Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4094. page
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how do i kill myself and make it look like an accident?
tell you parents or whoever is left that still cares about you that you want to travel the world
go to some isolated corner of the world where nobody will find your body
kill self
Drop toaster in bathtub duh
>>27690297
too expensive
>>27690316
don't meme at me this is important
Do you say pay-pay or peh-pay? I always say pay-pay and nobody gets it.
>>27690202
It's fucking PEEP
It's "Peep"-"Eh"
PEEP is the correct pronanciation
Is the western world in terminal decline? Are robots just a symptom of a societal lack of purpose and insecure dread?
>>27690179
I know im not, i made myself this way by being a fucking retard
>>27690179
Yes.
fuckmuhcucksblucks.
>>27690179
im going to take advantage of this, anyways the western world was shit.
im going to start my travel next year, it will be forever, im the only one?
Who else >fap dry?
Lube is just too slippery. I want a firm grasp and be capable to wrench out drop of cum.
Only ripped my dick skin once.
>develop germ phobia as older brother constantly masturbating, eating Buffalo wings and refuses to ever wash hands
>would wrap a tissue around penis so I wouldn't have to waah hands
>gets too dry one day and notice blood on tissue
>tfw rubbed vasiline on cock
>tfw bloody oily underwear
>>27690163
>tfw not jewed up dick
>every fap is a dry fap unless I'm in the shower
>I never understood the lube/vaseline/moisturizer meme until I saw porn on the internet for the first time when I was like 16.
I'm cut and I've always masturbated dry, don't get the lube meme. Just grip the skin on the shaft and pull up and down, it brushes the bottom of the tip which feels good. It's the best way to jerk off.
On the rare occasions that I've used spit as lube, it doesn't make a difference really because the head is way to sensitive during orgasm to even touch, so I just end up sloppily sliding up and down the shaft.
>>27690163
im so sorry your dick was mutilated anon
us uncut dicked people dont need lube and shit
Just woke up from a nightmare w/ sleep paralysis. There was an actual old hag/witch this time. I've had this kind of nightmares before but never with an old hag. Bitch was pissed at me for some reason.
Shit was terrifying. However, as usual, 10-15 minutes later and I'm already forgetting most of what was going on.
All I remember is that she wasn't actually on my chest but near my window, hovering the ground and with glowing red eyes, dirty black hair and a long dark purple dress. She had a creepy smile and crooked, long teeth. She was messing with my head the fucking bitch.
All I was thinking during that was "This is just a nigthmare. It's scientifically impossible that an actual monster witch is in my room right now".
Still, pretty scary.
Tell me about your experiences, robots.
Fuck, that's hella scary.
No joke, I would've shat my bed.
>>27689872
>This is just a nigthmare. It's scientifically impossible that an actual monster witch is in my room right now.
I think the same thing every time i shit myself kek
A long haired demon lady appears.
She a qt
Im a lucky guy
I still get scared tho
'X' I fucking hate you
Not because of what happened, I accept that
But because of how you acted afterwards, you are a selfish heartless cunt and I fucking hate you.
>>27689870
is this a template or a secret massage
did you fuck one of the local pity traps or wut
Im using this as an emotional ouitlet to some roastie whore
Why do I always feel like it's directed towards me, I'm sorry OP
Have you ever done anything on 4chan you regret other than generally wasting your life here?
Nope, my only regret is not closing this fucking site when I was first introduced to it
Spending too much time on here some nights rather then studying or doing assignments, then rushing last minute to get shit done.
I really did not need to put that kind of stress on myself.
Granted if it was not 4chan I probably would have wasted time procrastinating on something else.
>>27689792
made a "dubs tells me what to do with my pet leach"
By the end of the night I had a leach suck a large amount of my blood from my testicles and then fried and ate it.
I miss that leach
Is adoption an act of cuckoldry?
No, it is better that an orphin have a proper father and be raised into a productive citizen then be raised by the state and become a criminal or other form of degenerate.
If you have the extra resources to raise them right in a stable home, I see nothing wrong with it.
>>27689831
but according to the "my wifes son" meme raising unrelated kids is cucky.
So completely adopting should be king cuck tier.
>>27690024
raising a child whom cannot support himself isnt apart of the meme.
"my wife's son" meme is making fun of men who willingly accept the fact the woman is not supporting herself and her child and leeches off of the man.
Where were you the day women became completely obsolete?
Why is he wearing a full white body suit?
Can't fucking wait
original desu
>>27689658
kek, that looks so real. Sticking your dick in a vacuum cleaner would be way more enjoyable than that thing
https://youtu.be/dWWDFn0KDtY?t=2m52s
SPEED- 1.5x
Get jiggy wit it and tap out your best 575 r9k
other personal prose is also welcome
Oh fuck yes, I love Parappa the Rapper.
Posting Eggman's most recent rap, it's surprisingly good if you haven't heard it already. https://youtu.be/jnJXlMJmk6w
clouds were past my time
easily the last of time
ethereal presence
>>27689711
get funky and creative then anon!
>low casting a crown
>atop a world of pure stone
>caught between the rule
Im tired of it /r9k/
My family has always put me under my 3 older brothers, always comparing me to them.
Calling me a "failure and disgrace"
So i plan to join the military for 5 years, save my bux and drop myself into vietnam. Over the next 10 years, i plan to travel west from Hanoi, to Rome,Italy and come back to my family during the family reunion they host every 5 years.
when i walk in and see how i have changed over 10 years, hopefully they will accept me.
what do you plan for the future /r9k/ ?
>>27689641
also
>inb4 faggot op
>what do you plan for the future /r9k/ ?
Killing myself
>>27689695
this is what im likely to do if i fail
Is there any fate worse than a pencil dick?
Is there anything more embarrassing than showing up to the gangbang with your 7x5 being surrounded by fat dicks just to have the girl refer to 'your skinny cock'?
>>27689543
You realize 5 inch girth is the North American average to the T, right?
On a side note, I'm very lonely. It's killing me each passing day.
>>27689543
7x5 is a solid ratio. A pencil dick would be something like 9x5. What makes a pencil dick is not its absolute size, but its absurd lenght to girth ratio.
>Is there any fate worse than a pencil dick?
Nope. That's literally the worst the universe has to offer. No torture devised by man can compare to the pain of having 5" girth.
what are some r9k approved animes? post you're favourites
have already seen NHK
you already made this thread and got no answers
what do you think will change this time
>>27689498
Genshiken
I always liked the music in the .hack animes
But yeah go watch Jin Roh or redline
>ate hot cheetos for the first time
>mfw
How can people enjoy this? There's literally no flavor, just heat.
>>27689495
>hot cheetos
the fuck kind of hillbilly slop is that?
>not liking hot flamins
yous a bitch
Get the jalapeno ones instead, they're god-tier.
how long have you been chewing?
Any noticeable jaw gains?
Shill your shitty product elsewhere.
>>27689443
It's scientifically proven to work by Mike mew, I think he's more educated and intelligent then your tiny junk brain can ever hope to be
>>27689499
>proven
Mew has literally no papers to speak of.
![1K83Etm[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DIIsW86.jpg "1K83Etm[1]")
