Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4973. page
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>Hnnn... your massages are the best, anon...
>>27093237
I don't have hands.
>>27093237
>footfag
>foot massages are easy to get out of girls
C-can I massage your prostate?
>mfw boss is so impressed with my sales that I'm being considered for promotion
>>I haven't even been on project for a month yet.
>mfw qt co-worker starts taking interest in me.
>>we're going for coffee on our lunch break tomorrow
I've ascended. I've reached normalfaggotry. I'm free. you hear me faggots? I'm free!
>>27093202
I thought I'd never see that face again.
>>27093202
That's cool now get outBut no, seriously, congratulations. Don't forget us.
>>27093202
Wait until your coworker isn't into you romantically, reacting like it's ok is true normal faggotry, when you rage inside and dream of her annihilation, you can come back here with the rest of us.
There's a Chad outside puking his lungs out and it's beginning to scare me. I think he smoked and drank too much and he's finally paying the price or something. But I'm trying to sleep and it's too scary I can't fall asleep he's not far from my window.
shoot him in the dick
Yell at him to fuck off. He's totally drunk, and on some level he knows this. Shame works on most drunks, especially if they're doing something like vomiting.
Video Tape it and use it to blackmail him
Which of these qts would you bury your dick in?
glasses asian is the only acceptable choice
bag asian is ugly, black people are gross, and the white guy looks like a weirdo
glasses asian is a total qt t.b.f.
>>27092955
I'd fuck three raw.
3 > 1 > 2 > 4
>>27092955
Unpopular opinion incoming
2 > 4 > 3 > 1
>tfw mixed
>tfw Hispanic
>can't get ddindu benefits
Mixed of what?
I saw you post about being mixed with a frasier yesterday too
I'm tracking you and know your every move motherfucker
This is /r9k/, isn't it
>>27092711
Reuenthal is legit my favorite anime character ever
>>27092711
Hahahahaha mommy issues the board hah
>>27092734The only time I've cried in the last two years was when he died.
I want people with horrible teeth to post their horrible teeth ITT
Always been self conscious about the big gap in the front and how yellow they are...
>>27092769
Lol that's nothing. Your teeth are completely normal.
>>27092667
Fuck you 4chan, how is "bumping for interest" not "original"?
>reclined on park bench for an hour
>family walks past on their way home
>"so is he dead?"
>someone walks up closer to check
>"hahaha whoa I thought that was a dead person laying there"
>mfw
Got any strange stuff you've heard when out and about?
>>27092585
>walk through park
>pass a group of girls
>they start laughing behind me
![1b589d3b36cfdf786db9943e9381e18f[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/6gPnzig.jpg "1b589d3b36cfdf786db9943e9381e18f[1]")
>3AM
>Out for a night walk
>Always go out on a sea wall and smoke a cigarette and watch the ocean
>some old man walks up to me and says "your not out here contemplating suicide after dark, are you"
>"w-what, no."
>"oh, ok"
>>27092585
I once saw a couple banging in the park which was pretty cool. Not sure if that's what you're looking for though.
> be honest, anon. do you think i look ugly? :(
She literally looks like an ape
>>27092527
I wish I could turn white too.
>>27092527
> everyone at school makes fun of me and say I have the disease that killed Michael Jackson. They say they don't want to catch it from me :(
How can a slimy hyper-autistic NEET pseudo-hikki weeaboo dork make money without ever leaving the house? Mom and dad aren't going to pay my rent forever, and if I move back home, I'd be too afraid to hang my anime loli posters on the walls. So let's use this thread to brainstorm ways for losers to make money.
I've given a lot of thought to scamming niggers on the internet. They are dumb, and I think I could entice them with something criminal. I think I would message them on Twitter or whatever and say "yo nigga, I got this job as a bank managa. if you send me yo ATM card numba, I can double the money on it and we split the extra." But how would I get the money out? That's where it falls flat.
Send in resumes everywhere.
Shower daily and dress with a semblance of care.
Get a job interview and start working.
There, your life is fixed. It's really not that hard, lots of humans do this on a daily basis. You can do it too.
>>27092476
I don't want to go outside or talk to people face to face though.
I'm taking an employment piss test next week, and I'm a little nervous about it. I know I know "degenerate drug addict faggot" blah blah blah.
I haven't smoked weed in 31 days, but I was an everyday toker for a good year and change (not blunts or joints, just a few hits off the one-hitter). I'm 5'10 about 145 pounds, with minimal fat around my abdomen. I took a home test yesterday and it had two lines which they say is a negative but the line was a little bit fainter than I would like it to be.
Am I getting worked up for no reason? The test I took had two lines, but if the lab sees the second line is a bit faint when I take the real test, will they fuck me over? Should I just buy another test?
If anyone has experience with pre-employment drug tests, please share. Luckily I have a few more days but I wonder if that will even be enough.
Drink your urine before the test that way your body filters your sample twice and you'll be fine
Take some zinc supplements, they might help
Water and exercise, if you are really paranoid, pop a cleanser a few days before hand.
In less than 2 hours I'm going to go meet a tranny to get facefucked. Super curious straight male here.
Someone talk me out of this.
You're gonna let a sleazy, disease-ridden heeshie facefuck you? Disgusting.
are you that desperate?
Abort mission or get AIDS, you choose m8
>>27092138
this is a bad idea anon, and you know it
Write an original letter to someone who may or may not read it
You smell really weird
I would hang out with you more often, but you smell bad and I don't want to hurt your feelings. We're better off just playing vidya together, far away.
Dear Nameless,
You once told me that hope costs nothing, and for a while I believed in it. Three years later, I realize that not all costs are measured in dollars and cents, and that "nothing" is infinite and priceless.
Apparently my time was nothing. My sympathy was nothing. I am nothing. My hope was nothing. Nothing is nothing, and that means that both ends of the equation are equal: vast and terrifying.
But your affection wasn't nothing. It was cheap and you gave it away to everyone but me. Lavished me with cheap words of comfort while you lavished others with, as you called it, "meaningless fun." Wasn't meaningless to me. And you knew damn well what you were doing. Do I still sound like Elliot Rodgers to you? Maybe he had the right idea.
But I've been with other girls since then, so this isn't about that.
I wish I could hate you. I wish I could feel nothing but fury and rage when I think of your face (Every day. Every goddamn day.). The vision still brings me nothing but joy. I wish you hadn't mocked me when I told you how I felt. I wish you would stop leaving the voicemails. It hurts me to play them and it hurts me to stop.
What did they say to you when you went off to college? When did life become nothing but the pursuit of drugs and sex to you? You said it makes you happy, and I can tell it really does because you never had those scars on your arm before you left. Did you finally do yourself in? I can't find your obituary, no matter how hard I look.
The other day some "homeless-by-choice" hipster kid at the bus stop told me that I deserved a "metaphysical apology." I told him he was a hippy piece of shit and he needed to pull his head out of his ass, and stop sleeping in the dirt and eating garbage, and where does he think the cigarette I just gave him came from? People with a job, you lazy jackass.
I don't know what my problem is. I think it's like you always said: they put too much alcohol in my blood-surrogate.
Love (?), Anon.
Dear L,
Yeah I said i was flirting with others, but honestly, you never leave my mind honey. You're always there, even now when I have to face the fact that you're with someone else and you're probably saying i love you to him as well, just like you used to, to me. Even though it hasn't been that long since we broke up, it's felt like eternity. I really honestly do miss you. I spend almost all my free time just looking at the pictures we took together.
I can't get over the fact that you're really gone and you won't be coming back . I hope to god that time will heal your wounds and you'll find a way to come back.
Even though you're gone, my love still grows. I won't be forgetting you any time, nor in the near future. I miss you, i really do.
I guess I just fell too hard huh?
This goes to J/F, take care of her man, and if you stop loving her, just send her back home.
I hope you're happy honey. I'd do anything for you.
Poor grooming gets you laid
:FACT
Doesn't matter. Just be tall.
>>27091594
And rich
This is an original comment
>>27091574
>her shoes
women can get away with the shittiest fucking outfits
>not voting TRUMP to watch the world burn
>>27091466
Seeing Reddit raging eternally would be more than enough
>>27091466
Literally the entire reason I like Trump. Hope to god he starts a third world war. I just want to do something other than wasting my time here, and having a fucking pointless job. BRING ME CHAOS GOD DAMNIT. I WANT A CAUSE TO DIE FOR!
>>27091521
>tfw atom bombs going off everywhere
>tfw building your bunker
