Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8086. page
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>be me
>drive a Fuckload for work
>piss in cups/bottles to save time
>pissing in fast food cup at red light, light turns green
>instincually accelerate
>dump hot piss all over lap and seat
>drive straight home, tell no one, turn phone off
At least Piss in a water bottle
>>24517240
I usually do. Didn't have any at the time.
Mate, if you can't handle the occasional spillage you're not cut out for pissbottles.
Good morning, wagekek. Another fine day to hear your alarm go off.
Another day, another dollar.
So I hold two fingers up to yesterday
Light a cigarette and smoke it all away
>>24517016
This.>tfw no arubaito
Finished work for the week tbqhwyf (to be quite honest with you family)
Who /badposture/ here?
>>24516834
not me,
i did ballet in HS and my back grew stronk
GET YE GONE
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>>24516868
GOLEM
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E
What is a socially acceptable excuse for being single?
I want to be able to have this conversation with normies without revealing my power level.
The real reason is that women really tick me off with their emotional manipulation and viper tongues, i have seen the way they use sex as a negotiation tool, pretend to be on good terms with someone, then back-stab them and how they regard the achievements of their partners as their own success. Most are addicted to retail and validation and i want no part in any of this tomfoolery.
Obviously this isnt an opinion to be aired in the company of neurotypical sheep and i need a 'kosher' excuse..
>>24516366
>chose to be single
>focus on becoming financially stable
>learn about yourself
>travel when you have shekels
>git rich
but I yearn for a gentle femdom sugar momma thats obsessed with me
I tell them I'm remaining single because I'm waiting eagerly for the resurrection of the dead.
its so fucked you even need an excuse to be single as a man. if you're a woman its fine, but every guy needs to have a gf or he's a loser/gay.
>ywn passionately slide into your gf and look into her eyes while you cum inside her
>ywn have a gf
>ywn know true love
>>24516333
why do threads like this get no replies now and threads about c.uckoldry and racebait get 150+
>>24516333
>TwF cuddels every night
>Implying I don't know those exact feels
>Implying I don't know what real love is
>Implying it hasn't torn me up for the last two years since she yanked it all away from me.
tik tok goy. better get some sleep or you will get fired
I dont even know if I could be a wagekek because of this
>>24516329
This.tik tok
>>24516329
Sorry Goy, all us Jews in the office have the week off. Religious reasons. Thanks for doing the whole offices work while we're gone while still being payed minimum wage.
Oh, and if it's not all done, you'll be fired, and arrested for antisemitism. Oy vey!
My mother arranged a blind date for me with a supposedly cute girl/grill. What am I in for, and how do I succeed?
>>24515840
mothers mean well but i wouldn't get my hopes up.
bring enough booze to get both of you roaring drunk.
Find out what she told the girl about you.
Who has shitty bosses here?
wageslave checking in
for me personally, the higher you go up, the shittier the boss is is. where i work, there's different tiers of management and many of them are cokeheads and/or alcoholics. the vp and the owner's wife are the only decent people with any real clout and i thank god they have the positions they do.
too many chiefs, not enough indians
Literally all that bosses do is make things less efficient.
JUST HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING, RING TING TINGLING TOO
COME ON IT'S LOVELY WEATHER FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU
OUTSIDE THE SNOW IS FALLING AND FRIENDS ARE CALLING, "YOO HOO!"
COME ON IT'S LOVELY WEATHER FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOU
I feel this deep in my soul
I like that gif of this pic and that crazy kid singing I will always love you like he was having a seizure
>>24515630
I heard this last christmas when I was drinking in a bar alone.
For the first time in my life I truly contemplated killing myself.
>ask dad a simple question
>he ends up talking non-stop for over an hour
Same with my Dad but everything he say is interesting and true
>>24515713
This, I've met this guy's dad and all he does is repeat "My son is gay"
>>24515743
Kek.
My mom goes on about stuff bc shes usually drunk
What has my life become, /r9k/?
>be me, robot
>19 yo
>father goes away to Djibouti for work reasons for 2 months
>he was always the one who imposed order in our family
>alwys telling us to dress our pajamas when it was getting late
>never leting us have dinner in our bedrooms
>always making us go to bed at 10:30 PM on the dot
>so, a month and a half has passed since he's left
>every day since he's left I've been going to bed at 4 AM
>I haven't showered in a over a month
>I haven't shaved in over 2 weeks and the only reason I did it was because my grandparents forced me to
>wear the same clothes for over a week until my mother tells me to wash them
>wear the same underwear and socks for about a month, underwear is full of crap it stains my pants
>and to top it off:
>last week wake up at 1AM, I'm not even under the covers, bed is still made
>get dressed
>realise what time it is
>go back to bed, not even under the covers
>wake up at 6 AM
>get ready to leave home when I realize my pajamas are neatly folded under my pillow
>I never fold my pajamas, my mother does it while I'm away
>realize I never actually got dressed and I had spent the whole night sleeping with my clothes on
>rethink life
>and to top it off:
>be today
>wake up at 1 AM
>realize I fell asleep in my chair watching YouTube videos
>go to bed, not even undo bed, just sleep on top of the covers and mattress
>wake up at 4 AM for whatever reason
>realize I left the rests of my dinner on top of the bed
>I slept on top of it
>my right side is covered in spaghetti and spaghetti sauce
>spend the next 5-10 minutes cleaning my pajamas and my bed (this time I remembered to go to bed on my pajamas)
>go back to sleep, this time under the covers
>wake up at 6 AM
>go to university
>rethink life
What has become of my life /r9k/?
How the hell do you sleep on spaghetti senpai
>>24515564
>What has my life become, /r9k/?
it's called getting taste of freedom
imposed discipline will never work in the long run as you demonstrated, it must be internal.
You are literally in a baby-tier state now that your father is gone since he never actually let you take care of yourself and see the consequences of living like a disgusting hobo neet locked in his room
>>24515751
Any way I can improve myself? What do I do?
why do you morons look up to alpha negatives?
their literately nigger tier.
post in my thread retards!
Because oscillating from gamma+ to alpha+ and back is a frustrating existence.
>inb4 hurr why are you on /r9k/ then
>>24515560
Being alpha can't arguably be earned.
Any dude shorter than 5'10'' will never be alpha
Any dude with social anxiety, or deformity can't be alpha
Any dude from a broken home won't have the social skills to be alpha...
So alpha is a narrow list of characteristics, like an iceberg, only the a small margin is up to freedom of choice, the rest is a prerequisite dispositions
>scratch asshole
>sniff fingers
any real robots here?
>>24515497
i'm actually a normie but i've been visiting this board for 8 years
>Digs in nose
>Lord of the nose goblins
>Bon apetite
>immediately swamped by sea of guilt
Yeah, where are the real robots at? (INTP/ESFJ)
>>24515497
I do this
>>24515556
and I do this
>never lost the habbit on sucking on your thumb
>take a dump
>sniff it
>masturbate
>cum
>eat it
I was also able to suck my own dick when I was 13-16
(INTJ/INTP)
Where the real robots at?
How do you get shit stains out of a fabric computer chair seat?
Lick them off.
Your tears should lift stains like that right out.
Cry on the stain and get that saltiness mixed right in between then proceed to lick it off.
How does it feel to have a super cute young girlfriend? I mean look at pic-related. She kisses her boyfriend, she does sexual things with him... how does he feel?
> She kisses her boyfriend, she does sexual things with him
Yeah and other 23 hours of the day poor man has to put up with her talking, wasting money, worrying if she keks him, bitching about pointless womyn things, trying to rope him into marriage etc etc
Look at her 4Head m8 it's huge. Would not bang.
>tfw gf is a qt who just turned 18 this summer
>tfw she kisses me and does sexual things for me all the time, often without any asking at all.
>tfw too messed up to smash like i should be able to and therefore always worried she'll get dissatisfied and peace out
I thought I'd made it but nah
