Today was my first day ever at a strip club. My friend who frequents told me he'd do the talking for me. While I was there the girls working there kept touching my hair and messing it up. It was okay at first but then they made it really messy.
They asked me if I thought I was the boss just because of my hair. And others would say I was handsome. But I wondered if it was all talk or if they were just trying to get tips. Anyway, a really strange guy talked me up and asked me to come outside with him. He asked me if I smoked and I told him I didn't. Before we left the bar to go outside he knocked over his drink by accident and I picked it up. I told one of the ladies working there what happened and she was happy that I pointed it out to her. He wanted me to get into his truck, but I told him I was okay. He told me he just got out of prison and he kept talking to himself a lot. And the guy he claimed he was talking to was LUCIFER. It was really weird and I was afraid he wanted to kidnap me. He gave me some chocolate as a present but I was afraid it was drugged, so I never ate it. Before he left he gave me his business card and told me he had some under the table work and he asked me if I was interested. I refused the business card but he kept insisting. I told him not declaring your taxes is against the law, but he said that it was fine. I thought he might have been a cop or something. He looked really old, but really tough, and heavily built.
Anyway, I went back to the strip club. People kept asking me where they could do "blow" but I told them I had no idea and I don't do drugs. My friend asked me what girl I liked and I pointed out the prettiest girl there. I've never had a lap dance, so he did the talking for me and told her it was my first time.
She sat down and talked to me awhile and then grabbed me by the hand and took me with her. On my way there she asked me if I had a gf and I said "no" and she said "ill be ur gf tonite".
When I got there I was really surprised. In GTA series the girls never did this stuff. But she took her clothes off and started grinding on me. She told me to touch her. But I was afraid it was against the rules, so I asked her "really?". I was caressing her whole body. I was surprised I was allowed to touch her boobs.
She then asked me what I wanted to do and she'd do anything for me. She then asked me if I wanted her to take her panties off. I had a suspicion that she wanted to have sex so I refused because I didn't want to get an STD. And I didnt...
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so since you like cock, what's her name and number?
>>25281184
im pretty sure the only reason she gave me that stuff so i keep coming back to her
im too broke to do this shit
let's see screenshots!
>almost 2016
>doesn't realize everyone on world star is a troll
>troll
Why did that word come back? I'm too autistic to tell when you're using it ironically or just being a normie.
Someone's calling?
>gf's son is having LOUD sex with his tram girlfriend in the next room
>im still a virgin
FUCKING END ME GOD
>tram girlfriend
real men date trains
>>25280896
>gf's son
>gf
>g
>f
>g i r l f r i e n d
>i.e., female who has romantic interest in you
remove yourself from this board my nigga
>>25280896
here, (you)'ve earned it
I'm 26 years old and I think I've finally had my fill with video games. I've been addicted to them my whole life but I don't get any satisfaction playing anything anymore, and I get this persisting feeling that I ought to be moving on with my life at this age.
Anyone else a former vidya addict?
>26
>playing video games
Degenerate.
>>25280891
you should have had this feeling 6 years ago
>>25280891
Yes.
Just like you, they finally stopped being as entertaining.
It started when I was in college and couldn't play them as much.
It got worse when I lived in a shitty apartment and my neighbors' antics caused me to lose focus occasionally. The only thing I could enjoy at my shitty apartment was getting drunk and watching broadcast TV.
I earned my degree, couldn't find a job, and moved back home. My room is a mess (my parents trashed my room while I was gone, and I have an...
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i am attempting to hack the website 4chan, what's the password?
Same as its always been faggot
hunter2Thank me later. ;)
>>25280880
The post/image deletion password should be in your cookies.
>decide to make tulpa
>not working because no willpower
>feel like someone's whatching me anyway
>when going through alcohol withdrawal I see her
>but only near the woods and far away
send help
>>25280870
Best start writing that will.
>>25280870
Is there an anime with cute swat girls or military setting?
>>25280870
Make a Jackie Chan tulpa and get him to kill the first tulpa.
please post fatties getting btfo
Some fat loser here trying to make a name for himself gets repeatedly BTFO and promtly deletes his thread, 5 times aleady.
>>25281015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNrKx8j0yNg
>Fat virgin nigger giving advice on how to get laid when he's a virgin.
>>25281046
Holy shit this guy's beyond pathetic.
How was your day, /r9k/?
>be me
>avid /r9k/ user
>decide to go outside for the first time in 3 years
>haven't showered for 2 years
>ohwell.jpg
>im out of cheetos
>bought 3 years worth of cheetos a while back because i didnt want to deal with the normies
>go outside
>go to my local...
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>>25280810
>underaged furry porn
Anyone else here an Asian guy who isn't attracted to Asian girls at all, and doesn't give a fuck about wmaf and thinks /r/asianmasculinity is cancerous?
Most of you guys want white girls more than Asian guys, you can't have fucking everything. Guess what, which demographic has the most couples with white girls? White guys, and the more white guys date Asian girls who we consider second rate, the more white girls are vacant for everybody else, unfortunately including niggers who have an edge over us
No, this is not fucking bait, don't believe...
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also AMWF spammer, please fuck off
Just get a black gf wang Lou
faggot. u can date all the black women u want
https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/3ycuz6/adult_virgin_needs_help_and_advice_i_have_a_date/
>43-year-old virgin is about to fuck his strong womyn friend with 3 kids who he's orbited for TWENTY YEARS
Which one of you desperate retards is this
>>25280745
>reddit link
>which one of you
just get the fuck out
>>25280745
wow nigga. that's like the ultimate form of beta orbiting. I don't think any robot here has ever held out that long
>>25280745
Lucky bastard.
I mean, seriously. All memes aside, I'd murder for a chance to be in his place. A woman actually wants to have sex with him. The idea seems impossible to me.
I'm not 43 yet, but I'm a wizard nonetheless. This story would give me hope were it not for the fact that I know I'll never be as fortunate as this fellow.
I go to the grave like this. He will not. I hate him and am jealous of his good fortune. Some of you may laugh at that, but try being a wizard....
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q80jM-ajIdA
wtf is this nigga
Which trap would you fuck?
Which trap would you marry?
Which trap would you chill with?
Which trap would you kill?
>>25280703
Camwhore and rate threads belong on >>>/soc/.
>>25280703
I'm a big mde fan so I'll go with edie
...So i just had a wendys triple burger, large fries, large fanta, chili cheese nachos and a junior bacon. it was almost midnight and i ate it in my car in the parking lot, in the dark so that nobody judges me.
r8 my dinner btw.
i also saw there a neckbeard autist wearing a pokemon t-shirt... i was like this in my head " DUDE...WTF LOL...THATS SO OLD EVEN I'M OVER IT...U FROM 4CHAN?"
then i went home.
so r8 my experience.
Que dijo esta familia?
>>25280696
ne habla espagnol amigo
>>25280663
interesante cuento companero
I almost hooked up with a Stacy and lost my virginity but couldn't get hard because anxiety. Is she going to tell everybody at Uni? Should I kill myself?
>>25280634
if one Stacy found you attractive surely others will too r-right?
>>25280665
Not really. She's not a 10/10 Stacy. More on the uglier spectrum of the popular girl circle.
Nah, don't kill yourself. I actually dated a "nerdy" girl for a while and had the same issue. She then proceeded to break up with me and tell her new friends that I had a small dick. I was walking around campus one day and overheard her talking to some new guy about how lackluster I was. I'd advise not to kill yourself though. It's not the end of the world if your flaccid penis is the hot topic of their discussions that reinforces other girls to not want to fuck you. At this prime age people just want to get their dicks and pussies wet. Admittedly I've...
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>be me
>22 years old
>first time on 4chan was 2006
>work in a restaurant making about 15$ an hr after tips and everything
>in college
>4.0 GPA
>been living with gf for 2 years
>got kicked out of my house at 16
>was addicted to oxys, opiates in general
>haven't...
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gtfo normie senpai