Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8023. page
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>The year of our Lord MMXV
>still desperately trying to work around the robot and site-wide filter
>still desperately trying to force normie acronyms like ESS-EM-EITCH and normie abbreviations like EFF-EH-EM
>still desperately trying to say SEE-YOU-CEE-KAY as a generic insult in every sentence
What's wrong meme-rider? Are you still desperately trying to fit in with the "board culture" that you read about on r/4chan? Or are you just too dumb to come up with your own original thoughts?
>>24626437
OP I sent your image to all of my friends and now they won't talk to me
>>24626437
kek
baka
fem
>>24627644
I didn't know about the filter on same here, nice. What's the third one?
Why don't you commit murder?
cause jail is for normies
>>24626127
I will before killing myself.
Because I don't need to. The only person I'm really substantially angry at right now, I'm going to probably be able to send to prison. So that takes care of that without bloodying my hands.
Hello, robots.
I got a little too anxious the other day and crushed a wine glass in my hand, fucking it up pretty badly.
I've got surgery on Tuesday, but still am coming to school, as something tells me it's best not to totally fuck up academically too.
I now need an excuse for cutting a rather large hole in my hand that would be tolerated by various people at school. I don't want to tell them about the actual situation and then have to answer all kinds of unpleasant questions.
So, r9k, why is my hand bandaged?
>>24625929
You tried to catch the pieces of a glass after you broke it. Like you knocked it over and impulsively tried to stop some pieces from landing on the floor.
Close enough to the truth that you can lie about details if you have to.
>>24625929
Just tell them the truth? It's not that uncommon. Could be pretty amusing if you tell people the right way.
Excessive fapping.
know your place "malebots"
men can't be robots and you know it
What's your point? The reason those threads have so many replies is BECAUSE of malebots. Posters here like to cry bitches and whores all day but this board is one of the thirstiest places on the internet.
>malebots
that isn't a real word
Who here /amphetamines/
Are you speeding or thinking about it? Well get in here
Doctor gives me a script for my add but I never do anything with them but I have no booze or weed so I'll probably do some if some robots join me
if you don't use them you should sell/trade them for weed or booze
>>24625582
I got some pain killers but im on my last handfull. No idea how I'll get more drugs without a script
Had them, miss them. I can't use them responsibly.
Can you guys help me figure out this magic trick? I've showed it to a bunch of people and nobody can figure it out. It's a very old trick, and there's a lot of videos of different people performing it, and you can even buy the trick online for like $1,599, but I just can't figure out how it's done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oB988DB8gk
>>24625580
It's an illusion. A trick is something a whore does for money, Michael.
>>24625580
:) that was cool
>>24625580
Doug Henning was a great illusionist, he just kind of lost it when he got wrapped up in eastern mysticism and shit
What made early Spongebob so good /r9k/?
The animation, plus it was written better. These new writers they've been bringing in are horrible
>>24625542
A high-quality post by a tripfag again. Why isn't this the least bit surprising?
>>24625501
Apparently Hillenburg is finally coming back to the show after leaving around season 3 or 4. Hopefully he can bring the magic back.
>Exercising can kill you
>Not Exercising can kill you
>Sitting too much and not going to work can kill you
>Working too much can kill you
>Not eating much can kill you
>Eating too much can ill you
>Being productive can kill you
>Not being productive can kill you
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MAKE YOUR MINDS FUCKING UP NOOB NIGGER RESEARCHERS
>>24625489
Everyone dies anon. Fit people and couch potatoes will both die. Employed or unemployed, you will die. Fit people and fat people. Driven people and lazy people. Everyone dies.
>>24625640
so what are you trying to say
>what is moderation
Make bait threads
>300+ replies
Post genuine content
>less than 7 replies
Implying anyone cares ever
>>24625347
And this too, will get less than 7. Deal with it.
>>24625347
>make a constructive thought out nonshitposting post
>no replies
>act like a faggot shitposting in the same thread
>4 replies
Ugh
>be me
>be 21 now
>be 5'5 (165 cm)
>worked really hard to stop being a robot
>Once I cured myself, realized I'm a manlet
>Only girls that want to date me are female robots, landwhales and homos
Seriously, I have no idea what the fuck I need to do. For a long time I thought that height doesn't really matter, but now I'm not so sure.
>>24625268
Why wouldn't you want a female robot?
How did you stop being a robot?
>>24625268
>female robots
oxymoron
Does approaching girls actually happen in the UK outside of clubs? I feel like every piece of gf / casual sex obtaining advice is a troll or naive and practised by no one.
Approaching girls in public? Going to stupid mixed gender hobby clubs solely to hit on women? This is the best the normies can come up with? Judging from the internet, friendship circles and tinder (the two extremes of the socialising scale) seem like the only way to get girls to have sex with. Everything else is a troll. I went through uni and never saw anyone approach any girl in public.
>>24625223
I've only heard of Internet dating and friend of a friend working past your education days in the UK
>>24625223
Yeah, UK is pretty shit really. Hobby clubs and people in your social circle seem to be the only places to find an actual girlfriend rather than the sluts on tinder or whatever.
Have been thinking recently about how we have one of the worst cultures.
At least the US has a strong conservative presence.
We have to deal with the height of Western degeneracy from girls emulating US media with an almost exclusively liberal populace.
>can't drive for shit
>tfw qt's walking on the side walk laughing at you constantly stall the car and running it into the gutter while trying to reverse it out of a park
GODDAMMIT
WHY CAN'T I FUCKING DRIVE
>>24625116
Just run one of them over and blame it on not being able to drive well, you probably won't even be charged with anything because of the autism defense.
>>24625116
>can't drive for shit
what's the reason behind it? im way to scared and have crazy anxiety when im behind the wheel. haven't driven since the day i got my license. i passed the test and way pumped, i asked my dad if i could drive home. i crashed on the way home and now im spooked.
>>24625190
Fucking me too bro, I fuck up so much while driving, stall the car at traffic lights, stall it at roundabouts, run into other cars while braking on a slope, drive infront of cars who have the right of way, I just can't fucking do it, I panic and fuck up even more then
get in bots
anyone got any succes stories?
inb4 >r9k >success
I'm not successful but I manage I guess
>PTSD from childhood abuse
>Paranoid Schizophrenia
>Probably some form of attention deficit disorder
tfw feminists say they have PTSD from some anon on twitter calling them ugly
>>24625114
unmedicated?
I'm usually depressed to the bone and anxiety is constantly harrowing about. This makes me a cynical asshole with 0 social skills who's usually too tired to do anything.
However, I find that getting lost in studies shadows these feelings. Thus, I always do very good academically.
W.HEN I WAS...
(Sing it with me)
>>24624937
A YOUNG BOY nananana
>>24624937
sorry I don't listen to old man music
TRUST
IN
MY
SELF-RIGHTEOUS SUICIDE
>tfw 25
It's all downhill from here isn't it?
>>24624922
It has always been downhill, but now you bailed off and are just sliding down the road to have your skin wore out in the end
>>24624922
depends on what gender you are
Depends. Are you a KHHV working a shitty wageslave job?
Once you turn 25 it's pretty much over. Just give up and bee yourself from now on. Stop trying to please normies.
