Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 715. page
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If you could travel back in time where/how far back would you go, what would you do and what's one item you'd bring with you?
>inb4 nazi germany
Go back to the dawn of time where there was only energy. Then I absorb the energy and become god of the universe.
>22 and a half years
>A condom
Take a wild fucking guess.
> be one month after gun runner incident
> Six still complains about the 5,000 caps despite the fact that nobody in Vegas is producing decent guns anymore
> I've been around Six for six months and he hasn't tried to gut me yet
> YET
> we're clearing out some deathclaws out of some quarry near Black Mountain
> Notice how good I am with a gun
> put a bullet right through the female deathclaw's eye
> it's still alive
> it's in a fetal position screaming
> Six sees this "unfortunate" event and decides to make it worse
> he begins to put a slug in the face of all of its offspring
> female deathclaw screams louder and louder with every gunshot
> finally he mercy kills the poor thing
> We later go to Goodsprings, drinking and eating deathclaw omelets Six cooked up
> at least he's not eating the tits of a female NCR soldier this time
> or the ass cheeks of a legionaire
> I get drunk enough to where I begin telling him about my past
Basically some fuckers burned down my family ranch, along with many other things.
> ask Six if I should slow down and enjoy my twilight years or go back to full-time gunslinging
> Six's response: "You got a mariachi outfit?"
MFW
Fast forward several weeks
> around the second battle of Hoover Dam
> Six has a fucking robot ARMY
> WHEN THE FUCK DID HE GET THIS
> ALL HE'S BEEN DOING IS KILLING PEOPLE AND GETTING FISTED IN THE ASS BY ROBOTS
> yea that happened too
> don't ask
> He's in some pre-war riot gear, and ever since the quarry he's made me wear the "funny suit"
> he's literally picking up legion soldiers and breaking their back on his knee
> he must've taken psycho, because there's no way he's that strong
> I scream out to him over the artillery, gunfire, screaming and... moaning?!
> Six is literally getting off on war
> I ask "Boss did you take some psycho?"
> he moans really loud
> I guess he didn't
> his moans turn into roars as he rips the arm off a poor girl and beats her with it
> this is my life now
> 4 hours later, and 50+ corpses later we are at the Legate's camp
> the Legate is a BIG MOTHERFUCKER
> Six isn't smiling
> oh god
> legate grabs him by the neck and throws him down a 10 foot drop
> jumps down and lands on his chest, audibly cracking Six's ribs
> I watch in absolute horror as the "Monster of the East" and "Terror of the Mojave" battle it out
> fast forward two hours
> they're still going
> there's dead legionnaires everywhere
> and the occasional slave
> not to mention a few dog carcasses
> Legate decides enough is enough
> tears riot helmet off of Six and grabs his jaw
> Six is screaming in agony
> thinking I should run away and just go back to my shack
> I think of all the moments I've had with Six
> some are actually good
> I got laid with a ghoul cowboy once because of him
> grab grenade out of pocket and jump on Legate Lanius' back
> take his helmet off
> OH GOD HE'S SO UGLY FUCK
> I LOOK BETTER THAN HIM
> Scream in Spanish, pull grenade pin and jam it down Lanius' throat
> BOOM
> After Lanius explodes I help Six shamble out of this graveyard
> some NCR fuckhead shows up and begins talking to my boss in a condescending way
> Six, spitting out teeth as he speaks, politely tells General Oliver to shove it up his ass
> Six tells his robots to throw Oliver off of the dam
> MFW
This was a fun write. I should do this more often, and in more detail.
Where's my military robots at? Its the 4th of july here on oki and of course i'm on duty. How are yalls days going?
try not to rape anyone
>>29708778
Half of my training is on how to not rape people so im good on that part
not
>military
but hello sad you wont blow shit up this 4th of july
Hey bros!
I just got back from this family event but the picture came out a bit dark...Would anyone here be able to lighten this for the family?
Help would be fantastically appreciated! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>29708693
your senpai is shit just like you go die normie
>>29708740
epic, simply epic
origicomentiisorigi
This is the best I can do without a RAW.
I have this fear that the moon could crash into earth. Can some sciencefag please tell me that it isnt possible?
>>29708687
It's possible, but an asteroid would need to hit it pretty fast at the right angle to cancel out the momentum.
As of now, I believe its orbit is actually increasing in size, so you should worry about the moon fucking off, not hitting us.
>everyone dying horribly
>bad
>>29708739
Why would it leaving be bad? I know theres water levels involved and whatnot but what real consequences would it really have?
>tfw normal weight but look disgustingly fat
what the fuck do I do bros
>>29708605
Start taking testosterone you low test bitch
>I'm not skinny i'm just small boned!
That just mean that you are fat and lack muscle mass, go work out
What's your opinion on magic mushrooms?
They're interesting but ultimately didn't change my life.
Dunno but Yume Nikki is great.
>>29708600
Drugs are for loser degenerates. Stop doing drugs and get a job. Your parents are most likely disappointed in you. Just fix your life already, if not for yourself, for your parents. And if your parents are dead, then I'm sorry, but I guess you have to do for another family member who cares about you. Because deep down your family does care about you, and they want to see you succeed, but the way you are no, doing drugs and going on 4chan, you won't ever be great in their eyes. Please just make a positive change in your life. Please stop being a degenerate.
Does anyone else have nick names they like to call their SO's ?
mine is Snowberry and i won't tell you what it means.
>Anyone else here having a SO
>>>/Facebook/
You need a facebook in order to obtain said SO
not having a facebook is considered weird or at least strange.
>>29708594
I call the two girls I sleep with Baby Bee and Princess :)
these faggots are shooting off fireworks REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I JUST WANT TO ENJOY THE QUIET!!!!!!
If you REEEE at them in Microsoft Sam's voice, they'll stop
>have work at 5am
>need to be up at 4am
>as soon as I lay down to go to sleep normies start with their goddamn fireworks
>niggers shooting off fireworks and revving their tuners near a dead end where I live
>cops called, niggers scramble as soon as they show up
>cop sits there for the rest of the night to make sure they don't come back
I love the police
Tons of you claim to have been here for a decade, but I almost NEVER see a filename below 14.
You just came here after Oregon, didn't you?
>>29708480
I think most people probably use the 4chanX filename randomizer desu
No, I'm just a lazy piece of shit that deletes my image folder out of disgust every few weeks.
Then how do I remember those guy fawkes fags showing up and moots response was brb soup. There was even a guy who fucked a skull he took from the paris catacombs. That being said I rename all my files and have gone through 5 desktops since ive been here.
>fireworks going off already
RRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
i hate this noise
>>29708411
I watched them from my roof. Comfy as fuck.
Sometimes it's nice to go outside.
I HEAR THEM TOO OP DO YOU LIVE IN NJ THE PENNSYLVANIAN BORDER IS LITERALLY FIREWORKS SHOPS (THERE ILLEGAL IN NJ)
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COPS DO YOUR JOB
these fucking shitheads keep shooting their fireworks on JULY 3rd
Ah get over it nerd, go out there and shoot some of your own!
>tfw making an 8 in the air with a sparkler
Get on my level, normies have shot off fireworks for at least an hour every night since June 31st
last week I was diagnosed with testicular cancer, I got my testicle taken out about 5 days ago. Today my girlfriend of 5 years tells me she's leaving me cause she can't deal with someone with cancer. The girl I live with is kicking me out because I can't pay rent in full this month because I had a major surgery and can't work. On top of all that my cat ran away. so now I'm broke homeless and cat-less.
how's your 'almost 4 of July' goin?
listening to my mom's boyfriend fuck her in the other room.
Jesus man, that's fucked up.
>>29708336
>she's leaving me cause she can't deal with someone with cancer
there is no such thing as love
What can I do now as a highschool senior (18) to ensure that I can make a good living in the future?
I just don't want to be a broke ass bum.
Don't do drugs, stay away from girls (until you are financially stable), Get a job, save up....?
>>29708316
build a good resume by working, taking internships and volunteering
find someone with a secure job, kill them and wear their skin
tfw no one ever wants to have an actual discussion
I can`t tell if my friends are all dumbassess or if i`m a jackass
books
> sorry anon, I havent read anything in soo long
films
>oh yeah, I saw Popstar last night it was sooo good. What? Tarkovsky? Why would I watch an old movie?
and it always ends with
> wow anon you're so smart, i'll just agree with you
I'M NOT EVEN SMART, I'M A FUCKING DUMBASS. I JUST WANT TO HEAR PEOPLES OPINIONS BUT THEY DON'T HAVE ANY REEEEEEEEEE
>>29708305
I've been trying to get my Normie friends to watch stalker for 2 years
Needles to say that I wasn't successful with it
>>29708348
ok thank god i`m not the only one with this feel.
Who do you talk to about this stuff? It really depresses me when I can't discuss any of my real interests besides Netflix and school.
>>29708408
My oldest brother mostly, he's a decent man. I only have like 3 friends who I've known since day one, but they're all as normie as one can be.
Anyway, I get how you feel. It's almost absurd, isn't it ? I'm not intelligent, I'm a screw-up in most aspects. Nonetheless the normies consider me somekind of failed genius, although I've only failed without the genius-part.
