Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 354. page
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Who else here has resigned from actively trying to get a woman? I deleted my dating site profiles, and I'm going to dedicate my time to playing vidya, watching movies/tv series, reading, and writing. If a woman happens to come into my life, I'll let it happen, but i don't expect it. If that doesn't happen, we have the great waifu age of approaching where VR waifus and sexbots will replace real women.
Stop letting yourself feel like you need a woman and enjoy life while you can. Resign from chasing women, craving women, and enjoy life.
>>29869755
That kid is SO LUCKY. He has a parrot AND a monkey? I have no exotic animals and this kid has two! WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT!
Anyone else know this feel? Anyone?? Hellloooooo...
>>29869755
I mean you don't need to cut off completely. I like the idea but it's extreme. You can have dating profiles without being attached to them and checking them constantly.
>need to take a shit
>feels too good holding it in
>>29869727
>Hold in poo
>Become very motivated and creative
>Fantasize about living in the woods or coming up with intricate machines
>The poo finally comes out and all of those feelings go away
Who here /poophoria/?
>>29870387
thought it was just me
>>29869727
>holding in a shit for so long it just goes away for half the day
How do I get a fuck buddy as a working adult?
I used to be good at getting it in in college, but now it seems like every woman my age just wants a relationship or ltr material.
Alternatively, how are people getting laid in 2016
going to sex parties with degenerates met through fetlife and similar websites for degeneracy.
>>29869619
>How do I get a fuck buddy as a working adult?
try asking on soc
>>>/soc/
where is the best place to learn adobe photoshop for free fast?
>>29869572
where you are right now,
the internet.
>>29869572
probably on youtube, unless you learn better from reading, then the public library
>>29869572
Look at the top. You'd see buttons and menus. Press on them to check what they do. You can also try official Adobe documentation.
>Anon... I won't hide it anymore! I admit it, I have a penis. You'll still love me, right?
>>29869442
as long as I don't see it and you agree to be my sex slave you're a good girl. Now lick my ass and swallow my cum
>>29869442
as if I would've been fooled by that face, and those fake tits.
How did you get in my house?
>tfw no has guns gf
>>29869433
gf with guns superior
>>29869433
>>29869552
being hasguns canuck I suffer from that feel more than most
>mfw I can't buy a gun because mommy doesn't like guns
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE IN THE UPCOMING RACE WAR?
Can't sleep. It's 1am.
I read a lot of creepy pasta on /x/, since I realized I haven't been there in like 4 years. Scared now and nothing feels real.
Who else /awake/ here?
>>29869411
here's what you do
go into your bathroom with a flashlight. Turn off the lights and put the flashlight somewhere in the bathroom so that your face is barely illuminated in the mirror.
Stare at your face in the mirror for 2 minutes, or more if you wish.
Report back with results.I am a demon who has been watching you for a while now, and if you do not do as I command you will not wake up tomorrow.
>>29869472
Okay I'll do that but you've been watching me for a while it sounds like but I want to know whether you think my girlfriend is sexy or not.
I mean you've probably watched us fuck, right?
>>29869504
Good luck anon, hope the spooky ghosts don't get you.
Hey, this is the girl that made the art thread yesterday, just wanted to show the finished picture for anyone interested. :) Thanks for the tips.
Nice, where do you live
>>29869396
OMG A GRILL
ARE Y-YOU LIKE CUTE OR SOMETHING??
>>29869541
No, officerwho wants to know
What are the best chips and why is it pic related?
Amerifags have no idea.
onion rings aren't chips you fucking subhuman
>>29869379
Funyuns are alright, but they don't have as much flavor as potato chips.
Pic related are the best chips in existence.
I DON'T WANT TO BE UGLY ANY MORE
I WANT TO EXPERIENCE WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE DESIRED
I DONT WANT TO BE THE SHORTEST, UGLIEST GUY EVERYWHERE I GO
IM SICK OF THIS
fuck you gonna do about it
I dont care about it anymore
There's literally only one thing you can do:
Get a good job so you get the money for plastic surgery
>>29869406
HOW DOES PLASTIC SURGERY MAKE ME TALLER?
I thought this was genuinely nothing more than a forced meme.
>be me, total chad
>6'3, handsome as fuck, 8 inch dick, successful engineer
>meet hot cunt, date for a while
>she lives with a roomie
>morbidly obese, smells like rancid cheese, has a visible zelda tattoo
>find out late he pays for all her shit, including her clothes
>she doesn't even let him cop a feel, she just lives there
>apparently she pretends to be his gf to his parents
>she says that if I knock her up he'd willingly take care of the kid
What the fuck is wrong with you lowlives? how can a man degrade himself like that?
>>29869188
Even though > tfw no gf, it makes me feels a little better I will never sink that low.
>she doesn't even let him cop a feel, she just lives there
Riiight.
>>29869236
that isn't hard to believe at all
not nowadays at least
Sup. For today I am literally your robot and slave. What should I do? I'm NEET But I'm also bored and have a little money.
It' 6:53am
My bank opens at 8:30
Stores open at 9:00
I will definitely get strange looks if I buy booze at 9:00 but I'm used to that.
I can bore you to tell with stories from my miserable life btw.
>>29869142
to death* fixed
Any idea which food I should get?
>>29869166
How about a pizza? Can never go wrong with pizza.
>>29869166
>which food I should get?
Get yourself a pasty.
Hey brobots lets share our embarrassing moments ill go first
>5 min's ago
>I only leave my room about three times a day at most and i only leave to fill up my water jug and to get food at breakfast, lunch and dinner when i get the food i head straight back up to my room
>Feel late night munchies so I walk downstairs to get food i walk into the pantry and grab a granola bar start to eat it
>After i had put the jug under the sink to fill it up
>Stepdad walks up to me as i eat the granola and says Haha look who left there den, I just smile and laugh that is what I do when i'm super nervous and uncomfortable
>Walk back into the pantry to act like i'm occupied until my stepdad leaves
>I leave the pantry and my stepdad starts laughing again and i continue to smile and laugh to the point of the side of my face hurting
>He then says Haha your like weasel or something that comes out of its den to get food he continues to laugh
>My face is hurting from smiling do hard
>He laughs again and says until next feeding time see yah Haha
>I laugh awkwardly and wait for him to walk up the stairs so can go up the stairs when hes not there.
>Enter my room and type this.
This photo is the best photo that I can find of how my face looked during the conversation.
>>29869120
That seems pretty normal.
I got a couple from going to a church youth group when I was around 13-15.
>we're in a circle
>asked to say our name and or favorite actor
>gets to me
>"Hi, I'm anon, and don't get me started about movies because I watch way too many of them"
>room is completely silent for a solid 3 seconds
>"That being said, uh...Joseph Gordon Levitt I guess"
>no one ever brings it up again
There was also the time I couldn't find a spoon so I ate ice cream out of the carton with my hand, and the time I accidentally elevated a simple "alcoholics anonymous" joke to a heroin addict joke.
Come to think of it I really wasn't at all popular with them. Even the Downs Syndrome kid was better liked than me. On the bright side I haven't seen any of them since.
>>29869299
A heroin addict joke sounds funny can I hear it?
>>29869343
I phrased that weird, but here's how it went.
>Some dude introduces himself, and we all go "Hi (insert name here)" like in an alcoholics anonymous meeting
>next guy goes "Hi, I'm (name) and I'm an alcoholic
>room goes into hysterics
>next guy does something similar
>everyone laughs
>gets to me
>"Hi, my name is Anon, and I'm a heroin addict"
>room goes fucking silent again
What do robots think of this album? To me, it's the musical embodiment of depression. It feels like shit. Rating: 8/10
>>29869109
Its ok, I remember listening to it and thinking most of the songs had a good beat or musical idea but it was so repeated throughout each song that it kind of wore thin.
>>29869181
Yeah, I agree. the beavis and butt head skits are what made it go from a. 9.5 to an 8/10 for me, in addition to the fact that he didn't mix it up enough. Apparently the normie media hates it
>>29869109
nothing, music is for normies
ok robits i got a tinder, and i managed to get my first ever date as a 24 yo khhv shes 19 btw, how do i not fuck it up?
Whatever you do, do NOT be yourself
>>29869182
noted. so, like when we meet do i hug or what do i do whats the custom? same for leaving do i kiss or?
In the dress code department the old chub 'n' tuck is always a good solid.
