Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2447. page
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>just wasted an hour doing literally fucking nothing
>>28832099
>Just wasted a day doing literally fucking nothing
>>28832233
>just wasted a week doing literally fucking nothing
>>28832259
>just wasted 3 months doing literally fucking nothing
This asshole just ran under my bed
How fucked am I?
>>28831979
You can fix that easily.
>can of hairspray
>lighter
spidey go bye-bye
>>28832043
As much as losing my bed and likely my house sounds appealing, I was hoping some "biologists" were on here tonight
just need to know whether this thing can kill ir paralyze me
if it's harmless I don't mind him sleeping in the bottom bunk
RIP in pepperoni
really hoping this is the only one I have to worry about
why do women view blond and ginger males as inferior?
>>28831858
But I thought they were master race :3
>>28831897
times are changing anon, if you haven't noticed almost all the top male models have brown/black hair
>>28831858
Because they are morons falling for the dark and handsome meme.
>person asks me if i'm ok
>say i am
>i'm not
who /devilish/
>>28831855
>Anon are you okay, you look really sad about something
>"Oh-uh sorry just tired haha"
>I've said this so many times they just assume i'm tired all time
>hey anon come hang out with us
>I-I can't I have something for work
>never have something for work and just stay indoors doing nothing
Ha joke's on them
>person asks me if I'm ok
>I know they don't actually care, they're just doing the usual normalcy security check that they've had embedded in their psyche from years upon years of social conditioning
>bust up into tears and wail loudly (I can't help it, if someone accuses me of being sad I instantly start thinking sad thoughts and then making myself sad, and as an honest person I cannot hold myself back)
>say "no, no I'm not okay, I never have been okay and you just reminded me of this fact" over and over again
>their inexplicable, malfunctioning face when they thought I would play along, but instead chose to defy the unspoken laws of pretense
>they are left speechless
/d e v i l i s h/
If you could pick two talents you don't already have which ones would you pick?
Fucking amazing at math.
and psycho analyzing.
>>28831820
play the piano and write epic stories
Being Chad
Good at physics
Who /literallycan'tflirtwithwomen/ here?
>dates are all choppy and weird
>chicks don't feel comfortable around me
>can;t think of ways to loosen up the tension
>can even feel how uncomfortable it must be to go out with yourself
Hey, this describes me pretty well. Apparently I come off as creepy when I try to act normal. Nobody goes out with me after two or three dates.
>>28831746
Drugs literally solve this problem
>>28832189
What kind of drugs 2bh?
>none of my threads or comments are ever replied to
WHAT THE FUCK DO I HAVE TO DO TO IMPRESS MY FELLOW ROBOTS!??! IM STARTING TO THINK THIS BOARD IS LITERALLY JUST NORMIES HAVING A BAD DAY SPRINKLED WITH A TRUE ROBOT HERE AND THERE.
IF A GIRL HAS EVEN SO MUCH AS HAD A CRUSH ON YOU, STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THIS THREAD
>>28831711
haha anon a girl has had a crush on me and im posting in your thread xd
at least you get a (you) out of it right?
>>28831711
so you are just here to impress people?
I am a normie and I approve this message.
Mischief thread! I'll start
>straight friend says I love you to me in a no homo way
>say I love you back, and say no homo, but really mean full homo
>tourists asks for directions
>say I don't know where that is
>I actually did
>really have to pee so fucking bad
>don't
>crush asks me out
>reject her
I am taking applications for the role of "best friend". The previous robot who took that role suddenly decided she didn't want to be friends anymore, so I am looking for her replacement.
I am a white, 21-year-old NEET. I like all sorts of music, playing guitar/drums, reading non-fiction and fiction books, and going out for hikes and walks.
There are not really any requirements for this position, you just have to be my friend, preferably for the rest of my life.
>>28831618
>hikes and walks
/how-to-be-boring-and-poor/
anon what vidya do you play
>>28831672
I forgot to mention that too; I am boring and poor.
>>28831697
Sometimes I play Paradox games, simulation games, or Kerbal Space Program.
I used to dress like absolute shit, in the last year I've improved my appearance a ton by just sticking to a few simple key rules.
Almost all my clothes are cheap fast-fashion shit like H&M, but I still dress better than 80% of guys.
Why haven't you made an effort to improve your appearance yet?
>>28831607
I'm too autistic to match my clothes. If I tried to be fashionable it would just fall flat.
>fast fashion
What do you mean by this? Is something wrong with H&M?
>>28831607
>a few simple key rules
Please, lord of fashion. bestow upon us these rules.
>tfw fluid in my ears
Is it jizz? I bet its jizz. Happened to me last time I was invited to a party.
>>28831678
thanks for the laugh anon
i don't know what it is
maybe it is jizz
but i wnat it OUUTTTTTT
>>28831580
Is it water or something worse?
Post something for me to fap to.
>>28831576
you will never get sauce btw
>>28831576
hear
origeal
>>28831604
Disgusting.
2D only please.
Yet another /latenightsnack/ thread :) post comfy snacks saved for those nights where you dont want to sleep, cant sleep or just have a craving for something!
Tonight is simple for me: pita and hummus. Great combo, put it nexr to a glass of milk and things start getting pretty comfy
Mug of nice hot instant coffee with cream. Gonna keep me up? Probably. Who cares? Not this guy.
Probably eat a spoonful of peanut butter while I wait for the microwave to warm the water.
>>28831628
That sounds uber comfy, coffee actually kinda calms me down sometimes too so its really good for staying up and gaming or whatever I want to do but if I want to mellow out coffee doesnt get me riled up either so its a win win!
>>28831738
>tfw I have hummus but nothing to eat it with.
>find pornstar
>doesn't do interracial
why is this bullshit allowed?
you are an cuck
>>28831571
it's 2016 you racist bigot
>>28831547
Incase you havent realized most people dont like niggers.
Shit only you think you do thread
>Eat my own cum when I'm too lazy to toss it after jerking off
>Eat the psoriasis scabs off the edges of my nose
>fap to hairy asian grannies
>collect nail clippings in an old paperclip box (i reallly really enjoy putting them under my foreskin to jerk off then put them back; rinse and repeat)
I'm honestly a normal guy too. I get plenty of pussy and have a really diverse group of friends. Everyone's a little off right?
>cum 10 times in a night to lists of biggest metropolitan areas in the us after snorting 4 adderall pills
I wait outside mygf's family's house for hours afterwork until she either comes outside or answers me. I am doing it now, I browse 4chan while I wait.
>>28831532
i'm always too lazy to clean up my jizz, so eating it has become routine
