Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7228. page
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>repressed shut in virgin with masturbation addiction and a big dick
>going to a tropical island where i will be surrounded by babes in bikinis and such crap
>almost certain to get a boner just seeing these near naked women when im in swim shorts
how the fuck do i hide my boner, or control myself? I don't want to creep anyone out, I mean I enjoy a good fap on the beach just as much as anyone but I don't really want to ruin the social dynamic of the group just cause my big dick is involuntarily bulging out to sea
must i masturbate before going to the beach every time? Maybe I'll just get shitfaced at the start of each day
just talk to the girls they will like it
>>25172224
nope, im early-mid 20s and this sort of shit does not fly around here friendo
I live in a tropical island. Talk to them. The love white guys. 10/10 bang everytime
Prepare to RAGE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Igf96qnjHTE
>>25172136
star wars is shit senpai
>>25172136
Prepare to REEEEEEEEEE*
they have nice boobs
That band that best describes your robot feels
>>25172132
Morrissey was a robot
>>25172184
>was
he's not fucking dead you dolt
Front Porch Step
https://youtu.be/2puSNIYbVLg
Guys I hate to break it too you but being tall and big isn't that great. I'm 6 foot two . And I work out heavily. Quite a few girls have made passes at me and I've rejected all of them. Being the tallest biggest guy in the room means that by default people stare at you and assume you are in charge. How is this bad you ask ?
>be me at reasturaunt with dad .
>get handed the bill despite still being at school.
> be me very paranoid. See girls giggling at me . Feel self concious.
Also some girls only Make friends with me so they can act cool around their mates and talk shit about me behind my back to increase their social standing.
>My male friends expect me to be alpha
>I'm too scared
I try to dress poorly so people don't stare at me so much.
I know that people only like me for my looks and Hight and All I want is to have a best friend and a girlfriend who like me because we share the same interests and have good conversation. Fuck this feel.
It's a state of mind guys
Iktf bro. I'm 6'4, and used to be 330 pounds.
But now I'm fit and feel everyone's eyes on me all the time.
>>25172118
I could fill an ocean with my tears for you. Seriously though, stop posting b8. This triggers the robot.
just amputate yourself if you dont like being tall
Yesterday's went well, so I think we can have another today.
Have you ever noticed that so many people don't grasp the concept of logical consistency? Why is that?
I'm not trying to toot my own horn here or claim that I'm the most logical person on earth, but I do try to be consistent in my statements and beliefs. I think it shows a commitment to accuracy and sincerity.
Yet for some reason, so many people I've met aren't like this. Have you noticed that too?
I'm not blaming or judging other people, by the way. I feel like I have to pre-emptively humble myself, because frequently when this subject is brought up, people begin with accusations of egotism.
Anyway, this question is just the startoff. Let the thread veer where it may, but try to keep it deep.
>Yet for some reason, so many people I've met aren't like this. Have you noticed that too?
What? You mean they backpedal when they get BTFO?
>>25172141
I suppose one could put it that way.
Another thing to ponder over...
What is "time", really?
Is it really the fourth dimension?
Any of you robots got some good info on the philosophy of time you'd like to share/nutshell for us?
I know I'm veering into the realm of cheesy sci fi here, but if time travel were invented we could go back and fix our mistakes...but perhaps there would be a price to pay.
who else /masturbates to their therapist daily/ here
Don't masturbate to her. But my therapist is fucking hot.
>>25171979
>wishing she was actually the rapist
>tfw no cute therapist
Killing yourself by ODing is a lot harder than I thought if you're a fat fuck like me.
Story time.
>be last night
>make crybaby thread about my life in attempts to get at least a little advice
>everyone saying I should just kill myself, I'm basically hopeless
>I mentally agree with them
>take 3 of mommy's 60mg morphines and 2 of my own 30mg
>this should be enough to overkill just about any normal person
>nope.avi
>not me
>I'm too fat and have too high of an opiate tolerance to overdose from that
>end up nodding off and waking up 14 hours later back to being depressed
Does the cycle ever end
I can't even overdose correctly
>>25171879
>killing yourself by overdose
you're literally retarded, why don't you use a method that works? are you afraid of dying and just want attention?
fuck off whore
>>25171892
I want to die, I just don't have a more reliable method.
here, OP.
hope this helps
This is what an anime-addicted gamer grrl looks like.
HERE'S YOUR TOMOKO, BOYS! GO GET HER!!
Isn't that just a fat dude with long hair?
>>25171841
she's just fat
if she looses around 15-20 kilos she'd be cute at least
>>25171951
You have low standards
I used to live in Japan and since then I'm in a relationship with a Japanese girl. She speaks fluent English. Now I'm back in Germany and she wants to follow next year. Quitting her job in Japan to start a live in Germany. So far so good but for already three months she is depressive everyday. She has no motivation to learn the German language because her "internet-addiction" what makes her even more sad. I told her to put away her smartphone and learn the fucking textbook but she said it is her problem: she can't. She is depressive because she is afraid she can't find a job her because she has no "skills" from her current job. Makes me pretty tired as well but I don't wanna lose her because of that especially not before she, at least, tried to find a job here.
Does anyone here have advices? How should I react to all her problems? I often don't know what to say.
Get ready to be cucked by a Japanese Chad. She's not coming to Germany.
Your GF wants Syrian immigrant cock
>>25171838
For a second, I thought this was >>>/adv/
Prove to me height is just a meme.
protip:you can't
if manlets are undesired by women then how do manlets still exist
His mistake was thinking he could be accepted by normal people.
>>25171823
>ancles
at the very least, height isn't something he can change, but her spelling is something she can
Does it bother you that you will never cum in a woman and watch her belly grow with your seed?getting a woman pregnant is the most masculine thing a man can do but you will never achieve this...
you wanna know what fucking bothers me
i dont understand the story of pinochio
he is made out of wood
he lies his nose gets longer
why wouldnt he just sit there and fucking lie
then cut off his nose
and sell all the fucking wood?
>>25171819
>Watching the thing that will ruin my life slowly grow like a grenade exploding in slow motion
>Bringing another life into this world when I can barely support my own
Maybe if I was better off, but the concept of raising a child on my shoestring budget horrifies me, not to mention unless it's in a mutually monogamous relationship you're setting yourself up for child support payments for the next 18 years.
>>25171834
Asking the right questions here anon.
>be white British agnostic guy
>match with cute Somali girl on Tinder who lives a few minutes away
>she comes over, wearing her hijab
>we blaze up the kush, it's her first time trying it
>we end up making out
>she has to go home because she can't spend too long away from it because family
>never got to see her hair
She's coming around tonight too - if we end up kissing again, should I attempt to touch her boob?
>>25171804
Wow she's pretty corrupted. Is she actually religious or are her parents making her wear one?
>>25171902
Nope, totally Muslim
>>25172218
Why would you bother with a girl who actually believes a greater power in the universe wants her to wear a towel around her head at all times?
I'm gunna share a story with you, it was my out of body experience
>be me two years back
>come home from school
>it's a pretty normal day, clear skies, sunny you know
>start to feel my stomach hurt
>ohwellmaybeitsjustgas.avi
>wait a couple minutes
>casual stomach pain turns into full blown stabbing sensation
>call mom
>mom takes me to hospital
>they say that some random organ burst
>ohshitnigger
>say they have to operate right away
>I go into operation room
>they put me on a sedative
>fall asleep, but fucking wake up in this white room
>a man comes out
>"welcome to heaven anon"
>"am I dead?"
>"yes, and we are allowing you to pass into heaven"
>start to freak the fuck out
>"are you alright anon?"
>no, I'm scared as fuck
>the man grabs me
>"I'm sorry but we can't let you into heaven now"
>"why not?!?"
>Heaven helps the man who fights his fear, love's the only thing that keeps me here
>mfw
>>25171664
that drug they put you on was hardcore
>>25171664
Pretty spooky 2bh
>that isn't out of body, just dreamlike.
Who here /not afraid of a real woman/?
http://xhamster.com/movies/1336989/couples_series_devoted_part_1.html
OP is a faggot as usual
sage
You wake up and THIS is in your face.
What do you do?
Protip: There's only one right answer.
>>25171682
Hey man, I understand that you're gay and I'm not mad at you for that. But can't you at least let the men have their fun?
>121 kg
Just
>tfw 60kg
JUST
>153kg
heh
>>25171693
That is thin privilege. Bugger off mate.
