Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6861. page
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>Watch horror flick
>Get boner when hot chick screams in pain
>>25279684
>watching horror
>get boner when the bad guy freezes a chicks face
>cum when he smashes it off
>watching QVC
>get boner when the cute milf explains how to use a tablet
>>25279830
Jason X big b0i
>tfw /soc/ rate thread dies every time I post my face
brian peppers, is that you
Oftentimes when I finish masturbating I have a ringing in my ears or I can't hear well for 5 minutes at the most. It always goes away and never lasts longer than 5 minutes. Is that normal or does it mean something about my health? I've tried googling it but it's just a bunch of trolls saying 'you're going to die because you touch yourself'. I have a vag and masturbate ~2 times a week, if that means anything medically.
Has anyone else experienced this ear ringing after masturbating?
Also, chatting about and sharing abnormal masturbation experiences/concerns in general.
Happens to me too. I am literally the most content in my life right now, jerking off and drinking beer then jerking off again. I've worked hard at my job and I'm due for a well-earned promotion soon. I could literally do this forever.
Never had that.
That's a symptom of inner ear thrombosis. It's not gonna make you deaf but you should probably see a doctor in case it's serious
>accidentally spill soda on carpet
>rush to get paper towels
>mfw I cleaned it up so well with just the paper towels that you would have to lean down at the spot to be able to see it
Who /quick/ here?
>>25279458
>having a good old fashioned yerk
>get cum in chest hair
>sprint to the bathroom, semi erect dick waving back and forth
>jump in shower
>cry
Crisis averted.
Bruce Willis was a ghost the whole time
thanks for spoiling Die Hard asshole, no one would of guessed the plot twist of why he was so hard to die.
Great, now I'll never be able to watch that episode of Friends where Ross starts dating his student ever again because it's haunted.
>mfw normalfags will casually shit and piss in front of their SO like it's nothing
You people are fucking disgusting.
Sex itself is pretty gross as well but at least you actually get something out of it.
My wife won't fart in front of me.
>>25279325
You're not truly close until you can take a shit in front of each other.
>taking the morning dump
>she's trying to brush her teeth
>gags at the smell but keeps brushing
What's it like being a black manlet?
Lmnop.qrs, tuv
>>25279319
black, 5'9, and socially inept. ask me anything.
>>25279381
yo this is a really good post
robot living situation poll
https://www.strawpoll.me/6372596
We already knew what the majority would be voting as though
>>25279202
why is this even a thing desu
>>25279202
yes but i am a NEET do you heasr me A NEET FAMSAN
Is DJ Khaled the greatest meme of 2015?
Nah. Just more recent.
>>25279101
>implying socially handicapped robots who are removed from modern life and pop culture know anything about DJ Khaled
Sure is /b/ in here
>>25279101
No, he's a forced meme.
He saw how popular Drake became from his memes and then started hitting social media 24/7 to make himself one.
If a zombie apocalypse ever happened everybody would survive since it's such a hype and everybody knows just to hide, gather supplies, trust no strangers, and never shoot a gun. Let's just face it. There will never be a zombie apovalypse because we will all survive. Why..
That is a contradiction, seeing as how it takes a dead body to make a zombie.
No shit m8
Still, it saddens me to know I will never be with Jessica
>>25278994
>If a zombie apocalypse ever happened
Zombies aren't real.
>stopped eating all sugars, grains, rice, wheat, starches
>feel 1000x better
Why are you still being jewed by these things?
Mya same except i cut out water, veggies and fruit.
I cut out breathing oxygen and I feel 1 million times better. Why are you still getting jewed by this gas?
>>25278861
i did paleo for a few weeks and felt great, but then lapsed back into my usual carb eating ways.
How long have you been doing this?
What is your typical diet each day?
Rosebud was the name of his sled
>>25278758
i was a terrible film student.
big guy is a NORMIE
Watch the intro and outro carefully - it's actually a horror story.
NEET survey time.
>age
>country
>reason you're a NEET
>do you get NEETbux?
>standard of living
>do you live alone?
>26
>usa
>even my parents haven't worked in forever, and that was the 90s (I turned 18 during a depression with bad genes and a bad upbringing
>live with parents, they get the bucks
>usually don't even have Interwebz
>>25278789
Aw, man.. that's terrible as you're living off USA's NEETbux.. that shit sounds like it can't afford shit.
I go into public for access. And because it is in public, I now only go to sfw places ;_;
>born Chinese
>speak Chinese
>watch western movies
>listen to western bands
>read western novels
>play western vidya
>have western waifu
>would rather eat burgers than fried noodles
Congratulations guys you won the culture war
>>25278737
>cuck: the post
>>25278737
what part of china?
>tfw Chinese
>tfw grew up around white girls so that's what you're attracted to
>tfw white girls hate you
>Let the bodies hit the floor.
>Let the bodies hit the floor.
>Let the bodies hit the floor.
What business are you shooting up anon?
>Dont go to work tomorrow i-
>Oh. youre unemployed...
