Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1087. page
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This happened yesterday
>Parents on holiday trip, i am alone at home for a week
>Talking with girl i know on facebook
>solid 8/10
>"Hey, its summer, dont you have a lot of free time?"
>"Yeah, don't you?"
>"Yeah... why don't you come over and we watch a film or make a cake or something?"
>Oh my god did i just invited a girl
>"Why not"
>jizzalittle.jpg
>She comes 2 hours later
>Talk for a bit, we laugh, everything goes pretty ok
>We sit on the sofa and we start making up, we didnt even put a film
>We go to my bed
>we get naked
>itshappening.exe
>"Wait a sec"
>i had a box with condoms i bought like a year ago, didnt get laid since that
>Open box
>empty
>wat
>I remember that i fucking used all of them to put things up my ass and masturbate
times you cucked yourself
um.. couldnt you just have oral sex with one another?
>needing Mr. Trojan to tell you when you can cum and when you cant
Yeah you're cucked alright
>>29545328
Never cucked myself.
Go on with the story
>>29545328
>make a cake
What the fuck
i want tendies, but i do NOT want to leave the house
Does anywhere deliver tendies?
Oakland here
>>29545326
Make your own , if you want some help just ask :)
>>29545326
PROTIP: Most major grocery store chains will deliver your order for a fee.
Umm your closest choice maybe something like Wingstop, just order it through doordash.
Memes aside, is this album severely overrated or what?
white chick on twitter here, it's totally overrated bruh, listen to [unfunny woman doing the same shit but worse] instead
>>29545334
I meant to say underrated, chill brah. I'm going to delete this and repost.
>>29545303
What's the name of the album son?
does the fishy smell a woman has during her period bother you?i can always smell when a woman is on her period
>>29545235
>i can always smell when a woman is on her period
I don't think I could really tell
but i don't really spend a lot of time around women anyways
honestly I am just bumping this thread because that OP picture is super cute post more like that
>>29545235
Why do you have images of little kids in your computer?
>>29545544
because it annoys you
>mental disorder
>autism
>social alienation
and now:
>blood in stool (on and off for several months)
Where is the opt out button guys
>>29545216
working my way to killing my self, senpai
i know those feels. don't shit blood tho, but the whole autism alienation thing i am down with. only a person that looks forward to death dies fulfilled. remember this.
>>29545216
>blood in stool (on and off for several months)
That's hemorrhoids. Eat a better diet, drink more water, try not to sit down all the time (this one's probably the most important). Then it'll go away.
>>29545273
I'll try it, thanks, this actually made me feel better.
I fear it could be celiac disease though. It's in the family and from what I know, my brother started having this when he was about my age as well. I got tested a couple years back but afaik things can change.
I don't think I could deal with that on top of everything else.
Who else here is still looked after by mummy?
>don't know how to cook or clean
>can't be bothered learning
>will just leech my parents until they die and then kill myself/ bring down others with me because I can.
>>29545186
im 27 with a real job but i still live and home and mommy still does my laundry :)
How can you not know how to clean? In general, it's pretty much taking a cleaning product, taking a paper towel and just scrubbing it on the dirty surface.
>>29545218
I've never even picked up and looked at a cleaning product and I'm 25
Anyone here have derealisation? As a sufferer myself, I've created a revolutionary diagnosis and cure.
>http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/54425-what-causes-dpdr-and-how-to-break-out-of-it/
>>29545183
That cat is a real Robot.
>>29545274
Kek. Thanks for the bump.
Thought I'd chime in and say that I read through it. Very nice. I can't utilize it, I don't have depersonalization nor derealization but someone's sure to find use with it.
Can you articulate what it feels like when it flares up? I tend to think that the sensation of things that are familiar seeming unreal, alien or what have you would be pleasurable.. or at the very least neat. Though I know it's a source of distress for the sufferers.
YEEZY YEEZY WHAT'S GOOD IT'S YA BOY MAX B
And a mup da doo didda po mo gub to you too, young lady.
Stay wavvy
YOU A WAVY DUDE YOU ALREADY KNOW
>Cute girl with big booty (my favorite) in front of me in checkout
>She's even dancing a little and jiggling her booty in front of me
>Sneak a couple of pics
>Come home and look at pics and pretend she's my gf
>Pretend she's dancing for me
Am I at the bottom of the barrel now?
>>29545172
Hop on the feeltrain robro
>>29545172
Creepshotting is pretty bad, anon. You really shouldn't do it... pretty fucking creepy.
post pics already you autistic nigger
>you will never have a gf
does it get any better?
>>29545000
Wait, what? Hips can't move on their own? Mine actually do sometimes.
>>29545000
I'm the phoney, should I get off this board?Yes, I've even tasted my own cum.
Im denialist and mommy issues with a 3.5/10 face, autism and obesity
tfw no trap gf
yl?
>>29544972
>yl?
what does this stand for?
>>29545217
it means why live senpai
>>29544972
tfw too manly to become a trap
Is it weird to anyone else
That people are constantly having sex. Like you see a couple down the street, they were fucking last night. That girl jogging, she got the dick two days ago, that old lady, she is doing it once a week
>>29544958
people are pathetic animals, what else is new
>>29544958
It creeps me out desu senpai. And makes me jelly, of course, because I will never have this.
>>29544958
Younger people (upper limit of maybe 25) are actually pretty sexless as far as I understand, not robot levels of course, but still not actually having that much sex. Couples are of course an exception.
>tfw your ass is so hairy it's like shitting through a net
>>29544954
>tfw it takes half an eternity to wipe
I onced shaved it and it was great for two weeks but it just grows back and it's so hard and awkward to shave it as well. Maybe I'll wax my asscrack one day, thick hair is literally hell.
Honestly I just take a shower then proceed to rip out all the hairs around my asshole. It works pretty well and doesn't hurt that much.
>>29544954
>tfw everytime you wipe anus there's a bit of blood in the paper
Does anyone have a list of the more well known namefags/tripfags that are still at least somewhat active?
>>29544900
Please respond I'm trying to make something
It's better not to give these people unnecessary attention.
Here are some I know about.
Is this the kind of shit you're trying to make?
>be 22
>virgin
>yesterday
>sit on couch browsing stuff on phone
>suddenly messenger is ringing
>it's the cute girl that i kissed once at a uni party but blew it with because when she asked if i'd go home with her i just said i'd rather sleep at my own place
>i decline because i think she called by accent
>she calls again
>rushes down to my room to talk with her
>trembling
>"hi anon, how's it going? what have you been doing today?"
>converse a little bit
>she's a little tipsy
>"hey anon, how virgin was it you said you were?"
>"u-uh, well we kissed that one time"
>more conversing
>"so when are you coming?"
>it is basically a bootycall
>past midnight so no busses going until like hours later
>ihavenowayofgettingtoyou.jpeg
>convo somehow ends
>lay in bed, freaked out. what's happening?
>1 hour 30 min pass
>she calls again
(cont.)
does no one know how to pretype? Jesus christ the niggers on this site
>>29544789
>hey anon, how virgin was it you said you were?
wut
OC
>>29544789
>hey anon, how virgin was it you said you were?
lmao
I am SO virgin
but honestly OP I don't think this is a good way to lose your virginity, to some drunk slag
then again my opinions are worthless and I probably won't lose my virrginity ever so idk
