Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2456. page
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAh2AiTKuuU
thoughts?
she doesn't seem to hate it
perplexing.
>>28826338
She likes the attention but is disgusted by the fat manlet virgin giving it.
>>28826257
Chad gets rekt by typical roastie
Quite funny desu
Reminder that /r9k/ ruined the life of a fellow robot
>>28826178
>/r9k/ ruined the life of a fellow robot
He hadn't much life to begin with.
>>28826178
He was an ugly loser who dropped out of college and worked at a shitty gas station
I don't see how you would call that a life
>>28826178
>ruined.
She's fucking happy now you shitlord. Stop making threads with her pre transition pics.
How does this make robots feel?
Like I'm alive.
>>28826141
I really am not into trap/tranny shit or interracial porn, but this gave me a boner.
>>28826141Could you give sauce please
I hate it when this happens xD
>>28825972
don't worry. pol is taking him back for us
Norman occupation of r9k
Pepe died the day he appeared on Katy Perry's twitter
doesnt get more normie than that
>tfw no wicked bf
>>28825951
You should get some sleep my man.
>>28825951
>tfw no righteous paladin bf
>tfw no tomboy gf to playfully wrestle with in a non-sexual manner with on the bed
You wake up in a locked dungeon. Someone tells you that if you don't choose between having sex with a MTF or FTM transgender you will die a slow, painful death for all eternity.
Would you rather have sex with the boigirl in his boipussy and suck his girlcock, or have sex with the girlboi who has a real, genuine vagina?
You must choose.
I will choose death
>>28826222
The MtF.
What kind of stupid question is this anyway? We're almost at the point where we can swear off women completely and just use them as surrogates and erotic dancers.
>death
>all eternity
>All you need is confidence bro
>>28825948
No, all you need is read my robot plan for dating
>>28825948
He's pretty hot
>>28825983
Where can I read this surely vast quantity of knowledge?
i want to join but i can only do 30 pushups/situps and can only run a half mile right now and it takes me around 4:30 to do that. and bct seems fun in some parts but being yelled at and smoked seems god awful, how bad is basic and do i have a chance?
>>28825784
Start by watching a little less TV.
>>28825784
Go for it. Really. They will whip you into shape
>>28826223
the thing is though, to even get in tou have to be able to do 13 push ups, 17 situps and run an 8:30 mile. i xanbot dobthe mile yet :/
So, 36 and still a virgin. Meaning I'm now on my 6th year carrying the dreaded title of a "wizard" (no, you don't learn magic). I never wanted children, and I'm actually glad that I never had to go trough any of the childish drama I've seen others (failing to) endure. Also, free and pure from STDs, things could be worse.
But I still feel incomplete as a man. Like I'm something less than the others who managed to get theirs. Like a part of me is missing. Deep down I know that I missed out, when I couldn't get my chance to fool around with some nice 20-something year old.
>>28825766
I'm free and pure from STD's and have been with 13 women so far (I'm 24)
>>28825766
38 year old Wizard reporting.
In all honesty, you're weird, or maybe I'm. Well, we both are, but I don't understand why so many of my fellow bearded brah are obsessed with this idea of "having missed out" and I'm not.
I've my own regrets, but the chance of fooling around with a girl when I was still young ain't one. I regret not finding a good woman and founding a family though.
>>28825766 (OP)
Who'd have thought it? I think I've actually found a peer. I'm 36 years old as well, lived as a wizard just as long as you have. One doesn't find many like us, does he? We're a rare breed; I think we'd both agree that's a very good thing. I wouldn't wish our condition on my worst enemy. Not even I'm bitter enough to be capable of that kind of hate.
>no, you don't learn magic
No, but like any proper sorcerer, we do have our share of demons, don't we? When the Spirit of Nature rejects you, there are no shortage of demons willing to rush in and take Her place. Well, to each man the familiar he deserves, I suppose. And we have exactly what we are "entitled" to.
So, a question. Why do you think you've found yourself in our quite unusual position? I'm slowly learning that not all wizards for the same reason. In my case, the answer is simple: women simply find me repulsive. And I had always assumed my brothers were the same. And yet, I see more and more evidence that I am exceptional, even among the exceptions.
So, why do you feel you never had a chance?
what are yalls most desperate horny stories.
>be me wagecuck in a shit hole of southern USA
>got moved here by my company cause i am too beta to say no
>no one talks to me
>no friends
>hit /fit/ to get in shape
>still no friends
>drink alone a lot
>all bots and fags on the dating apps
>try craigslist
>met a lot of whores but i hate niggers so no way
>finally land a massive fatty off of craigstlist
when i say fat this bitch is 250 at least.
>we go to dinner at a wing and daiquiri sports bar
>she orders dozen wing, cheese fries. fried pickles and a redneck daiquiri
>it would have been cheaper to bang the whores..even if they did rob me
Fast foward after she knocked back all the food and few beer she suggested to go back to her place. My cock is saying no but i am $70 into this mess so fuck it.
>we get to her place. I have to piss
>go to the bathroom and come out to her naked pic related.
>she tells me to strip and give her that lovely white cock
>she starts sucking my cock
>i try to 69 but her pussy mess like pile of catfish heads
>she talks dirty in between swallowing
"oh yeah give me that bad white cock!!mmmmmm Its so nice not to have nigger cock for once"
>she is pretty good at blowing me....she has done it before
>how many nigs has this fat ass blown?
>i need up cumming in her mouth
>she trys to get me to fuck her but i cannot get it up.....she is so fucking gross.....
>i eat her out because i feel bad
>i cannot tell you how bad this fat pussy tasted
>sweaty, sour, yeasty and kind of fishy....like bad craft beer aged on fish heads
>i cannot even find the clit for the fat
>i need up doing this for a good 30 minutes
>she says she cums....i doubt it
>i left saying i'd call sometime
this was last night. I never thought i would feel more alone after having relations
Babies first hog
>Tfw virgin
>Tfw will never know the sweet embrace of a fat nigger
Why live senpai
>>28825801
He said he hates niggers, and SHE said she had to suck niggerdick...He was fucking a white whale, amigo.
Robot Concert
Get in here
https://youtu.be/qHDdqubE7zQ [Embed]
Well, I went to the doctor
I said, "I'm feeling kind of rough"
"Let me break it to you, son
Your shit's fucked up"
I said, "My shit's fucked up?
Well I don't see how"
He said, "The shit that used to work
It won't work now"
I, I had a dream
Ah shucks, oh well
Now it's all fucked up
It's shot to hell
Yeah, yeah, my shit's fucked up
It has to happen to the best of us
The rich folks suffer like the rest of us
It'll happen to you
That Amazing Grace
Sort of passed you by
You wake up every day
And you start to cry
You wanna to die
But you just can't quit
Let me break it on down
It's the fucked up shit
Yeah my shit's fucked up
https://youtu.be/rQpTtYj52ts
I've got a little black book with my poems in
I've got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in
When I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone in
I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on
Got those swollen hand blues.
Got thirteen channels of shit on the T.V. to choose from
I've got electric light
And I've got second sight
I've got amazing powers of observation
And that is how I know
When I try to get through
On the telephone to you
There'll be nobody home
I've got the obligatory Hendrix perm
And I've got the inevitable pinhole burns
All down the front of my favourite satin shirt
I've got nicotine stains on my fingers
I've got a silver spoon on a chain
I've got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains
I've got wild staring eyes
I've got a strong urge to fly
But I've got nowhere to fly to
Ooooh Babe when I pick up the phone
There's still nobody home
I've got a pair of Gohills boots
And I've got fading roots.
https://youtu.be/A9o5HZTV4vU
Don't want to be free of hope
And I'm at the end of my rope
It's so tough just to be alive
When I feel like the living dead
I'm giving it up so plain
I'm living my life in vain
And where am I going to?
I got to really try
Try so hard to get by
And where am I going to?
I don't know where is up or down
And there ain't any love left around
Everybody wearin' a frown
Waiting for Santa to come to town
You're giving it up so plain
You're living your lives in vain
And where are you going to?
You've got to really try
Try so hard to get by
And where are you going to?
Flip on your TV
And try to make sense out of that
If we were all in the movies
Maybe we wouldn't be so bored
We're giving it up so plain
We're living our lives in vain
And where are we going to?
You gotta really try
Try so hard to get by
And where are you going to?
Goodbye, goodbye
https://youtu.be/O9TunCtR3dQ
Sometimes I feel
Like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
Okay, /r9k/, I have an idea so stupid that it simply HAS work. I've got this idea by playing pen and paper role-playing games. Okay, let's begin.
>no experience with girls
>doesn't want to get humiliated trying by unsensitive bitches
You may already have figured out where I'm going at. The answer is.....ROLE PLAYING!
You just get a generous chad or whatever friend and have him pretend he is a girl which you have the intent of hitting on.
This way, not only you explore possible ways a girl my react in these situation, but you can also figure out what changes in you when you engage in courtship. For me, I figured and my friends told me that my voice changes in a more docile one.
What can go wrong, seriously? Peace and I'm awaiting your feedback.
Video which inspired me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGzWB7euw9k
May I be damned if this doesn not work!
Underrated shit right there
>>28825576
pathetic, you are not fooling anyone
noticed we're missing a high test thread, thought i'd remedy the situation
thanks!
well-proportioned women only please!
posting a classic high test qt
>>28825575
You just know there is a C-section scar there.
>tfw my gf is hanging out with her ex boyfriend
She said that they are just friends. I think i'm losing my mind robots.
I finally got a girlfriend and I don't wanna be the clingy jealous kind.
How can I make her stop without coming off as an insecure faggot?
she's banging him, just so you know
so either
a) put up with her cheating on you like a bitch
or
b) dump her skank ass
theres no in between. there's no reason any person in any relationship hangs out with ex's as "friends".
You don't.
You talk to her openly, adress the issue, speak your mind out. Be calm, be well worded, be stern.
There are two ways this'll go.
1) She understands, agrees, all is k
2) She doesn't, in which case she belongs in the trash. As surely, you cannot see yourself spending your life with such a person, so why waste time.
Either way, it'll be fast.
>>28825515
>my gf is hanging out with her ex boyfriend
lol tell her this is not okay with you or it's over.
She's fucking him.
Are you fucking her? You could be a betabux cuck after all.
How does one acquire the will to break away from people?
I still seek for human relationships (friends,family,lovers,etc.) but I know I can never hold it in my hands, I force myself into social situation (online, no so much so offline) and I hate it. I don't understand how to be "normal" I just copy what normal people do and hope am doing an okay job.
and I tend to be the one that initiate conversations but honestly I just don't see the point of it anymore.
should I just ghost everyone?
it seems like it's the best way to disappear than outright deleting them.
people can just forget I ever existed and I can be just like the person I was before.
but at the same time I'll be awfully lonely.
things are confusing, and I am contradicting myself.
I wish I can be more decisive when it comes to these things.
Bump, please respond to me.
poor confused anon
>>28825397
cute ladyboy, didn't read your post though
