Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5589. page
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American robots have a moral obligation to vote for Trump
>>26323891
I'm voting Bernie though.
>>26324097
>voting for a known cuckold
Trump will make all of our dreams come true
Do you think you'll spend the rest of your life sitting in front of a computer every night?
>>26323874
A great many nights probably.
I will. But as long as I have my waifu with me I'm set.
>>26323874
I would love to be that guy. Fucking coke lines all over the desk.
>attempted suicide twice in the past
>first by attempting to cut wrist, second by attempting to cut throat
>both failures (obviously)
>both landed me in the fucking psych ward
>thinking of preparing an exit bag for my next attempt
Does anyone here have experience with exit bags? Or tips on tying a good noose?
Suicide methods general.
You can't even kill yourself? That's fucking pathetic
>>26323548
heres a protip: if you didn't die, it's because you didn't want to.
Seriously buy a fucking gun or freefall if you really want to go out.
>>26323585
This is a bully-free zone
>>26323587
I'm afraid of failing at freefall. A lot of people survive those drops with broken bones and ruptured organs.
You're given a button. If you press it, all Muslims in the world will immediately die. If you don't press it, all Jews in the world will immediately die. You cannot press it afterwards to get them both.
What do you do?
>Dont press it.
I may hate Muslims a fuck ton, but I hate jews a lot more as a whole
>>26323076
i would suggest /pol/
Muslims
The pose more of a threat to us than jews and the jews cant cause more damage than they already have.
An iq test, the one that isn't piss easy.
15 questions, 20 minutes.
http://similarminds.com/int.html
I got in the 79%. What about you OP?
>>26323353
Here's the proof
Who here /smart-but-lazy/?
Dear femanons, would you ever date a trap?
I don't mean a transsexual, but just a really girly boy who maybe sometimes even likes to crossdress.
Actually yes.
I'd want a feminine bf to cuddle with, talking about make-up or dressing.I also have a peg fetish but I won't force it on him though
Sadly the few I could find are all gay ;_;
>>26322994
Are you a fujoshi?
Also, do you search for these guys often? I see tons of traps in threads around r9k all the time.
>>26323093
>Are you a fujoshi?
No, nether in mind or physique.
I don't "search" them, they happen to be near me. I'm sexually assertive/dom in my fantasies (I'm virgin) but I'm too shy to aggressively pursue men.
Yesterday I had a grill come to my house to watch a movie. you guys gave me some advice... here's how it went.
>halfway through movie
>decide to sit a little closer to her
>she seems pretty ok with it
>keep watching movie
>decide to make my move
>slightly lean back, raise arm above her head
>the arm is about to go over her shoulder
>she looks up, sees arm
>redflag.gif
>"woah" She says
>kinda scoots away
>she awkwardly laughs
>"I think im just gonna go" She says, looking at her watch
>gets her bag, thanks me, walks out door
to the faggot who told me to put my arm around her, fuck you.
>>26322817
KEK you fell for the old arm around shoulder meme?
You deserved it OP.
>>26322817
she doesn't like you, try to make friends with her and then get her to set you up with female friends eventually
>>26322817
>to the faggot who told me to put my arm around her, fuck you.
Why, he helped you realise early on that she wasn't into you.
If God came down and said you had 24hrs to find a gf or face a guaranteed eternity in a fiery pit of hell, what would you do?
>>26322787
Is there sauce on that pic?
Find this girl and do naughty stuff
>>26322813
http://www.poringa.net/posts/imagenes/2799378/Primer-mix-amateur-de-la-semana.html
>100 word lab report due by 11:59
>havnt even started
>still sitting her listening to music
im so fucked
>>26322759
just fucking write it you tard, quit being so lazy
>1500 word report due Monday at 11:59 pm
I'm not even trolling here, I'm a lazy piece of shit with no motivation.
>Exam tomorrow
>4 exams in the past week
>Passed one
>Failed one
>Grades not yet known for other two
I even did the laundry today
I'm gonna cheat through this one
BALDING IS LITERALLY THE HEAVIEST BURDEN A MAN CAN POSSIBLY HAVE.
>inb4 starving third worlders
DON'T CARE
>inb4 that one anon with Crohns disease
DON'T CARE
>>26322714
Acne scars, you dumb nigger
At least you can still pull off the hot look even if you're bald.
>>26322828
go to a dermatologist dipshit
>>26322714
shave your head dipshit
>>26322975
>implying acne scars can be fixed
Your best bet is a really expensive surgery, and even then there will be traces of that shit left on your face, you mongoloid.
Why don't you just move to a cheap country /r9k/? You could live a great life on less than 1/5 the budget of your expensive American life. What's stopping you?
>>26322624
I would be earning 1/10th the income, also there are a lot of big black guys who might take advantage of my tight pink boipussi
I like playing vidya with people who speak my language. (Too high of ping to places I would be able to understand)
>>26322662
>there are a lot of big black guys who might take advantage of my tight pink boipussi
Downside where?
>uninstall league of legends
>enjoy my life more
coincidence?
>place Plat last season
>go 7-3 in placements
>get placed in silver 1
F U C K T H I S B S
>stop tryharding
>suddently win all my games
K, fine
>>26322283
yup. fuck league. now u get placed in the dump pool with the elo hell shitters even though you climbed out of it the previous season.
>every game you queue up 4 other players with different play styles, different tolerance limit for raging out, etc.
>Did you hear about the wagecuck that learnt to fly?Mr Shekkelstein said a promotion was up in the air for him.
>What eats half a pack of hotpockets at a time and weighs 200lbs?Half a janitor.
>I was surprised to learn that this guy eggman is a virgin...I guess that makes him the only egg that didn't get laid.
>Apparently bad-dragon.com have brought out a new sex toy that fucks you so hard you'll end up spending all your time on it and you'll barely be able to sleep or function properly after.They're calling it 'Employment.'
>A NEET walks into a bar, orders himself a drink and sits down next to a distraught looking wagecuck. He asks him what his problem is and the wagecuck tells him that he was just laid off at work.
>"That's too bad," says the NEET, "what happened?"
>The wagecuck replies, "Well, my boss told me that my performance was weak, I fell shorter than average and I always finish too early."
>The NEET sympathises with him and buys him a drink. The wagecuck tells him that to make matters worse, his girlfriend just left him for another man.
>Now the NEET had just started seeing a girl who was previously in a relationship with a wagecuck, so he asks the wagecuck the name of his ex.
>To their amazement, it's the same girl. The wagecuck is crushed and stares blankly into his drink for a minute before asking if she ever told the NEET why she left him. The NEET hesitates then says,"Well.... She said your performance was weak, you fell shorter than average and you always finish too early."
So who have we got in the crowd tonight? Is that you, Mr Shekkelstein? Thanks for coming out! Let's have a round of applause for Mr Shekkelstein! Yeah, maybe he'll finally give you that promotion from wagecuck to executive wagecuck tomorrow. Enjoy the show, Mr S. Good luck getting a tip from this guy, waiters.
eggman isn't a virgin pham
keep trying tho
If you're making them up yourself, I rate 8/10.
What was the surf board one again?
delicious jokes pham
>"Anon, wake up!!!!"
>"Hold on just a few minutes longer"
>"Sergeant Chad, he's not gonna make it!!!!"
You may be wondering how I got here, from shitposting on Japanese image boards, to being a Black Berets Special Forces commando. This is my story.
Bootcamp was fun, sometimes I trade rare Charizards with fellow NEETS while I got cummies in the outhouse.
>>26321941
But then there was Stacy, she was quite a bitch, there was always that one robot who would do everything for her.
>>26321972
If she wasn't sucking the drill sergeant's dick then she was just trying to find another way to fuck up our lives.
If women care about personality why do they date black men?
>Average Caucasian male has the IQ of 95
>Average Negroid male has the IQ of 73
>Average African American has the IQ of around 80 due to the caucasian mixture.
They don't. White women prefer white men(so does everybody). Go look at the stats
>>26321901
I know that they perfer white men but they end up fucking a nigger or two in their lifetime.
>>26321867
Personality is a meme.
>IQ != personality
> Women != personality
>Women = want a big dick and someone to beat up Normies for them
>black guy = big dick, muscular, aggressive
>women = want a big dicked, muscular, aggressive guy
>women = want a black guy
It's simple mate. Stop falling for the "jus' b urself" meme.
