Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 371. page
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>tfw no blind gf
How do I get one?
>>29860533
Break into a qt3.14's house and pour acid in her eyes while she sleeps then comfort her and get some puss
I'll help you find Lily only if you promise I can try with Hanako.
>find a girl who can see
>court her for a year
>when you're finally a happy couple comfortable in eachothers company - BAM
HIT HER WITH SOME ACID
>make sure she doesn't know it's you, otherwise you'd betray her trust
>get her treated in the hospital for a few weeks for the many many inevitable burns and facial disfigurements
>her sight still wont return though
Et voila, a blind gf
I should write a book
>Pokemon go is getting everyone laid
>You still fuck it up
>>Pokemon Go is getting everyone laid
How?
>>29861213
/GO OUTSIDE/ was a sticky on /b and now everybody's getting laid by playing Pokemon
>>29861374
that sticky was like 2 months ago though
Can we get some rare Molyneuxs here?
Totally original thread, give us your rare Molyneuxs.
Maybe you should fucking create OC for the board specifically designed for making original content and preventing reposts
Seriously, fuck off Reddit. Can't you at least use our boards properly?
this is a good moly meem
perhaps the best moly meme
>>29860526
I don't see any argument here.
Does anybody else see any argument in this anon's post?
OHAYOU /R9K/!!!
IT'S 5 O'CLOCK AND I'VE BEEN HARD AT WORK! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING TODAY?
>>29860464
been browsing r9k all day and playing runescape. I dont want to go back to work tomorrow
At work now selling and pouring wine for people, pretty good time. How was your work day OP?
Ohayou, do-your-best-san.
I've been trying to work, done more today than I have in the past two weeks.
F-first step is always the hardest, r-right?
Where do I go to find a girl? I wanna meet new people but don't know where to go to find people who will talk to strangers. What clubs are good?
General help thread.
Usually helps if you have someone to go with you when you go to bars or clubs. You'll also have to dress relatively presentable and be confident.
>>29860463
This is the easiest way but the confidence may be an issue if you're an autist. Go to a festival with popular music for many dumb chicks.
>>29860463
do i need a wingman?
>dating my dream partner
>abusive
kill me
k
i
l
l
m
e
>>29860388
Why don't you ask him to kill you instead baka
>>29860408
he takes offense to that. if i suggest he treats me poorly he gets furious
>>29860388
Why don't you just stop abusing him?
>when she says she doesnt give rimjobs
except i dont give her money. bitches better lick ass or gtfo, right fellas?
Word bro.
I would eat ass, but I wouldn't want my ass eaten.
Kek. My nigger.
I matched this qt on Tinder, what should I message her?
(srs) responses only pls
looks like a male
If you were a vegetable you'd be a cute-cumber.
>>29860302
You: Knock knock
Her: whos there?
you: Fuck
Her: fuck who
you: Fuck me!
Hey Robots! Let's start a vocaroo voice rate thread.
Starting off with mine: http://vocaroo.com/i/s0kKy8q9ImZl
Also taking requests if anyone want's me to say anything.
I like it! Sounds like a voice I could fall asleep to. Could you say "Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this?" like the guy from the video
I have autism, probably. I also didn't put any effort into it, I could have made it sound better.
I'm 24 years old as well for anyone curious, I'm a guy and no I'm not gay. I just have a high voice.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1VkJR1ZEDIe
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1THw9z6U8AZ
>be me in high school
>standard autist with few friends and zero experience with grills
>some how this one girl finds me cute and goes out of her way to talk to me
>invite her to come over
>realize i should probably shave because who knows what could happen
>have never shaved there before
>cut dick in multiple places, wipe off blood and just forget about it
>later shes at my house and we are on the couch
>things are going well we start making out
>she grabs my dick and starts stroking
>pulls her hand away suddenly and its covered in blood
>anon what is this!!?
>only thing i can think of
"haha i guess guys can have periods too"
last time i saw her
>Tell crush I knew how to fight
>Tell crush I made a kid go to the hospital
>Get into fight with someone at school
>Get my ass handed
>She was there and saw everything
>in middle school
>had shit internet but first time experiencing internet/porn
(i'm 29 btw so I had 90's dial up)
>started getting into hentai tentacle rape shit by chance
>printed pages and pages of the stuff at school
>giggling with my only friend and trading the photos in the middle of class
>teacher comes over and sees my folder I tried to hide from her
>I was her favorite student and now she totally thinks I'm a piece of shit
I remember her saying "I'm so disappointed in you" and looked at me like something died in her. i'm sorry ms kopatsis or whatever your name was spelt. now i'm a failure doing nothing with my life and still watch anime
>>29860189
that's rough sorry anon
Salt Lake City
Honolulu
Tianjin
Mexicali
Your two days of freedom are coming to a quick close, wagecuck. Better hurry up and finish those chores and working on your legacy.
>implying I ever get two days
I put in 10 hours yesterday
>>29860139
Same neets later bitch about getting kicked out by parents for being worthless faggots. What goes around comes around you worthless degenerate.
>>29860295
Why so angry all the time, wagie? You got to learn to be chill sometimes and not take your anger out on people like you always do.
>old friend gets in touch and wants to catch up
>tell him about your shitty life
>"oh, good to hear your doing alright... well inane blah blah"
>write back
>he doesn't
Situations like these make it clear that everyone just wants something from you. He wrote expecting to gratify his ego with me being some amazing guy, and I wasn't, so he quit. I'm not even mad, I am just jaded.
>old friend
>talking to people
normies OUT
Dude I just don't reply. "Catching up" is a useless farce between old friends, it will inevitably result in small talk summaries of each others lives and then the two of you realizing the only reason you fell out of touch anyway is because this cunt wasn't interesting enough for you to bother staying in touch in the first place and so the conversation just stops. It's pointless and the same goes for when you bump into them somewhere.
It only works if it's a man and a woman who once had a fling or a crush and they're both desperate and the promise of easier and what-if sex spurs them on.
>>29861513
Good advice.please accept this original comment.
>>29860021
>That smile at the end
Hold me
kek
is there a source to this OP?
haven't checked out reviewbrah in a while, the food review game got kinda boring
Cmon lads, let's not try and betray John.
Hey guys. I thought I'd share this story.
>Be horny 15-16 year old
>Live next to my 13 year old cousin
>Shes cute at hell, looks like a fucking anime
>Cousin is a shut in, shes innocent and trust people. Because of this shes kind of slow
>When parents arent home i'd go over cousin house on the pretense that we didn't have a cable and they did
>I invent a game me and her would play when her parents werent home
>Game basically involved me shoving my tongue down cousins throat while she tries to push my tongue out of her mouth
>She really believed it was a game, she even hugged me to get a better grip, i'd fee her tits through her cloth while i held her while kissing her, sometimes jerking off in the back room
Skip from summer to fucking thanksgiving
>Be eating turkey with family
>Everyone is at the dinner table, dont wanna be there
>Cus is sitting across from me
>While im watching tv i hear everyone freaking the fuck out
>Cus was trying to play the game with my uncle
>Look at her and shes fucking terrified
>Not knowing what the fuck was going on i stay
>Her Dad asks her wtf shes doing, she tells him about the game
>Dad asks her who taught her the game
>She cries and tells everyone i played the game with her a "ton of times"
>Entire family looks at me with big wide eyes and open mouths as if i was a fucking monster
>A sharp cold chill shoots up my nerves, my entire body is shaking like a mother fucker
>I stutter "Execuse me i have to use the restroom" i nearly trip and im starting to black out
>I hide in the restroom the entire day
>The dad and my mom knock on the door asking for me but i literally would not budge until it was midnight and everyone left
see ya
>>29860010
Who is this rape bait?
>>29860010
fucking copypasta anons, stay away.
>shes innocent and trust people.
