Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2574. page
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Hello robots. I am not like you but I mean you no harm. I feel that in another life I could have been one of you, and I am fascinated by you. Ask me anything and I will answer to the best of my ability.
I have a question for all of you though. How do you feel when you click the "I'm not a robot" button for the captcha?
>>28758876
when will i find her
Pretty desensitised to the robot button by now.
Of course we're fascinating. It's a freak show.
>>28758994
So far as I can tell "she" doesn't exist. The closest thing I had to "the one" was one of my highschool girlfriends but I think that's just me remembering her too fondly.
If you want to find a girl you need to do stuff that will let you interact with them, but in a genuine way. If you like cooking take cooking classes, if you like to read look for a discussion group at a local bookstore or library. If your only interests are antisocial then you're less likely to meet someone, and I would recommend cultivating a more varied personality.
Or stop caring about finding a girl and just live a life that makes you happy. If sex is what you're after fuck prostitutes, if you want love make yourself someone deserving of it.
Tell me about yourself Lou
There's always post about ideal gf's, but most people dont get a perfect girl in their relationship. Everyone has a flaw.
So, what are some things a gf must have, and what are some redflags you can live with (under certain circumstances, if need be.)
For me, Green Flags:
>Has at least 4/10 face
>A tad chubby or skinny is fine, as long as the body is proportionate
>Has an actual hobby or is knowledgeable in something
>Is at least relatively stable
>Is into my fetishes (big plus, but not 100% necessary)
>Anime is a plus
>Hygienic
>Loyal, practices monogamy
Red Flags I can live with:
>Non virgin, but if she wasn't extremely promiscuous I can live with it
>Uses social media, as long as she isnt on it 24/7
>Tattoos arent a deal breaker as long as it isnt random shit or pop culture, or too many
>Colored hair as long as it isnt super vibrant and attention grabbing
Now for you guys.
>will let me be a NEET
That's all I care about. I don't want to be a SAHM or a housewife or whatever, I just want to lay around in a haze for hours and hours. I can be nice sometimes, and I rarely eat so I'm fairly inexpensive. I'll do some girlfriend things with you if it makes you happy. I'll probably end up dying in a year or two so it won't even be a lifetime commitment.
>>28758863
>is biological female (call me transphobic, but one of my best friends is a trans dude and I've got a few other trans friends)
>is relatively decent-sized
>6/10 face minimum
>likes talking about film and knows a fair amount
>is willing to kiss on first date
>is willing to take my virginity
>can deal with me occasionally going hyperautism
>is content some nights just to not fucking do anything
>not insane
>white preferable (Not a racist, it's just a preference I swear)
Red Flags
>loud and obnoxious
>slut (I'm okay so long as you don't fuck other guys during the relationship)
>talks shit about me
>posts incessantly about any politician.
>>28758973
As long as you're not a douchebag then alright
>tfw no doppelganger bf
>>28758823
>tfw these threads
How long are you gonna keep this up op
>>28758891
Until I get my bf duh!
I have come back from the year 2052.
Ask me anything.
>>28758795
Does SERN still rule the world?
>>28758834
There is no single ruler of the World in 2052.
You wouldn't see them on television anyway.
Does Trump win the presidency?
>some roastie just invited me and another guy in our group chat out to go clubbing
What do? I hate clubbing and almost certainly will not get laid. Plus my Chad friend cant come.
>>28758773
Just get a bigger club than chad and remeber to swing for the head when you see the seal
I'd recommend taking advantage of the opportunity and just going for it, but I realize that clubs are expensive as shit.
If you genuinely think you won't have a good time, you probably won't, and it will be a huge waste of time and money. Obviously you need to be in the right state of mind for this sort of thing.
>>28758963
Thanks for the advice. Im still contemplating going in the off chance i feel a boob or something
I JUST WANNA FEEL A FEMBOT'S SWEET INSIDES
PLEASE LET ME FUCK YOU
>>28758761
get choself a niggress escort.
okay, come to me
Kysufagassnigga
How do fembots feel about gving blowjobs?
>>28758759
Not a fembot, but I always wondered why women always whine about people shaming them when so many women are in porn. Millions of women are in some type of porn, it's outrageous.
Look at that woman in the .gif. She looks like a normal person. It is indeed a problem that so many women have partaken in slut culture. Then they go on the Internet and complain that men won't marry them and that they are being shamed.
What I want to know is why do they make such a big deal about not swallowing the cum?
The cum is already inside your mouth, you're already tasting his baby gravy, just swallow it.
>>28758849
that's if it ends in the mouth, which also isn't pleasant. It taste gross try swallowing your own cum first
real sad hours s m a s h dat fuckin dislike button senpai
>holiday weekend
>fireworks going off all night
>go for a walk
>pass clubs and bars with normies talking out front
>come home and shitpost on a Cantonese ufology forum
>delete facebook
>break phone
>don't pay phone bill
>delete all my emails
>no friends or family
>only joy I get is listening to highspire and smoking a 2$ 20pk cigerettes
I haven't left my house since Tuesday
I can't even watch normies have fun because I'm scared of going outside
>been some months since gf dumped me
>pushed me away from her life and I vanished from her sight
>still stalk her on tumblr
>she's still cutting and smoking a pack of cigs a day
>mfw she clearly misses me but still hates me for the shit I put her through
>mfw she's gonna an hero because of me and I'll continue to live just to be miserable
>When he fuck me good I take his ass to Red Lobster
what did she mean by this??
>>28758646
YEAH SHE A GOOD SINGER
SHE DINDU NUFFIN
SHE NEED MO FUCKIN MONEY FO DEM FUCKIN PROGRAMS
It was just generic product placement/advertisement
Obviously red lobster paid her or her record label and they had to figure out how to factor it into a song
See, the thing about advertising is that it happens on a subconscious level. You will be inexplicably drawn to Red Lobster because you know, unconsciously, that Beyonce eats there whenever she gets fucked good. But your conscious mind will be none the wiser.
She means she's a stupid cunt with no redeeming qualities whatsoever
>4chan used to be a free libertarian site where anything was fair game
>it's now become just as bad as tumblr but in the guise of conservatism
the saddest part is people are going to get triggered by my post and start acting just like the freedom stealing faggots we hated. We used to know that society isn't worth being kept intact if it isn't free, and we would just go wild and scare people. It's like comparing the freedom that Americas founders saw for the country to the "freedom" we have today
We were 15 then. We're 21 now.
>4chan used to be a free libertarian site
it did not used to be that
well, bye
>>28758632
You need rules and regulations to run a society, FAGGOT.
You stupid faggot. What a faggot. I want to print out this thread and piss on the paper.
>Get home on Monday arvo
>Eat a bowl of fruit loops
>sit at computer
>Whip dick out
>jerk it
play vidya
Wow what a great life I have. How jealous are all of you loser fags hahahahahaha
Is that a tranny dick or something?
>>28758614
anon ur dick looks a bit sickly
>>28758628
That is my penis, you'd be best to watch the way you type about it nerd.
I'm 18 and dropped out of school. I have no friends except for my gf. No job, no schooling. Have depression and anxiety, even taking Xanax. Who here is at their lowest point? How to get out of this.
>>28758528
>except for my gf
how do i put this
>>28758545
What this fine gentleman said.
>>28758545
How am I NORMIE. I litteraly have no friends
>you're out buying beauty products
>see this
what is the best course of action
>me being out buying beauty products
this joke is the crux of your silly thread, isn't it OP
you're silly.
>>28758558
>not wanting to be the little girl
>>28758526
>you're out buying beauty products
men don't buy beauty products. we are already genetically superior to women.
Where were you when pepe was saved from normies
Reminder that /pol/ is the chemo that keeps the normie cancer at bay.
>>28758428
>racist
where?
>>28758428
>normies think they invented and own pepe
toppest of top keks
/pol/ has officially reclaimed Pepe from the normies where /r9k/ failed miserably, multiple times. At this point, there are only three options:
>apologize to /pol/ ITT
>Press f to pay respect
>Go to the thread and leave a kind word for all the /pol/acks
>>>/pol/74801344
how the fuck can he be a white supremacist if he's fucking green
nobody did anything but make dumb frog memes
the normies gave him back themselves
>>28758407
>normies
>capable of logic
