Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 961. page
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So I'm 18 and I've been masturbating from the prone position (laying on my stomach thrusting my dick into a rolled up blanket) since I hit puberty.
Turns out my dick is going to be permanently fucked in the long run because of this and I can't masturbate conventionally.
I'm still a virgin but I'm reading that this will also make it extremely difficult to orgasm in actual sex.
Fuck guys not like I was ever gonna get laid anyway.
and where did you read this from, literally r3ddit?
>>29600115
I've practically broken my dick, only death grip works for me but like you said I wasn't going to get laid anyway
it's best to start transitioning early. it's really your only hope at this point.
ITT: Give a vague description/hint about what your fetish is.
Try to guess other robots' fetishes.
Fetish is a gratuitous word for taste in porn.
I like being very quiet and still and useful.
riddle me this riddle me that i lay down face up and lick like a cat
3 Asian girls rode past my house on bikes
>they went up and down the street a few times
>the last time they rode by 2 of them were smiling and one waved at me and said hi
>I said 'h-hi' without smiling
Son of a bitch
I really like Asians too. I think I sperged out
what were you doing, hanging out on the porch?
>>29600807
Its summer time. I don't like to be indoors as much as other robots.
I don't want to go to work, I just want to lay on my floor and listen to melancholy music all night.
Why did I have to be a wagecuck?
>>29600049
Fake a mental breakdown and move back in with your mom
>>29600079
Not op but Hmmmmm
>>29600079
>fake a mental break down
>fake
Dudes, What the fuck did I wrong?
>Invite my oneitis into a pen and paper round
>She flirts with a beta guy
>After a few weeks they are a couple
Cheer me up, bros
Shameless self bump. This is a real story ;_;
>>29600041
>beta squabbles over the sacred pussy they're so lacking of
You deserve this suffering for having a oneitis.
>tfw tomoko gfs don't exist
>Wanting a shallow whore
It's like you demand to be cucked m8
Tomoko is a narcissistic bitch
I feel like there are plenty of women out there who fit that bill
Tomoko probably isn't even a virgin anymore
Within 10 years, data leaks will expose everything everybody's been doing online
>All of your Google searches
>All your porn watching habits
>All your posts and comments, including those on 4chan
>All of your texts and facebook posts
The internet today feels so wild and free and anonymous, but this is a temporary illusion. ISP's and websites know exactly who you are. Even if you try to use a proxy, data miners can still match proxy to person by mapping your browsing habits and tracing them back to you.
Everything you do on the internet is entirely public, you just don't know it yet.
It will be the fappening times a million
nice blog post, where do i unsubscribe?
I'm quite boring in reality but my internet activity probably paints quite the fucked up picture of me since I like to google about various extreme life experiences just out of curiosity
for example right now I'm reading about what it's like to have heroin withdraws and I was just reading about why veterans have such bad suicide rates, so google probably thinks I live the worst life possible just from the past hour
>>29600105
>>29599925
If everyone on this planet has a fucked up internet search/post (which they do), then we will compare ourselves in the absolute most rawest, less-judgemental way because we will see a new definition of what it means to be 'normal' and 'human'
BUT (CP is still CP and fuck you go to jail pedophile faggots)
>What's the fastest way to make a femanon absolutely crazy about you?Rape her.
>What's the difference between a femanon and a dog?Dogs don't orgasm when you rape them.
>How do you stop a femanon from cheating on you?Don't let her out of your rape dungeon.
>What do femanons say when you make love to them?Nooooooooooooooooooooo!
Oh em gee i luv edgie humur! So fahny!
>>29599958
Check this roastie getting toastie. Top fucking lel get out.
>>29599958Get raped, cunny bunny.
How's that diet going for you, fat robot bros?
Shut up, I'm bulking up.
fine i guess
i'll just eat 1k-1.2k forever with the exception of going to like 1.5k on some days.
>>29599897
I'm an uber manlet and I have a bit of a belly (140 pounds at 5'3"). I look like a little kid. My beard genetics suck too. I realized the least I can do work out and try to achieve a perfect body.
For about a 2 month now, I've been eating 1500 calories a day. I've lost like 2 pounds max (and I'm not even sure if that's accurate, I have a wonky scale). I realized that I needed to be eating something closer to 1300 (my TDEE is ~1800). I hope I make it bros.
Tell me how you feel robots. How are you holding up?
Personally, anhedonia is really sucking the life out of me. Also I get irrationally angry at the smallest things now.
I'm slowly losing it aren't I?
>>29599894
>. Also I get irrationally angry at the smallest things now.
>I'm slowly losing it aren't I?
anhedonia is made up, and jerking off to traps it gay.
>>29599894
I am anxious as fuck and nauseous and it sucks balls
>>29599919
I have never jerked to traps and do agree that it is very gay.
I disagree that anhedonia is made up. For instance, I play videogames and don't feel any better when I do. I ask myself why I keep playing, and the only answer I can come up with is "I always have".
my windows are open at night, so these little fruitflies keep coming in attracted by the light of my monitor. This makes me have to keep squishing them when the land on the monitor and makes loads of stains (maybe 100 flies from a few nights).
Should i close my windows and sleep in heat and stuffiness, or leave them open?
>>29599884
Get a screen for windows, should keep bugs out
>>29599884
40 Oz. to freedom. Great album anon
>>29601370
>said every 16 year old stoner
NEW TINYCHAT, JOIN ELIZADEAL FOR QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT tinychat com elizadeal
>>29599872
Bumperinuh
>>29599872
BUMP WEUFWEFWEFEWF
>>29599872
BUMP wfewfewefwwe
who /summer classes/ here?
>tfw taking calculus 2
>spergy kid decides to take the seat next to me on first day
>makes weird noises and stares
>has an aid and clearly cant help himself
>don't want to sit by him, but also don't want to change seats now and look like an asshole
>>29599845
I am taking calc 3
i missed the first week of class
there are only 8 weeks of class
i think I am already fucked
>>29599845
change sits idiot. Why would you care what some autist thinks of you?
>>29599845
It's college man there's no designated seats, just move the next class
>tfw no KayKay gf
that feeliewheelie when no rich big boobed gee ef who will have sexy sex with me
Life iz suffering :,,,(((
I want very badly to smell her feet.
she really is quite a babe i think
how do you do something "meaningful", instead of just fapping?
>call up hospice center
>tell them you want to volunteer
>give good feels to people who are about to die
>never tell anyone you do it
>never shitpost about it
this is what most of us do in our free time on r9k. we just don't like to talk about it out of respect for the hospice residents.
>>29599878
can confirm. been doing this ever since I turned 18. I see other robot volunteer there all the time.
I find a great deal of satisfaction from the fact that I do absolutely nothing and I live extremely comfortably, I don't know how many millions of shit-coloured people have to work every day just to have water and food and maybe a corner somewhere to sleep, but I've beaten them all without ever trying, and I'm riding this out for as long as I can, and when it's finished I'm just gonna gracefully kill myself.
