Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 714. page
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Well it finally happened /r9k/. First I went here, and then I escaped to /fit/, and then away from 4chan. But my friends have finally decided to abandon me. We just finished community college together.
>we have a final graduation party
>a couple days later one of them asks me about a get together I know nothing about
>I realize they're hanging out without me
>one of them pity invites me after it starts (presumably after hearing I heard about it)
>I decline in disgust
>days pass
>I start to get suspicious that there's a Fourth of July party I'm not invited to
>straight up ask two people what they're doing for the holiday
>read 5m ago
>read 35m ago
>check their snapscores
>they're still going up, meaning they're talking to other people
>normalfag problems
w/e
>>29709436
The point is that once a robot, always a robot.
find out where they are and "liven up the place" with a sig brand p226, one of the best on the market
My friends dragged me out to a night club tonight, and some random girl sat herself next to me when they were buying beer and started talking to me. She asked me what I worked with, how much she really dislikes loud clubs and kept touching my arm. Being the autists that I am I was able to keep up a conversation for a while but then eventually went quiet, and she excused herself and left.
How much did I fuck up?
>>29709379
Apparently that means she wanted you. but you failed. so I guess you fucked up. Better to fuck up and be wrong than pursue and be wrong though. Did you think this girl was attractive? Do you think your friends sent her after you?
>>29709379
>how much she really dislikes loud clubs
why was she there then wtf
normalfag world is fucking alien to me
>>29709379
Don't think about it too much anon
she thought you were boring btw
don't worry it'll happen again
I'm sorry for being so ugly
I'm sorry for being so repulsive
I'm sorry that I'm completely undesirable
I'm sorry everyone else is better than me
I'm sorry nobody has ever been attracted to me
I'm sorry nobody will ever be attracted to me
I'm sorry for being born
I never wanted any of this
>>29709371
its okay anon, we all know the feel
Let's kill ourselves, Anon. It's the only way we'll be at peace.
>>29709371
JUST dont let it happpen again anon.
Ill let you off with a warning this time.
Anons I think I lost my sister's cat
>dealer drops by yesterday when no one but me is home
>as he hands me the weed dumbass cat runs outside, pic related
>honestly don't care enough anymore to bring him back in
>this cat is litterally retarded
>always jumps on the table when I'm eating to attack my food
>explosive pukes on carpet once a week
>shits in the tub in the corners everyday
>was abandoned by his mother early in his life so he sucks on my blanket as if it were his momma cat tiddies
This cat is 6 months old already, fucking six months old and still does this shit above on the daily.
>back on topic
>cat isn't supposed to leave house
>cat hasn't come back so far
>it's been 24 hours
>mfw my family comes back and asks where he at
>hegonenow.jpg
>whole family turns against me
>"anon why the fuck did you let him out"
>"anon you cost us 150$ for letting angus (cat name) out"
>ANON YOU'RE GOING DOOR TO DOOR TOMORROW TO ASK WHERE IS YOU'RE SISTER'S CAT"
FML that cat is gonna learn the hard way I'm fucking sick and tired of this little shit. HELP I just want this shit to end
>>29709370
>cat is 6 months
the cat is basically a fucking baby, moron what do you expect when spoiled cunt sister doesn't know how to fucking train her cat?
>the cat is literally retarded
says the fucking guy who loses a cat, how the fuck do you lose a cat?
>>29709370
Follow the vomit trail and or leave odorous tuna out to draw him back to the house. Get a cam and record the spot in which you're leaving tuna, make note of when he most often shows up and try to capture him at those times. Alternatively, leave a coin trap (or an opossum trap, dependent of which part of the states you originate from) and catch him that way.
>>29709651
I opened the door and the cat ran outside on the lawn. Couldn't give any more fucks and simply left him there instead of putting shoes on and dragging my ass to bring the fucker back in.
>"he'll be back"
>tfw cat won't show up because he's absolutely retarded
It's 10:15 on a Saturday night. What's your excuse for being on /r9k/?
The fact that's 4 am.
It's like 3 am
>>29709355
It's 3:16am Sunday here.
I'm going to kill myself lmao
>>29709353
ok but remember now that you said it you have to go through without otherwise you're a fag and a liar
>>29709353
i have crippling depression and social issues, and i want to die
>>29709931
Commit homicide against yourself
A wild sun appears lmao
VERY BOOTYFUL!
Obbieee dowwie
delete this nawWWW!
Midgets can date other midgets. Literal autists can get qt autist gfs. Why can everyone form meaningful connections except us? Is this one single truth; that autists can get gfs but not us, proof that girls can't be robots?
>thinks /r9k/ isn't full of autism
some just end up more functional or lucky than others
>>29709224
Maybe people with down syndrome would be a better term than autists. I'm talking about literal kids who can barely talk, drool on themselves, and needed a teacher to follow them at all times during school.
Wouldn't the groups have to be the exact same size for this to work out?
>every fembot I meet complains about being lonely and never getting a boyfriend
>when I try to get close they ghost me
Literally Kill Yourself you guys have it easy.
>girls dont want me
>it's their fault
Ok OP
>>29709088
Maybe you'd be a shitty boyfriend.
>"Buuhh it's cause I'm not Chad"
No, it's actually possible for a woman not to want to date you for reasons other than you not being Chad.
women cant be fembots
I have no girlfriend to spend this money on, what should I do with my newfound cash pile ?
>>29709038
whats that, 300 if i counted right?
buy yourself a half ounce of some kush for 150 and and a nice bong with the rest
PLS BUY ME LEGION
Invest in the lottery and hate yourself when you realize you've lost 300 bucks
I heard a black girl say once, "Shoulda', Coulda', Woulda' are the last words of a fool"
Is she right?
>>29709024
who cares what a women thinks
>>29709024
I'd enslave her and make her my bed warmer if you know what I mean.
I know a girl who looks like that, half Indian half black
She had the softest lips ever. Sorry whites, you just can't compete with their ooga booga lips when it comes to sensation.
>tfw too late to save Elsa Jean from making shitty life decisions
I literally just jacked off to a BLACKED.COM video of her.
This particular one.
this is 2016. girls don't like being saved anymore.
>Take a seat witeboi
How do you respond?
>>29708903
um I just take a seat like a normal person
Nah I'm good, thanks though...(considering there are no empty seats)
Dude, this backpack has like fucking a pound of RDX and metal anime figurines in it. Did you really think I didn't know this was a setup? Tell you what. YOU have a seat, and YOU explain to me a scenario in which I can leave here at no threat to my liberty and life, and maybe this doesn't end with us both being washed off the walls. It won't be easy, lad.
When does it get better guys? I'm 27 and still working a minimum """"""living""""""" wage job this cunt of a boss constantly backchats me when I'm doing a good job even though he's a literal manchild that goes up at 3pm while I stay and get all the shit customers.
I'm still living at home with my mum and stepdad, I have autism and it sucks what's worse is I cant go into the army or police because they cant take anyone blind in one eye.
Am I selfish for wanting to kill myself once my mum and dad are dead?
>>29708892
Just join the military man. Its pretty comfy here
Kill yourself and hope for a better existence next time.
>>29708926
Can't , my depth perception won't meet army requirements.
This is a stickup!
Put the gfs in the bag!
you're looking in the wrong place friend...
Enjoy leaving empty handed.
If you wanted some loot, you should've said waifus.
>>29708885
*Pulls out Katana*
*Teleport by you and behead you*
*Tips Fedora
>Nothing personell kid
