Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5259. page
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>tfw a girl in high school told me "You'll never lose your virginity, anon."
>she was right
she wanted it
How long ago was high school? You might be able to get a pity fuck if you tell her she was right.
>>26591821
the bottom of this sweater makes it look like she's wearing a diaper
please, i know this is a gay ass edit of a game for 12 year olds but i gotta find out the song so any sauce will go miles for me
https://vine.co/v/iiHXKp10g0b
>naw
>naw i ant putting this thread to sleep till i get some god damn closure
>someone tell me this fucking song
no srsly
whats THE FUCKING SONG
I have to study hard for the next 3 days as I have 2 exams on Monday, any tips?
Maybe don't be retarded and you won't need to study.
Let it go
E
T
I
T
G
O
>>26591796
u 1st bbycakes
memes aside, Catie would be one of the best girlfriends or wife a man could ever have. Whoever she is with is a very lucky man (or woman).
>living meme gf
>catie the human rat
I remember back when I used to post on Unichan and we'd all basically sit around waiting for her to come back.
was a weird and pretty pathetic time for me desu
Who else /word aversion/ here? The following words cause me to cringe internally when I hear them, and I refuse to say them:
>tasty
>egg(s)
>stink(y)
>smelly
>fart
>poop
I honestly don't know how I can be this autistic about something and still function like I have. Even my girlfriend doesn't know about my word aversion. I find ways around these words in conversation so that I don't have to say them. Even typing them was difficult.
holy shit that picture is creepy
>stinky
dont do this to me OP
>>26591660
Forgot to add:
>yummy
>delectable
And to a lesser degree:
>delicious
Literally all I can bring myself to say is that something tastes really good. I cannot use any other adjectives. >>26591726
Found it in a hmmm thread
Is marketing a meme degree?
One of the memeist, actually. Even women's studies is more academically respectable, and as far as usefulness goes, it's like a business degree for exceptionally dumb people.
>>26591446
is business not meme enough? come on anon
not only that, but only shit colleges or community colleges offer marketing degrees
>>26591446
probably not, it has to do with general business and that makes for a broadly applicable degree.
the roll of paper only exists to get your foot in the door.
>live in castle
>brother is trying to kill me
>invent vinegar with spray action to avoid blobbing vinegar everywhere whe you put it on your food, you know
>fine mist vinegar action for tasty food
>everyone loves me
>end
that's it
what's yours, bots?
>>26591331
I die in every dream. Every single one.
I know you can't dream with people you actually haven't seen before.
But my last dream involved me and a bunch of unknown people, and I was really getting along with one of the girls in the dream.
It was a two plant building and I can't remember very well if I was working there.
But I didin't feel anxiety
I was laughing, something I haven't done long ago.
I was talking
It felt like I was happy. But I can't remember why.
>>26591469
i've had girlfriends in dreams, anon
i've felt happy and i know what it feels like to wake up from that
hope you're feeling ok man
>Grabbed pictures from random attractive guy's Instagram.
>Ask for hookups.
>65 matches in 11 hours.
>Two of them are my classmates.
>They message me first.
>Talk like a sperg, they're still interested.
>Make real Tinder profile with my pictures (6.5/10).
>Don't ask for hookups, be funny.
>13 matches in 2 months, 4 of them bots.
You will never experience this.
>>26591266
Wow you mean using an app that was entirely made for hookups over relationships will result in you being more successful when asking for hookups?
>>26591266
Ugly girls probably get the same treatment anon.
>>26591284
Most girls write I matched with wrote "not interested in hookup".
>>26591289
Doubt it, even ugly fatties can have sex on demand.
There's always a guy willing to do it.
>Wanting an older, busty woman to hold you close, bow her head until it rests on top of yours while her hair drapes down, and simply hug you until you grow tired of standing
>Wanting an older woman to pet your head and say it's okay to cry in her arms
>Wanting an older woman to be legitimately shocked when you say you love her right before she calms down, lets out a small tired chuckle followed by a small reply that she's just surprised you'd fall in love with an old hag like her
>Wanting an older woman to subtley and unintentionally make remarks about her age only to blush and become flustered when you take her self-depreciating humor too seriously and tell her to stop it because she's beautiful
>Wanting an older woman to climb under the sheets with you, hold you close, and let you touch her in places that she hasn't felt another's hands on in an eternity
>Wanting an older woman to gently headpat you
>Wanting an older woman to slowly, and shyly, show you her nether regions as she asks you to be gentle because she believes you to be some rabid, youthful, machine under the sheets
>Wanting an older woman to be pleasantly surprised and hold you close between her large breasts as she gently sighs and wraps her thick legs around you reassuring you it's okay to cum inside her while she gazes at you with teary and lusty eyes
>Wanting to fall asleep in an older woman's arms with the room smelling faintly of women's perfume, sweat, and sex
>Wanting to wake up to an older woman in a naked apron asking you 'Ara ara~ do you want breakfast, a bath, or perhaps...' right before she breaks into laughter at how silly it sounded
>Wanting an older woman to gently sigh, and with her lusty relaxed eyes tell you 'honey, last night was wonderful. I love you.'
Those of you who are into this are fucking weird.
>tfw get old enough that aneki/neesan/cake gfs become imoutos
I want to be 12 again and suffocate in hucow tits
>>26591217
I have an obsessive non-incest /ss/ fetish. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Thanks, OP. I was getting tired of being in a good mood.
Anons. I have come here to share my prophecy with you. From what I had observed, global warfare is brewing out of the conflicts within many nations. As I feared, even the smaller conflicts are starting to engulf more nations and tribes into the battlefield. This upcoming war will be unlike all wars that have come before. Battles will not be fought for country or for honour but for ideologies. It will be a war not between nations but between people. The world where we are all connected with technology has done nothing to unite us together as a species and tensions amongst the people and the government are boiling the very bases of civilization as we know it. Weapons of such inhumane and awe-shocking nature will be employed to such a scale that I fear that Humanity will not survive until our species can learn to work together for the greater good. I fear though, that life as we know it will change for the worse as the conflicts around the world erupt. My suggestion for all of you is to not pick a side with anyone, stock up on plenty of food, water, and power. I fear that great nations of the world will seize to exist. Communities and cities will be seriously affected by the upcoming war. A war to not end all wars, a war not to unite us a a whole but a war to end the world. Please anons, I suggest you do everything in your power to prevent this from happening or at the very least, save yourself from the conflict and live on to ensure humanities survival as a species. Be compassionate with others, as compassion in this world has seize to exist. We all have enemies but I request that you settle on good terms to avoid brewing this global conflict. The fate of humanity is in your hands now.
I already attempt to be more compassionate. My words and efforts are rather meaningless in the grand scheme of things. I'll attempt to continue, though.
By the way OP, how did you come up with this prophecy?
>>26591095
I really do try.
But it always ends up coming back to bite me.
What's the point in doing good if it only helps evil?
Who /desensitized to naked female bodies/ here? It's like unless it's absolutely an amazing body on an amazing beautiful girl, it's just like looking at cattle desu.
Women have devalued themselves so much.
>>26591092
I don't find porn arousing unless I'm high on stims.
>>26591115
what type of stims
>still liking women in 2016
>tfw no mommy to give you kisses and practice with
>>26591087
>practice
>implying she'd ever let you go
>>26591277
Nothing wrong with that 2bh
>tfw my mom kissed me with tongue while rubbing my ass earlier today
>tfw even this fat fuck is married
>literal NEET on disabilitybux
>met his wife before youtube fame and money
>she had to pay his rent in the beginning
>"she saw potential in him" "loves him for who he is"
What's your excuse?
gosh you guys are pathetic.
>>26591085
agreed, for real.
>>26591085
he lucked out and got one of the few good ones.
>>26591085
he seriously must have a 12 inch dick or something
the best music of the early 2000's before 2007 came around and fucked everything up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCiDuy4mrWU
>before 2007 came and fucked everything up
wanna know how I know you're age 16-20?
>>26591111
2007 was pretty shitty for music desu
>>26591076
music from 2000-2007 was pretty gay
who /funny walk/ here
i've been told i walk with kind of a limp
>>26591000
>walking normally
>see person walking towards me
>suddenly cant walk straight
>dont know what to do with my arms
>dont know were to look
>get anxious because they might greet me
>feel like im starting to walk too fast
>>26591030
This right here. Walking manually is the worst thing. I have nightmares about it, where I'm crossing a road and I forget how to walk so I just keep falling down until I get run over.
>walking funny since birth
>an accident screwed my right leg
>walking even funnier now
Once I overheard people across the street saying "look at that dude" while pointing at me
They weren't even laughing, just amazed and confused
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/stsehk7.jpg "maxresdefault[1]")
![maxresdefault[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Dv9xDyA.jpg "maxresdefault[1]")
