>just god damn it
>I don't want to seem gross and I just touched all those fucking m&m's
>fuck fuck fuck
>what do?
>take bowl
>still panicking
>run away
>bump into some guy while trying to get away
>fuck it
>run even faster
>hope they don't remember me
>spill m&m's everywhere as I run off
>finally get to safety about a block away
>try to act normal so that the police don't get me or something
>walk around for about an hour
>finally feel calm
>still have bowl in hands
>check it
>there's not even a single m&m left in the bowl
>mfw
Why does interacting with normies gotta be so dang hard? I think I'm just gonna give up the dream of getting a gf. I can't even handle normal human interaction without sperging out.
Oh shit, man lol. I could see myself doing something like this.
:) lifes a struggle aint it buddy
its alright now
daddy will take care of you
Why can't i just have a cute mtf gf?
>>27965313
I would like to be a millionaire with a tons of money. But you can't always have everything. Right ?
>>27965313
Can't have what doesn't exist senpai
>>27965313
>Why can't i just have a cute mtf gf?
Iktf op. Is it that outrageous of a request?
Get on the bike right now, femanon, no time to explain.
>>27965303
Easy there, little guy. Where is your mommy and daddy? Where did you get this motorcycle? It's too dangerous for little boys like you :3
>implying a femanon would want to ride on that loud piece of shit cruiser
Get a street bike or fuck off little man.
god damnit chad steals my gf yet again
> fart in class
> Immediately shout to kid next to me "EW DID YOU FART"
> continuously do it and no one wants to be around him anymore.
>>27965272
Well, that is exactly the thing maria would do, except everyone knows it was her anyway, but she choose to lie to herself.
>>27965272
This one boy I had a crush on in early high school would only fart when he was around me, so it was suspected that I did it. He knew I wouldn't say anything about it. Looking back, that was mean as hell. I only knew he did it on purpose because I heard that from someone else - he didn't normally smell bad or anything.
>>27965469
You..had a crush on someone that farted a lot?
Do you have fart fetish?
>Keeping your virginity intact for some fantasy virgin wife who will just end up cheating on you anyway
Could you be anymore of a cuck?
>>27965192
>2016
>giving a fuck about women and talking to them.
The bigger cuck is you.
>>27965364
>Not having a superior 2D waifu
>2020+5-9
>>27965402
>implying I haven't one.
robots pls lend me your wisdom. had an argument with my friend about this.
how do you score each of these girls out of 10?
Left 4.5 Right 3.75
6 both of them.
The one in the right is probably a 5 IRL if that's a favorable angle and lightning.
both 5/10, completely average
>tfw you're not a cuck
>>27965133
You're out of Iuck
nice thread
quality content
>>27965142
>>27965149
"Us cucks have all the luck" they said
>Just not in my butt, ok Anon?
How do you respond?
>>27965104
get her some dinner, she is crack whore skinny
jack off to her later though
damn i must have gotten locked up in Auschwitz when i was asleep.
>>27965104
IOW TEST
O
W
T
E
S
T
Specifically Mexican-Anerican bots. I assume there's some on here.
I feel so disconnected to my "culture". I don't really enjoy anything mexican besides the food. I even dont like a lot of fellow mexican americans, a lot of them have off putting personalities and/or are ghetto. feels bad man.
>>27965078
BECAUSE YOU ARE AMERICAN, NOT MEXICAN, THIS IS WHAT AMERICA DOES IT CREATES NEW, BETTER PEOPLE. EMBRACE IT! YOU ARE NOT A "TIO TOMAS" IF YOU AMERICANIZE
>>27965078
This is who you are now.
Hey mexibros
Hard drive got rekt, lost all my loli porn.
456 images, rip. Can you guys help?
Thanks /b/ros
Wrong board and shit taste
>>27964873
this is r9k you fucking nigger
>>27964893
you mean /b/ 2.0
>find good gurl in porno
>shes geting fucked by a nigger
fuckin subhuman trash, they shouldnt let those out of the cage desu
>>27964772
agreed
1123
I wonder who's behind these threads
>muh pornstar purity
kek go back to posting comments for the pornographic jew pajeet
Why even get a girlfriend if that is the outcome?
i hope that's just a ruse
that bitch would be in the streets
>>27964817
why for expressing an opinion?
>>27964883
this. luckily i have a big penis so i dont have to deal with this but sometimes when im drunk i will tell one of my gfs they have small boobs or could lose a few pounds or something. its just an opinion and doesnt mean you like them any less.
Do you think you're a KV for wanting a LTR and not caring about hook up or do you crave for a LTR because you're a KV?
Since I was a teenager I never cared about hook up. What I always wanted was to have a qt gf to spend my life with.
I'm not asking for many pussies, all I want is a qt gf. I'm not asking too much.
Why life denies me that?
Well, it's a viscous cycle.
You want some attachment, and that comes off as clingy and desperate. You can see it as not asking for much or having good intentions, but the most appropriate approach is to date first, so it at least appears you care who you plan to have a LTR with.
Most girls can see right through your insecurity, and once they do, you are on a DO NOT FUCK list.
>but the most appropriate approach is to date first, so it at least appears you care who you plan to have a LTR with.
Thanks for the advice.
>Most girls can see right through your insecurity, and once they do, you are on a DO NOT FUCK list.
Too bad I'm too insecure. I need to improve myself on that, but it's really hard. I have a pretty low self esteem.
>>27965599
Well, I just forgot to quote you >>27964833
Autistic cringy or edgy shit you've done in the past
OC here
>be me, act like an autist all the time
>7th grade
>never shower because too lazy and always wear clothes ive worn for the past month
>20~ pounds overweight and havent worked out in months
>have insane crush on girl named "Alley", she was pure 10/10 hot and smart
>she was from a pretty rich family and was germophobic and afraid of small animals
>she was perfect
>want to impress her
>one day older sister (20yo maybe?) gives me a gift
>picrelated, an insect in a candy
>here's my chance!
>next day, see Alley talking to friends during Algebra 1
>"Hey Alley, look at me!"
>Crush the candy right in front of her
>She lets out a shriek and looks horrified
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>impressive
>then all of a sudden she goes back to normal and continues talking to her friends like nothing ever happened
>realize she did it out of pity
>feelsbadman.jpg
>>27964716
cont.
>Algebra 1 class, still 7th grade
>Alley sitting near my group table
>we had laptops to use, and she was looking at exercise videos and things online (mostly ab shit)
>remember, im 20pounds over and havent worked out in months
>splurg out "Hey Alley! You gonna get a six pack like me?"
>was during moment when class was kinda silent, some kids near me looked at me like i was autistic
>She looks emberrassed and she lowers her computer lid looking at me as is she did something bad
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>then all of a sudden she and her friend open lid and continue, as if I never happened
>once again, realize she pretended
>feelsbadman.jpg
>>27964716
shit fucked up
instead of
>crush the candy right in front of her
should be
>crushed the candy with my teeth right in front of her
>>27964716
>>27964815
>>27964854
any feedback on fresh OC?
