Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3302. page
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Imagine you met the perfect girl, and for some magical reason she's actually into you, but she had *one* previous boyfriend. They were together for two years and broke up because her boyfriend's dad runs over a drunken 16 year old with his car and the family moves state.
Option 1: her 1st boyfriend was a really nerdy black guy. He's bad at sports, he's kinda weak and has asthma, he codes, he hangs on /v/, he reads scifi, he can quote Episodes 4-6 from memory and is basically how the media sees Neil deGrasse Tyson. Also, he has a 9 inch penis.
Option 2: her 1st boyfriend is a typical white jock. He is popular, tall, hates nerdy shit, wants to join the army, beat up nerds in middle school, he's secretly or, when he's drunk, not so secretly, racist. Never reads books. Would vote for Donald Trump. Has an average penis.
What option is better, what is worse?
There is no Option 3 Neither, and there is not Option 4 Actual Virgin Who's Never Had A Boyfriend. Welcome to reality.
There are actual virgins who have never had boyfriends. I know girls who hadn't had their first kiss till they were 18 or 19, much less lost their virginity.
Option 2. In a fucking heartbeat.
>>28350029
Option 1 sounds like a nice dude. Would prefer him to be the ex.
![cfedea94-e0e7-4817-8691-c544340ac49f[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/SBPqDIU.jpg "cfedea94-e0e7-4817-8691-c544340ac49f[1]")
>its 2016
>people still fall for "pua" "just lift broxD" and "just le groom and dress well" memes
good god
>implying i give a fuck
I lift because i love it, a man is supposed to be strong. I'd out lift the child in that picture in every lift imaginable with ease.
he is some beautiful angel
>>28350050
this, feels good when you have dynamite in your fists
What does r9k think about this video on cheating culture in japan?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENscSDOsodE
lol western and japanese are so shity
Pathetic and sad.
>>28350240
>>28350408
I was shocked, I always thought japs were the most reserved and traditional
>mental issues
>used to actually REEEE in school when I was younger and less functional
>it was this horrific raptor-tard screech that was earrape loud
>whenever kids bullied me or I felt frustrated a rancid earbleeding tard screech would tear the fabric of the universe
>stuck finger in mouth and puked on a kid who bullied me and he cried and got sent home
I think God left me unfinished. Stories from fellow autists and/or tards?
I was always in normal school, btw.
I was always seeking attention. In 5th grade I stormed into a classroom singing "you are 16 goin on 17" while doing some kind of river dance thing. Got yelled at for a minute.
I also brought a knife to school and got suspended
Every day. Every fucking day I would pull the same joke. Literally for a month. At least.
In elementary school they would roll out this electric piano during lunch for kids to show off their skills. Every fucking day I would cut in front of all the Asians, the straight A's, the musical prodigies and all of the people with actual songs to play, and I would play the first 7 notes of the Super Mario theme song.
People didn't even think it was funny the first time.
HOLY SHIT I JUST REALIZED I ADMITTED I'M A VIRGIN TO MY DAD
FUCK YOU ALCOHOL
>>28349786
More background info please. How old are you? What was the context of the convo? What was his immediate reaction?
>>28349800
>get drunk
>go out to get junk food
>come home and pretend to be sober
>dad wants to talk with me about my recent mental health issues (been in the psych ward)
>talks about how he did stupid things when he was young
>tell him I tried weed once
>"anon, have you ever... been with a girl?"
>"No, I've never had any kind of close relationship"
"Oh... okay..."
I'm 21
So what? It's not a big deal: my dad knows I'm virgin too and he doesn't give a fuck
If you could choose to never have to sleep or get tired again, would you do it?
>>28349727
No. Sleeping is comfy
>giving up the only times in my life that I experience something fascinating and creative
>>28349727
Sleep is very often an escape. Still, it'd be nice to live a nocturnal life while all the normies are asleep without having to resort to day sleeping.
Someone explain this pepe to me, what does it convey?
>>28349716
inexplicable excitement
>>28349724
what does the pic even mean, popcorn jumping out of the bag
>>28349734
Pepe is vibrating at such an alarming rate that the popcorn is flying out of the bag
>someone you know makes a mistake
>feel overwhelming anxiety and feel like you're the one that fucked up
Why am I like this?
>>28349613
>and feel like you're the one that fucked up
This used to make me want to die in elementary school and when one of my siblings got in trouble, the worse it was the worse I felt. It doesn't make sense. Why does it happen?
>>28349648
Same, friend. Are we the opposites of psychopaths with empathy on overdrive?
>>28349710
Maybe it's the latter but until recently I didn't experience empathy outside of that too much.
how does girls hairs feel like?
salty milk, coins, and bags of sand
>>28349556
how does hairs feel like this
>>28349593
Because Girls.
Why was Elliot so fucking pissy about minor things in his life?
please, he was a genius who saw the world for what it was.
>>28349443
Not OP, but a supreme genius could've gotten a higher kill count
>>28349443
>And but so, this is the reality of My Twisted World
What a hack.
>you will never be a critically acclaimed artist
>>28349372
That's not very obscure, anon. Most people have that feel at some point in their life in one way or another.
>I'll never be a celebrity
>I'll never be a pro ball player
>I'll never be a famous artist
ITT: Normie feels
>I will never have absolute control over time
>>28349393
Normies don't care about critical acclaim though. They just want to be popular and rich
>be fat NEET
>start doing 1-2 hours of cardio everyday
>lifting weights
>do this for the last year and a half everyday
>have literally got fatter
Literally what the fuck
>>28349366
>cardio
>losiing weight
so you fell for the meme too.
go and read the /fit/ sticky, you need to have a diet to actually lose weight.
I suggest Keto.
You were either eating like shit the entire time, or you weren't pushing your body hard enough. Either way, it's your fault anon. Calorie counters are free
Going back and forth from your couch to the fridge doesn't count for cardio.
https://www.osha.gov/dep/fatcat/FatalitiesFY10.csv
They all have a one description of how it happened too
So many typos, it's really interesting though.
>FY 2010,10/16/09,09/14/09,"Rio Hotel and Casino, Las Vegas, NV 89103","The worker complained of a headache and was transported to the hospital. The worker passed away from natural causes on September 24, 2009."
>FY 2010,10/02/09,09/26/09,"UPS, Louisville, KY 40202",The decedent returned from his break to his work area and was sitting when he fell over. He was transported to a local hospital where he was pronounced dead. It was determined the decedent died from natural causes.
>FY 2010,10/02/09,09/27/09,"Colorado Bell Hotel & Casino, Laughlin, NV 89028",The decedent was not feeling well and left work early. While he was sitting waiting for the bus he collapsed and was non-responsive from an apparent heart attack. He was transported to the hospital where he was pronounced dead.
Could die at any moment. Just suddenly fall over and BAM.
What is this shit as well?
>FY 2010,11/20/09,11/16/09,"Bon Harbor Shell Station, Owensboro, KY",Worker was fatally shot during the commission of a robbery.
>CA, Transportation, Richmond, CA* 94801","While taking tolls, a person drove up and shot the worker in the face."
>start to face my social anxiety and leave the house more often
>realize how ugly the average person is
>realize I'm actually pretty good looking and that girls look and smile at me
noice
>>28349222
I'm glad for you, anon. Keep going.
See, OP?
The more seriously you take the shitty advice that shut-ins spread about normies, the more you become like them and more anxious you will grow.
I am happy for you, OP. You got your anxiety by the balls if you keep making progress.
I would like to hear more greentext about your little milestone successes, OP. Let it out, don't be a cuck.
>>28349222
You're mistaking their fear grimace for a smile.
Okay robots I need help dealing with a whore but first some backstory
>meet gril
>she's a qt 3.14 just out of my league
>we get close
>go on date
>ask her to be gf
>she says yes
>finally TFW gf
>next day she goes to a horse thing
>later that night
>"sorry anon I realised I never liked you in that way"
>"uh okay"
>two months later
>one of her friends tells me she cucked me for another guy
>one month later (now)
>she apparently misses me
What should I do to this whore? I'm a kissless virgin and she was my only way out and I got fucking cucked by a horse-riding Chad. I'm thinking something along the lines of fucking with her emotions like she did to me?
>>28348945
Don't stoop to her level, just leave it be and move on.
Ignore her. Women literally can't handle being ignored. It'll provide at least 40 keks or your money back
Ignore and forget.
