Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7087. page
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For Christmas all I want is pictures of anime girls that never open their eyes
chenenen
best onee-chan
>>25250422
Anything for Akari.
>At girlfriends parents house for Christmas
>A lot of people
>Friends, friends friends, her family
>After a day of socializing with her family/friends, we're pretty tired
>In her room talking
Gf: What do you think about non-romantic sex?
Me: What about it?
Gf: Have you ever thought about it?
Me: Do you mean an open relationship?
Gf: Yeah.. something like that. I mean like without having feelings for the other person
Me: Have I ever thought about sleeping with other girls? Yeah I guess, but I'm in a monogamous relationship with you.
Gf: But what about if it's non romantic
Me: Do you want to sleep with other guys? Non-romantically?
Gf: Well like... I just wanted to know what you thought? Like is it something you'd be comfortable with?
Me: Do you want to?
Gf: Well no... but like.. if one day-
>Get up
>Don't respond
>Walk out her room
>Behind me "Anon..? Anon? ANON?!"
>Grab my coat off the coat rack near the front door
>Open front door
>Walk out
>Get in car
>Start car
>Gf in front of me yelling on the verge of tears "Anon.. ANON! I.. I'm sorry I'm so sorry!
>Back up car out of driveway
>Roll down window
>Give her a face like pic related
>Drive off
(continue..)
Also, I did the right thing, right? I dodged a bullet, right?
>>25250305
What did happen afterwards?
And yes you did right never ever let yourself get cucked
>>25250305
Nice bullshit story fag
>>25250305
yeah. not simply because you avoided being cucked, but because she actually dared to bring such a thing up.
>start talking to qt3.14 at school
>things are going great
>never thought anything would happen but talking to a cute girl gave me self confidence
>all of a sudden outta nowhere get a text
>'wanna meet up anon? i got some cool music we can listen to and some drinks!'
>holyshitsurething.png
>we spend the entire day just listening to music and talking
>not too much alcohol, we both had a couple beers
>end of the day, i get up to go
>'t-thanks for the nice day! its been swell!'
>she puts hand on my thigh
>wtfareyoudoingbutthisisnice.gif
>'you're so sweet anon, im really attracted to you'
>are u fucking serious
>get down to the dirty
>well not really
>i grope the tiddy, she pulls down my pants
>starts rofling at my small dick
>tells me i can go home now
are normies for fucking real? i had a friendship with this girl for 2 fucking years and we're perfect for eachother and she completely writes me off because of my small pecker. she even keeps blanking me at school and doesn't respond to my texts. if not her, then who fellow /bots/?
>>25250213
dodged a bullet
she really didnt care for you if it took your dick size to leave you
You should save your cum in jar for a month and then dump it on her and run away
oh no. no no no.
noooo.
nooooooooooo.
>got a backpage hooker on tuesday
>9/10 qt for $300
>practically fall in love with her
>asked her to spend Christmas with me
>asks me how much money will I spend
>tell her $500 if she comes to a family christmas party for 2 hours and pretends to be my gf
>she accepts
>be today
>she shows up in Christmas attire looking extra qt
>doesn't look like a prostitute at all
>introduce her to everyone at the party
>long story short she gets really drunk
>her "ghetto" lingo kept getting stronger the drunker she got
>she goes into the bathroom to use her cell phone
>shes talking to someone over time and prices
>holy shit she's about to blow my cover
>I talk loud to other relatives to override her hooker talk
>that one moment of silence all you hear is "if he got blow then I'll work with that"
>I instantly lock eyes with my aunt
>she heard it
>God damn it
Never again /r9k/. Please learn from my mistakes.
>>25250189
>I talk loud to other relatives to override her hooker talk
>that one moment of silence all you hear is "if he got blow then I'll work with that"
>I instantly lock eyes with my aunt
God dammit bro were you THAT desperate?
>>25250189
i thought this was gonna be some work xmas party. why bring a hooker to your family? thats moronic, and the risk of getting found out is pretty high
>>25250280
I'm 26 and never had a gf to show my family, I think they were starting to think I was either gay or just an ultimate sperg
It sounded like a good idea at the time
IM GOING TO FUCKING TEXT HER FUCK SOMEBODY STOP ME I CANT DEAL WITH THIS LONELYNESS I NEED YOUUUUUUUUU
>>25250127
You know it's not worth it
Hehe, I love this board
don't do it broseph
Why does Columbine feel so... different, from other shootings?
>>25250101
It happened before the internet took off.
>>25250101
It wasn't a hoax
>>25250203
hahahahahahah
oh
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
Who else /fuckblanket/ here for masturbating? I have an amazing plush blanket that I always used for jacking off, but now I can't get hard without the blanket stimulation. Is it possible to reboot off this?
Let me guess--you're circumcised?
>>25250139
Sadly. I've been looking into possibilities for foreskin restoration
>>25250173
You might want to consult a doctor first (one who knows about it).
Starting a glans-recovering project without any medical guidance could end up further damaging your penis if you get it wrong (or if you're just unlucky). There's a guy on the Peyronie's disease forum who got Peyronie's disease from wearing one of those tuggers and doing manual tension.
And it really can't give you a real foreskin, just an imitation.
I feel you on the blanket thing though. As a reboot, you could try fapping with a condom with some warming lubricant in it, instead of using the blanket. Condoms make a decent foreskin prosthesis, mechanically speaking. Of course, they don't have any feeling in them like a real foreskin does, but they do glide like one if you put some lube inside and slide it up and down your shaft with your hand.
Does anyone hate that they were born during this time, where we're getting advanced enough to travel the stars, yet not quite there yet? Do you wish you were born just a few decades, or even centuries, later, where you could visit other planets and maybe even interact with different intelligent lifeforms? I hate knowing that I'll die without ever experiencing any of this. That I'll die without knowing if we were all truly alone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB7C7BgxEWw
original bump ayy lmao
>you will never live in a time where humanity has developed an efficient and functioning engine for space travel
Honestly, I'd rather live in the past.
Protip: There may not be a future, sempai
What did Santa get you, robots?
I'll start:
>laptop
>Beats by Dr.Dre earphones
>Turtle beach headset
>150 euros
I believe this area of 4chan isn't supposed to be for rich normie fucks
>>25249757
Honestly fucking stand on a desk and blow your head off in your 10th grade classroom next week you insensitive inconsiderate normie piece of fucking shit
>>25249757
I spent Christmas alone
>met a guy on cl
>he only lives 20min from me
>i drive over to his house
>we talk about games a bit
>then he sucks my dick but stops right before i was about to cum
>i lay on his bed face down with my ass up
>he lubes me up
>he slides his cock in slowly
>once i'm nice and loose he beings to pound my ass with his 8.5 inch cock until he cums inside me
>feels warm and squishy
>i lay on his bed with my ass full of cum for an hour or so just sucking his balls and playing with his dick
>took a shower together
>drove back home
>now on /fgg/
i'm not even gay. i just did this cause i can't get any girl to like me
felt pretty good though. i got his number and he's gonna fuck my brains out again tomorrow
my ass is sore right now but it feels very good
so /r9k/, why not let a chad pound your ass at least until you can get a gf? his cock was fucking huge, perfect thickness and his ballsack was fat and hung low. every time he pounded my ass his ballsack slapped against my asscheeks and that just made me hornier and hornier
i recommend it
>i'm not even gay
Bad news friendo.
>>25249734
>>25249766
thats not gay, the other guy sucked op's dick first
Fuck off Satan
Jager
>Last hour of Crimbo
>Still haven't had anyone wish me a happy Christmas
>>25249685
Ok
Bloc
Happy Christmas you beautiful man.
>>25249685
Maybe because it's Merry Christmas you dumb fuck
>Tfw just masturbated on Christmas
God, what is wrong with me?
>>25249640
dont worry u wont be the only one m8
not masturbating on Christmas sounds like the bigger crime. Santa got me a vibrator and I went at it for an hour.
>>25249678
>Santa
Boy I really hope you've got a bf and that wasn't just a gift from a relative
Who else here can't make eye contact with people?
After i have eye contact with people even relatives i quickly look away, not sure if this is a self esteem thing or not.
Any of your robots also have this?
For me it isn't. Eye contact is for being aggressive. If I want to piss someone off I look them in the eye but I can't look at my parents in the eye because it confuses me.
Yea, I just look at something else in their direction when I talk to people
I'm as autistic as it gets but I always look people in the eyes. I compare them to my shit brown-eyes.
when you know some fucking delicious Rule 34 porn is gonna get made for a movie before It even comes out :^]
Looks like typical uninspired Disney shit, unfortunately. All the promotional material is just animals taking selfies. And they keep trying to push talking animals as a totally novel concept.
Obviously there's going to be porn, and obviously I'm going to masturbate to it, but I won't like it.
>>25249848
I legitimately thought it was a movie made for furries when i saw the poster. I lost my shit seeing that bouncy bunny ass in the trailer
Get made? Dude that shit hit the net the day the script was greenlit.
Getting desperate this christmas...
>>25249544
men aren't like women yo, we don't get desperate to "settle".
nice try op.
Just fuck her you faggot.
its like "oh yes, i am in such a hurry to become a legal slave to somebody im not even attracted to and probably don't like or find interesting."
