Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7220. page
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Reminder that even YOU can unJUST yourself
Yeah, with a personal trainer and strict diet planand loadsamoney
>>25176758
i forgot that celebrities were the only ones capable of losing weight. let me help
step 1) eat fewer calories
step 2) exercise more frequently
i bet he even had someone style his eyebrows in the right pic
not feeling very motivated to be quite honest
What should I get my dad for xmas. He's intellectual type and likes football.
>>25176556
If that's true, then you really seem to have a female brain. "Hi I'm a girl and I was wondering about something that has absolutely nothing to do with me being a girl but just wanted to let you guys know."
>>25176625
So are you going to help me with ideas or just be a faggot?
>>25176556
a suicide note
>he thinks /r9k/ isn't a satire boardfembot btw
>>25176485
Not for everyone it is you dumb fuck.
>fembot btw
>implying
>>25176485
hello um im a girl looking for a super cute bf ^_^
too bad I am a robot.... :(((
I just want to make it very clear I am a GIRL who is a ROBOT because I browse r9k
>>25176555
New to the board, kid? Along with all your redditor friends? Heh. No problem, lemme tell you how it is.
[r9k] is a satire board. Always has, always will be. You froge feels fags (which by the way, you never understood that meme in the first place) will always be mocked on r9k.
Someone responding with >tfw? They're mocking you. Someone responding with ree? They're mocking you.
How do I deal with being 4'11 in such a big world. I havs IQ tested to 160 when I was 16 but now i'm in college I am failing organic chemistry. I think I need to cum on a girl I don't care what type I just need to cum.
>>25176409
you have the worst worldview I have possibly ever seen.
Cummin on a grill is not going to change a thing. You'll still be a 4'11 manlet with a shit IQ no one, NO ONE, gives a fuck about.
sorry mate, you're fucked unless you can find a path to true happiness
>>25176468
How do I find a path to happiness if I am surrounded by darkness. I tried music but I need to listen to music I can feel with I listen to a lot of death metal. I am from Korea originally so everyone thought I was weird. How do i find happiness if no one wants to talk to me? Everyon laugh or say "Ok little man". It get me so MAD. I COULD JUST PUNCH A BITCH
It must be so hot to be 4'11 and be surrounded by giantesses and guys that could rape you if they wanted, honestly anon im jealous, stop complaining
>tfw TayTay hit the wall at 26
Katy perry is much sexier than that skank slut
>>25176500
That's proven to be a fake, still hot though
>>25176520
Thats what they want you to believe ;)
[R9k], could you tell me something about dogs?
Shit animals waste of resources
Best beastie
IIII LIIIKKEEE DOOOOOGGGSSS MUUUCHH BETTTEEEEEERRRR
I love watching pom
You that read wrong
You read that wrong too
You read that twice to make sure you didnt read that wrong
Baby faced?
>>25176307
More like baby-faced teenager jailed for 7 years for being black and 3 years for importing benzocaine.
Can we start the revolution already? I'm getting tired of this bullshit.
>>25176307
He wuz a good boi he dindu nuffin
is anyone else afraid of driving?
>>25176292
Driving's easy if you live in some rural or suburban area.
It's hell if you're in york or jersey
why?
are you scared of being a passenger too?
I am. I failed the driving test just earlier today and now my parents call me a loser.
Do you think Elliot was given a fair shake his documentary?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gThKOR5FGz4
An Elliot thread with 0 replies?
/r9k/ truly has changed.
Stefbot's analysis video is the only secondary source worth watching.
And this
https://youtu.be/-5D6SvYw_pw
>>25176280
>the virgin killer
they mock him even in death
1/3
>be me 7 years ago (teen)
>leader of my cancer group in a spanish imageboard
>we were like 30 people
>had 3 internet "girlfriends", but there was only one that i genuinely loved, let's call her JN
>JN is the cute, kinky, nerdy, virgin dream girl that doesn't exist
>shit was so cash, me and my clan used to smash the ideology of the imageboard (the page was emo, and we were the revolutionary shitposters)
>years later, people start leaving, i'm just a kid so i don't care
>JN leaves the imageboard too but I still talk with her in skype so it's allright
>there are like 5 people left from my clan, all others have left or are newfags trying to be popular
>I leave the imageboard too and spend 6 months chilling with JN playing games and browsing tumblr
>i say something stupid and she cuts contact with me for like 3 years
2/3
>i have to make a project for class, and i have to send some audio to a whatsapp group, so the best way to do it is to paste the text into an empty chat and then use the audio recorder while reading it
>now i need an empty dead chat
>i still have JN's chat, perfect because she blocked me so i can use it
>while speaking the text, she appears online and tipying
>i freeze as she says "who is this?"
we meet ourselves again and we restart our friendship, but after 3 years we have changed a lot
also i only have her in the internet, but she has another best friend (a girl that hates me for some reason)
>she doesn't text me back like before
>she ignores me for days
>all the time we would spend together she spends it with her best friend
3/3
>i'm tired of this bullshit so i don't talk to her either
>she's worried about me and wants me to talk to her now
>I ignore her like she ignored me
>she deletes all her internet media to contact her
It's been 6 months since that and I'm completely destroyed. Today I went back to the imageboard and there's not a single person in my clan. Nobody knows who I am anymore and I wasted my life in the internet only to be abandoned by everyone.
I used to be the king and now I'm a depressed faggot ranting about it in 4chan
tl dr deje de leer en >lider de forocoches
What's your favorite troll?
Prank calls are literally always funny.
Ken M
>>25176273
Myself. Whenever I troll I do it subtly and get shit tons of angry replies. The other day on yahoo news comments section I got the first comment and said something I knew would piss off people. Over 2k thumbs down and 500+ replies.
>neets bragging about subway
>get subway gift card for christmas and being employee of the month
>don't have to pay for my subway
Kek
>>25176269
Subway isn't that good Quiznos is better
>>25176305
>>25176269
no love for mcdonalds?
>>25176320
If you eat McDonalds as an adult, you're kind of a loser..
p-plz enjoysoundcloud.com/hentomusic/just4u
Also, who here makes actual music?
>pic unrelated
>>25176264
Sounds basic as fuck.
Good job fag
>>25176264
HNGGH MUH DICK
>>25177527
Puffy vulvas are a sign of STDs
fuck this nigger ass game
This shit is gay as fuck. If you like mahjong you're a faggot bitch
How do you even play this shit? You just get to the end and realize you lost
>>25176178
git gud fagtron
>>25176214
You cant this game is made out of pure faggot
>>25176178
That's not even real mahjong.
>Be mall santa for some wagebux
>Little asian loli girl comes sit on my lap
>Bump my knee so she moves right on my cox
>"What do you want l-"
>Nigger mom screams "HURRI DA FUCK UP"
> qt 3.14 Azn mom comes picking her up scared of the nigger
>I become visibly mad
>Nigger comes in sits on my lap
>Smells like weed and smoke
>"W-what do you want for Christmas little boy!"
>"I wan some koolaidz"
>Nigger mom says "Aaaha dats my bae"
>"Hoho, alright little boy"
>Push him off my lap and he falls and gets a bloody nose
> Mom goes "Da FUCK, I'm suing you and everione up in dis place you fuckin whye boi"
>"Go ahead nigger I quit"
>Everyone gasps and I rip off my suit revealing I am a manlet
>Run out the mall.
Fuck
Whats the frog man dancing on top of?
probably the most autistic thing i've ever read
>>25176467
how new are you even
am i getting b8d
![p6zwuHl[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/cBNm5Hr.jpg "p6zwuHl[1]")
