Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4207. page
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I made a puzzle for you guys, maybe you can solve it, but I doubt it, you fucking autists
>>27657615
I know this is clearly designed to promote trolling and everything. And that's all fair and well, but the answer is 50%. You don't need autism for figure that out. You don't even need to be good at maths.
either 0% or 100%, on average 50%
>>27657615
50%, I'm pretty sure most anyone on this board would be able to figure that out. I guess I fell for the bait though.
You have 100lbsof potatoes, which are 99 percent water by weight. You let them dehydrate until they're 98 percent water. How much do they weigh now?
Let's see if you robots can solve this.
As much as an Irish person.
source: Laois
Like 99 lbs.
>>27657601
idk who gives a shit
Sup /r9k/ I don't usually come here but since this is the autist board I figure you guys could help. Why are legitimate autistic people so violent?
Any professional autists here who can chime in? Why is your kind so quick to fly off the handle and go into a fit of rage over the slightest mishap?
my brother has autism and he just stormed out of the house in a fit of screaming rage because I told him to pick up the damn phone. he's always flying off the handle and sometimes he threatens to kill himself or cuts himself, you can't say anything to this kid
That is not autism.
>>27657597
they're too dumb to find words to express their feelings
>>27657620
Nah he's definitely autistic, diagnosed since he was like 2.
ITT more like this
>>27657580
birds don't have to pay to fly this pic sucks and it's not deep
Lmao his(Harun Yahya) real name is Adnan Oktar, he's a schizophrenic Turkish televangelist.
This one is breddy good.
who /desperate for intimacy and companionship but too retarded to obtain it/ here?
Yeah. Who /wants to be loved but is unlovable and if a chance ever arises of being loved (which it doesn't) they shut it down/ here?
I've stopped craving companionship so much but I've become very obsessed with some sort of meaning of life
can you just stop posting hal?
What is the difference between a adult film actor and a pornstar?
the grade of cuckness of the author of the article
that will teach that money digging roastie aids sponge
>>27657548
not a star? kek
Why lust after 8/10+ Staceys when you can just have a qt homely gf?
>>27657459
that's a stacey without makeup
>>27657459
that gril looks too much like my sister
sp00ki
Because the "qt homely girl" still wants Chad, even though she'll never get him.
This is a story that started happening to me about 6 months ago. It's something that has definitely changed my life permanently and I'm trying to deal with
> Girlfriend of two years
> She and I are both pretty short (I'm 5'5" and she's 5'2")
> Absolutely beautiful pale brunette with 34C knockers
> No ass tho
> I'm a skinny dude but due to bad genes have protruding and large ass
> Inside joke between us that I have a better ass then her
> She'll occasionally scoop my ass while saying "Two Scoops! Raisin Bran!"
> I've actually always been pretty self conscious about how fat kind of builds around my ass but I play it cool with her
> Bout a month ago we're getting pretty frisky one night
> She's groping on my butt and biting my ear
> She asks if we can try something
> Ready to nut but say okay
> She pulls out a tight black dress, one that I personally love in terms of showing her boobs
> She wants me to wear it
> Ohhellno.jpg
> I'm sweating trying to laugh it off
> She says it's just a game
> Okayfinewhatever.jpg
> Put on dress, it's actually a little loose up front but hugs my ass
> She makes me do a little cat walk
> Weirdly dress makes me feel kinda sexy
> Pop one of the largest boners ever, feels like it could pop right through the dress
> She pretty much tackles me, undresses me and we fuck so hard my ikea bed frame cracked
> As soon as I cum, realize how weird everything we just did was.
> Immediately put on pants, wear full clothes to bed that night
Continue?
> A few days go by, try and not talk about it
> She keeps trying to bring it up when we have sex
> I just try to keep kissing her trying not to acknowledge it
> Don't tell friends or anyone what happened
> It's a Saturday night two weeks later
> We're having a movie night
> She's dressed particularly seductive for a Saturday night
> Short shorts and tank top
> She's rubbing against me, can't help but pop a boner
> She begins to fully straddle me
> NoMoreGuardiansofTheGalaxyForUsIGuess
> Start to really get into it
> She undresses me fully right on our couch
> Goes down on me
> It feels fucking amazing
> On the verge of cumming when she gets off
> Says she'll be right back
> Comes back with a thong and a bra
> I begin to retreat but she begs me
> Reminds me how good it was last time
> Tells me she'll fuck me like never before if I let her do whatever she wants
> Fine.
> She takes me into the bathroom and draws a bath
> We get in together, she sits behind me
> She washes me with her shampoo and her bodywash
> Smells Fruity
> When we get out she gets on her knees again
> Blowjob time? No she's putting something on me
> It's shaving cream
> try to protest, she argues I barely have any hair on my legs anyways
> Can't deny, the spots she shaved so far look so smooth
> Get boner from my own smooth legs
> She shaves both of my legs
> Rubs this coconut cream on my body
> It becomes somewhat of a sensual massage
> Eventually I get dressed, another tight black dress
> She sits me down and applies some makeup on my face
> It feels like it's taking forever but she finally shows me it's kind of shocking
> Look like a girl, completely hairless
> Tells me my name is Lindsay
> Next thing I know we're making out
> I wanna nut so bad
> No, she wants us to go out
> hellno.jpg
> She says I can do whatever I want if she takes me out to a club
> Say fine
Continued...
>girlfriend
Stopped reading there
Delete this thread on your way out normie
>>27657302
>We take a cab to a club in downtown
> There's a big line I try so hard not to talk but she's chatting away with people in line
> "This is my friend from out of town, she loves to party"
> Finally we're in, I can blend in
> To my dismay people are checking out me and my girlfriend
> Super embarrassed, tell GF I'm getting a drink and run to the bar
> Stupid dress has no pockets and scared to go into either bathroom so just kind of wander around
> Eventually get lost and start looking for my girlfriend
> Fuck, see her dancing in between two guys, making out with one of them
> I want to cry so hard, I'm so embarassed and I'm dressed like a fucking tranny
> Try and get her attention, pull her arm
> She notices, stops making out and pulls me into the dance
> dude she was making out with grabs my waste and starts grinding hard on me
> Feel the boner he had from my GF on my bare thigh, try to get out of it
> He grabs my face and throws his tongue in my mouth
> I pull away but girlfriend whispers in my ear
> "Go on, have a little fun"
> Guy returns tongue in my throat
> He tastes like alcohol and I don't want to but Girlfriend is pushing me into him
> He begins to cup my ass with his hands
> Next thing I know he's lifting me up, his hands under my thighs as we make out on the dance floor
> Girlfriend is screaming and cheering
> Eventually he puts me down
> Asks if me and my girlfriend want to go to him and his buddy's place
> She politely declines thank god
> She gives me her purse and tells me to cover myself
> Idk what she's talking about until I look down and see that I had a raging boner
> Get the fuck out of there
Continued
What is your dream /biggest goal anon
Are you still working on it, have you given up, but do you still think about it and consider it?
I always wanted to be a movie actor, and it eats me inside that I dont know where to start, I just made a list of actors with some of their roles which I want to imitate, but I just don't know anymore, and it eats me inside that I dont know what to do
I have given up on everything.
I don't even try anymore.
I know that everything I put my mind to, any project, I fail.
Whenever I think of something I want, from buying something for 20 U$D online to getting a decent job, I just remember myself: "you're shit. Don't do it because you will disappoint yourself later."
I don't even day dream anymore.
I never expected to be where I am right now at life. I don't know how I got here, anon.
I don't feel like I have any control over what happens to me, maybe not even my own actions.
I don't know if I have a wish. Maybe I just want the pain to stop.
>>27657219
Always wanted to be an artist, preferably an animator. So while growing up I spent many thousands of hours practicing drawing from life, anatomy, digital painting, and timing myself to draw very quickly, it felt fulfilling and something I was born to do. Lost fate in myself and others eventually; haven't drawn a picture in 8 years, and spent 6 of those years drinking around 30 units of alcohol a week, but I have been recently sober for two years now. My soul feels empty and tired of this planet. I promised myself to never draw again but i forgot why.
I want to be a musician. After years of just making songs on my computer but not knowing any music I got a digital piano. Been learning for a few months and now I'm starting to learn a few pop/indie tunes that I like, which is good I guess. I wish I worked harder though.
>tfw working on resume
>>27656946
>tfw working on resume and looking at a lifetime of retail, food service and desk jobs
>>27657063
Superjail has been canceled for years now ;_;
>actually got a call back
I read on here many times of people being in IT jobs and how comfy they were, so I signed up for my A+ at a local vocational school. Class is not comfy and im having a hard time despite my grade being a 97. I think about suicide every day of the week, what do I do?
Pic very unrelated
>>27656891
To have a comfy life, you must sacrifice.
>>27656955
>to have a comfy life, you must have a not-comfy life
>>27656891
>people talk about the job being comfy
>the class to earn that job isnt comfy guys you lied
???
do you not see the massive flaw in your stupid little "logic" here
Poorfag here. What is the most lasting meal I could get for $30? It needs to at least last me for a day. I'm really hungry.
Do you mean 30$ for a month? A week?
For a day that's quite a lot.
I usually get cereal, milk, rice, tuna, potatoes and eggs.
Spoiled fucking ameriblubbers.
30 USD could feed me for weeks.
First worlders CAN NEVER be robots.
>>27656963
iktf
I'll eat like a fucking fat king with 30 usd a day
Help /r9k/, the girl I like is dating this faggot from school.
He isn't a chad, he isn't smart, he is bad at sports, he's not even good looking. Why can he have her and I can't?
Maybe he asked and you didn't
>>27656771
Maybe he's just a better person than you, you arrogant fuck
>>27656771
Underb8 detected
>tfw have to create and give a 10 minute presentation by the end of the week
I know I know. >tfw 200 word essay due tomorrow, but this shit really sucks.
I had to do a 45 minute pres in two days a few weeks ago.I did only 10, then guiltripped my bitchy professor
Who real /devilish/ here?
>>27656728
What's it on? I'll do it for you right now in 10 minutes.
same.. have to make an essay and then learn it all for tuesday, have to be long enough so i can talk for 10-15 minutes
and now a girl i talked to, kissed and even more went to her ex...
literally 0 motivation to do anything, idk maybe getting shitfaced on friday will help
I have no skills and have only done simple manual labor jobs a few times in my life. I hated them and don't want to do any sort of tiring labor ever again. So, what is a good skill to learn that makes self employment possible from the comfort of your own home? So far I know of only one: programming. What other alternatives exist? If I must wagecuck I want to do it for myself.
>>27656714
mechanic
plumber
HVAC
comp repair
Stealin' that pepe senpai
>>27656792
all I can think of is what a hellish creature that is
