Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3387. page
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>severe weather
>>28289820
>stacy's getting wetter
>>28289820
Nothing comfier than a good storm
Even better when the power goes out
>>28289820
>tfw cant afford to move out of my shithole town in shithole part of USA that constantly gets severe weather
>you arae drunk and watching a movie you remember watching and cuddling with her
>she is getting banged by her new boyfriend
you hanging in there robots
she doesn't care about you
at all
>being drunk
>watching movies
I always lose my attention span when getting drunk. Can barely play games let alone watch movies. Wasup witchu dawg?
thanks, I needed that
tnemmoc lanigiro
>my last name literally means relationship in German
>can't get a gf
>tfw irony is so cruel
>>28289775
Beziehung?
>>28289832
No, and we are not playing "guess my last name."
>>28289775
>Beziehung
>Verhaeltnis
>Verbindung
>Bindung
SHHHH don't wake up the NEET. He has had a very long day shitposting and jacking off to cartoon porn. Word on the street is that he is suicidal because he is STILL a virgin. LOL. Oh well, I am going to go out tonight with my wife and were going to drink good wine that a NEET couldn't afford. Did I mention I am going to be driving my lambo out tonight? Anyways, feels good to contribute to society and make A LOT of money. Well bye NEET, don't kill yourself while I am out.
>>28289638
Where has our resident NEET been? Seems like he hasn't been posting the past few days, Sunday/Monday are usually his most active times
>>28289638
TICK TOCK NEETKEK
>>28289638
TICK TOCK NEETKEK
TICK TOCK
>2005 is closer to 1994 than to 2016
>>28289619
>we are closer to 2030 than 2000
Original homie
>>28289653
somehow that seems less worse
Youtube went online in 2005
Hey robots please help me out.
I am currently high and drunk as fuck. I am craving pizza BUT I need to get money and the bank is in the opposite direction from the pizza store and is a 20 minute walk away from home. How should I proceed if I want to get my money, and then buy the pizza?
>>28289603
Buy the pizza with a card you nonce
order a jewber
>>28289603
if i were you i'd sleep it off
hu else on that paper pl8 life?
>>28289599
*who
*plate
*who else here uses paper plates?
fix'd that for you.
>>28289599
I have 1 plastic bowl and 1 plastic cup
Just scrub it after each meal, idk why people even need a dishwasher tbqhwyf
What up motherfucker, real dishes are for faggots and idiots.
>>28289622
Fuck off back to some other site, his post was more interesting and silly than your stupid bullshit.
>just dropped my son on the floor
>not even 2 months in and I blew parenthood
>>28289564
it happens man.
Was he squirming? I dropped my daughter down the stairs like that once
>>28289564
Can't be as bad as that guy who sat on and killed his sisters newborn.
>>28289564
>be dad
>posts on /r9k/
wonderful.
What's the comfiest position to lie in bed with a laptop? Lying on my back always gives me a weird neck pain after a few minutes
Pic unrelated
like this
as9oreu3w49ru32wefujwe
the comfiest position is none, since you don't use it on a bed, for far of burning your sheets
>>28289632
And don't forget that sweet ass toasted skin syndrome
>when whites think they can be robots
5643
12
Betting you have an asian mother right now
youre no better qualified to be a robot, chink
>Most featured and prized male in the media
>Every race of women desires you
>Judged by your own actions, not a shitty stereotype
>Can be a robot
Pisses me off so fucking muchShitposting aside, people end up here one way another because sometime along our paths we have failed. We should be a band of brothers, why is there in fighting?
Who /failed chad/ here? I thought I could tell my story so robots can laugh at my downfall...
Freshman in high school
>bullied
>short
>leads me to go to the gym and learn martial arts
>slowing gaining Muscle
>join the speech team to gain self confidence
Fast forward to senior year
>working out has led to a hormonal growth spurt which makes me 6'1
>185 pounds 9% bodyfat
>bullies are terrified of me even though I'm nice
>become Captain of the speech team and go to 3 national speech tournaments
>ask 10/10 goddess from speech team to prom and she accepts
>have a blast at prom and cuddle with first and new gf (pic related is me around that time)
>graduate and get accepted to the college of science and engineering at big 10 university
>acquire literal female orbiters
>Feels amazing. Best times of my life
Summer
>work a retail job at office max and acquire money
>go out drinking with friends on the weekends and generally enjoy life
>go on multiple dates with gf and discover that she thinks I'm an amazing kisser and looks at me like I'm a God
>one night, fail miserably at trying to get it on with her
>still a virgin
>never call her again out of embarrassment
>still have female orbiter friends but don't pursue them
Uh oh. Fast forward to college
>start college and make some friends
>things go very well and get good grades first semester
>have tfw no gf but can't find anyone to ask out
Winter break
>start to notice Bizzare perceptual changes, but disregard them as me "thinking too much"
>go back to college next semester
>have a fully blown psychotic break and get put in the psych ward
>told I have schizoaffective disorder
>mom forces me to drop out of college and become NEET
>lose all of my friends due to the retarded shit I did when I was psychotic
>no friends
>no gf
>virgin
>no foreseeable future
>stop going to the gym
>play dark souls and shit post all day
>become mysogynist
And here we are. Feel free to laugh.
That part about bullies being scared of you is just ridiculous. You don't look scary at all. I used to bully kids like you to hide my imperfections and pain.
Damn. That hairline. There was never any hope for you OP
F
Sorry man. Probably was just a matter of time til the cray came out.
>pull sweatpants down over penis to pee
>pee
>lift sweatpants up
>before I can cover my penis, a drop falls onto the front of my sweatpants
>light gray so it's obvious I got piss on myself
>>28289458
You done goofed motherfucker
>>28289458
>Small dick feels thread?
Small dick feels thread
>>28289475
it's not that bad because I'm at home but if my family sees me they'll laugh and say that I peed myself.
![85cfce5e3a8ab7b4d855fe7be63d1d27[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/fPprM3B.jpg "85cfce5e3a8ab7b4d855fe7be63d1d27[1]")
Have any robots been to a church nowadays?
>went to one for a world religions course
>minister comes to the podium
>his lecture doesn't even have anything to do with morals or useful pieces of wisdom
>it's literally him teaching subversive techniques to convert people
>he even showcases an app to convert people
>right after he finishes a band walks on stage
>starts singing vague and repetitive shit about jesus
>"JESUSSUS IS MY LORD OR I GO TO HELL"
>does this for thirty minutes
>i walk out the door
>they stop me and literally use the same techniques that was taught in the lecture
>"WOULD YOU LIKE A BOOKLET?"
>fuckno.jpg
This is like some cult shit or something, especially with the pandering for kids using the rock band and whatnot
But I guess they have to go to new lows with kids (the future followers of the religion) realizing that their religion is boring shit and leaving.
>>28289376
Bump for mumps
>>28289376
I went once but had to leave because nobody liked me. Even among religious folk I was still an outcast.
That sounds degenerate as fuck. You should go to a Christian conservative Polish church. Maximum comfy desu. No gimmicks, no bullshit.
On day five lads, does it get any easier?
>>28289363
Yeah it gets really easy when you just decide to wank and stop being dumb
>>28289363
you literally accomplish nothing by nofap
what are you trying to prove?
20 days here, its getting easier to resist after 10days + but i dont feel any improvement at all
How do HKVs exist? I get the kissless virgin part, that just means you've never had a girlfriend. But hugless? Most girls freely give out hugs for the most platonic reasons. For example, in astronomy lab this morning my female lab partner gave me a excited lab when I calibrated a tough rotational orbit. There is nothing romantic/sexual about hugs.
>>28289336
Excited hug, not excited lab. Lol, my bad.
>Most girls freely give out hugs for the most platonic reasons.
Not to ugly people.
>>28289336
>Most girls freely give out hugs for the most platonic reasons.
to normalfags
