Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8092. page
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Would you kill your parents before killing yourself hypothetically?
if I ever was to kill myself, yes I would kill my parents
>>24506982
why
>>24506966
No?
Do you team kill everyone on the server til you get kicked when you want to stop playing? if so fuck you.
>>24506966
No, i specifically have alot of money set aside for them when i do die/end it
/spoiler/ prolly going to be before they do /spoiler/
>working out at home
>lift only in boxes
>finish set
>penis feels inverted
>look down
>literally like 1 inch
>smaller then my thumb
Small penis feels. No 6+ inch allowed.
Why did you include the part about lifting boxes
7" and mine does the same during weight training
it turtles into a knob. all the blood is going to the muscles tbqh
>dat feel when too much stims and da dick turns into a little knob
bruh i was a 1/2 incher for like 2 days, spooky as fuck. stay strong lil weiner bros
Anyone experienced with getting drugs off craigslist? Any advice to know if they're legit?
>Don't do it
But I want muh weed
>Use darknet
I'm too stupid
>I'm too stupid
Ot's not hard, dumbass
if you're only getting weed, live somewhere it's legal and have the necessary documents to get it, craigslist is great. otherwise, you're taking a huge risk, and will probably get ripped off. just lrn2 dark web or find a friend of a friend who will sell to you
>>24506778
I have never heard of anyone getting any drugs off craigslist
What if your waifu/crush had a huge, oversized futa dick that they'd wanna fuck you with?
How big would it have to be before you say "no" to being anally penetrated?
Easy mode: You won't suffer any permanent damage at all.
Why does someone with Lucy Wilde's body have to be the most boring fuck in porn
>>24506582
>Has ddf network porn
>It's not solo or lesbian porn
What a kek.
>>24506658
Which one? Don't know who the brunette is but the blondie is Kyra Hot. She's really nice, she'll cream in all the videos she's in (at least in all the solo/lesbian stuff, I don't watch boy/girl since I'm not a faggot).
hey anon wanna have a good time? just bend over, trust me it'll be fun ;)
oh, and don't worry, it's going all the way in, too.
>25
>5'8"
>still have baby boy prepubescent arms
>girls have hairier arms than me
How am I supposed to be taken seriously with such boyish like arms?
try spreading masculing semen on it
>>24506568
you may think it is a joke but if a guy does not have sufficiently hairy arms, he is subconsciously seen as the inferior male
don't blame your lack of general manliness on lack of hair anon, hair doesn't matter that much. it's more of a hassle than anything
t. a sasquatch-mode anon
>tfw the beta uprising will never happen
>>24506514
desu the real beta uprising should be fixing your life and improving it
lashing out like a baby having a tantrum is just sad, your problems are fixable
>>24506534
Fixing it won't get me a gf.
>>24506514
ISIS is the beta uprising. The majority of their foot soldiers are poor virgin sandniggers that joined so they can kill normies and fuck loli poon.
Sup /r9k/, I am looking for other piss bottlers.
>tfw your piss goes over the handle
>tfw it has been sitting in your room for two months get ripe
>>24506503
I am working on bottle number five /r9k/
>tfw four gallons of piss.
Look at how all the waste walls to the bottom of the jug /r9k/.
final one /r9k/
Just the little bit of physical skin contact with my female barber feels amazing. Is that normal? My whole body felt tingly and nice inside, is this what i have been missing all my life?
>>24506426
>when her tits lightly press against your shoulders when she's cutting the fringe
>MILF barber giving me a haircut
>"you're so cute"
Did she want my d?
That's ASMR, it's common with barbers as it tends to be more common when being spoken to by someone close to your ear.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response
Anyone playing runescape/darkscape/2007scape and wants to skype for a while as i play through the night no-lifing. You'll have to ignore casual fapping every few hours but besides that i can be rly nice to talk to i swear. or we can listen to each other breathe.
>>24506389
id love to play rs with you sometime
my skype is negroleauge
Why not post on /v/ or some kind of runescape forum?
because /r9k/ is rly nice :(
>be me
>7th grade kid in elementary school
>ride bus to school every day from/to the country into the city for school
>1 hour bus ride each way, one of the last kids to be dropped off after school
>boring as fuck
>bus seating, generally arranged in a hierarchy with youngest grades at the front (starting with grade 1), and oldest at the back
>kids at back of bus usually super rowdy, bullies etc.
>holy shit
>i am in the oldest grade on the bus this year
>proceed to claim back seat like a boss, friends in my grade doing same, or in second last to the back seat
>daily, i create mischief to entertain myself on the long bus ride home
>micro Sam. one grade younger than me. really small for his age
>i come up with an idea
>"Sam, crawl under the seats on the bus and quietly steal kids backpacks and bring them back here"
>he is tiny
>he slithers under the bus seats like some kind of micro ferret
>he successfully sneaks backpacks from kids on both sides of the bus
>backpack pile amassing in a seat near the back
>as kids are dropped off, they panic
>bags are missing
>bus driver does not believe them, says they must have left it at school
>forces them to get off the bus without their bag
>keks are had
>dare another kid on the bus, James (same grade as me, super ADHD) to start dropping the bags out a window so the bus driver won't find them later
>he does it
>do this a few times over a couple weeks
>not entertaining enough anymore
>normal friend Chris: has a retarded older brother, retarded Steve, who rides the bus with us (held back several grades)
>everyone treats retarded Steve with respect out of respect for Chris. retarded Steve sits sort of in the middle of the bus and we don't really interact with him much anyways
>Chris doesn't show up to school for a few days
>Chris is sick with the mono
>he will be gone for a while
>bored as fuck on hot bus ride home one day
>ask retarded Steve to come sit near the back with us so we can talk to him
>retarded Steve is obsessed with the tv show home improvement
>constantly trying to imitate Tim Allen grunt noise, whatever the fuck you call it, "daarrroooouh?"
>he is farting all the time and it smells disgusting
>open windows to vent the stench
>still bored
>command micro Sam to collect backpacks for my amusement
>the last time he collected them, the week before, we did stuff like swap the contents between bags, then micro Sam would troll back under the seats and put the bags back
>don't even understand to this day how no one ever noticed him doing this
>micro Sam appears from under the seat, dragging a lunch bag
>"i took this out of a bag"
>don't know why he decided to extract the lunch bag, i think to prove how stealthy he is
>it's a standard lunch bag. purple, the kind that is soft and sort of in the shape of a triangle that closes at the top with velcro
>get an idea
>dare retarded Steve shit in the lunch bag
>he doesn't understand at first
>explain to him. drop pants and shit in the lunch bag
>he understands, but is reluctant. me and Sam begin pressuring him
>tell him we do it all the time
>can tell he has to shit from the constant farting
>he decides to do it
>omfgyes.dll.zip.exe
>he pulls his pants down and puts his feet sort of up on the seat in front of him
>micro Sam hands him the opened lunch bag
>retarded Steve holds it up to his ass and lets it rip
>the shit explodes into the bag, propelled by tons of gas
>jesusfuckthesmell.bat
>laughing so hard i am crying.
>micro Sam is laughing so hard his laughter is silent
>look at the bus driver. she didnt hear. bus is still loud as fuck from all the kids
>look at retarded Steve
>he is putting the lunch bag on the floor under his seat and pulling his pants back up
>look at the lunch bag
>somehow all of the shit went into the bag. completely shit free on the outside. it is a school bus miracle
>tell retarded steve to close it and give it to micro Sam
>retarded steve hands the bag across the aisle
>look at micro Sam
>he is disgusted by the smell. i can tell by the look in his eyes that he knows what im going to say next
>"Sam, you have to put that lunch bag back in the bag you got it from"
>he smiles with sadistic agreement
>micro Sam gets onto the floor and begins carefully maneuvering the shit bag under the seat with him for the journey towards the front of the bus
>bus is speeding down a straight highway just outside the city
>the bus driver actually speeds on the highways everyday
>she is a terrible and scary driver
>it happens
>some random dog or something runs out onto the road (not actually clear on what it was, some kind of largeish brown animal, might have been a deer actually)
>bus driver slams on the brakes. bus comes to a complete stop
>hear a loud yell from about the middle of the bus, almost a scream
>its micro Sam
>hear loud crying, more yelling
>micro Sam, while delivering the retard shit bag, got thrown forwards under the seats
>his body squished the bag. he is covered in shit
>he is screaming and crying, pulling his way from under a seat into the aisle
>he begins vomiting into the aisle. the shit went in his mouth, nose, probably eyes
>micro Sam fucked his neck up, hit it against one of the seat pillars
>bus driver freaks the fuck out. unbuckles her seat belt and stands up yelling "what is going on" over and over again
>bus driver sees shit covered, vomiting, injured micro Sam in the aisle crying and screaming
>retarded Steve begins freaking out
>i am afraid of retarded Steve. he is prone to violent outbursts and has incredible retard strength. have seen him knock out a kid while waiting for the bus
>thankfully retarded Steve just begins moaning loudly and bashing his head into the seat in font of him
>bus driver calls 911
>we wait. stench is overwhelming on the hot bus, no air moving through the windows anymore due to the bus movement
>bus driver approaches micro Sam to help him, then backs away from him as she realizes there is shit all over him and the floor
>micro Sam is sobbing in a huge puddle of his vomit and retard shit
>other kids begin puking from the smell
>total chaos
>an ambulance comes and extracts micro Sam
>his neck is actually broken. medics strap him to the stretcher thing and drive away
>parents are arriving on the highway to get their kids
>my parents ask me what happened when they arrive, ask what happened to micro Sam (he used to come over sometimes to play video games)
>say i have no idea what happened. play dumb
>i'm freaking out internally
>next day at school
>principal makes announcement at the morning assembly about the incident, says to pray for micro Sam
>there's going to be an investigation
>ohfuck.jpg.rar
>there are cameras on the school busses in our city. we all thought they were fake though and just to scare us. they look like a black box with a dark plastic circle in the center
>turns out they actually have a camera in them
>next week at school. get called to the principal's office
>there is a fucking police officer there with my principal
>they have a TV on a wheel cart
>the officer puts a VHS tape into the VCR on the lower rack
>holy. fuck.
>known a girl for while
>says i was extremely important
>i felt the same
>she tries to drop me by just not talking
>i finally get her to admit she doesnt want me in her life anymore
Why am i happier with an answer like "get out of my life" than when it wasnt known if she wanted me gone?
i mean right now im not feeling any sadness, its like i just wanted an answer and dont care what the answer is, i just want to know.
closure is always a good thing
this is the worst fucking pepe i have ever seen
>>24506330
yeah, but shouldnt i feel atleast some pain? i just wanted to answers, they could literally be "kill yourself". It seems i just like answers
>don't worry bro, having sex is nothing special
If sex truly is "nothing special", why do normies spend huge amounts of time, energy and money to get it?
they're trying to hog all the sex for themselves
plus they want to keep betas down, which makes them feel good about themselves.
They are right in the sense that it feels worse than masturbation. But on the flip side the low after ejaculating is not as severe.
It really isn't as important as you'd believe. I can just stop having sex, it makes no difference to me.
It is essentially a different form of masturbation.
Of course this may not apply to normies as I have "anti-social personality disorder." Psychologists don't know shit.
what should i tell therapist today
tell her you want to help putin kill all the kebabs
Have you told your therapist about r9k? I'm wondering if I should tell mine about it...
>>24506300
/r9k/ isn't real anon
we're all a figment of your imagination
you know this
take the medicine
I've been wondering this for a while, regular "vanilla porn" gets boring after a while. People move on to more hardcore content. I've read many posts of someone going from regular porn to more hardcore and messed up stuff, some people admit to start watching gay and tranny porn, which for a "straight" person, it's not exactly normal.
What do you all think? It makes sense, but I've been "vanilla" since I started fapping.
>>24506107
It opens your mind to new ideas, by that i mean you're just fiscovering things you liked that you didn't know you liked. nothing bad really and everything changes your brain, the connections are constantly changing or whatever.
A lot of this is anecdotal.
Example, Hugh Hefner can only get off to gay orgy porn because he has seen all the straight stuff.
In reality, porn taste may change over time but moving towards more extreme is only one possibility of many.
>>24506107
Shit can get crazy. I rarely watch vanilla porn anymore. I'm always looking for something sickening. Rape simulation, granny, anal destruction, trap, jailbait, etc.
The one that makes me feel more guilty is trap porn. You're sitting there on your chair watching a guy fucking a girly guy in the ass as his dick bounces on the screen.
It's a sad road.
Post 'em
pornhub viewkey 1141282755
/27D0E62
viewkey=211410254
viewkey=1921065659
