Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3201. page
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dubs decide venetiancats
donald j trump for president of the united states
>>28408767
>what are you waiting for
The end
If I pay you $50 will you lick my willy?
In just a few days it'll be a whole month since I last saw my dream girl. I kissed her on the way out the door, she looked up at me for a few seconds , smiled and kissed me back several times, then texted me later saying 'hey, just wanted to say hope you have a great day! :)'
Then I never saw her again, i was ghosted.
Every day still sucks no matter what I do to distract myself. I feel insane now, I keep fantasizing about her contacting me again.
Her: hey anon..
Me: hey
Her: i'm sorry I haven't talked to you in awhile.. I miss you though
Me: okay
Her: do you hate me now? :(
Me: no
Her: i understand if you do.. I've had a lot going on lately.. can I see you tonight?
Me: maybe
And then I realize that she's a girl and will never talk to me again, and probably will never even think of me again, I don't exist anymore.
But then I stalked her twitter last night and saw an ecstatic tweet about me when I was seeing her several weeks back.
What did I doooooooooo
>>28408753
>What did I doooooooooo
idk this is so foreign to me i can't really comment
but perhaps she is serious that shes just had a lot going on lately. its only a month.
>>28408753
how many texts have you sent her since?
Try five years of oneitis (still ongoing) and then talk to me about grills
I am going on a date tomorrow with a girl to watch Captain America Civil War and then we go out for lunchat BJ's. You guys got any tips? Btw it is our second date, and we hugged last time after I left her house after playing vidya and stuff for a bit. I want to hold hands but idk how. I do intend to re-hug her and kiss her on the cheeks just go try and escalate things and see how she reacts.
Also, if she lets me stay at her house for a bit then we could watch 5 cm per second (romance anime movie, she is qt3.14 jap weab).
One last thing, i did the calculations and in total the date will take 4 hours (will be done around 3 oclock I think.) I want to take her to my local botanic gardens (30 min drive away) and then dinner if things to late enough, but I'm not sure if I should split that up into a couple different dates or not. What do, robots? I love her a lot but I want to make her love me too. FYI I am going to be paying for everything myself, since that's what society dictates.
Yes whatever you want ffs just stahp.
I'll be real once you do.
>>28408729
Ask her if thats what she wants to do
Also you could try hug her from behind and kiss her on the cheek. I was gonna try that until she fucking left me. Good luck man
>>28408729
Get on your knees and bury your face in her crotch as a greeting.
Remember to be true to yourself and success will follow.
>Be a black teenager
>Want to get a part time job but no one will hire you
>Friends show you how to and sell weed
>Get caught in a stop and frisk thing
>You could just get community service but the judge sends you to juvie to teach you a lesson (also for kickbacks he'll be busted for in 20 years)
>When you get out, your record is sealed, but since you only have a GED, if that, no one will hire you
>Start hustling weed slightly more big time
>Cops pull you over as you're driving 8 miles above the speed limit
>Busted carrying across state lines and with the weapon you have for protection which you couldn't afford to jump through the hoops for a CCL for (a law that in your state dates back to suppression of BPP open carry activity)
>Go away for awhile as you're being made an example of again; the white guy who pleads guilty after you gets a sentence 20% shorter
>Get out
>Attitudes towards weed are changing
>Two former presidents, at least, smoked the good good in college
>Pineapple Express is released
>Etc.
>Laws get passed to legalize in several jurisdictions
>You're excited, this is something you know how to do and now you can do it legi-
>Wait, there are super specific laws about who can grow and sell
>You have to have a facility with CCTV
>A limited number of licenses are given out
>Oh, and you definitely can't do it if you're a felon
>Well, at least you can smoke
>Go to pick up some one day
>The guy who ones the place is the college kid you gave tips to when he came to get a dimebag off campus
>He dropped out but now he's rolling in it, even when he's giving a huge percentage of his profits to the businessman who's bankrolling the whole operation and is friends with the state rep who helped the legalization bill get passed
>He's also selling a bunch of crazy shit like weed mojito mix and shit
>lol okay
>You smile and dap and are on your way
>Get home
>Roll up, light up
>Puff
>Shit's weak
>>28408691
It's a shame that drawing depicts cannabis, because it's beautiful.
shit's weak umi dah
Fuck off you dumb nigger fuck, blaming everything but yourself. You deserve to die slowly just by virtue of ever buying into the weed meme
>tfw no soulless bf
What is a soul? What is a soul , unless you mean "to feel joy".
I feel joy when I bathe in the tears of my fallen enemies.
Their cries of defeat and helplessness soothe me like fine music.
>tfw qt bored bf
>>28408630
me
Original desu senpai
Any virgin robots in Atlanta near the Cumberland mall area want to fuck my gf on a regular basis while I watch on cam? 100% serious offer. She's thin and cute. This is just sex, if you get creepy or oneitis-y you're out. Consider it practice, maybe.
I live in gwinnet desu
>>28408732
If you're willing to make the drive, it's fine. Stats? Pic? Contact info?
>>28408893
This is sketch as hell senpai
Original comment
chat with some robots/chads/stacys/etc
omegle.com
rags: r9k, r9komegle, omegler9k, robot9001,
post current omegle qts
>>28408556
gold's on
Should i put on my jew costume?
tfw no adriana la cerva gf
Charmaine Bucco is my goomar
>fucking a snitch
>loving a girl who'd sell you to the feds
She wouldn't do five years. She was a cunt.
What are some profitable occupations that are abusive and morally reprehensible? I don't care about other people or even my own personal safety. I just want means.
>>28408457
selling drugs/selling anything/banking
>>28408457
lawyer.
you can do some really scummy stuff.:^)
>>28408457
you make me sick OP, sick to my stomach, sick that there are people in this world like you, sick that someone would even type the things you typed out. Sick that you are allowed
Hiking down a remote trail several hours away from any hope of meeting somebody, you meet a girl who claims she is going to disappear in 30 minutes and doesn't want to die alone.
What do you do?
It's funny how much slower this board gets on Saturday night.
Rape her. What were you expecting?
hold her until she fades away
>4chan stole my attention span
>>28408400
Sure look it'll be grand.
>>28408400
If anything it has kinda enhanced it. I had threads last for days on /toy/ and /ck/ and other shit.
>>28408524
>America shooped out
I'm really good at loving people, but people suck at loving me
why can't I just have someone who knows how to hold me
I'm so sad robots
let's share some feels
>tfw you will never live on a space ship colony and stalk your qt oneitis around the ship
>tfw you will never sit with your qt in your spaceroom watching animu and staring at the stars discussing impermanence and self
>tfw you will never dress in what anon tells you to
>do all his chores
>live with him in his parents house taking care of him
>he abuses you a lot but his mom doesn't care
>always smile at her but get no response because she hates you for taking her child from her
>he makes you do disgusting and embarrassing things to meet his kinky desires
>beats you for no reason when he's angry and you apologize
>full on Stockholm syndrome
why
>staying with someone that beats you
Literally why.
>>28408475
i-its only out of love, anon... r-right?
honestly through I have a really specific philosophical obsession with pain. in some sense, I know pain is more central to humanity. and being in pain, nothing matters. it makes things flat. even. real.
>>28408395
>why can't I just have someone who knows how to hold me
Why can't you just learn how to love yourself? Don't romanticize your self-hatred. It needs no justification. It's ugly, and you will be miserable and dysfunctional until you confront it and change it and learn to show yourself compassion.
Just had thee worst fucking experience ever trying to lose my virginity to an escort.
Is this what I've been missing out on? Air-headed bimbos so disengaged they can barely peel their face out of their phone to open their smelly fish-flap? THIS is what I've been crying about and lusting over for years?
I'm still a virgin but I can safely say sex is THE MOST OVERRATED thing on the planet. Porn warps your view of sex and makes it some grand experience -- truth is, humans are disgusting animals and sex is a filthy, gross experience. Prove me wrong.
>>28408342
>I'm still a virgin but I can safely say sex is THE MOST OVERRATED thing on the planet
>I'm still a virgin
>virgin
Saged.
>>28408342
Fucking a whore is slightly different from having sex with someone you love though, don't you think
>>28408429
this. Have you seen that movie where Joseph Gordon Levitt plays a porn addict who only breaks his addiction when he finds a milf he emotionally connects to? Banging a fuck buddy is only slightly above getting off to porn, its worse depending on the girl. But romance + lust is unbeatableThe trouble is, that combination can only exist for a few months at most
who /goodfeels/ here
this is a thread for good feels ONLY, whether it's autism, a good fap, or what the fuck ever.
right now I'm smoking a a hookah with spearmint shisha, playing some minecraft tekkit, and listening to future funk
today I also hit the gym and made some nice gains, I'm slowly escaping skeleton mode and it feels good
what about you robots? any good feels?
Starting an episode of a comfy cartoon while eating a bagel with peanut butter.
Right now I'm feeling like shit. Can't feel my hands properly. I'm feeling sick to the point that I want you to know.
>>28408432
How sick dude? whenever I'm sick as fuck I load up on nyquil and get happy fun time. Keep it together man I believe in you
Every time a fat persons orders food in my store I always give them less than the standard amount because I know I am helping them lose weight.
Any other robots do good deeds?
I actually give fatties slightly more than standard, especially butter. I cake their popcorn in butter. I do this in hopes they'll die of cholesterol or general weight problems sooner
>>28408202
I ask new coworkers for a hit from the cigarette they're smoking, and crush it in my hands when they give it to me. Then I tell them smoking is bad for them.
Then I pull out my own cigarette and light it.
I shoot black """people"""
