Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7238. page
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Would you fuck your mom for $10,000?
no but i'd fuck this one for free
>>25167266
I would pay $10,000 to fuck my mom
I'd fuck your mom for the usual 20 an hour
Robots, 7-8/10 actually matched, what do?
I'm sure she finds your lack of self esteem HAWT
Why do normals come here to post their shit?
>normiephone
>internet dating
>le image macro
>emoticons
Please someone purge this faggot
Stop typing like a fucking queer.
>register for tinder
>somehow end up meeting with a chick
>got to her house late and won't be able to take the bus home until the next day
>she's a roast
>absolutely disgusted by the sight of it
>she makes me drink a whole bottle of wine and fucks me
>can only think about how masturbating feels better
>try to lay down and pretend I'm ready to fall asleep
>she keeps grabbing my dick and forcing me inside of her
>this goes on and on
>she falls asleep eventually
>at 5 AM I feel her on top of me again
>pretend to sleep
>again at 8 am
>she probably forced me inside of her no less than 6 times
>realize I'm not attracted to women anymore
>have a slight interest in traps, but afraid of shit like this happening again
>>25166913
post pics normie
post her pic ohpee
you've practically been raped
I'm a mostly normie who actually puts his penis in female vagina from time to time.
AMA
Why did she have to get a boob job?
>>25166861
Do you have a time stamp with your dick in a vagina? No? Then I have no reason to believe you.
I'd bang Sara Jean Underwood so much if I could though... HHHNNNNGGGG
How much money do you make in a year? Follow up, where do you live, and how good is your security system?
Why is life so cruel?
>born ugly
>born with a slight facial deformity that requires years of surgery to correct in case the ugliness wasn't enough.
>Don't let it get to me, just a small happy child who loved playing video games and playing outside and doing good in school.
>Early experiences with girls besides nice and helpful female teachers are a girl who teased and messed with me because she may have liked me and a guy who was friends with every girl telling me his name wasn't Daniel it was Danielle and he secretly a girl.
>Dad dies
>Change schools
>Hate it here
>Know nobody, try to be friendly and make friends, get made fun of, get yelled "I don't need any more friends" at
>Get one dorky guy as a friend
>He comes over and sees my impressive video game collection
>Only wants to play and borrow video games and literally nothing else
>Break it off because he just wanted to use my video games and didn't give a shit about me.
>Leave school for a month every year for facial surgery and recovery
>Have loads of homework to turn in thats a month behind
>No time to socialize because too stressed about turning in 30 days of math homework before I can't turn it in anymore.
>Nobody to socialize with anyways.
>High School
>Still no friends, let alone a girlfriend
>Still try to be outgoing
>Excel at A/V and start running technical equip at assemblies
>Have to deal with ASB people who don't like me or think I'm a loser, especially the girls.
>Try out for plays
>Get minor parts and enjoy it, still not liked.
>Go to college
>Become an RA
>Pursue a degree to work with news livecast equipment
>Surrounded by freshmen at my dorm
>Can't date anyone I live with or I'll lose my job
>Nobody would date me anyways, a fat dork from depressing and staying inside playing vidya too much
>Meet one woman on a random location based social app.
>We learn things about each other
>>25166840
... This looks interesting enough
>>25166840
Continued.
>She's 31, (I'm 21 at this point) her last boyfriend killed himself after she broke up with him. Blames herself. Born in eastern europe but moved to the U.S. as a teenager.
>Her family was crazy religious, she ran away at 19, somehow survived on her own and got through community college while working at a flower shop.
>Now works a good job and lives alone with her cat.
>Talk for months.
>Tell her I'm a virgin
>She doesn't mind, finds it interesting.
>Send her a couple photos of my face and body
>She notices the scar but doesn't point it out until I talk about it, isn't turned away by it.
>Calls me nerdy and personable
>Sends me photos of herself
>10/10 the most beautiful woman I've ever seen
>Sends me photographic proof she's real
>image search all of her photos, no duplicates or results.
>Talk about the city we live in, she starts talking about recent road construction, she's real.
>Grow closer as we talk more
>Imagine a future with her, every time I think about her my heart jumps out of my chest
>She gives me life advice, helps me through tough times and I help her
>Tells me love is the most important thing about life, "Find your love, even if it's fleeting and appreciate every moment."
>Fall in love with her
This isn't going to end like my Filipino flipbooks is it
Havent seen one of these in a while
http://www.worldstaruncut.com/uncut/76997
in the link above it is a roastie telling her roastie tales while sucking some guys dick pic related
when will these women learn no hymen=no diamond
>>25166774
>tfw the dick she's sucking is like 2 inches bigger than mine, and shes talking to him about bigger dicks as a humiliation thing
>>25166774
How can someone so pretty have such a lack of respect for herself????
horsebackriding.jpg
So I have a foot fetish and I have been with my gf for 3 years now. She finally figured out I had a foot fetish a few days ago when I started licking her feet during foreplay. The day after she put her feet in my lap and told me she had just did her toenails, when i tried to kiss them, she took them away and giggled. Does she know? Anyway, today she saw a tab with a picture open and she demanded that I open it and show her. It was foot porn and she got upset that I was looking at other girl's feet. She was yelling at me for awhile. What do I do? Is she being ridiculous or should this be considered cheating?
>>25166727
dont sexualize other peoples feet
obv yes
>It was foot porn and she got upset that I was looking at other girl's feet. She was yelling at me for awhile.
Unless she'll rub her feet on your face 90% of the times you ask, she's being ridiculous
>>25166727
are feet worse to play with than they are to look at
Does anyone play playstation 4? i have star wars battlefront almost installed... i just wanna talk to someone, send me your name i'll send a chat invite
>>25166723
That game is shit, and you're shit for buying it
>>25166723
>star wars battlefront
>talk to someone
>>25166770
... I like it :)
so anyone wanna just chat while i install star wars?
Commander_Yukio
Guys I just accidentally took 130mg of MDMA and I've got work in an hour and 45 minutes.
Will i be ok to go to work without people noticing i'm being weird? I've never done MDMA before. It will be wearing off by then right?
>>25166676
Call off work now. You're fucked if you don't.
>>25166786
Why so? So far I don't feel anything. It's not possible to act normal on MDMA?
>>25166881
Nah, most people do not have that much emotional openness and communion, and get weirded out by people mirroring their every emotion
new blacked
http://videowood.tv/embed/lb11
That dick is pretty small for a black guy and that woman is ugly.
I wish cukposting was banned here
>>25166649
Hi schlomo
How was your day?
>Its my birthday and no one beside my parents remembered
>>25166625
assuming you don't use social media with your birthday available, nobodies gonna remember it
>what is the current year?
happy birthday sweet-cheeks
>>25166660
T-Thank you senpai ;_; desu
Guys this happened over the weekend. I'm just now able to gather how retarded I am
>be me
>be junior in high school, kissless virgin
>be Saturday night
>friends drag me to Christmas dance
>whynot.png
>get there, it's lame as fuck as expected, faggots everywhere
>spot my crush from across the room
>she sees me and smiles and waves
>spaghetti begins churning in my pockets
>wave back awkwardly
>she is with her friends and they're all standing around giggling and looking over at me
>spaghetti is now coming out of my pockets in spurts
>she walks up to me
Hi anon!
"oh hey what's up"
Oh not much, are you having a good time?
"yeah kind of"
>awkwardsilence.gif
>try to be alpha
"hey do you want to go somewhere quiet so we can talk?"
>she gets all excited
Yeah let's go!
>leave dance and go to library
>talk for a little bit while sitting on one of the couches
>another awkward silence ensues
>she breaks it
Hey look mistletoe
>I spray marinara sauce all over her face but she doesn't notice
>I look above us
"there's no mistletoe"
Well we can pretend there is
>she leans in and kisses me on the cheek
>mfw
>I sit there unsure of what to do
"uhhhh thank you"
>get up and leave her on the couch
>go home and wonder what the fuck I just did
That was the last time I saw her guys, what do I do when break is over? Do I get another chance or am I doomed to be this autistic forever?
>>25166619
Underage b& cyka blyat idi nahuy comrade praise stalin stupid fascist robot filter
If it were me, I'd say I had a gf at the time, and the reason I was being so weird was because I had such strong feelings for mistletoe girl, but also felt bad about my gf. Say something like
>I really wanted to kiss you back under the mistletoe, but I've been seeing this girl so I felt bad about it.
Then it's just a matter of pretend breaking up with her. Obviously don't pick a real girl. Say she goes to a different school etc.
>be junior in high school
stopped reading there, fuck outta here
dear white cucks, please stop reinforcing the BBC meme. it's really degrading to us. besides the worlds largest penis belongs to a white man
>>25166608
and asian cucks
except this guys only half black
I really can't imagine a much more degrading sexual existence than being a black man with an average/small cock. Roping in all the fetishizing women only to see the look of disappointment on their face.
Literally stopped browsing this site for a month and i've already seen major improvements. Just leave and you'd be surprised how easy it is to build confidence, get laid and do other "normie" things. Good luck bots, you deserve better than this.
>>25166576
https://youtu.be/kDnCoiYKmtw?t=2m2s
Literally stopped browsing this site for a month and i've already conquered american samoa.
watch the news tomorrow
>>25167075
NWP for life
And congratulations on your conquest of Samoa, anythings possible once you quit the poison of the chans
im looking to acquire the AYYYY lmao virus to give to a person on skype. preferably one that isnt to easy to remove and requires some work but is not impossible to remove. kinda short term am just looking to scare him
what is the aylmao virus
basically a wicked virus that will start screaming "ayyyy lmao" through your computer while picture of aliens being to pop up uncontrollably.
>>25166578
Are you serious? Is there a video of that?
