Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3129. page
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warm weather is here!
>>28447738
England? My Nigga
>>28447738
Get out normie warm weather is the absolute worst. True robots love the cold
>>28448280
Why do neckbeards hate the sun?
>Mom let a homeless guy stay in our house
>Tell her she shouldn't let him stay
>She yells and cusses at me, tells me it isn't my house and I should go live with my dad if I don't agree with her
>A few days go by
>She says he tried to rape her
So are all women this dumb or is it just my mom?
rape the homeless guy for payback
Sounds exactly like the "refugee" invasion
Y'know, sometimes I say to myself that women ARE pretty stupid, but then I remember that a lot of men are pretty stupid as well, so that brings me to the conclusion that people in general are pretty fucking stupid.
Oh yeah, and your mom's an idiot. (In this situation. I don't know your mom)
I hated how I was so I changed myself. I got fit, I started talking to people, I kissed girls, I got laid, I did better in classes
>now people fear me instead of ignoring me
>no girl gives me a second date
>only time having sex was terrible and she wouldn't look at me again
>nerds think I'm too normal and don't want to associate with me
>normals are disgusting animals I cant associate with
I'm healthier and better than I ever was but I'm still the one alone.
>>28447703
>people fear me
>no girl gives me a second date
>nerds and normies hate you
Your life must've been fucking terrible before to consider than improvement. Have a good one robot.
>>28447734
People used to make fun of me or ignore me, but I had some friends I could be myself with. Situations change and friends go away, but I needed to fix myself or not be at all.
I try not to think of things as an improvement or not, I did what I had to, and i feel entitled to happiness
>>28447703
you're just used to people not giving a shit so you've never learned how to speak inanely. don't let anyone ever tell you that even after you became less shitty that it's because you're terrible at heart anon
Why the fuck are normies so unappreciate of gifts and presents?
>Fathers birthday today
>Don't want to buy him a thing because he is an ass to me all the time
>Decide he likes cooking so I should buy him something related to cooking as a gesture of goodwill
>Don't want to spend lots of money
>Buy him 4 pizza cutters
>Label 1 'meat', 1 'vegetable', 1 'extra cheese' and 1 'deep dish'
>He opens them
>Tell him it is for when he makes me frozen pizza which is the recipe he cookes that I enjoy the most (he is a shit cook)
>he gets mad and asks if that is the only gift I bought him
>tell him yes
>he refuses to take the gift, tells me 'I can make my own food from now on, if I can figure out how to use the oven without burning the house down'
>takes ALL of my frozen pizza from the freezer and tells me that 'his freezer isn't going to look like the broken dreams of an obese failure' anymore
>tells me to go upstairs
I don't get it. I have very little money due to working only 3 days a week. I did something nice for him and entertained his little chef fantasy and this is the thanks I get?
what a piece of shit, never buy him anything again OP
>>28447678
You sure are an asshole.
>>28447769
i agree op you are a dick
Do you feel sad when you realize you'll never live to see the cyberpunk future?
Just move to china
>>28447668
I need a tron lightcycle bike and I'll be content with this.
bad realy bad
Lonerbot thread. How many friends do you have? I can count how many I have on 0 hands.
Tried being friends with people from /r9k/ before, I always lose interest in a couple of weeks/months and just block and delete them.
I have one REAL friend. Since he got a gf he's been really distant and we rarely ever hang out anymore. Fucking kill me
What is a friend? Seriously, when can you call someone you know a friend?
>Anon, your dinner is ready!
>>28447624
>mfw I eat those cosmic brownies all the fucking time
>>28447624
that looks pretty good, not gonna lie.
pass on the chocolate milk maybe.
>>28447624
>chocolate milk
>not cranberry juice
This looks like a fine meal though.
>Browsing the chon
>Mom has a friend from work over so i lock my door
>Been chewing gum for a few hours
>Gum loses consistency as gums do after a few hours of chewing
>Can't go downstairs because i haven't showered in 3 days
>Just throw the gum out of the window
>It lands on her bicycle seat
>1 hour later
>mom orders me down
>workfriend sat on the gum
>Mfw i have to apologize
JUST END ME GUYS
How did she know it was your gum..?
how did the gum land EXACTLY on the bike seat?
>>28447596
There was no other window open anywhere and my mom saw me chewing it when i got a drink from the fridge
>>28447618
It was still sticky so i think i just hit it
ITT: We Post Like We're On Tumblr
>>28447537
ayy lmao dat boi
reposting this everytime i see it
en guarde fuccbois
>>28447537
omFG ASFjDghhrfjhsdjrfhereas i'm screAMING like whAt EVEN eatgjhrtk
Robots,do you think swearing/cursing is related to mental problems ? Because i find myself and couple of other depressed people swearing really often.
It's because you don't find the words to express the intensity of what you're feeling so you resort to cursing.
Swearing has been shown to reduce physical pain. Alright, thats my contribution to this thread. I know its not much, but there it is. I'm trying to contribute today so fuck off.
If a word is good enough for a sailor, it is good enough for you. The only real bad word is taxes.
>he types "kys"
>he calls people "my dude"
>uses text shorthand like u, ur, and lowercase i
>needlessly double spaces every sentence
>image.jpeg
kys my dude dont get on ur high horse just bcuz ur 19 and 1 yr older then the yungest legit usuers LOL
fkin memed, nerd
>Be 23
>Use perfect grammar and spelling since 11 years old and abhor anything else
>Finally crack this year and non stop u, ur, kys, what a time to be alive etc etc etc
I am a fucking embarrassment.
>he posts memes outside of 4chan, on places like Facebook and Instagram
Hey robots, illegal immigrant from Mexico on his lunch break here, AMA
>>28447422
Watcha eating spicbot ?
are you going to flee to mexico when trump gets elected or are you just going to try and lay low and see if you can avoid being found out and deported?
does anyone else know you're illegal? are you afraid of them reporting you and getting you sent over the wall?
>>28447446
A sandwich anon, what the fuck do you think? You think I'd be eating a 5 course dinner out here?
>>28447457
I live in a town that is friendly to illegal aliens. Fuck off /pol/tard. Go cry in your little hugbox.
big sisters > little sisters
agreed?
Depends on their personality
>>28447398
One won't send you to jail so yeah big sister Trumps little sister.
tfw you will never have an older sister that has friends you drool over
tfw you will never have an older sister to give you life advice
tfw you're an only child and devoid of any feels besides the sads
>dad lives entire life in a quiet english town with a wife and daughter
>finds out his wife has been cheating on him when he's pushing 60
>discovers soon afterwords he has cancer
>divorces wife and joins a long distance dating service
>is matched up with my mom, a religious spinster from puerto rico who's living in florida and is a literal 40 year old virgin
>eventually get married after two years, the ceremony is weeks after my dad has had major surgery to remove a tumor
>born almost a year after the ceremony
>dad is only getting worse
>see him have a seizure while taking the garbage out one day
>eventually told he has a brain tumor, and it's inoperable
>dad passes away, two weeks after my 5th birthday and the day after father's day
>both side's of the family try to make me feel accepted, but never feel like i belong in either side of the family
>mom's side because i don't feel or look puertorican
>dad's side because i know that they're thinking in the back of their heads that if everything had worked out the way it was supposed to, i would have never existed
And that's why I have trouble meeting women. I don't want my kid to be in a similar situation as mine. I want my child to have a family, and a father, because there were a lot of time growing up where I would have liked to have had both.
Is it too late for you to have an abortion?
>>28447401
a little
fhdfhfd
>mfw hearing cheerful old grandmas in the nursing home laughing about cucking their late husbands decades ago
>mfw no face
i just want to know I'm not alone in this-
>be me last year
>at friend's house, smoke weed
>3rd time ever, didn't get high the first two times but phew, this time...
>never ever felt so anxious in my entire life, pacing around, bouncing legs and tapping fingers x1000
>literally felt like i wasn't in control of my body, or even my own life
>possible panic attack
>fast forward to last night
>sitting on computer
>start to feel the exact same way, out of control, anxious, get lightheaded and worried, feel like I'm on auto-pilot
>have to stand up and talk to family to feel normal again, before i completely lose it
how the fuck did this happen? how was i so panicked without even touching weed for months? was i thinking too much? i felt the exact way i did when i was high, but without even smoking. I'm worried for my health. pic unrelated.
my friend used to get this every now and then... turned out he was gay the whole time
Never smoke weed again.
>>28447328
I love hearing stories like this, this generation is so fucking frail.
You didn't slam heroin or drop acid, you smoked weed and you're rattling off this hypochondriac autism lol
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