Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2031. page
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I hate normies.
I do hate them.
>>29068451
Without normies, you wouldn't be living the luxurious life you are enjoying right now
>>29068485
no, beta shut-ins are responsible for modern civilization
pen0r is kill.
Tell me about her.
Apparently she's a ybf tier stalker and spic, friends with fish and some other trips. Is it true she doxxed the egg?
What made her so bitter?
I am none of those things.
Dont make threads about me
Hey, for the record I am a better stalker than ybf.
>>29068371
Why is she suicidal?
>>29068476
What a strange time to white knight.
How do so many women have so little self worth and are so deluded that they think it is normal to plaster paint on their face everyday?
How else would a black widow lure you back to their lair?
>>29068439
this level of deception should be illegal, it elevates their market value
...and yet when I wear makeup I'm accused of committing a hate crime?
Failed to lose my virginity
>Go to korean massage shop
>get full body massage
>plain jane faced but cute body 30-40 something girl rubs my body with oils and shit
>30 minutes later or so she says she's done
I ask
>"Umm, are you finished? Is that it?"
>Hmm? Do you want something else?
>"I uhh, umm just didn't realize you were finished... is there... nothing else?"
>What else do you want
>"o-oh... nothing... thanks"
So that's it paid for a stupid massage for nothing,
You autistic fuck. That is literally the worst way to ask for it anyway.
>>29068397
how should i do it??? i don't understand
>>29068369
haha you fucking lose how much did you pay for a god damn MASSAGE?
>It's that dream again where anon saves his crush from a certain death and they lived happily after that
>still dream about oneitis almost every night
>>29068367
>it's another " 'anon tackles the school shooter and saves his oneitis' dream" episode
Whenever I have a dream about my oneitis, I either just catch a glimpse of her, or I see her holding hands with another guy. My brain is trying to kill myself.
how many times have you fapped to creepy susie
me? at least thousand times
Many many times
Not to pics, though. To my imagination. I have all the pictures though
I can't say I'm attracted to characters with a lazy eye. I'm more of a Hex Maniac kind of guy though.
>>29068411
That's a pretty good choice. The eyelid thing gets me going, though
In any case we all like creepyfus
>it's a neighbors blaring ranchera music weekend
>>29068284
go and have a beer. got hooked up with some carne asada and a beer earlier when i went outside to smoke a joint.
>>29068326
Did I tell you to respond to me?
>live in Miami
>new years and every month or so
>blast reggaeton, dancehall and pitbull all night
>not even hispanic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgy8vOzl-po
Imagine the feeling after we've met aliens and its been a month and the novelty is finally starting to wear off and it turns out they're basically like us in every way so we don't get any answers about anything.
>he thinks the aliens just divulge all their hidden knowledge to us right away
kek
>>29068283
What if they're at the equivalent of 2080 AD in their history so they just give us what they have so we can catch up faster
>implying we're not alone
>once worthless and hated
>no skills, no talents, no hobbies, no life besides laying in bed drunk, waiting to die
>normies avoided my gaze, stacies hid behind their chads, people spat on my shadow
>now everyone wants me to join them
>the christians, the commies, the nazis, even lifters, nofappers, trads, and gays are beating a path to my door
Oh, how the worm has turned, my... friends? May I call you that? I wouldn't want to be PRESUMPTUOUS. Ha, ha, ha, ha. It seems the shoe's on the OTHER foot, now.
Fate. Fate's a funny thing, isn't it? It seems like only yesterday you dismissed me as a worthless subhuman, even as I cringed and bowed for you. Now it's YOU who are the mewling supplicants, come crawling to my dismal den to beg my favor...
The... treatment you gave me? Oh, don't worry. I remember all of it. Every cold glare and horsey snicker is engraved upon my soul with, I assure you, excruciating precision. But I'm not... No, I'm not bitter. YOu sons of bitches. I'm perfectly fine. I bear so little ill will towards you that I'll even give you an audience, provided certain conditions are met.
Here's how it will be. You describe your group-- cult? I've forgotten the human name for these things in my isolation. Tell me why I should consider joining you. Then, when you are done, I will make of you a small request. Should you grant this tiny favor, I'll... consider your invitation. Should you ignore it or fail, then I hope you rot in hell forever you CUNT CUNT excuse me, I will be less inclined to accept your offer.
The game is afoot, gentlemen. First to post gets the easier assignments, but really, they're all fair. Fairer than I've had. Ha ha. Go forth, now.
*slow claps*
*steps out of the shadows*
Heh... not bad, kid. Not bad at all. Your meme, I mean. It's not bad. A good first attempt. It's plenty dank... I can tell it's got some thought behind it... lots of quotable material.
>>29068259
way to fucking ruin the thread you newfag piece of shit redditor
>>29068259
>>29068293
Let's not fight. A better question is, what would you like me to embrace, and what are you able to do in return?
I'll embrace any doctrine, provided they can, you know, deliver.
This just happened so I'm writing this trying not to piss myself from fear, feel free to post your first-time spaghetti events.
>Dating this hot ass Vietnamese girl
>says she wants to hang out
>I say come in an hour I have to get dressed
>jack off so I last longer when fucking
>ridiculous femdom dick biting porn
>just came all over myself
>get text "I'm here open the door"
>throw on a Hawaiian shirt and gym shorts
>she's drunk off her ass
>her gay friend drove her
>they walk in my room
>forgot to close browser
>gay points at it and says "me" they both start laughing
>I close the browser
>they smoke all my weed as I try to act normal
How fucked am I
>>29068200
That's hot bro. 3some?
memein
>>29068200
nobody cares. She's drunk and won't remember.
Just own it dumbass.
>tfw older gay men hit on you
Leave me alone you fucking creeps!
this is how women feel when broke guys hit on them
Meh, it's not so bad. I just take it as a compliment, tell them I'm not into guys and move on. No need to get all butthurt about it.
>>29068214
This is how women feel when anyone but Chad doesn't hit on them
>tfw fell for the trade school meme
4 call backs and 2 interviews in 14 months of job searching TOP KEK
Should've went to university
I'm in school for hvac if it doesn't work out I'll just move to my farmhouse and die
I seriously don't know what people like you expect from life. What did you expect, for somebody to walk up to you and give you a blowjob and an actual job too upon first touching your new certificate right out of the envelope ?
Lmao, retard
>>29068256
Most people ignore apprenticeships which is retarded
>Be half Russian
>Russian relatives hate me for being a mongrel
>Talking with a cousin on steam who's half spic and isn't as hated
>Learn everyone makes monkey noises whenever they talk about me
Why are Russians so mean
Russians are just very racist, silly moneky
>>29068140
>>Learn everyone makes monkey noises whenever they talk about me
I don't understand this statement
>>29068140
what are you a black russian
On house arrest for two months. What can I do for fun?
Spy on your neighbors
>>29068103
Tie your anklet to a bird and watch the news.
Think about how you arrived to this point
Who here /shittyneighborhood/?
>Homeless people sleep on my lawn because it's somewhat secluded
>Homeless bring a harem of Tyrones for some reason.
>Heard six gunshots tonight.
>Crackheads start yelling and generally chimping out.
>Can't leave anything on floor because apartment is irrevocably infested with ants.
I'll be sleeping in my bath tub tonight as it's the only room with no windows that locks. Pretty comfy desu.
Tell me your stories bros, how do you cope?
>>29068070
goddamn nigger is this true? Where in the fuck do you live?
I don't have anything scary like that, but I've lived pretty poor. Ant colony in the walls, no money for food, etc. Immediately I coped by doing stuff I like, such as 4chan, but long-term you gotta think of a plan to get out. No matter how outlandish, just make something up so you have some hope.
>get off bus
>Immediately confronted by middle aged black woman
>Asks me for a dollar so she can get a pop or something from Church's
>Tell her I don't have any money.
>Freaks the fuck out
>I power walk away.
>>29068113
100% true. I'm afraid that calling the cops will make me a target. I usually just hide and keep a weapon (kitchen knife, belt, broom handle) handy until the shit kinda calms down. Then I move to my bathtub and watch videos on my laptop.
I live in a shitty awful pocket of LA. Just moved here for the summer.
