Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7643. page
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>wake up
>have a tight, Asian butt pressed against my crotch
>run my hand over her soft tummy
>she turns over, kisses me, and sleepily says good morning
>mfw I know it will be a good day then
Whoever said that 2D > 3D have obviously never had a qt azn grill as their girlfriend.
Robots, do yourself the favor and get yourself a girlfriend.
>>24922615
>have a tight, Asian butt pressed against my crotch
it's full of poo, anon
poo
>>24922615
>Robots, do yourself the favor and get yourself a girlfriend.
ROAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FFAAAAFFHHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
theres no difference between an asian butt and any other kind
My Gf wants me to stick tendies up her ass. What the fuck do I do?
Eat the tendies out of her ass
>>24922600
Say, "NO. These are my tendies," and then eat them all at once.
That's a picture of chicken nuggets.
>text chadfu
>he doesn't text back
how do guys deal with girls not texting them back?
Not giving a shit
Look for a new one. It's a numbers game
The guy who fucks 3 out of the 100 girls he talks to gets laid more than the guy who fucks 1 out 10
>>24922465
>the guy who fucks 2% more than the other guy fucks more
are you some kind of retard?
I am 18 and I have horrible anxiety, I wanna try weed but im afraid it will ruin my cognitive abilities and fuck up my iq.
Any robots with experience on the sticky icky green?
that's a fucking nigger drug stay away from that shit
you wanna grow up to be big and strong like sam don't you?
I'm a robot currently having a massive anxiety attack right now, so I would vote no.
>>24922390
Yeah it's alright if you can manage to stay dedicated to the rest of your life when you're not smoking. I'd say it's risky if you're weak when it comes to getting lazy. I'm also not an expert, but I would think if you just responsibly smoked every once in a while, your IQ shouldn't be too fucked.
>boyfriend calls you mom by accident
he wants to impregnate you
>>24922362
Did it turn you on?
Tell us how it made you feel
>call your sister the nickname you gave your bf
>call your bf your sister's nickname
Guys, I think I'm legit becoming suicidal. Pls halp. How do I become happy?inb4 jus b urself :^)
Its literally all about judgments. You need to make kind judgments about yourself.
The other day I was sleep-deprived and worrying about a test. I told myself that just driving to class is more important than taking the test. If I fail at driving, I die, but if I fail the test, life goes on.
go outside and appreciate nature and realize that you don't need the world in the way you think.
>>24922315
>How do I become happy?
Leave /r9k/
Right now
I'm serious
I shat myself daily from the ages of 8-16
I would wake up in the morning with my underwear full of shit, clean myself off and go to school where my new underwear would be full of shit sometimes by the time I arrived but never later than an hour into the day. It was such a constant flow that I decided there was no point taking multiple changes of boxers so that was me for the rest of the day, when I got the chance I would go to the bathroom to scoop out most of the shit then pull up my stinking boxers and press my butt skin against the cold, slimy cloth for another few hours. Sometimes a viscous chunk would slide down my leg come out of my trouser leg, normally that would be when I'm walking in the corridors where it could be casually discarded among the legs of hundreds of other students though sometimes it would be in the middle of class where I would hide it under my bag and leave as quickly as possible at the end.
> I will be remembered as the shitboy
> I had a hot girlfriend when I was 14
> She is now a lesbian
>>24922297
any reason why you didn't just shit in the toilet?
Is this copypasta? How the hell does someone that shit their pants daily get a gf while I'm still a kissless hugless virgin?
>>24922413
honestly I can't think of a reason, it's just not a thing I was able to do
>>24922433
not copypasta and I have no idea either, I had my first kiss with pants *full* of shit
what would would want your SO's name to be?
i really like elle or melinda
>>24922122
Shalisha
I really like Alice, I think thats the best name
>>24922122
La tay
5 years ago some German university did a study on the prototypical features of attractive faces vs unattractive faces. How do you compare?
>Browner skin
>Narrower facial shape
>Less fat
>Fuller and more symmetrical lips
>Darker eye brows
>More and darker lashes
>Upper half of the face broader in relation to the lower
>Higher cheek bones
>Prominent lower jaw
>More prominent chin
>No receding brows
>Thinner lids
>No wrinkles between nose and corner of the mouth
>>24922113
I'm black, so I don't register on 90% of the population's scale of attractiveness
>>24922214
But black guys are "winning" !!!!!!
>>24922214
Damn. That sucks for you.
>tfw ywn find yourself reluctantly dragged along by family to public/private outing
>By happenstance you stumble upon person/place with some method of clairvoyant mediumship
>The readers start babbling like mad about some ineffable inordinate presence
>ywn Get uncomfortable and dismissive and leave
>yfw medium starts explaining that the "aura" is getting weaker
>tfw ywn find something deep within yourself through a lucid dream
>ywn understand what you're friend meant when he said "look for the red roses"
>ywn understand the significance of the old lady statues
>ywn be able to recreate that dream perfectly and go back to unlock its mysteries
>instead be locked out of it and stuck in reality until you die
i was so close
>>24921918
>tfw ywn lucid dream
>the shadow men who stand by my bed will never stay long enough for me to greet them
>they'll never open the door to their realm for me
>I'll never shear my consciousness from this prison of flesh
>I will never discover the mystery of what lies in the space between spaces
>Hey anon, is it true you're a virgin?
>You do know how to talk to girls, don't you?
Dedicated to >>24921014
I love you, baby.
I had sex once.
I don't really want to talk about it but you can read the full story with no details withheld on my blog. Here, you can find it at this hyperlink
>pull business card out of my oversized sport-jacket pocket and hand it to the girl with the pink hair
>nervous though so I basically just throw it into her lap
>>24921633
>You're going to cover the bill, right?
>Everyone get the fuck down i have gun
>Do what i say and no one gets hurt
>*Order all the girls to lay down on the ground*
>put a bullet in the back of the head of each of them
>women like tall men, because it makes them literally feel like the children that they are.
>>24921561
Kissless virgin detected get out of here this isn't r9k faggot
>>24921561
It's because a large physical stature presents a biological advantage for running, climbing, throwing, reaching things, etc.
>>24921597
>>24921597
Say that to my face bitch, ill slice your fucking neck with my katana.
One slash
So fast you don't even see me move, you amateur I am ascended.
Heh you truely thought you could challenge me.
All while a smug smirk slowly leers from my face.
>Tfw games bore me now
Every video game I play bores the fuck out of me now. I'll play for maybe an hour or two and then I'll get bored and want to do something else. I don't get how people in thier late 20s-30s still enjoy vidya
I stopped a little before I turned 20. I still have them on my computer and open them up when I feel like there's nothing else to do. Once I get to a main menu though I remember how boring games are and just close them again.
I am getting to that point now.
I hope I finally grow tired of the internet.
>mann i hate vidya
>I don't get how people in thier late 20s-30s still enjoy vidya
>why cant they be more like me and stop playing
just dont play itn stop trying ro bring other people in to this nonsense
Alright you fucking faggots, fresh normie in from I Had Sex Four Days Ago, I don't know what you're lives are like but if their shitty it's probably your fault. Ask and you shall receive however.
>need advice to talk to girls? ask
>don't know how to deal with a bully? ask
>can't find a job? ask
>don't know why your step dad Terry drinks all your mountain dew and does loud sex to your mom? Ask!
I will be your guru you slimey bastards, I will let you suckle at my breast till you are strong
>>24921403
Robots live in shrinking, failing comfort bubbles, they could expand them if they challenged themselves and left them, but they refuse to,
they will ask for a cheat code to fix their lives then bitch and shit themselves when told that doesn't exist.
the vast majority of robot suffering is completely self inflicted.
>>24921403
Dont care bout girls or my mothers sex life, but tl;dr
>cant get even the most entry level job
>100+ applications, no callbacks
>literally ZERO references. People I knew from school, had no contact with the outside world since i was 15
>highschool dropout
>>24921681
Gimme an honest run down of your personal hygiene and the condition and appearance of your sharpest suit, also, try studying part time
>old highschool bully is on the IMDB now and getting married
>25 years and I have nothing to show
who /failure/ here?
>Want to become game developer
>Too lazy to start learning C++
>>24921446
Buy cocaine, get a loan, start a company, pay someone to code your game for you.
You can't be lazy on cocaine.
Ran into an old friend from high school this evening at the store. Had a quick chat before he said he need to get back to his fiance and child. We're both 23.
