Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7639. page
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>tfw you cum all over yourself and forgot a toilet paper roll
Feelings only some people know thread.
just rub it on your tummy like some sort of cream, thats what I used to do before starting to use paper
>>24924522
hahahahahahaha
I did this too.
>"tummy"
>>24924496
get an empty water bottle
keep it in your room
ejaculate into it
problem solved
Everyone knows that feel brother
Even THIS guy has a gf
>Transager
I want off this earth
>transager
Please be from a satirical news site. Please
>>24924615
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/stefonknee-wolschtt-transgender-father-leaves-family-in-toronto-to-start-new-life-as-a-six-year-old-a6769051.html
lol
ITT: Failed normie girls find failed normie guys to get to know and flirt with for the next few hours in an attempt to dampen our soul-crushing loneliness.
>>24923596
Does any femanons wanna try on my fedora?
there are no girls here
any failed normie guys want to practice
>>24923596
there's an entire board for this
>>>/soc/
Who else is voting trump?
I literally give 0 fucks about the future of America but holy shit if he wins that will be some fun shit to watch
would be more fun to not vote for him and watch him lose after thinking he had a shot.
>>24923230
terrible reason to exercise your privilege of voting, mate
however I too am voting trumpers because lesser of two evils (assuming he gets the nomination)
>>24923252
No fucking way
I'm with OP, it'd be funny if he won.
>>24923122
Why this girl in particular?
>>24923160
she looks like she'd be nice to pee on
I FUCKING TOLD YOU. I FUCKING TOLD YOU DIDNT I???
IT FUCKING HURT. IT FUCKING HURT KNOWING THAT I WAS JUST ANOTHER FUCBOI YOU TALK TO ONLINE.
IM SORRY IT HAPPENED TO YOU. IM SORRY YOU HAD SUCH A SHIT LIFE. BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE DO.
AND YOU WERE SO FUCKING YOUNG. YOU WANTED TO SAVE EVERYTHING. BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED YOURSELF. I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT SO BAD.
but im glad you turned out alright. you didnt lose interest or give up hope entirely. and thats good.
>>24923715
i don't know what this has to do with my pee-drinking gf, anon
who else has a myriad of health issues that they just ignore?
>shins often hurt
>pretty sure I have scoliosis
>chest pain occasionally, never severe but very annoying, often goes away when I burp or fart a bit, probably mild heartburn or something
>my stomach feels bloated and hurts often
>occasional very sharp pain under my ribs on my right hand side, research tells me it's likely gall bladder problems, but could be liver, kidney, ulcer etc, this is the most concerning one desu, feels like I'm fucking dying
>I have really bad gas very often, I feel like this could be related to some of my other issues, probably sensitive to gluten or lactose or something
probably some other shit I'm forgetting
and I just ignore them all and keep eating like a pig and not exercising.
just fuck my shit up desu senpaitachi, how do I motivate myself to live healthily?
>>24923062
holy SHIT
i didnt read your post but damn that image is hot
I don't want to get /fit/ senpaitachi, just want to not feel like I could drop dead whenever
how do normies do it?
>>24923062
I know all about those chest pains, anon. My left arm also loses all strength and starts to hurt all of its own accord as well.
Beyond that, all the other problems I have are related to booze in one way or another.
>tfw no mommy gf
Share feels, or if you actually managed to get one greentext it.
>>24922336
I have one (kinda)
>be sixteen year old self
>social retard and outcast by my own doing, despite being charismatic and somewhat attractive
>start porn blogon tumblrfor sadism/dominance/etc
>discover gift for writing
>acquire a few thousand followers over the months
>tons of grills orbiting, feelsgood
>one has been pestering me for awhile
>looks qt in her profile picture, start talking to her
>share literally every single fetish imaginable
>she has a dom streak, I have a small sub streak
>has a mommy side
cont?
>>24922481
Pls cont anun
>>24922481
PLZ CONT. i want mommy plz
So I was put in charge of the bar the other night after our bartender left, so I guess I'll hold the keep again. There's also some cooks in the back as well
>>24922168
I'll have a mug of fresh Rompope por favor
Tis the season
Yes, I know it's a hard order, but the long wait will be worth it imo
Pic related is my fantasy Nippon waifu
I'm taking Intro Japanese 101 at CC next semester and hope to git gud enough to travel to Japan in somewhere between 2 to 4 or 5 years from now and meet her IRL version or at least a qt3.14 Japanese grill who's somewhat similar to her
Her name is based Kiyomi
>I will never take her on a chill night-walk under the starry night sky unpolluted by city lights
>I will never hold her hand tenderly and listen to her tell me the lullabies, stories and folk tales of her village/ancestors
>I will never alternate big and little spoon with her and tenderly caress her bangs and rosy cheeks
>we will never snuggle /comfy/ in Aokigahara, not a living soul anywhere nearby, listening to the rhythm of each other's heartbeats and breathing patterns, and KeKing maniacally on occasion bc we're both Blasted out of our Minds on Acid, Peyote and/or other Hallucinogens and the Trees, Plants, Little Cute Animals and Stars above our heads all blend together and shape-shift into the most Absolutely Ridiculous Trippy Colorful Forms and Patterns
>I will never whisper into her ear "I Love You, Kiyomi-chan. More than anything in the world. I would die a thousand deaths just to relive this single moment in your arms."
>>24922168
So this is the real thread huh? Anyway, i'll take my usual New York Sour.
>>24922585
Why live bobu-kun?
>go to pickup friend at party I wasn't invited to
>"come on anon come in!" My friend says
>girl he's with says "yeah anon come in!!"
>o-okay
>walk in
>Stacey host yells "who the FUCK are you?"
>(im in a class of hers)
>I-I-I'm just picking up a friend
>Stacey asks "do you have weed?"
>n-no
>"then get the FUCK out"
>leave as everyone laughs
Why do women have to be so cruel? I hate my life of being a literal nobody
>>24921543
A bitch tried to do this to me so i walked out and called the cops on the party. Fuck them
>>24921585
fucking this. don't call 911 though, call directly to the office.
>(im in a class of hers)
allright, how old are you?
>>24921625
18
I really wish I called the cops but i think it's too late now, even tho they're all still prolly have a great Friday night
Man hate thread
Because the women here are just as bitter about the opposite sex as the men are.
men can gold dig too
Men tell lies right and left
men literally just want to abuse women
hi guys please help me =/
i don't know what to say to her. I met her a year ago and only recently told her how i feel about her. she was originally really open to talking to me but now she just shrugs me off???
im white and 6'2 btw, 8/10 attractive scale
looks like she's really not interested, nothing you can do bucko.
>>24920696
>im white and 6'2 btw, 8/10 attractive scale
Sure you are, buddy.
>>24920696
>Whatcha doin buddo?
> ;p
I have some bad news....
What American dialect are you /r9k/?
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2013/12/20/sunday-review/dialect-quiz-map.html?_r=0
Live in New York so I guess it figures, but I've lived in a lot of places. Mostly large cities, so I tend to speak normally, and with out any quirky funny (see: inane) words for things and for that I'm very grateful.
>>24920150
Like pop, who the fuck says this, I can see maybe soda pop but pop just sounds dumb. I caught myself saying it after living in a suburb near Chicago for a few months and every time I did I would take a 5 out of my pocket and tear it up, probably took a hundred dollars to set me straight but it was well worth it
>>24920216
LOL fucking yankee faggot tearing up money
Earlier I made a thread about me writing my general chemistry exam today.
It was absolutely brutal. 99% of what I studied was not on the final. How do I deal with failing a class? Is it best to persevere and not give up, or should I throw in the towel at some point?
I'm in engineering so it's more or less a worthwhile major.
>tfw doing good in calculus 1 even though I suck at math
thank god for my based math prof
>tfw finals start in 3 days
>tfw too apathetic to start studying
>tfw probably going to fail pre-calculus
>tfw just want to shitpost, play vidya, and sleep tonight
>the guy in the dorm room next to mine is playing League of Legends and screaming his ass off whenever he gets killed, which is apparently very often
>i've tried asking him to stop many times in the past to no avail
>don't want to wake up any of the RAs and bother them
>lost my earbuds so I can't even drown him out with music
A-at least there's only a few days left, and I'm moving into a different room across the hall for unrelated reasons next semester. But god, do I hate this kid. MOBAS/Assfaggots are truly the most cancerous form of gaming.
>8:30am exam tomorrow
>Tried to study but instead cried so hard I barfed twice
>Spent the rest of the day in a cycle of screaming my head off, being unnaturally calm, and then crying again
Unnaturally calm right now. Trying to make notes because I have to write an essay on tomorrow's exam but at this point my goal is just to remain alivethough not sure why I want to be alive
>>24920004
Anon what kind of course has got you so fucked up like that?
>>24919939
I'm happy I got a single. I cannot share my living space with another person. Mostly just because I'm pathetic and don't want others to see it.
What an unfortunate accident.
>>24919083
soooo meaty
>>24919083
For emphasis:
>>24919156
Yes, we can see it.
What do robots think about after death?
Every time I think about it, I cringe and feel so devastated, knowing there might be nothing but no-existence and infinite years of.. Nothing. Infinity is scary, isn't it?
>inb4 heaven, God and all related stupid religious stuff. I don't buy it.
Well.. Sometimes I wish I could. Everything would be much easier.
>>24913809
how the fuck is it scary if you wont experience it, faggot
I've always believed that we rot in a hole or in an urn or whatever, no spiritual bullshit. People don't like when I say it though because they can't live with the fact that their loved ones are actually just being eaten by maggots and not in heaven living the life.
>>24913809
>there might be
what do you mean? Life is not a magic.
For YOU dying is the same thing as falling asleep without dreams but you wont wake up.
