Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6147. page
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Today was my third day working at McDonald's.
This shit is terrible. I have no idea how ANYBODY could do this bullshit full time.
Have you ever worked any other job?
>>25707865
literally one of the easiest jobs ever, as far as fast food goes.
At least they're organized and professional. I worked local fast food places that were put together with spit and string and THAT shit was awful, nearly made me kill myself
>tfw joined the Navy
>tfw 18 hour days at sea
Well lads, at least theres girls there.
What's the most recent cringe thing you've done?
>>25704254
>run into family friend
>they say hello
>freeze, panic mode
>don't say anything and walk away
>>25704254
>go into starbucks
>can i get a large buck
I just told my girl about the dream I had last night and now she doesn't want to talk to me.
Many people here hate that they are still virgins at X age.
So why not a prostitute?
Common arguments against it are
>I don't want to pay for it
>I want it to be something special
>There must be love involved
Let me just get it out of the way.
Sex isnt some magical thing thats always great and epic. Especially not when you are new to it and therefore bad at it. In fact masturbating is often even better than sex.
Benefits of losing your virginity are that you are finally done with this meme and you dont have to think about it anymore. Maybe it depresses you more than it should and losing it can get rid of these thoughts. You are also able to better understand sex and you can decide for yourself how high you really have to value it.
For me the benefits of getting rid of all of this outweigh the negatives by a lot. Yes it would be nice if it was "something" special but even for those who didnt lose it with a prostitute its not that special or memorable .. ever so often its actually an embarassing experience.
I also absolutely understand it if you simply don't want to do it for whatever reason you might have.
For those who always considered it heres my guide on what do expect to get rid of some of mysteries.
Its important to keep in mind that its the job of a prostitute to have sex with you. This is the number 1 thing to remember. You can be skinny, fat, a manlet or an alien. She most likely had sex with people that looked way worse than you and when you are young you can bet that she prefers you over some old guy.
I think i dont have to explain to you how to find prostitutes. Its also different in every country.
>>25703662
Cont.
It can be in a brothel, a private working one. The process and act will be the same wherever you are.
Before you do anything please take a shower. Cut your pubic hairs. Be fucking clean. Additionally you can clean yourself (wash hands - clean your dick, balls a bit) a 2nd time when you are with her - this will make her feel better aswell. She might even demand it from you anyway.
You pay in advance. Have the money ready - its pretty much an unwritten rule to do this. Talk about what you get for your money. It should be clear.
Example:
30 mins including a blowjob, vaginal sex - most let you try a few positions. Its up to you here. Lots of them will start in missionary position but prefer doggystyle. Doggy is also a good finisher. If you are confident enough you can tell her what you want to do next - by doing this you might be able to get more than you paid for (like licking her pussy - lol).
Do not spend too much money. Prices are different wherever you maybe so i can't give you a price you should pay. However consider the cheaper options that still meet your criteria.
>But anon? Why shouldnt i pay $1000 and fuck a 10/10 ?
By doing this you put yourself under a lot more mental stress and anxiety. You don't do this because you are confident in your abilities. You are simply doing it to get rid of the virgin status and to learn a little about Sex.
I suggest that you tell her that you are a virgin. This will make it less awkward for her and she can even guide you and turn it into a nice experience.
>>25703673
Cont.
DO NOT jerk off before you do it. For those who are under the belief they will cum the moment they see a vagina - guess what thats not how it works. Even a blowjob or vaginal penetration will feel different or even less good than what you are used to.
When jerking off you maximize your pleasure all the time and can adjust. This isnt what a mouth/vagina does to your dick. Its a completely different experience at first.
Not jerking off before most likely secures that you will be able to cum and its better to cum than not to cum - your time is limited. Theres also nobody you will impress with your epic stamina.
The Act itself isnt rocket science. Take off your pants, get out of your socks and get on the bed. If you are insecure about your body just leave your t-shirt on. Why not?
She will make comfort you a little, play a bit with your dick and get you hard. Don't be afraid to touch her but dont be too weird about it. Feel her body. Touch her ass. I'd guess she will blow you with a condom on. However that depends on who you pay and what you paid for and what your preferences are. You might be able to get a blowjob without condom.
If she uses her hands too much while blowing tell her to blow you again - don't let everything happen around you. If you arent confident enough for this fine. Let her guide you. She will stop and lay down.
The absolut best thing you can do is use your hands to guide your dick into the hole. When i was an innocent virgin i thought it will just go right in like that - i was wrong.
Don't exhaust yourself by going ham from the start. Take it slow. Get used to the movements then increase the pace to your liking.
If you told her that you are a virgin i can guarantee you she will be helping you out anyway - thats why its a good thing to tell her.
Once you are done you are done. You might be able to wash your hands and dick - get dressed, say your goodbyes and leave. Thats it. Congrats you are not a virgin anymore.
>>25703713
Cont.
Risks:
Everything i just said can go horribly wrong - she might be an annoying bitch and rip you off. Don't get discouraged. This shit happens. Prostitutes are just like everyone else. Some are just bad at their job, have a bad day. It isnt your fault. This happens very rarely.
Be aware of STDs. Protecting yourself is the number 1 thing you can do. Even though STDs like AIDS very rarely get transmitted by oral sex - the risk is still there.
I dont know what else to write. If you have any questions just ask. I might have missed something crucial.
>"Hang out in bookstores and coffeeshops"
>"Join a Salsa Dancing class"
>"Try online dating, its how people meet these days"
>>25702534
>try going out
>>25702534
u just have to know people anon
>JUST BE YOURSELF THERE'S SOMEBODY FOR EVERYONE OUT THERE YOU NEED TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE ELSE
If I were to just "be myself", I would probably devolve into Trevor from GTA 5. I am actively suppressing "myself" most of the time. Everyone is.
You are locked from this thread if you have ever
>had a meaningful discussion with a girl
>had prolonged eye contact with a girl
>had a sexual encounter with a girl
>enjoyed the company of girls
>had a female friend
>held a girl's hand
>kissed a girl
or if you are female.
Haha loner
>>25702023
Lvl 34 wiz checking in, cheers!
23 yo kissless robot checking in
Anons knocking at your door
Wojak throws you a M-16
>ready to go buddy?
Pepe is waiting for us in the armored jeep
>>25701893
p-pls no
>>25701893
i would love to see those piss bottles in action.
>>25701923
it's now or never
>Stacy status: BTFO
AMERICA FIX YOUR FUCKING GUN LAWS HOLY SHIT.
>>25708077
It's only a kid, she wasn't a lost cause yet
>>25708092
He was a cop dipshit.
What does /r9k/ think of rape?
>>25703711
A degenerate crime.
Done by barbarians who cannot get it by non-degenerate means so they have to ape out and take it from a weaker gender
pathetic
>>25703711
It's fun to watch (but I can only watch reenactments on films)
the idea of overpowering a helpless woman kind of turns me on
why dont you have a mommy gf, anons?
where is mommy, anon?
>>25699268
Nobody wants to be a mommy gf.
>>25699935
this. Even disgusting single moms with leathery skin and desperation by the bushels: No woman is ready to be the loving mother I never had.
Hey trannies, why can't you look as good as this one?
>>25697858
I dont own photoshop
>>25697921
This is her irl.
>>25697858
Why can't you look as good as this one?
I caved. I'm gonna hire an escort for the first time. I've never done this so is there anything I should or shouldn't do?
Pic related it's her
>>25704914
Make sure you don't end up being the one getting fucked in the ass. It happens frequently especially if they know you're weak and inexperienced,
Terrible choice, what other girls work in the area
>>25704951
How would I get fucked in the ass?
Actually might go with this girl instead
>Be 18
>Be 6/7
> Like this 7/8 for 3 years
> Getting closer , texting everyday
> She goes to a party and my so called friend Cucks me
> She wont even give me the time of day now
> basically destroys my back bone
>6 months later and im talking to someone else
> Find out she likes the friend who cuckolded me before
what am i doing wrong? Im such a gentleman to girls and they never give me a chance
>>25702908
Kill your "friend" already, ffs this isn't hard.
>>25702932
Im afraid of confrontation , i once said a girls ex smelt like smoke and he beat me up
>destroys my back bone
who the fuck talks like that, you probably deserved it cuck
I don't really find her attractive so dubs decides.
>>25702784
FUCKOFFFUCKOFFFUCKOFFFUCKOFF NORMIE REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>25702784
Nothing much, just taking out my bottled-up rage towards stacies on you. It makes me feel just a tiny bit of power over the gender I have failed miserable at connecting with. Anyways, what about you, what are you doing?
>>25702866
Dubs get, OP deliver.
"just drink some alcohol bro it will help i promise :^)"
>drink alcohol
>tastes like ass but whatever
>start getting kind of drunk
>desire to socialize stays at zero
>desire to chainsmoke over 9000
>drink more
>start getting angry at the world
>go online and post angry rants about jews and communists
>wake up feeling shitty
>banned from all of my facebook debate groups
anyone else get angry and confrontational from alcohol, rather than social and friendly?
i don't see how the hell people ingest this shit in social settings. it makes me despise other people even more. at least when i'm sober i don't feel like arguing with everyone
i drank alcohol, made a new friend and spooned with my crush. so no i cant relate.
it makes most people more social and "cool". some people are angry drinkers, others are sad and pathetic, but mostly you just get sillier.
If you have a shitty mindset while sober, guess what - you'll have a shitty mindset while drunk. Just worse.
>"and now we'll go around the class one by one so everyone gets a chance to introduce themselves."
If your heart isn't beating faster than a race horse, your ass isn't getting sweaty, your hands not cold, and your voice not shaking, you need to go back to reddit.
I used to get really nervous when answering questions and shit in class.
Then I turned into an ultra depressed edgelord by 16 which somehow made me more confident because I didn't care what people thought
>>25701703
i literally just leave class when they do this then come back once it's over
the funny thing is i'm at the point where i can do it without getting nervous but i still don't like it
>>25701703
>Hi my name is Stan and I suck cocks in hell
