Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3294. page
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Cinco de Mayo is literally Cultural Appropriation: The Day.
Get your own traditions instead of stealing ours, fucking Ameritrumps.
it's your dirty beaner asses forcing it on us. fuck off back to Mexico and take your shitty ass holiday with you, juan.
i agree, but take this shit back to tumblr.
Is this the anti-Americanism thread?
>tfw literally get matched with CHAD THUNDERCOCK
>>28356162
OH SHIT.
OH SHIT.
FUCCCCCC
>>28356162
Probably just some faggot normie who found the Tinder catfishing threads on Reddit
He really lived up to his name ingame as well. Fed and flamed all game.
>4% of the world's population have 4 inch penises
>I'm one of them
99% of that 4% are in east asia
>>28356160
I'm a white male.
CAN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
I have a 7 inch dick and I've never even held a girl's hand. I'm going to die alone.
Doesn't even matter for robots.
So what's up fags
19 y.o virgin bro here. Some weird qt girl has been messaging me on facebook recently. Don't get me wrong she is pretty cute definitely fuckable. But she is definitely off and she has even said so. Could probably get with her, seems pretty easy...s-should I do it?
Bumpping
Bumping again. Need answers
Fucking here is fine, Going into a relationship is not recommended.
What is it about watching cute white girls pleasuring black men that gives a sinking feeling in my stomach?
oh shit they got REMY?
THE REMY?
I dont know man I get good feels in my boiclitty. Maybe you have the autism.
You know Remy is Jewish right?
The existential despair is really setting in today, guys. I'm really feeling it. No Kierkegaardian wisdom is helping me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcK-dg3FPRM
Your programming is telling you to be social, have gf, propagate the species. Tell your programming to fuck off and enjoy anime or whatever it is you like.
>>28356249
>le tru detective edgelord maymay
my generation is shiiit
what the fuck is existential despair you fucking sperglord animeposter
How can Pepe even compete?
>>28355948
Who is this meme frog?
>complain that reddit/tumblr steal memes
>literally post shitty tumblr memes
You're on the same level.
>>28355980
The next big thing.
Pepe's days of glory are over.
>Be hanging out with my daki (Mikiru is best waifu)
>Mommy comes in and asks me if I want to go to Friendlies for a platter of tendies and some icy creamy
>Clap excitedly and rush to the car with Mikiru
>Sit in backseat with her, mommy gets to car and starts driving us to Friendlies
>Mikiru gets frisky and starts eyeing up my crotch
>Decide to give her a show
>Pull out my cock and start tugging it around
>Mikiru looks at it hungrily, cum on her face in a matter of seconds and scream
>Hear mommy sigh from front seat and mutter that she made a mistake
>Tell her it's okay,I love mommy and I can get her her OWN Daki
>She sighs, obviously with relief
>We get to friendlies, get out with mikiru and we order three plates of tendies and frenchies, thinking about what kind of Icy Creamy I'll get
>Mommy orders a glass water and some toast
>Asks for three slices instead of two
>Warn her not to go over board or new Chad Daddy might not like her flab
>Shes so grateful for my advice that her eyes start to water
>Me and Mikiru finish our tendies and mommy makes a comment about me not throwing stones
>She KNOWS I'm sensitive about my beautiful curves
>I control myself, but Mikiru is in love with me
>She lunges forward and attacks mommy for disrespecting her hubby
>Waitress comes over and grabs me
>Why grab me? Mikiru is the one hurting mommy!
>Realize... the waitress is in love with me too
>Lunge forward and start making out with her, Mikiru stops attacking mommy for some reason
>Waitress pushes me away, I knew I should have stuck with Mikiru
>Shit pants and start crying
>Go home with mommy, she's apologizing for ruining my night out
>Tell her that after TONIGHT, only a threeway with mikiru will make up for what she did
>Mommy starts sobbing tears of joy that she can do something to make me forgive her
You spelled your own waifu's name wrong
>>28355653
Pefect. I need more works of autistic fiction.
>>28355653
So thus the life of a deranged mother an a autismal
>have same birthday as coworker
>everyone says happy birthday to them but none to you
>>28355637
Happy Birthday, Anon. I'm sorry to hear that.
If it makes you feel any better, no one even said hello to me on my last birthday.
>have same birthday as female classmate
>everyone says happy birthday to her, get her a cake to the class and sing happy birthday in class
>mfw I'm secretely singing it to me
I would be more friendly to people at work. talk to everyone and have a smile on your face.
Does anyone else repeat phrases either in their head or out loud?
Every since I was in middle school I've had the tenancy to repeat "I'm going to fucking hang myself" in my head but lately I've been whispering it under my breath
I tell sentences from political debates happening in my head and random words.
>>28355620
All the time at work.
"Don't fucking kill them, they're autistic and it's not their fault. Don't fucking kill them, they're autistic and it's not their fault."
>>28355620
When alone, I will often yell phrases that occur in my head frequently, often from foreign languages (e.g. Bozhe Tsarya Khrani! -- God Save the Tsar!), as well as quotes from scripture and old Church hymns (e.g. Incline not my heart...).
>tfw mum threatens to kick me out everyday since i've moved back
>am 19
>got kicked out when 16
>lived at three hostiles in 3 years
>moved back in with mum acouple of weeks ago
>she says shes going to kick me out due to i don't have a job
>0 friends to turn to
>0 family left
i really have no idea what i'm going to do if she does
>>28355610
Make a YouTube channel, monetize it, then viewbot it and show her the check
>>28355647
i've worked online before and made just over min wage via it, but she just want's me to have a "real job" idk man
>>28355610
You had three years to find a job. What is wrong with you?
Well I just got done paying my public intoxication fine. How was your day so far?
Good. Working up to some public intoxication.
>>28355601
Don't let the pigs smell it off ya.
>>28355638
Is there a way to mask the smell of alcohol?
What do you think of my new haircut, guys?
Delete this thread. Fucking garbage go back to /soc/
All non-whites must leave Arcanine.
>>28355571
Looks good, ditch the flavor saver
>when you realize that everyone around you simply 'tolerates' you
its been that way sence i was born.
>>28355501
it's more than i deserve
Eventually you'll reach a point where you simply tolerate them.
Daily reminder this is what you are compared to in every woman's mind.
>>28355445
Robots spend all day looking at pics of 9/10s, watching porn with 9/10s and jerking off to them. You are no better, everyone likes attractive people. We all have our ideal partner so don't pretend you're not comparing women to those 9/10s.
>>28355445
>being compared to an average guy
I'm ok with this
>having shit beard genetics
