Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1385. page
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>At uni
>These chads knock on your door
>Hey anon why don't you come play madden in the lobby with us you're always in your room
What do?
Yeah, ill be down in 10 mintues
>dont go
:^]
>>29424225
"Sure thing, Chad."
Orignal spaghettio
>>29424225
Suck the one on the left off then right before he's about to cum, stop, and tell him if he wants me to swallow his load he has to suck off the guy on the right for a bit.
Why are you not bisexual?
not a faggot thats why
>>29424153
I'm not desirable by anything.
Doubling my pool of potential partners still equals to zero.
>>29424153
i think i am
but it doesn't change anything
How do I tell a girl I don't want to have sex with her
Being myself helps.
come out to her
>I don't want to have sex with you.
At which point you proceed with not having sex with her.
What's the nicest thing normies have done for a robot?
>>29424117
Not genocide us. It would be so easy
"doing nice things" or having them done to you does not support survival
therefore it supports death and failure
I pretend to be a loser so they don't feel alone in their suffering.
Bawww am 30 years old virgin living in moms basement saving gbp for mommies pleasure stick time.
They buy it everytime.
Guys how the FUCK do i get a GF or even a friend. I have no fucking clue... I'm 26 and haven't had a true friend since school. I have normie "friends" who I talk & laugh with at work but they've never invited me out for a drink, a party or anything in-between...
Im not kidding you when I say the thought makes my heart beat out of control. Massive panic attacks, genuinely suicidal at times my life is going nowhere, living alone and can never afford a home to impress a girl - how do normie adults function i don't f u c k i n g understand!!! My colleague has 2 kids, a wife and a nice car... WTF is going on.
I just need a gf to give me hope. at work every girl is in a long term relationship, besides i'm too beta to have a chance, once they figure out i have no friends they'll leave me.
seriously guys what do i do, i'm on edge right now...
U just gotta bee yourself senpai
Bzzzzz..... Bee yourself :^)
>>29424126
>tfw fell for that meme
>tfw that's why I have no friends
I spent all day looking for a certain couple of BDSM videos.
>>29424059
So did you find them?
>>29424111
Yes, after like 5 hours of searching.
Also nice trips.
>TFW Phil won't tear my ass into two and make we walk funny for a week.
Why fucking live
>>29424006
if you are a bio female i would
>>29424006
if you are sort of female i would
Boi pussy is just as good Philly.
> Be a few months ago
> Be in 8th grade
> Fat girl in school
> Always talks about Black Veiled Brides and god damned MCR
> Halfway through year in school
> She starts wearing a clip on Furry Tail and ears to boot
> She is being annoying meowing at everyones face
> Gym class comes (I am in same class)
> Teacher tells her she cant wear her crap in gym
> She starts meowing at the teacher
> Teacher tells her again
> She meows louder
> Teacher tells her to sit in the hall
> The fat girl starts running around while hopping like a down syndrome kangaroo across the gym
> Everyone is staring
> Some Chad think it is smart to call her a weird shit
> Ohfuck.jpg
> She starts kangaroo hopping towards the Chad and his Chad friends
> Meowing and Shin Kicking ensues
> The Chad is like wtf get it off me and he doesnt want to punch it in fear that the autism is contagious
> Fat Girls friend (male, short, thin, FNAF fag) comes up to her and takes off her ears
> All of a sudden she stops kicking and shit. Like all of a sudden. Like it is like those ears were possessing her or some shit, which reflects even more on her furfag autism
> She Is told to go to principal's office again
> She listens and just leaves while glaring at the Chad
> She Isnt seen for a week
> Comes back, still has ears and tail
> Gym teacher doesnt say shit
> MFW
you have to be 18 to post on 4chan, dude
>>29423989
perhaps your low-tier bait detector isn't working?
Just fapped to some yiff.
Goddamn I want to fuck someone in a bunny or pony suit, I dont care if its roast beef or shit filled man anus.
>be me
>meet qtguy
>handsome sweet and smart
>fourth date
>hanging around his apartment
>he is on his computer
"You named a folder 'stuff'?"
"Yeah, that's private."
"Your porn is your business haha"
"No, really please"
>go on his computer
>open up the folder
>find file after file of psychologist forms
>he has been through five psychologists and two psychiatrists but he cant shake his depression
wat do /r9k?
>>29423928
why are you looking through his shit when you're only on a 4th date level?
>>29423952
this, hopefully he find out soon enough.
Cut contact. He most likely will murder you.
Serious question: how is it that so many of you end up being obese?
I am a NEET too, but I haven't been over 180lbs since I stopped consuming soda and hot pockets and the like six or seven years ago. I still eat relatively unhealthily but I don't think I'd be able to get to 200lbs unless I ate nothing but bread and candy all day.
>>29423914
Where the fuck is this obese meme coming from? Every time we have done a strawpoll with hundreds of answers less than 10% of r9k is obese. The vast majority are skeleton mode skinny.
>>29423914
>I haven't been over 180lbs since I stopped consuming soda and hot pockets and the like six or seven years ago
Consuming a can of soda and a hotpocket every day doesn't make you fat. At my worst I would sometimes eat 4 hot pockets.
I also like going out to eat a lot, which is easily 2000+ calories for a large meal. It only takes 3500 excess calories to gain a pound of weight.
>>29423914
they're on here because they're fat, not the other way around
WHHY RNT VIDEOGAMES FUN ANYMORE
>>29423865
You aren't 6 years old
>>29423865
Because it's become a repeditive habit and your brains tired of the same old stimuli.
>>29423865
because:
1) video games these days are shit to begin with
2) you're older
Dead of the night edition
>tfw actually getting anxious that the cucks will get their majority to remain in the EU
Fuck liberals, fuck Islam and fuck those sandnigger immigrants. Farage was right all along
>>29424157
I am still undecided however I am edging towards remain
>>29424157
Oh for fuck sake. You retards need to understand than voting leave will NOT change how many mudslime immigrants come flooding in. Fuck me do you even research this shit or just go on /pol/ and look at epic Nige images for a couple hours. Leave has a lot of benefits, stopping pakis coming in is not one.
>tfw neither trump or hillary will pass the NEET Amnesty Act
>tfw no free $2000 a month
>tfw no free capsule to live in
>with free internet
when will we be free?
where will that free $2000 come from?
>>29423841
>tfw immigrants and blacks get more free shit than you do just by existing and faux sympathy from rich whites who want to exploit them.
The only thing bad about being a NEET is that rich whites can't exploit us to do their dirty work.
>>29423841
You know, we could always ignite the beta uprising.....
It worked for a while in Russia and China.
Choose one
>Tall and small dick
or
>Short and big dick
>>29423829
tall and small dick. this is for picking our boyfriend right? height is way more important.
>>29423829
>>Tall and small dick
That's me already.
187cm, 13cm dick.
>inb4 why no burger measurement.
>>29423829
how short
if it's 5'8"/5'9" i'll take short and big dick
Who else has an objectively great life but still empty inside and comes here to feel better
>>29423817
I have a nice apartment in a great area and enough money to be comfortable but 0 job security and fairly severe psych issues that make me go insane and pace around and engage in a lot of unhealthy behaviors. The physical, measurable details of my life are great, but i had a bad childhood and my head is not unfucked from it yet.
>>29423861
Have you tried therapy?
>>29423817
my family is nice and i get semi good grades at uni, got good friends we smoke and drink lots of times but whenever i am alone i can t help but think life itself is meaningless and the joy i can find in life will never be enough to contemplate for all the pain, so the only option seems to be death, i did get cucked by a women recently maybe if i had someone i truly love this could help me idk
