Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5181. page
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>Wanting an older, busty woman to hold you close, bow her head until it rests on top of yours while her hair drapes down, and simply hug you until you grow tired of standing
>Wanting an older woman to pet your head and say it's okay to cry in her arms
>Wanting an older woman to be legitimately shocked when you say you love her right before she calms down, lets out a small tired chuckle followed by a small reply that she's just surprised you'd fall in love with an old hag like her
>Wanting an older woman to subtley and unintentionally make remarks about her age only to blush and become flustered when you take her self-depreciating humor too seriously and tell her to stop it because she's beautiful
>Wanting an older woman to climb under the sheets with you, hold you close, and let you touch her in places that she hasn't felt another's hands on in an eternity
>Wanting an older woman to gently headpat you
>Wanting an older woman to slowly, and shyly, show you her nether regions as she asks you to be gentle because she believes you to be some rabid, youthful, machine under the sheets
>Wanting an older woman to be pleasantly surprised and hold you close between her large breasts as she gently sighs and wraps her thick legs around you reassuring you it's okay to cum inside her while she gazes at you with teary and lusty eyes
>Wanting to fall asleep in an older woman's arms with the room smelling faintly of women's perfume, sweat, and sex
>Wanting to wake up to an older woman in a naked apron asking you 'Ara ara~ do you want breakfast, a bath, or perhaps...' right before she breaks into laughter at how silly it sounded
>Wanting an older woman to gently sigh, and with her lusty relaxed eyes tell you 'honey, last night was wonderful. I love you.'
You're honestly a weirdo if you want to do any of this with a woman old enough to be your mom.
>>26661958
Well OP you have our attention. Continue.
>>26662900
same shit was posted last night
>>26661958
Yes OP, explain to us, but I charge 100 gbp per hour to guard you
Whenever I see someone being nice on 4chan I automatically assume they're a queer
>>26661947
you're not wrong.
orig.
>>26661947
you're a fag too
whenever I see people posting anime reaction images with their post I assume they have severe autism
I am Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Federation star ship Enterprise, we are on a mission of peace and exploration.
>>26661940
Who can do the best picard?
mines pretty bad
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1iDOcYc0BOp
>>26661940
Where's this thread going / suppose to go?
>>26662018
Where no thread has gone before.
>tfw no puso racing, kumot weaving, puwit slapping, paa rubbing, buhok combing, ulo scratching, simbahan attending, parol hanging, kamay washing, tuko calling, jeepney driving, kanin picking, manok chasing, tinikling dancing, tiyanak finding, aswang hunting, damit wearing, kabayo riding, carabao herding, baboy wrestling, duwende stomping, lechon roasting, lumpia cooking, pancit making, sinigang eating, forest loving, /r9k/ posting, qtp2t filipina gf
i wanna go there to buy some cheap pussy
>>26662061
cheap CATHOLIC pussy
Holy shit you still do this.
Will any lurking normies help me understand how this position feels like?
Also what's your favorite position?
Why don't you ask your mom, i heard she loves that position.
it's great.
it's the best position to really grab ahold to her ass
>>26661831
I asked her, she said to ask my father. He doesn't get home for another hour.
>>26661898
PLEASE tell me more
Do you believe there exists intelligent life forms on other planets?
I'd say it's a possibility, but they aren't intelligent enough to have us know about them or their home is too far away from the Milky Way Galaxy
Yes, I highly doubt their language would be anything near ours, though, we'd probably have to find another way to communicate with them
also hope we colonize mars
Definitely. The planet that they come from is a very peaceful place. It's quite nice and a very happy place. Every one of them has a smiling face.
They hardly ever walk, instead they mostly dance.
They hardly ever speak, instead they mostly sing.
We sure could learn a lot from those folks in outer space.
What was the most degrading thing you ever did as an orbiter?
>>26661708
Orbited one of my best friend girlfriend.
Used to get the bus down to her work and walk her back to her house and then get the bus back home. It was an hour bus ride.
Eventually I realized what a faggot I was being apologized to my friend for being a faggot and forgot about her. She cheated on him in the end anyway. I just like to forget about it.
>>26661708
>she needs a ride
>ask mom whether I can take the car to "go pick up my girl"
>one hour drive
>"hi anon, this is chad, you wouldn't mind him coming with us?"
>stop at the mall
>go buy food to take home
>come back to the car
>girl and chad are fucking at mom's car
>wait until they are done
>"uh, anon, sorry! It just happened! Are you mad?"
>"uh, n-n-o, I'll clean it"
>the smell remains
>mom thought I was with a prostitute
>why god why
>>26661842
Damn, this made me sad
Reminder that pathetic beta cucks will literally do anything to "please mistress"
>tfw this makes you incredibly hard
>tfw no Mistress gf to plug your cute ass
Thanks for the suffering OP ;_;
>24/7 anal plug
Man, he's going to have some serious problems with his anus when he's 40. Severe incontinence. kek
>>26661691
I gagged a little.
Honestly, why the fuck would anyone do this as 24/7 thing? I could understand maybe a day or two to live out the fetish, but a lifelong commitment? You'd have to be a fucking idiot.
Should I even bother trying to lose weight? I'm thinking I should just stay the course and hit the big 300.
It's your shit life, not mine. Just saying you probably shouldn't be a disgusting fatass on a scooter
>tfw skinnyfat with gyno
In all honesty, fuck you OP. I worked my ass off in high school to lose weight thinking it was just being fat that was responsible for my mantits, but it is genetics. I fucking hate faggots like you who are just lazy cunts who sit around complaining about being fat cunts. I'm joining the Navy in a few months to get out of NEEThood, I fucking know my bitch tits are going to get roasted non-stop by everyone until I either become a trauma case or kill myself.
>>26661678
>scooter
Please. I can walk just fine.
>>26661748
>I fucking hate faggots like you who are just lazy cunts who sit around complaining about being fat cunts.
WDYTWA?
Any NC bots here? How hard would it be to be living from your car in Charlotte? Pretty sure I can get a job there somehow, exercise at the gym, and read at a library or take classes at the local community college there.
So I've finally thought of 3 ways to make it:
>Sleep in different Walmart parking lots each night.
>Rent a parking spot from someone through craigslist and sleep there
>Find a someone willing to rent me a sofa/bed just to sleep for the night and leave to go to work.
What you robots think? Is it viable?
>>26661634
You can definetly find a flat and rent a bed .
I live in Charlotte, what are your deets? I might be able to lend a hand.
I grew up in Charlotte. I don't think parking your car at Walmart is too viable the cops are pretty nosey. It is worth a try you just might get told to move on. The rent in Charlotte is pretty high considering its relatively low wages but it's not the worst. Why do you want to live there where are you moving from? You might be able to park your car on a back road too like in Matthews or mint hill
Help me /r9k/
I'm addicted to groping my female room-mate while she sleeps, since she's a heavy sleeper. I only tried it once and I feel disgusted every time I'm done fapping. Not only do I feel disgusted but I know I'm risking a lot if she ever wakes up during the act.
But everytime the night falls I can't resist my instinct and if she's off covers sleeping in tight shorts I can't help but want to cop a feel.
What can I do? should I cut my balls off? I don't want to get v&
>>26661527
You're not addicted to performing a complex manual task you fruit show some self control.
>I only tried it once
>everytime the night falls
which is it op
>>26661559
I meant I tried it once and got hooked on it.
Why don't people on here say "my sides" anymore?
everyone lost their sides
because memes are stupid trends, ironic that people here hate normalfags yet aren't much better
>>26661260
my sides are in orbit already
The Normans are invading! Invading our home! This will be our Hastings! But this time... THE NORMANS WON'T SUCCEED!!! Rise up my fellow khv Robots!! And defend our home!!! Hurrah!!!
>>26661209
"Invading" we've been here for months now sped. This is our board now.
>>26661209
I stand ready to drive the fucking Normans and their Bastard out.
I heard there was a party?
So what does /r9k/ think about /r/theredpill? I'm not even from there, but, based on what I've seen, their rhetoric is extremely common here.
>>26661208
It's rebbit, what do you think?
But honestly, I looked at it. Cringe fest. More meme-tier than being a fascist
>>26661257
it's really no better than /r9k/, with the daily "WOMAN HATE THREADS"
bunch of misogynists who try and justify by being smug pseudo-intellectuals
I mean, I hate women too, but i am not a twat about it
IM GOING TO DO IT UNLESS I TALK TO AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING
402 9904327
>>26661167
Don't do it senpai. I can't call you right now, but plz get help. This is now a gay thread, btw.
Glocks Rock OP style.
I'm posting here so that you, and I, and all the world will know that I saw this and chose not to call.
Maybe this one will be real.
Maybe I'll look back on this with a strange morbid feeling. I could have altered the course of OPs life that day if I had called that number, but I chose not to.
Maybe the world will see this and look on in judgement and disgust.
Or maybe nothing will happen.
>>26661167
posting in happening thread hi mom look im on the news
