Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3384. page
- Home
- Board: /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
- Reading: Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3384. page
You totaled your brand new car...
No I didn't, nigger
NOTHING
CAN REPLACE, BRADand then Liberty Mutual called
>>28292351 >>28292380
women haha amiright
If I'm fucking a girl in the ass, should I also stimulate her clit or finger her while doing so?
ask her if she'd like that
or just do it
>>28292229
not always, the dick generally hits the prostate and that helps
>>28292266
kek
good post, very original
if you could change one decision you made in your life, what would it be?
don't go to the fucking school just be a fucking serial killer
shoot everyone at school and myself because life got immediately worse when I started caring about others
Not being a good friend/son
maybe someday i'll find a girl and we'll be happy together
maybe. but it's highly unlikely
Probably not. We are all you got buddy
Not likely. You're much more likely to find a girl who is in her 30s who has 2 kids and has given up on her physical appearance and just wants a sugar daddy who is more pathetic than her
>bully a girl
>she grows up to be hot
how do I go back in time and stop myself?
>>28292041
>get bullied by men
>work hard to take care of my body
no dude go fuck yourself
you don't you fucking can't
>>28292041
if time travel were possible every one of us would be dead by our own hands
>tfw no pseudointellectual bf
>cant be with bf
im fuzcking bored
>cant stop feeling
is it normal to wear the same pair of jeans for weeks at a time, /r9k/?
Weeks? Nah, you have to wash occasionally.
But if you have two pairs of the same thing?
Fair game man
people don't often wash them but keep maybe 2-3 pairs of jeans and wear them on a certain rotation.
Can I wear khakis for a week before washing them?
How does one get a qt3.14 bf?
>tfw never had a bf
>never had a sexual experience
>never met any other gay/bi guys
>too socially retarded and anxious to use grindr
kill me
>>28291889
>>28292078
>>>/lgbt/
Fuck outta here faggots, you have your own containment board, use it.
qt3.14 bfs are rare and generally never settle for second best. So unless you are a 10/10 try looking for someone you are legit attracted to.
>Tfw you will never be passionate about a religion
Why is agnosticism so boring?
>>28291862
I'm gravitating towards a Nietzsche-esque world view with some hints of pre-christian European religion. If there is a God I adhere to the neoplatonic notion of the one from which everything else emanates and which has no particular attributes outside of being all good.
>>28291927
Did you make up like half of those words?
>TFW have to become a celebate holy man
>TFW feeling the pain and heartache of the lost sheep
>TFW we are alone in this world
What is your dream job, /r9k/?
>>28291756
Whaler
Writing bios for sex toys. Specifically Bad Dragon.
Admiral of a navy doesn't matter which one they are all the same
>>28291798
>>28291845
What is your dream job that is also realistic?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't understand why I had to be this way, my one chance at life and I'm me
Life is a lottery. Not an original sentiment, but true nontheless.
Not the answer you were hoping for, I know, but that's what it is.
All this shit is randomly generated. You were assigned to be a minor npc, not the protagonist.
>>28291684
>What the fuck is wrong with me?
Let's face it
Probably autism.
>>28291791
But why?
Why must I live in a reality where some people have the time of their lives and others like me live through pure hell? If there is a god he's either a real fucking asshole or I was a real asshole in a past life
If you could go back in time and change one decision you made, what would it be.
I would have joined the Air Force after high school.
I would be a full Norman.
Life ain't so bad right now. It's pretty good even.
But i used to have ambitions of being a Chad.
Wouldnt start smokin weed at 14
Learn math
Do sports
Stop caring about music
Thats about it
>>28291672
Choosing my "friends" over my qt christian gf.
Reminder that frogposting unironically in the current year is advocating for and allowing pic related to happen. It's time for a new meme, lads.
can is helpp a meme helping
>>28291652
You can help by going back to lebbit
>>28291614
>>28291751
Reminder hating pepe is a stale outdated meme
i can't believe i'm here with all of you, we might follow in the same foot steps of each other, we share things in common.
i wonder what my life would have been like had i not discovered 4chan
>>28291536
I think if I hadn't discovered 4chan I'd actually be worse off. 4chan was one of the first times in my life that I got expose to middle class culture.It taught me that being fat isn't genetic, poor people are just lazy and filthy, and "lonely" women aren't real
Not that different. I only started coming here with GumberGape at age 30 but was an Internet weirdo up until now.
My impression coming here was that I had found the place I should have been all along.
>>28291621
>middle class culture
huh
>be me 3 years ago
>decide to try tinder for the first time
>get a match, girl from bordering country, seems nice, fuckyea.png
>start talking, find out she is from same country as me
>keep chatting for a while, portrait myself as a sex god chad
>she asks me to go to her place, not far since i live close to border, but i'm poorfag
>invent some crazy story so i can explain why i can't go
>days go by, months go by, years go by, i finally send her a photo of me, she likes me, ohgodyes.gif
>chat for a while, then only during big holidays as christmass and easter
>get a job in a far away country, stop chatting, become a half-assed normie, can't stop thinking about her
>find her on facebook after around 150+ hours of searching and filtering bitches
>have a bad day at work, threaten boss with death if he won't leave me do my job
>get fired
>come back home, she texts me on tinder, she moved to same city as me, itstime.jpg
>chat some more, get her to meet me, literally kiss her ass in front of people, ask her to meet again, she agrees
>go to her place, she gets naked, asks me to massage her back with oil, nowisthetime.jpg
>power levels begin to show, trying my hard to keep my cool, while she turns around and tries to kiss me
>go with the flow, kiss her like i saw in lesbian porns, she loves it
>she wants me to fuck her. instead i sperg out and dry hump her while she gets wet as fuck
>keep doing same foreplay shit for an hour or so, she gets angry and bored
>anon why won't you fuck me
>ohshit.jpg invent some crazy ass story about prostate cancer, altough i'm 27, so kinda young for that shit
>she buys it, leaves me be and starts crying while she tries to make me eat her
>i dodge as a motherfucker, invent some other crazy story about a funeral i have to attend and leave
>days go by, i can't stop thinking about her, call her around 3 am every night, and talk with her about my invented cancer
>keep going like this for 2 months, she asks me when we are going to fuck, tbc
>>28291504
this is the dumbest story ever
>keep going on with the lie, while i research online everything there is about prostate cancer
>after some weeks i tell her the chemo works, and i am kinda cured
>she calls me one night when i had a dota 2 competition
>fuck my friends, i'm gonna do it
>go to her place, sperg out, while drunk af, and do same shit as first time, only thougher stuff
>fall asleep after 4 hours of petting
>wake up, stare at her for 2 hours till she wakes up
>she awakes and tries to fuck me, ohfuckwhy.png
>i dodge as hard as i can, have to protect my virginity
>she gets bored, tells me she leaves to her parents place, they live 700kms away, for the holidays
>dontleavemeplease.jpg
>tells me when she gets back she wants the greatest fuck ever
>never fapped once, khv me before i met her, tell her i will deliver
>have no idea how i will do that
so, fellow robots, help me please, i'm up for anything right now, desperate as fuck, she comes back in 2 weeks or so, any advice is welcome, also i think i fucking love her
PS: she is a camgirl, still she hasn't fucked anyone after meeting me, so i guess that's a plus
PIC RELATED, IS HER
Just fuck her you dumbass
