Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3700. page
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when I was a child, up until I hit puberty, my mum used to give me "hair tickles". I've had a hair fetish ever since, and I feel like going into more detail.
My mum had long, golden hair down to her waist. It was incredibly soft, silky and thick. I would be lying on my back on the bed/sofa with my shirt off and my arms stretched out above my head, exposing my chest and stomach. My mum would brush her hair and sometimes back-comb it to make it extra fluffy. Then, she would let it loose all over my naked upper body. She would drag it up and down, side to side, shake it all over, swing it, bounce it up and down, starting slowly and getting quicker until she was practically whipping me with her hair. It felt amazing. With each repetitive movement, my skin would become more sensitive to the touch. I'm currently sat here trembling at the thought of all this.
I would be very grateful if anyone could write a story about this scenario, or even better, describe (in detail) similar situations that happened to anyone else.
Bumping. Thread got deleted on /b/ for some reason.
>>28062951
the thread was deleted on /b/ because the place is a mindless wasteland of roll threads,ylyl, and porn
No love for hair tickles?
redpill me on /nofap/
>>28062376
It's good, there, there's your red pill
It doesn't really do anything to you unless you're the kind of guy who masturbates 5 times a day.
We had this thread yesterday, and the day before, too. We established it's a waste of effort. Now fuck off.
>be a neet
>decide to become a wagecuck so you can afford few things
>2 months of wagecuckery passed
>don't want to buy those things anymore
>don't want to do anything at all
just fuck me up senpai
>>28062355
>be neet
>don't want to do anything
>become a wagecuck
>still don't want to do anything but now I have money to do nothing with
wew what a life
>>28062355
>be a NEET
>manipulate the world from the shadows
>use the billions of dollars obtained from screwing with normalfags, wagecucks, etc combined with autismbucks to satisfy my animu and vidya needs
>>28062355
>become wagecuck
>70% of income goes to basic expenses and taxes
Would you rather live in a society where women are like the left or women are like the right?
left, retard
>>28062344
I don't care so long as they don't take away my lewd video games.
>>28062344
Right, as long as the men can also get around in cool garbs like that. I like being covered up and have almost no interest in 3DPD, so it's a win-win for me.
Do you have any friends? I couldn't manage to make any in hs so now i'm all alone.
>>28062311
I was part of this friends group in hs but I never actually did anything with them outside of school. Lost contact with all my other friends, only have one friend outside of that group.
>>28062311
You don't need them. It hurts more when you slowly lose the people you trust one by one anyways.
>>28062311
I only have two friends, but they're good bros.
I also have some drinking pals but I know they wouldn't be there for me if shit's goes down.
OK, guys. Tomorrow is the high school prom, and I've graduated so I'm not going. Unfortunately, the girl I'm desperately in love with is still in high school. I don't know if she's going, but it makes me a little sad. Last homecoming she went with some guy I don't know. It destroyed me. I hate seeing her with other guys. I feel like I have a real shot with her. We talked politics once and agreed on everything. It was amazing.
She once talked about how she didn't enjoy the last prom she went to, which made my heart beam. She's not like all the other high school kids, she's smart, and thinks about meaningful things. I want her so badly. I get depressed when I think of her having fun with someone else. After homecoming, I sat in a dark room and stared at a picture of her in her dress, she looked beautiful, while listening to Chet Baker Sings.
Like I said, I don't even know if she's going, and if she is, she probably won't enjoy it. I just hate the idea of some other guy having his hands all over her. She's said to me that she's not in love with anyone, which I took as a good thing. Maybe she's not in love with me, but at least she's not in love with anyone else. And I actually really think she might like me. I think I have a shot with her. I just don't know how I'm going to feel if I see her looking beautiful in a dress with some other guy's arm around her tomorrow.
How about you guys?
Thread Theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_f_mMJAezM
>>28062304
You fucked up, live with it.
almost fucking blue
>>28062304
you're destined to be her beta orbiter.
Trips for tits. Reroll for info
rolling tbhfam
Why not just show tits?
if i roll trips, i want to watch you drink bleach on cam.
>about to go to a party at some dudes house
>heart already pounding
What the fuck do I do?
Have a couple pre drinks. Calms you down then if you get there and you're acting weird just be like sorry guys guess I overdid it on the pre drinks
>>28062235
I'm in the same situation OP. Currently on the bus sweating bullets. I guess just drink and try and be sociable.
I'll probably end up a corner somewhere listening to Elliott Smith and wishing I was at home playing URF
>>28062235
Pre-Game
Get a couple of drinks before you go to lower your inhibition so you dont feel autistic but not enough to trash early. Maybe 2 to 3 shots of vodka will help
These are the western values you want to protect.
http://m.efukt.com/21367_Cuck_Has_Second_Thoughts.html
Remind me again why you can't give up beer and bacon for pure women? Just give in anon. Islam is the future.
I don't want to get beaten up by the religious police for having my sideburns 1 cm too long.
Also I like drugs and not praying 5 times a day more than women.
Those are not western values my man. Just some corrupt faggots dwelling within our nations.
>>28062142
Would you convert for her?original comment
ITT, "I can't believe I used to fap to this!"
Non-porn edition.
I fapped to images of the Queen when I was an edgy teenager
Why can't you believe you used to jerk off to that?
Neve Campbell was pretty hot in the 90s, especially in Scream 2.
The amount of cum I expelled watching her jerking her boyfriend could fill two swimming pools.
>tfw your 10 year old niece has developed early and she barely wears any clothes at home
Why is life doing this to my dick"?
>>28062122
bribe her with candy and presents
Wear a condom, rub up, smell and cream silently.
No one will ever know.
>>28062162
>Wear a condom
what fun is that
I don't want to talk to people anymore who do anything other than watch anime and play Dwarf Fortress.
You're not allowed to post in this thread unless these are the only two things that you do.
>>28062094
i was already thinking this the last 5 times i saw this thread: the moment i post anything im already doing something different.
>>28062094
I prefer net hack or multi user dungeons.
Space Station 13, anyone wanna teach me how to play?
ITT: We talk of crispy chickie tendies, be them crispy or from Wendy's
I'll start :)
>i wake up for another sing-songy sunshiney funday
>i stretch and yawn as I rip my daily wakey gas, the feeling of liquid splattering against my Magic School Bus undies makes me proud
>i haul myself out of bed, kissing my Nadeko body pillow good morning, but my legs buckle out from under my generous frame
>oh well! I guess I'll have to be a Roly Poly from now on
>i roll over to my GBP chart and check it
>I've saved up a whole 5 GBP! That's a new record I'm SURE mummy will be proud of!
>i roll down the stairs to see what mumsy is up to this wonderful morning
>i slip and crack my nose against the stairpost
>mumma gets up shocked, "Anon are you okay?!"
>i'm bleeding from my nose and it has a weird shape, but I don't care, "mummy mummy, where's the yummy chickie tendies for my tummy?"
>"what?"
>i lift my shirt and begin slapping my tummy like a bongo "your precious little angel has saved five GBP, make some chickie tendies, and make them all for me!"
>"Anon, you know the price for a tendie meal is 20 GBP. And after the Legoland incident you should be grateful that you still have 5 left."
>i freeze. This BITCH, has the fucking GALL, to deprive me of my well deserved poultry cutlets.
>i sit up and begin slamming my feet on the floor angrily and punching my head
>"YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR FAR TOO LONG, TENDIES NOW YOU BITCH OR I SHALL DO YOU WRONG"
>she closes her eyes, "Anon, please calm down..."
>i begin screaming and simultaneously poopooing and peepeeing my pants, but my engine has been burned out and I curl up in my own waste, peacefully sleeping
>i wake up clean and tethered to my bed, a plate of yummy tendies on my tummy with a note from mama jama saying she's sorry for being so harsh and that she's proud of me for being such a good boy
Being a bad boy has its perks, but nothing beats the satisfaction of being mummy's good little boy!
>making tendie memes
>>28062180
I hate how one week it was funny and the next people hated it.
>11pm, i'm in bed
>wake up with a hankering for tendies
>sneak downstairs even though it's past my bedtime
>see mummy and new daddy watching something on tv
>be extra sneaky as i go past to the kitchen
>pull big box of tendies from freezer
>ham-handedly drop it and it makes a loud *THUNK*
>mummy hears it and thinks I'm a burglar
>she whispers worriedly to new daddy
>new daddy rushes out of the room and into the kitchen to investigate
>i panic and shit and piss everywhere in fear
>he gets angry and starts yelling at mummy
>'why the fuck do we have to live with this fucking autistic kid'
>things get heated and he hits mummy
>big mistake
>pick up a fistfull of the shit and throw it in new daddy's face
>i jump on him, throw him to the ground, then sit on his face (i weigh 300 lbs)
>sit there for a while, new daddy stops moving
>command mummy to make me tendies
>she does
>now new daddy needs a special chair he controls with his mouth to get around
>he grimaces every time i walk past
>mummy makes me tendies every day, no quibbles
Does anyone know how to ask a girl out on a date? For the first time in my life I feel like I actually have a chance with this girl but I have no idea what I should ask her to do with me
>>28062077
what do you have in common with her
Testing to see if I kill this thread
I'm in the same boat OP. I want to ask this qt girl out at work next week, I'm just getting really anxious as to how and when to do it.
I'll be lurking for other robot advice.
Even if, EVEN IF, your ideal girl actually existed there's an incredibly small chance you would ever meet her.
Even if you ever did meet her then for true love to exist then you would also need to be her ideal which is statistically impossible
Even if you did find her, there's a near zero chance that she's never be touched sexually by another man
Even if you formed a relationship with her there's near impossibility that she won't fantasize about other men
Holy shit life is terrible. Real love doesn't exist.
It wouldn't suck so badly if you got over your delusion that you need to find your ideal girl to be happy. Many millions of men and women are in happily in loving relationships with partners with whom they're compatible, even though they're not perfect.
>>28062064
Thanks for ruining mah day, OP.
>you will never lift weights with your qt and take a photo of her as she does squats
>>28062064
Statistically "impossible" is still possible.
