Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1445. page
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![tumblr_mwshqjRn801s7dn54o1_1280[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/LjCjrIa.jpg "tumblr mwshqjRn801s7dn54o1 1280[1]")
Why don't you just date a chubby lonely tumblr qt, /r9k/?
She won't mind if you're not Chad and she'll be into all your silly interests or at least be receptive to them, and she'll never leave you because you'll be the best thing ever to happen to her. :)
>>29392521
>chubby
That bitch is morbidly obese.
>>29392521
She's morbidly obese;
He's better looking than me;
He's probably sane;
There's no proof he's actually dating her;
I'm too old for tumblr uggos.
>implying she won't force you to stay in a relationship with her by threatening to charge you with rape
>implying she won't be a full-on sjw and freak out if you do anything more than breath
I've dated a tumblrite before. It isn't fun. She ended up cheating on me with a friend of mine after having problems with our relationship that she never brought up to me. They are literal children.
>some guy will settle for her
you mean
>some guy will think he's lucky to have her
>she'll settle for him
>>29392468
Can you imagine kissing her knowing her tongue has been in some dude's asshole?
>>29392468
Some office worker will save her and think he hit the fucking lottery, anon. She'll never lick his ass.
She'll think about when Chad railed her on tape
How can you be a girl but have a dick bigger than boy? But then are you a boy if you have a dick? But girls can have dicks too, right?
>>29392430
why is that dick so dark?
>>29392430
I want a cute dickgurl to pound my boipussi
>>29392430
>tfw no dickgirl gf to annihilate my bp.
The absolute worst things that you ever did.
>neglecting my studies after 9th grade causing me to fail one whole year
>not doing 11th and 12th grade in a normal high school, fell for the NEET meme (which actually felt good for that year) when I was 17 and decided to not do anything for one year so I could get into a vocational school later
>falling for the NEET meme again after graduating said vocational school (which is basically a HS equivalent but worse) at age 20, as I didn't bother studying for entrance exams to get into a proper 2 year trade course
>not picking up driving or cars as a hobby early in my life, which means that by the age of 18 I was a completely clueless faggot that failed the driving exam 4 times and easily burned up more than 1000 yurobucks in this
>never bothering with any kind of work in the past
>neglecting skincare and hygiene for most of my life, now my face is honestly disgusting to look at even though I have practically no acne
Now here I am, a 21 y/o NEET that hasn't done literally anything since September. I'll try to enroll into this 2 year course I talked about since NEETdom is starting to hurt, even though that it's higher education it feels like a waste of time but I literally can't get into normal college yet. If I were to graduate this, I could get into college but only for majors that are related to what I'm studying (business administration), and they would only take off about one year off. So if I were to study and finish both things, I would graduate at age 26-27. Pathetic.
I just wish I were smarter in the past. When I was a 15 y/o MMO-obsessed faggot, my only future prospects were to "quit school as soon as possible and become a NEET". Or maybe just "become a NEET forever". Legally I would have been allowed to do this at age 16 but I never actually went through it, probably for the best.
I should just have finished high school at age 18 like a normal person, then go to college right away and graduate at 22. Fuck.
>fell for the college meme
>parents/grandparents paid for it so no debt but since I had no talents or skills I was a history major
>no jobs, no networking, ended up in the same minimum wage job I could have gotten after high school.
>family is utterly dismayed I haven't landed a major job yet because that's what they hear on the news.
>>29392551
So you can literally do nothing with that history degree? How old are you?
DON'T IGNORE MY THREAD NORMIES REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I really want a girlfriend..
Do girls that play video games not exist in real life? Casual shit is great too, if the only games she knows is Skyrim and zelda that's cool too! I just want a girlfriend with shared hobbies..
Where do I find them? I go out the house I make conversation but there's no way to tell if she likes vidya unless she's blatantly wearing something related or talks in memes... But even those girls are rare.
(low standards here too! as long as she not obese that's my only requirement)
Try comic con, anime cons, any kind of video game cons like Blizzcon
>>29392514
I have to travel to go to a con.. I want a girl who lives in my town. Seems harder to get that.
>>29392401
Because of your self-imposed status as a sheltered shut-in, I'm afraid you are lacking the external perspective required to see your dilemma for what it truly is....
It's like a blind man who wants to find a professional movie critic to join him in sitting in the 7th row with his their closed....
Your desire automatically negates any possible fulfillment...
When I was a child, I had some hobbies, too...
Like wearing a diaper... Eating liquefied food out of a glass jar... Watching Sesame Street... Then the strangest thing happened... It's called growth... Personal growth... It turns out that it's actually good for you believe it or not
Change is uncomfortable... The s lack of said change in your personal life is a shining example of this fact...
There are other more suitable video games for you ahead in the future... My favorite one is called 'SHOOTING VIDEO OF A GIRL WITH YOUR DICK IN HER MOUTH'
It's not exactly Zelda, but I think that you will find it more rewarding when the day is done...
In life, friends reserve the right to hurt your feelings if that is what is required 2 help you.... Friends are the only ones who care enough to hurt your feelings if that's what it takes to be completely honest with you...
So you can consider me your new 'best friend', because I'm telling you right to your face the same thing girls have said behind your back all of these years... You need to hear it...
MAN UP
>talk to female coworker
>"I'm on a dryspell..."
>thinking ok...
"...I haven't had sex in two weeks."
she wants the d son
>>29392345
She wants you to fuck her in her ass
>>29392357
>>29392363
Fucked her twice.
Fucked her on a thursday raw and she told me she had over 200 guys (she was 20) and fucked the next guy 2 days later. She got fired and I never saw her again.
I feel like I've lost the love of my life, someone I really felt close to. I've had relationships before, but never anything like what I had with her.
I would do anything for her, I would kill myself if it would make her happy. My life is nothing compared to hers, she makes me so happy, so full of love and life. She makes me feel like I can do anything, that I can accomplish whatever I want.
I used to make her feel that way, too. But I had a moment of weakness and fell into depression and the way she sees me has changed. I know if she would give me a chance she would see the real me again, but she doesn't want to.
Without her, I don't think I can change. I think it's never going to get better without her. I just feel like killing myself if I can't have her. She's what I live for.
what were you depressed about senpai?
you should get therapy (talk therapy, not jew pills therapy) and get her back once she sees it wont happen again
>>29392369
I have chronic depression that will come and go from time to time, there was no reason for me to be depressed.
I don't think she's going to want to see me again, I've tried to convince her and show her that I'm changing but she won't have any of it.
>>29392330
>Without her, I don't think I can change.
Ain't that the truth. I mean what's the point of doing anything if the motivation for it is internal? That's just being autistic. I need something with a vagina to tell me I'm a good person otherwise I feel no motivation whatsoever to be one. In fact, I've become a shit person just because I wanted her back.
It's sad, really, that I have the mind of a Stacy and the dick of a straight guy. Makes things unnecessarily complicated.
>I've had relationships before
I haven't. Not anything I'd consider worth counting.
>Tfw American but Uncircumcised
>>29392307
Stop bullying OP
My parents fell for Jewish tricks
i don't think circumcised means they cut off the skin on your whole dick
like holy fuck that's a shitty analogy
they made the uncircumcised look circumcised and the circumcised just look fucked up
>>29392307
Thinking it's good to be jewed out of your foreskin
>just got my first match on tinder
OH FUCK OH FUCK IM SCARED WAT DO WAT DO
>>29392245
Wait for nothing to happen
>>29392245
Get friendzoned and orbit him
>>29392245
Offer to suck him off and let him know you will get a cage for your shemeat
Do you think Rose misses Ashley?
idk why don't you ask her?
>>29392235
You are still thinking about them? You poor battered soul, this goes back to child abuse you know. Watch Stefan Molyneux bomb in the brain and find out your parent issues and why you use nicotine and all that shit. Watching those videos would be much less of a waste of time than sitting around thinking about women who have moved on and don't care about you.
>>29392611
That's a nice meme ragout you put together there.
Do you ever hear voices that aren't there?
I work in mental health and I'd find it super interesting if you could describe the general phenomenology of your experiences by answering the follow questions:
1.Do they come from outside or inside you're head (or both)?
2. Are the voices familiar? Do you know the people (family, famous people)?
3. How many distinct different voices do you hear and do you hear mumbling\crowds?
4. How frequent are they and are they generally worse\better at different times and places?
5. Can you interact with your voices\ how much control do you have over your voices?
6. Are they negative or positive (or both)?
7. Do they tell you to do things or comment on what you are doing (or both)
8. Do you have ways to cope with them (pls explain)?
9. Do you hear things other than voices such as music or clicking and banging (pls elaborate)?
>>29392123
>1.Do they come from outside or inside you're head (or both)?
Inside. I mean they're definitely not located in space, like coming from somewhere around me.
>2. Are the voices familiar? Do you know the people (family, famous people)?
Fictional characters I write about. Never real people.
>3. How many distinct different voices do you hear and do you hear mumbling\crowds?
Usually one or two.
>4. How frequent are they and are they generally worse\better at different times and places?
I guess like once every two weeks. I have to be under the influence of something to get in that state though. Either that or just critically exhausted. Generally my mind needs to be numbed.
>5. Can you interact with your voices\ how much control do you have over your voices?
I have no control over what they say but I can fully interact with them, they will respond to anything I say to them.
>6. Are they negative or positive (or both)?
They can be strict, but generally seem benevolent. I more often perceive them as trying to be helpful than as trying to make me feel bad. I'm not afraid of them at all.
>7. Do they tell you to do things or comment on what you are doing (or both)
The voice that tells me to do things and comments on things I do is the one I externalize (like an Asperger type situation) but have no control over. The internal voices do comment and give advice on my life sometimes, but they seem more preoccupied with general topics.
>8. Do you have ways to cope with them (pls explain)?
My way of coping with them is I find it fascinating, interesting and inspiring. I'm not hostile towards it.
>9. Do you hear things other than voices such as music or clicking and banging (pls elaborate)?
I sometimes ascribe patterns to noises until they sound almost like music, but that's your general autismo trait.
1. Outside
2. Yes, almost always
3. >do you hear mumbling\crowds?
Yes
4. >How frequent are they
Couple times a week
>are they generally worse\better at different times and places?
Yes, they are worse (stronger) when I'm alone
5. >Can you interact with your voices
Nope.
6. Neutral or negative
7. They cry my name
8. Ignoring?
9. Yes, door knocks, bangs, etc.
>>29392123
> 1.Do they come from ...?
Outside but it seems to come from all directions. Kinda like the bells of a Church seems to be all around you when you're near.
> 2. Are the voices familiar?
No. Genderless.
> 3. How many distinct different voices do you hear and do you hear mumbling\crowds?
One voice, very clear and articulate. No mumbling or indistinct noise.
> 4. How frequent are they ...
Less than once a year, only in time of dire needs.
> 5. Can you interact with your voices\ how much control do you have over your voices?
None.
> 6. Are they negative or positive (or both)?
Positive.
> 7. Do they tell you to do things or comment on what you are doing (or both)
Always telling me to stop doing something that I'm doing. Told me not to an Hero. Told me to live without fear.
> 8. Do you have ways to cope with them.
They had been but positive so far.
> 9. Do you hear things other than voices such as music or clicking and banging (pls elaborate)?
No. I'm hypersensitive to sounds, easily stressed and tired when exposed to it and can react violentely at times.
Does your girlfriend have stinky feet?
>>29392111
eewwwwww no. thank god for no gf
>>29392132
What would you do if your oneitis shoved her stinky feet in youe face?
>>29392164
be disgusted man. fuck no.
she better be naked so i can check her vagina tho
Greetings, r9k. I am a concerned redditor who would like to inform you that some people from my website have been raiding you deliberately. They are doing this as "revenge" for the icloud leaks. They are posting relationship advice threads as well as race threads here to anger you.
I'm sorry for this. I am ashamed of my community for taking revenge against those of you who were not responsible for the leaks. It's mostly the feminism subs who are doing it. That is all.
>>29392029
Nothing new there m8 thanks though
>>29392044
I just wanted people to know what's happening and that I don't agree with what they're doing. I'm sorry for how their actively trying to ruin your community.
>>29392029
Nobody gives a fuck you faggot
Go back to where you came from
>ask girl out
>yeah that would be lovely she says
>never hear from her again
>ask girl out
>no reply
>ask girl out
>wake up
>ask girl out
>"but anon, incest isn't right"
Who /parentsruinedyourlife/ here?
>Mom comes back from the store
>Bought me a "family size" bag of twizzlers
>"Here honey, I bought these for you. Should last you a while."
>Eat the whole bag within an hour
>tfw over 250lbs
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT MOM YOU KNOW I'M ON A DIET AND THAT I DON'T HANDLE PORTION CONTROL VERY WELL WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME YOU'VE FUCKING MADE ME A DISGUSTING FAT FUCK.
FUCKING REEEEEE
Haha well just your lusck anon! I wrote a guide for this.
HOW TO KILL YOUR PARENTS: THE COMPLETE GUIDE
THE BORING DISCLAIMER:
Here's the usual legal shit: I am not responsible for anything you do with the info presented here. It is for informatian and perhaps humor purposes only. In other word s you can't tell the judge that I influenced you to kill your parents. Thanks to the first amendment and the freedom of speech I can write about anything, hehe. So go ahead and read, for "informational" purposes only though.
THE INTRODUCTION:
Everybody wants to kill their parents at some point in their life. If you never wanted to kill your parents why the fuck are you reading this? Below are some nice simple and creative ways to kill your parents, but first if you are a little bit unsure whether to kill your parents or not or you just need a good motive to give to Mr.Sheriff here are some reasons to kill your parents (or things your parents do that piss you off):
They annoy you
They embarrass you
They piss you off
They ground you
They attempt to limit your freedoms (like no tv or no computer)
They starve you (like if you get grounded and are sent up to your room without dinner)
They overfeed you forcing you to eat until your stomach bursts and blood starts gushing out your mouth
They bug you about your grades
They are bosey and ignorant
They hit you
They drink booze themselves but wont let you have any
Etc, etc, etc
Now that you have a motive or two (or three, or four) here are the actual killing methods:
>>29391955
IoI @ your life fat man
>>29392021
You left out the actual methods, but at least a few of those apply to me.
>>29392053
Fuck of normie, it's not my fault.
